Beside You - Part 1
-1-
Adam hurtles up the staircase, taking the steps two at a time, and slows to a brisk walk as he veers into the corridor toward his science class. Up ahead, Jay, one of their receivers, throws his hand up in greeting and grins at Adam. They share a backslap hug, and Jay asks, "You comin' to Kevin's party tonight? Heard a rumour Shelly's gonna be there..."
Adam matches Jay's grin. "Not sure yet, man. But I gotta hurry, I'm late for Jackson’s class."
"Aw shit," Jay says, cringing. "All right, see you later maybe?"
"Yep." Adam continues along his way to A18 and raps lightly on the door before letting himself in. Mrs. Jackson gives him a pointed stare as he enters.
"Adam," she says dryly, "thanks for penciling this class into your busy schedule.”
"Sorry!" Adam says, wincing and walking to his usual spot at one of the high, round tables in the back right corner of the classroom next to Danielle. She grins at him as he sits down.
"Dummy," she whispers.
Adam sticks his tongue out at her, smiles brightly, and turns his attention to the front of the room where Mrs. Jackson is bent over the attendance sheet.
"All right," she says, straightening up and moving to stand in front of her desk, "now before the interruption, I was explaining that we'll be starting our midterm assignments. I don't think I need to remind you that this assignment is worth 40% of your grade, but I feel compelled to do so again just in case you've forgotten. For this project, you'll be working in assigned pairs."
Adam exchanges a disappointed pout with Dani as some of their more vocal classmates make noises of dissent and outright dismay at this news.
"Settle down!" says Mrs. Jackson sharply. "Are y'all graduating this year or not? You better start acting like it, folks! This is only one of the many times you'll be forced to do something you might not like in the course of your lives. Are you planning on groaning like that at your boss when she pairs you with someone you aren't friends with?"
Adam smirks. Mrs. Jackson loves to give life-after-high-school pep talks. They’re kind of her forte.
"Now, for this project you'll be given a topic," Mrs. Jackson continues. "You will do research on that topic and write a five-page paper on it, and then you'll give a fifteen-minute oral presentation on what you researched. The workload for this project should be completely shared, and you'll have a whole month to do it, so I expect great things from all of you. Please don't disappoint me or yourselves."
And with that, she begins reading out the pairs they’ll be working in. Adam listens with vague interest; he doesn't care so much about who he ends up with. He gets along well with most of the people in his class, so he figures he’s bound to end up with someone he likes well enough.
"Adam and Kris; you'll be presenting on the AIDS virus."
Adam jolts in surprise. Kris? Kris is the quiet kid who rarely speaks, and usually only when spoken to. Adam recalls that Kris also plays an instrument in the school orchestra, and he looks over and meets Kris' gaze across the classroom. Kris nods once at Adam and turns his attention back to the teacher. Adam takes a moment to exchange a bewildered look with Dani, and then they both grin and look away to avoid laughing.
When the bell rings at the end of the period, Adam saunters over to Kris' table, greeting the people who say hello to him as he passes. When he reaches Kris, he smiles jovially. "So, we're working together."
"Looks like," Kris says shortly, and with, unless Adam’s mistaken, a generous helping of sarcasm.
"Well," Adam barrels on, "I thought we should exchange phone numbers so we can figure out when and where to meet to work on this thing."
Kris stands up and starts arranging his books into a neat pile. "Okay," he mutters, scribbling his name and number on a scrap of paper and handing it to Adam, who looks down at it and says, "Oh, you spell your name with a K? That's cool!" Kris stares blankly at Adam and shrugs. Adam tears the corner off a loose-leaf sheet of paper from his binder and writes his own name and number on it, and places it on top of Kris' textbook.
"I should give you a heads-up," he says. "I have practice on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays."
"Well, I have rehearsal on Tuesdays."
"Damn,” Adam says. “Well, you could come over on Sunday if you're free?"
Kris blinks once, slowly. "Uh. Okay."
