shit, christy, i''d have to go back to that year's journal and look at what was happening...i AM putting something together.i have three fires burning, but two don't need to be burning right now, this is the one i've been giving the big energy to. i wanted to see what people who read just one essay out of the bunch and what it made them think
( ... )
i've held it in check. it's brutal, it's ugly and it's frightening. thank you thank you for being willing to accept what is. who's me. it's why all those parts of me you don't like. i'm a fire engine siren inside. i'm going to open my mouth. it's going to be LOUD.
what will be gratifying, what will make me know i'm on the right track, is knowing what men think. and not men like nils or jake, who have been raised sensitized by the kind of mothers they have. i want to know what a man who was raised by june cleaver thinks. someone who, if he is in touch with his inner self, did it on his own. that's the final victory.
I am not sure that many of us have story-book perfect childhoods - but when I read of the sort of childhood you had all I can do is admire the way that you survived it, and be extremely grateful for reasonable chastisement when earned, a warm bed, and parents and grandparents whose behaviour was dependable.
I also fully understand the wish to remain in your own place - I travel only with some discomfort at leaving my own few square miles.
thanks, i'm hell for my husband who likes to travel by car to anywhere north but going east and west to get there. i love it too, but i'm a nervous wreck...
stories in life & travel
anonymous
August 14 2007, 19:35:23 UTC
hi bird. i finally have enough downtime to look here in livejournal again. how do you remember things so clearly? i guess that is the sign of a writer. i have to photograph to remember. do you think going over all this will help clear things for you? i know that with nightmares, if you say it outloud to someone else that the sharing helps it fade away in your mind - perhaps this will do the same for you. i think staying in the present is also another way - perhaps that's what meditation/praying is all about.
and by the way, you are lucky you came out of that trance of no emotion.
i can't no, I can't no, I can't no no no, i can't no , i can't get no sat-tis-fac-shun...oh no, i can't get no, no no no, I can't get no, no, no sat-tis-fac-shun...
i know you work in a forties club, and are younger than me, but the Rolling Stones ARE still touring, you little girl
Hey now, you have to admit that was mighty cryptic. I think of Sympathy For The Devil first when I think of the Stones, anyway.
pleased to meet you hope you guessed my name
...and it's easily the best. In my opinion it makes up for Mick's hubris and grotesqueness. Plus all that excessive repetition.
Also, while I'm venting my opinion, I absolutely love and admire Charlie, even more now that I've read his Wiki article. I could see that secret behind his eyes when I first laid eyes on him, in a music video, yes, sorry, but again I've never been a Stoneser. With every glance he says "this is my day job."
You may know the story to this quote: "Don't ever call me your drummer again. You're my fucking singer."
Absolutely brilliant.
And that, my dear, is why one must never assign me a pigeonhole. I do not fit into single boxes or zodiac slices. Sorry.
Yipes, I read this over again and realized I sound a bit curt, which I didn't mean to do at all!! I don't know what it is about writing late at night, but I start sounding all hoity-toity. Sorry about that.
You are so beautiful, I know this is sudden, strange, I feel as though I've found a longtime friend --
In true awe, (see your footnote on your profile) of your eloquence, your incredible hold on truth, your braveness, I hope I can be as courageous as you, you solider of truth.
I am so grateful I can read you - Thank you.
[also, I'd like to add you to a filter I have, I know its early, but I feel like you ... get it.]
this is so scary it's beautiful and so beautiful, i'm scared. yes, iwill go to this plce you speak of,tho i might not know how to ue it it yet, i'm a techno-moron, but i too have a feeling, there's a connection that most people wouldn't want to even know about...i thank you for yr trust to give me a place in yr journal so soon.
Comments 17
(The comment has been removed)
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
thank you thank you for being willing to accept what is. who's me. it's why all those parts of me you don't like.
i'm a fire engine siren inside. i'm going to open my mouth.
it's going to be LOUD.
what will be gratifying, what will make me know i'm on the right track,
is knowing what men think. and not men like nils or jake, who have been raised sensitized by the kind of mothers they have. i want to know what a man who was raised by june cleaver thinks. someone who, if he is in touch with his inner self, did it on his own. that's the final victory.
Reply
I also fully understand the wish to remain in your own place - I travel only with some discomfort at leaving my own few square miles.
Reply
Reply
and by the way, you are lucky you came out of that trance of no emotion.
peace, love, hugs
Reply
Reply
"Mick, you lied." - ???
Reply
get no sat-tis-fac-shun...oh no, i can't get no, no no no, I can't get no, no, no sat-tis-fac-shun...
i know you work in a forties club, and are younger than me, but the Rolling Stones ARE still touring, you little girl
Reply
pleased to meet you
hope you guessed my name
...and it's easily the best. In my opinion it makes up for Mick's hubris and grotesqueness. Plus all that excessive repetition.
Also, while I'm venting my opinion, I absolutely love and admire Charlie, even more now that I've read his Wiki article. I could see that secret behind his eyes when I first laid eyes on him, in a music video, yes, sorry, but again I've never been a Stoneser. With every glance he says "this is my day job."
You may know the story to this quote:
"Don't ever call me your drummer again. You're my fucking singer."
Absolutely brilliant.
And that, my dear, is why one must never assign me a pigeonhole. I do not fit into single boxes or zodiac slices. Sorry.
Reply
Reply
You are so beautiful, I know this is sudden, strange, I feel as though I've found a longtime friend --
In true awe, (see your footnote on your profile) of your eloquence, your incredible hold on truth, your braveness, I hope I can be as courageous as you, you solider of truth.
I am so grateful I can read you - Thank you.
[also, I'd like to add you to a filter I have, I know its early, but I feel like you ... get it.]
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment