Both the new Amon Amarth and Anaal Nathrakh albums are fucking AMAZING. Goddamn.

Dear Rob, here's a little advice: don't call me at four in the fucking morning attempting to excuse yourself from work unless you seek to end your life. I am short on mercy when awoken prematurely. By the way, I'm not your assistant manager. I suggest calling him instead, though I surmise his disposition will be much the same as mine.

This is the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I am in tears from laughing so hard.

Goddamnit, I swallowed a fucking salmon bone and now it's stuck in my throat and it hurts. Fuck you, you stupid bone. Soon you will feel the wrath of my stomach acids and they will DESTROY YOU.

Muslimgauze is amazing in a way that mere words are incapable of truly expressing.

Note to self: Juanitas is a shithole. Never go there again.

There are very few certainties in life, and that I will never fully comprehend the fairer sex is (certainly) chief amongst them.

Respond to this post and I will give you the three words that I thinkMOST accurately describe you...even though the moment I click Post,I'll realize I should swap at least one or two out.

The cost? You have to return the favor by posting this in your own journal.

yeah okay that was copy+pasted, but, you know. go ahead. i'm a nice guy. i swear ( Read more... )

Starbucks has treated me well, to be sure, but after having ridden in Travis's new 330xi and having driven somewhat recently a brand new S4, my yearning for financial success has been yet renewed. Though that is not to say my desire to have nice things has been any less of late, quite the contrary in fact, but moreover that the drive to do ( Read more... )

I cannot wait for winter so that all the bugs fucking DIE. Flying bugs were the worst thing evolution ever gave rise to. Fuck you, evolution. Fuck you and your goddamned flying bugs.