"Good, I'll call you tomorrow night. We can work out a time and I can give you my address."
"Fine. See you," Kris says, and then he gathers his books in his arms and walks away.
Adam's eyes follow Kris, settling briefly on his rather nice ass which Adam quickly averts his gaze from before setting off for his next class.
---
Adam does not end up going to Kevin's party after all because his dad’s in town visiting with Adam and his younger brother. He’s brought Adam and Neil to a Mexican restaurant of Neil's choosing, and it takes all of ten minutes for him to start in on Adam's college plans.
"I just want to make sure you’re considering all your options here, Adam," Eber says. "With your talent, you could play just about anywhere."
"Well, I'm not sure I want to play football for the rest of my life, Dad," Adam replies. Neil looks exceedingly bored with the topic of conversation as he stares into his glass of water.
"That’s okay,” Eber says, nodding, “you don’t have to play for the rest of your life. You can play for a few years while you decide what you want to major in; there are so many things you could do, Adam. I just want to make sure you know that."
Adam glances around the restaurant. "Messaged received," he replies, taking a sip of his water. He sees Neil glance up out of the corner of his eye and smirk at Adam’s curt response.
Eber seems to have given up (for the moment anyway) when he turns his attention to Neil. "So, how's school?"
"Crap," Neil replies. "My teacher's a moron."
Eber chuckles easily. "Aww, come on. I doubt your teacher's a moron.”
"Yesterday," Neil begins, and Adam rolls his eyes; Neil’s the most precocious fourteen year-old Adam has ever met, and he just so happens to be Adam's brother, "he informed the class that Columbus' expedition was slowed because the navigators of the time thought the earth was flat." Eber and Adam stare at Neil, who cracks a grin. "That's such a common misconception! The navigators actually disagreed with Columbus' estimates on where India was. And obviously they were right to be sceptical!"
Adam laughs and shakes his head, resting his elbows on the table and rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Might want to lay off the history textbooks for a while, smartass."
"You might want to crack one open for once, dumbass," Neil shoots back immediately.
"Guys," Eber sighs.
"Man, you are so insufferable," says Adam, smirking. "You must get the shit beat out of you on a regular basis."
"Yep," says Neil, without missing a beat, "and it's usually the shit-for-brains football jocks doing it."
Adam almost winces. Neil knows how to go for the jugular.
"Guys, quit it," Eber says. Adam and Neil glare at each other for several moments, silently agreeing upon a momentary truce.
"So, are you seeing anyone these days?" Eber asks Adam. Adam starts at the non-sequitur and shakes his head, starting in on his taco when the waitress places his platter on the table before him. Eber tries again, “Anyone you’re interested in?”
Adam drops the taco back onto his plate. "No, Dad." He fixes his father with a look that says, clearly and firmly, drop it. Adam does not want a girlfriend, and although Adam has told his dad this fact several times, Eber remains relentless in asking Adam about it.
Eber sighs and starts eating his food. Adam follows suit after a moment where he shares a look of not this bullshit again with Neil, and their camaraderie (which is unusual for them) makes Adam feel a little better.
---
Adam calls Kris the following night just after supper. He’s not sure anyone at Kris' house will even be home given it’s a Saturday night, but a pleasant-sounding woman answers after the second ring with a kind, "Hello-o?"
"Hi, may I speak to Kris, please?" Adam asks politely. "I'm Adam?" he adds, "I'm a -- a classmate from school."
He’d almost said friend, but that really isn't accurate at all.
"Just a moment, Adam," she says pleasantly. There’s a soft clunk in Adam’s ear, which Adam assumes is the sound of her setting the phone down on a hard surface while she goes to retrieve Kris.
Kris picks up after about thirty seconds with a short, "Hello?"
"Kris? Hey, it's Adam."
There’s a pause on the line, and then Kris says, "Oh, hey."
"Uh, I was just calling to see if you're good to come over tomorrow to work on our project."
