so i'm in toronto...we have got a place, it will be ready on the first ..its cool and in pretty cool area. We are staying Marcels great uncles. he has been nice enough to let us stay til our place is ready and cooks for us. very thankful for his hospitality. also incredably bored, waitng to have a place to start the full out job search and not ( Read more... )

so the good news Marcel has got the car and it is getting worked on. the bad news is it will take a week. so he will leave like a week from now and i will leave a week from friday. i dont know how much longer can i possiblibly take how things are right now...i have nothing to do all the time except wait. in the long run having the car will be such ( Read more... )

looks like i wont end up buying a place so i am off to rent. gone in 10 days or less i am hoping. i love my friends. i love my family. i am a lucky boy. so i leave all my loves and i leave my safety and i go away. i am not so easy at letting go so i hurt and i plan and i cry but i guess it is how it is. someday it will all be ok i hope.

i cant worry about the things i cant control but i worry about you i cant worry about what might have been but i worry about how it will be now. i'm sorry if i blamed you i'm sorry if i didnt live up to the promise i'm sorry i cant make it better i'm sorry this is how it is.
i am sleepy and alone.

so i went out last night and it was pretty good. we went and saw britta play last night ..it was good. will played with her a bit, i thought he did a good job too. i should just stop now and leave this as the best journal entry of all time. or all times. but i shall go on. gregors asked a question last night that was pretty cool try and answer ( Read more... )

and after all the mystery it was about saving the girl. contimplate. complete. compete. fail. fall. finale.

i have started to offically panic attack inducing freak out about moving. i guess now that i am making house offers it has become suddenly real and difficult. my friend shannon just had do something similar when she moved to la. i am so proud of shannon for going to la cause it is really hard to leave here and very scary to go out on your own. i ( Read more... )

its just like it never happened and you have to deal with all over, even if its only for a few seconds before you remember everything. it sucks. gotta go find somewhere to live.

Gregors taught me how to use this. Stevie and Braden and i had a tournment, Braden and Stevie beat me. Stevie has taken the title.