I'm sick. You're tired. Let's dance.
Being as this is January 31, 2005. I thought I'd post since it's the end of the month. Well, hmm...what to post about first of all? I could post about what I've done...Or..I could post about how heartbroken I feel right now.. Maybe about how much I hurt or how much I really hate people.
Meh. I could bitch. But, I don't want to. I guess...this month has been really confusing for everyone who reads my livejournal. I've been all moody..and sad? I don't know. I feel like I've been leading everyone on with my "problems" which at the time seem...so fucking fake. This first month..has been different. I've learned so much about myself that I didn't know last year and to think it has only been thirty-one long, agonizing days...
So. I guess...all I have to say is:
I still have trust issues.
My grandparents are both slowly dying and there isn't much I can do about it.
There is probably something wrong with my head.
I'm sick.
For the first time in my life..I don't want to die!
I don't know how to talk to people.
I keep WAAAAAAYYY too much to myself.
and
I need people in my life.
Wow...interesting...aint it? Nah, not really.
I've learned that so many people hate me...because I'm the one that does the hating in the first place.
I'm scared that one day. I'll be left with no one. No friends. No family. No..nothing. And, that'd be my fault..because I would be the reason....
Thank You.
Goodnight.
Goodbye.
I had a good time.
But, it's time to let go of you.
I love you.