"Yeah, I'm good," Kris replies. "Where do you live?"
Adam rattles off his address, and once Kris has repeated it back to him, once they've agreed on a time, Adam says happily, "Well, see you tomorrow, then! Have a good night!"
"You too?" Kris replies with an inflection that makes the words sound half-hearted.
As Adam hangs up, his thoughts turn to Kris' general attitude toward him. Kris doesn't seem to really like Adam all that much, and Adam’s completely clueless as to why that is. He thinks they've probably never even had a conversation before yesterday afternoon.
Adam hopes it won’t be a problem and calls Dani to see what she’s doing tonight.
---
The doorbell rings, and Adam bounds down the staircase, shouting, "It's for me, I got it!" He opens the door to find Kris standing there in a plaid, button down shirt, a brown corduroy hat, and a pair of very faded jeans. He looks extremely out-of-place on Adam's front step, and so Adam opens his door all the way to greet Kris with a warm, "Hey! Come on in!"
Kris steps over the threshold of Adam's house with a hesitation Adam can practically feel. "Let me give you the tour," Adam offers, pausing to wait as Kris removes his shoes by the front door. Once he's joined Adam by the entrance to the living room, Adam smiles. "This is the living room. No one really uses it, actually," he admits with a laugh.
He leads the way down the hall to the kitchen, pushing open the swinging door to allow Kris entrance first. "The kitchen." Adam’s mom is seated at the table with her glasses on and the crossword in front of her. "This is my mom, Leila." Leila looks up, smiling. “Mom, this is Kris.”
"Hi Kris," she says, getting up from the table and holding out a hand for Kris to shake. Kris takes it without hesitation, shaking it firmly.
"Hello," he says pleasantly. "You have a lovely home."
"Thank you very much!” she says with a smile. “Make yourself at home, Kris.” Leila sits back down and takes up her pen to continue the crossword.
Adam smiles down at his mom and eventually turns to Kris with an even bigger one. "So, shall we head upstairs? My room's the coolest room in the house.” Leila's soft, responding laughter follows them upstairs as they ascend the staircase. Adam points to Neil's closed bedroom door as they pass it. "That's my brother's room. He's probably doing something he shouldn't be, or his door wouldn't be closed," he explains, smirking and opening his own bedroom door. He walks in with an arm swept out. "Welcome to Paradise!" Adam announces in one of his accented voices. They’re kind of stupid, but Adam can't stop himself from using them; they’re something he's been doing for years.
Kris looks around the room in silence. He surveys Adam's posters, the Bowie one, the Stones one, the one signed by the New York cast of Wicked, and Adam's sound system and music collection, and suddenly his face is no longer uncomfortable. He looks surprised and interested.
"You like Bowie?" he finally asks.
Adam grins. "Totally! He's my favourite, so incredible."
"And you like the Stones?" Kris verifies.
Adam nods, still smiling at Kris' look of genuine shock. "Yes I do, sir!"
Kris bites his lip with an expression of contrition on his face. "Look, I - I'm sorry. I've been kind of a huge asshole to you."
Adam lets out a big, heartfelt laugh at Kris’ words. "Well, I don't know about that! You did seem a bit cold toward me, though," he admits.
Kris cringes. "I'm really sorry. I kinda thought you were like all the other jocks at school, and I couldn't figure out why you were actually being nice to me."
Adam bounces onto his bed and shimmies along it to sit cross-legged in its center. "Understandable. But I really don’t buy into their bullshit; a lot of those guys are jerks, and apart from sharing a field with them three to four times a week, we have nothing in common." He pats the comforter in invitation, and Kris perches on the end of it.
"You know," Kris says, "I try not judge people, but I really screwed up here. Can we have… like, a do-over or something?"
Adam beams. "Sure! I'm Adam," he says, thrusting his hand out.
Kris shakes it immediately. "Kris," he answers with his first genuine smile. A smile that disturbingly makes Adam's heart beat a little harder in his chest.
