My birthday party really needs to happen already so that I can get over obsessing with the status of my evite (why didn't so-and-so's ever view my evite, etc) and focus my nervous scary energy on more active places. There are so many more sensible things to be nervous about right now in my life, but no. This takes the cake ( Read more... )

For my birthday my mom gave me two watches, one sporty, the other metallic, both too expensive and clunky and dull for me to ever want to wear. She referenced the disastrous last time we saw each other, in which she pointed out the watch I was wearing was a woman's watch. I had told her at the time, "I know it is, but it's the only watch there ( Read more... )

After having assured myself I was dying and preparing for a TV-movie final year of life, my lump is not cancer but something called an "inclusion cyst." The doctors didn't care to explain what that was; rather they appeared to want to get me off their chests as soon as possible, so their assured tone was surely enough to make me leave and go about ( Read more... )

Fuck. Completely forgot I wanted to go to Fiona Apple's Tower signing. Woops. Also wanted to go to Charlie Kaufman's radio play a month ago. I can't remember anything I want to do when I don't have a life. Not that I could actually do them since I don't have a life, but it would be nice to recognize the intention greater, at least for the ( Read more... )

I thought I'd understood how to defeat gender roles on a personal level. I'd gotten past the superficial sweetness of them. But now I can't help but wish my attraction were aimed to the unknown, the opposite, the half of the locket that slips just right. I want that. I can't help but want that. I always will. This skin is wrong ( Read more... )

I haven't felt so bitter against so many people at once before ( Read more... )

scribbled in margins of my notebook during a blackout while sitting on the grass ( Read more... )

Whole city gone, one of the few unique ones here too. Awful. Not long after the monsoon either. What does that mean ( Read more... )

A week ago after doing a recording assignment at his place, my sound partner Tae walked me to his car. We had just done a recording exercise on his baby daughter's squooshy mats designed with a dog that I could've sworn was Snoopy but he was in fact someone else whose name I can't remember. He, myself, and our two readers/my friends Frank and ( Read more... )

Facts ( Read more... )