"Uh, so what music are you into?" Adam asks, distracting himself.
"The Beatles. Michael Jackson. And lately I'm into Jason Mraz and John Mayer. I like singer/songwriter types mostly."
Adam clutches his chest in relief. "Oh good! You have awesome taste in music; we can totally be friends."
Kris looks surprised for a moment, and then he gives Adam another genuine, pretty smile. A comfortable silence permeates the air around them as they smile at one another. Adam sighs happily, leaning against the wall. "Well, this is encouraging! I was worried this would be a really shitty month of working together."
"Me too," Kris says, nodding fervently. "Seriously, I really am sorry for being such a jerk before."
"Hey, it's fine," Adam says firmly. "Let's put it behind us and move on."
Adam's door bursts open at that precise moment, and Neil rushes in like a tornado. "Dude!" he exclaims excitedly. "You've gotta come see the most hysterical video ever!"
"Can you please fucking knock?" Adam says with calm restraint. "Someday you'll walk in on something awkward, and I'll just laugh my ass off."
Neil waves away Adam's lecture. "You're gonna laugh your ass when I show you this video."
"Later," Adam says sharply, gesturing to Kris. "I have company."
Neil stops flailing and looks to the foot of the bed where Kris is staring at Neil with his eyebrows raised and an amused half-smile on his face. "Oh, shit, sorry. I'm Neil."
"Kris."
Neil looks Kris up and down. "Hmm. You look nothing like the people Adam usually hangs out with."
"Kris and I are working together on a project for school."
"Ohhhh. Well that explains it.” Hastily, Neil mumbles, "Well, I'll show you the video later, then,” and backs away toward the door.
"Good idea," says Adam sardonically.
Just as Neil’s pulling the bedroom door closed, he raises his eyebrows meaningfully at Adam. Adam feels his stomach squirm in alarm and confusion.
"Sorry about him," Adam groans half-heartedly, rubbing his bedspread nervously.
"It's cool," Kris says. "How old is he?"
Adam smiles wryly. "Fourteen. Yeah, I know."
"Wow. My brother's sixteen, and he's nowhere near as... well--"
"Ridiculous?" Adam offers. "Yeah, he’s a real smart-ass, that’s for sure.”
Kris shrugs. "Well, at least he's smart."
"I guess," Adam says resignedly. He gets up and moves to his record collection. "Now, what should we listen to?"
"Let's crank out some Bowie," Kris suggests.
"Sweeeet," Adam replies. Then he cringes. What a loser! He busies himself with putting Diamond Dogs on the record player and arranging the needle properly for the first track. As the music flows through Adam's room, he walks back over to his bed and sprawls out on it. "Come on. Lie down on your back and close your eyes. It's the only way to listen to it."
Kris does not hesitate to follow Adam's suggestion.
At some point Adam falls asleep, and he’s awoken by a soft knock on his bedroom door. "Boys?" It’s Adam's mom. "Supper's ready! There's plenty if you want to stay, Kris."
Adam blinks blearily at his door and scrubs his face with his hands, groaning slightly. "Hang on, Mom," he croaks, and clears his throat.
Kris is sitting up when Adam looks over at him. "Whoa," he says.
"We fell asleep," Adam declares, deciding to state the obvious for some indiscernible reason.
"Yeah.”
"You should totally stay for supper. My mom makes a mean pasta sauce."
"Uh, okay, thanks. I just gotta call my folks and let 'em know."
They straighten out their clothes and get up, exiting the room and filing down the staircase with sluggish steps. Adam enters the kitchen where Leila has set the table with four places. Adam sits down in his usual spot across from his mom, and Kris comes in a few minutes later and grabs the seat on Adam's right. "Thanks for having me over for supper, Leila.”
"My pleasure, Kris," she replies, smiling wide. Then, "Oh, for the love of -- NEIL! Let’s go! We're all waiting!"
Neil bursts into the kitchen and throws himself into the only available chair. "Sorry. I was just reading about microeconomics."
Adam shakes his head, shovelling some pasta into his mouth so he can't snarl out a reply, which is bound to make his mom angry; she hates when he and Neil argue.
"What'd you learn?" Leila prompts.
"Oh, Mom, don't," Adam groans. "Don't get him started."
"I learned," Neil says pointedly, ignoring Adam, "about supply and demand."
"Is this homework?" Kris asks curiously.
Neil looks at Kris in surprise, probably over the fact that someone apart from his parents is taking an interest in what he has to say. Adam feels momentarily guilty.
"Nah," Neil says. "Economics isn't even in the curriculum this year, which is just stupid. Some of the idiots at my school are already spending their money -- well, their parents’ money -- you'd think the school would want to get us all understanding and participating in the capitalist system as early as possible."
Adam catches his mother's eye and raises an eyebrow at her. He’s close with his mom; they talk a lot, and a recurring discussion topic is how quickly Neil’s growing up, how cynical he’s becoming. Adam is not a fan of cynicism, and his little brother’s already a cynic-in-training.
Kris nods sympathetically. "Yeah, we're only learning the ins-and-outs of all that in my class now. You might have to wait a few years to hear about it at school."
Neil shakes his head in dismay. "I hate school."
"So," Adam says swiftly, "Kris and I are working on a science project together. We have to write a paper and give a presentation on the AIDS virus."
"Oh!" Leila gasps. "You know what? I actually have a whole bunch of old newspaper articles on that. Maybe you could talk about what they knew then, in the early stages of its discovery... as opposed to what they know now?"
Kris and Adam meet each other's gaze, and Adam nods. "That sounds like a great idea, Mom!"
"Yeah," Kris agrees. "Thanks!"
"Hmmm," Neil interjects in a significant sort of voice.
Adam slowly turns his head until he‘s glaring at Neil with as much venom as he can muster up. "What are you hmmming at?" he snaps, anger just below boiling point.
"Nothing," Neil says quickly. He says no more, but there‘s a smirk on his stupid face that Adam wants to remove, with physical force if necessary.
"So, how was dinner with your father last night?" Leila asks, clearly changing the subject.
Adam doesn’t quite cringe, but it’s a close thing. "Ehhh, it was all right. Dad wanted to check that I've considered all my college options."
He’s a bit uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. This is Kris' first time coming over; he’s bound to think Adam and his family are ridiculous. But when Adam glances over, Kris is giving Adam a warm, friendly smile.
"Very responsible," Leila says with a nod.
"Also very annoying," Adam adds, mimicking his mom’s nod. Neil laughs.
"He's just checking up on you."
"Mhmm, and in the most annoying way possible.”
"Yeah," Neil says. "He keeps asking Adam if he's 'interested in anyone at school.'"
"Well, he just wants to know what’s going on in your life,” Leila explains.
“Well,” Adam says, imitating his mom’s empathetic tone, “asking about the same things over and over again is not the way to do it.”
The topic of conversation has been exhausted, and they move on to another one.
---
At school the following day, Adam finds Kris at his locker. He punches him on the shoulder in greeting and says, "Hey!"
Kris turns to him, rubbing his shoulder. "Hey. Jeez, you pack a hard punch."
"Well," Adam says by way of explanation, shrugging. "So, how's it going?"
"Fine," Kris says. He glances around at the groups of people loitering in the hallway. "Uh, you sure you want to be seen talking to me?"
Adam frowns. "Dude, come on, this isn’t Mean Girls or something. That's not who I am, okay? I’ll talk to whoever I want whenever I want, and that totally includes you."
Kris gives Adam a small smile that Adam echoes immediately. "So, uh, we didn't work on the project at all yesterday," Kris mutters, scrunching his face up in a way that is utterly adorable. Not that Adam really notices or anything.
"Nope." Adam grins. "I have practice after school, but what about after supper? Are you busy?"
Kris shakes his head, "No, and my mom already invited you over for supper."
Adam smiles so wide his he feels it in his cheeks. "Awww, that's awesome! It's a plan!" He glances at the clock on the wall behind Kris. "Shit, I better get to class; I'm on the other side of the building. But hey, do you wanna eat lunch together later?"
That really seems to take Kris aback. "Sure," he says quietly, after a moment, with an odd expression on his face.
"Great, I'll meet you back here, then." Adam turns to go, but stops and holds up his hand for a high-five. Kris blinks at Adam's hand in his usual confused fashion, and then he slaps it with his own, a wicked smile breaking out on his face.
---
At lunch, Adam meets Dani at her locker, and he leads with, “So I invited Kris to eat lunch with us today.”
Dani looks up from pulling her lunch out of her backpack and quirks an eyebrow. “Studying went well?” she guesses.
“Very. He’s really great,” Adam enthuses. “He likes awesome music, he’s just the right amount of sarcastic, he’s funny. And… well, that’s all I really know about him, but all the more reason to invite him for lunch, right?”
Dani smiles. “Hey, it’s not a problem at all. I’m totally cool with him eating with us.” She finishes retrieving her lunch from her bag, shuts her locker, and they begin walking down the hall toward Kris’ locker. “You know, he’s in my English class,” Dani announces.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mhmm. He doesn’t say much most of the time, just like in Science. But when he does speak up, it’s usually to say something interesting, so he’ll probably be really great for your project.”
They turn the corner into the hallway where Kris’ locker resides, and Kris is standing in front of it, looking in their direction. He sees them coming and throws up his hand up in greeting. Adam waves back.
“Hey,” Kris says.
“Hi!” says Adam. “You two know each other, right?”
Kris nods. “Yeah, Danielle, right? We have English together. And Science, of course.”
“Yeah! You can call me Dani, though.”
“Cool,” he says. “You can call me Kris. I’m boring like that.”
Adam and Dani laugh, and the three of them fall into step together in the direction of the cafeteria. They don’t say anything else until they’ve found and seated themselves at Adam and Dani’s usual table.
Adam stares down at his lunch of celery, two protein bars, and water in sadness. His diet sucks a lot of the time, but it does keep Adam in shape and helps him do a bad-ass job as the quarterback of the football team.
“Is that all you’re eating?” Kris asks. He has two sandwiches and various snack foods on the table in front of him.
“Yeah,” Adam sighs, “Strict diet. We’re playing the Cougars on Saturday, so basically we eat nothing ‘til Wednesday and then we beef up until the game.”
“Someone talkin’ about the game?”
Adam turns his head to find Ace Tucker, the team’s foremost center, standing at the end of their table and giving Adam a smirk. “Hey Tucker,” says Adam.
“Yo, Lambert, how ya doin’?” Tucker asks as he clasps Adam’s hand in his in greeting.
“Not bad, man, how’re you?” Adam wipes his hand on his jeans when he lets go; he happens to know Tucker doesn’t wash his hands after he uses the bathroom.
“I’m great! Pumped for practice tonight,” Tucker says. “Oh, dude! You missed a killer party Saturday night!”
Adam smirks. “Yeah? Missed some wild shenanigans, did I?”
Tucker misses Adam’s mockery by a mile. “Yeah, man. Fuck, Kevin was so wasted! Oh, and that chick… whatshername? The hot one from Spanish? Shelly?”
“Yeah, Shelly,” Adam answers.
“Duuuude, she was lookin’ for you! I think she wants some of your Lil’ Lambert, if you know what I mean…”
“Fuck off,” Adam says casually, shoving Tucker semi-playfully.
Tucker stumbles back, roaring with laughter, and when he’s recovered Adam sees his gaze land on Kris and Dani. “Oh, hey, if you wanna come eat with me and the guys, feel free.”
“I’m good, see you at practice,” Adam says pointedly.
“Cool, see you.” Tucker turns to go, clapping Adam on the shoulder as he does.
Adam moves his body to face Kris and Dani, both of whom are watching Tucker trek over to his friends with nearly identical looks of distaste on their faces. “Sorry,” he sighs.
Dani rolls her eyes, brushing his apology away. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”
Kris fixes Adam with a considering look. “You know, you’re really good at that.”
“At what?” Adam asks, biting into his protein bar with a cringe.
“Finding the balance between hamming it up with him and making fun,” Kris explains, taking a sip of orange juice from his juice box.
Adam laughs. “Well, I can’t really take the credit. He’s just dumb enough not to notice the sarcasm.”
“Shelly really is interested, you know,” Dani says after a comfortable pause in their conversation. Adam scratches his shoulder and takes a bite of his celery stick to avoid responding. Dani sighs. “You can’t avoid the situation forever, Adam.”
Adam makes a face. “I barely even know her,” he says. “We’ve had maybe four conversations all year.”
“Four’s plenty!”
“Dani. You know I’m not interested; wouldn’t I tell you if I was?”
“Yeah, I know that,” Dani agrees, “but she doesn’t. You should just tell her or you’ll give her the wrong idea.”
“How can I possibly give her the wrong idea?” Adam exclaims, throwing his hands in the air. “I haven’t even talked to her since Ellie’s party! How did I give her the wrong idea in the first place? Women! Why do you get the wrong message even when there isn’t a message?”
Kris laughs, nodding, “Yeah, I hear ya, buddy.” Adam feels his face warm slightly, but he keeps his eyes on Dani.
“Oh, and men aren’t confusing at all,” Dani drawls, rolling her eyes. “Come on, Adam. Just come to Tucker’s party on Saturday after the game and tell her you’re not interested.”
“Ahhh, I see what’s going on here,” Adam says, clueing in. “You want me to come to the party so you don’t have to go by yourself.”
“Well… yeah,” Dani says in a small voice, slumping in her seat.
Kris and Adam laugh heartily at that, slapping the table in their mirth.
---
In the locker room after practice, Adam hurries to change so he can make it to Kris’ house as quickly as possible. He says goodbye to the guys and drives to the address Kris had given him earlier. He parks out front and walks up the pathway to Kris’ house. With a deep breath, Adam rings the doorbell and stands there in anticipation. He changes his standing position three times; he can’t remember ever being this conscious of his arms, and how he should hold them. He’s so nervous.
Kris opens the door with a huge grin on his face. “Hey!”
“Hey!” Adam grins back. He follows Kris into the house, stepping out of his shoes by the shoe mat.
“I’ll give you the tour in a minute,” Kris says, “I want to introduce you to my mom first.” Adam nods and follows Kris through an archway into a room that leads into the kitchen.
“Mama?” Kris says quietly. Kris’ mom straightens up from chopping vegetables at the counter beside the stove and turns toward Kris and Adam with a bright smile. “Mama, this is Adam.”
Adam moves forward with a smile to match hers and his right hand out. “Hi, Mrs. Allen,” he greets.
“Oh, none of that, Adam; call me Kim,” she says firmly, shaking his hand steadily. “Lovely to meet you. It’s just going to be the three of us tonight.”
“Where’s everyone else?” Kris asks while snagging a couple of chopped carrots from the cutting board and handing one to Adam.
Kim gives Kris a pointed look over the carrot-theft and resumes chopping the vegetables as she answers, “Daniel has a late practice, so your father’s picking him up. They’ll eat when they get back later.”
“Okay. Well, Adam and I are gonna start on our project. When’s supper?”
“Half an hour. Good luck.”
Kris gives Adam a quick tour of the house, which is adorably quaint, and eventually brings Adam upstairs to his room. There are some posters on Kris’ wall, of Michael Jackson and The Beatles, and a CD player propped up on Kris’ desk, which is swarming with papers, books and a laptop that’s open but asleep.
Kris grabs his laptop off the desk, sits down on the bed with his back leaning against the wall, and beckons for Adam to join him. Adam follows suit, but something inside Adam causes him to pay particular attention to his first time being on Kris’ bed.
“So,” Kris says, pressing a button on the laptop and waiting for it to come to life, “I’ve been doing a bit of research -“
“Me too,” Adam says excitedly. “What have you been researching?”
“Well,” Kris starts, going into his bookmarks and finding a link closer to the bottom of the list, a recent addition, “I found this website with some statistics. And I found one ‘site that explains what AIDS does to the human body, and how it started.”
“Awesome. I checked out those articles my mom mentioned. It’s crazy how much they really didn’t know about AIDS at first.”
“Yeah,” Kris agrees. “Must’ve been a scary time.”
“Yeah, seriously,” says Adam fervently, shaking his head. He absently glances around Kris’ room, and his eyes land on a guitar leaning against a wall in the farthest corner of it. “Oh fuck! You play the guitar!?”
Kris stiffens. The movement is so sudden that the laptop wobbles on his stretched legs. “Um. Sorta,” he replies jerkily.
“Okay, I know we need to work on this,” Adam says, “but I need to hear you play first. Please.”
Kris looks over at Adam, and the expression on his face gives Adam the impression he’s just discovered Kris’ porn collection. He looks completely mortified.
“Listen, I can’t play a thing. Whatever you do will sound great to me, I promise. I just - I love music,” Adam stammers, trying to make himself sound reassuring instead of scrabbling to make the situation less awkward.
“No, hey.” Kris puts the laptop on the bed beside his legs. “It’s cool, I’ll play - I’m just - not used to playing for anyone else, you know?”
Adam can barely contain his excitement as Kris gets up to retrieve his guitar from the corner. When he’s got it, he sits back down on the bed, positioned and clutching the guitar to his chest in a manner that positively exudes grace. The whole picture makes Kris seem instantly less shy and nervous.
“I’ve never played guitar for anyone,” Kris admits quietly. “I don’t know, I play the viola in the school orchestra, and I took piano lessons when I was a kid, but I kinda learned guitar by myself, and I - haven’t got around to playing for anyone yet.”
Adam lets out a cry of excitement and claps his hands together joyfully. “Ohmygod! So I’m the first person to hear you play? YAY! Okay, come on, play something for me!”
Kris hesitates for a moment, and then he plays the opening bars of Blackbird. When the vocals should come in Kris doesn’t sing along, and it suddenly occurs to Adam that maybe Kris can’t sing well, or is too shy to try. Adam joins in with his voice, which causes Kris to stop playing entirely.
Kris stares at Adam, flabbergast. “You can sing, too?” The moment feels too serious and odd for a smile, so Adam simply nods wordlessly. Kris stares some more and eventually says, “How can you be so good at so many things?”
The part of the question that really rattles Adam is the way Kris asks it, like it’s almost too much to bear. Adam breathes out a quiet, modest laugh and shakes his head. “Well, there are a lot of things I’m not good at. Like shutting up. Or staying focused on homework.”
Kris smiles beautifully. “You have… seriously, you have an amazing voice. You should be doing that professionally or something.” Adam blushes, even though several people have complimented him on his singing voice over the years since he’s discovered he has a pretty good one.
Adam feels somehow certain that this is one of those moments that are in all his favourite books and movies; a life-changing moment. Adam thinks his heart might actually burst; the mixture of music and Kris is too much and not enough and just right.
It leaves Adam with a feeling of absolute fear. For years now, he’s suspected this day would eventually come, but he’s been avoiding his feelings and resisting the truth for so long that Adam rather feels as if his whole world is shaking on its axis. But the bigger fear for Adam is that Kris is going to discover Adam’s secret, so he merely continues singing along as Kris starts playing again. And when they eventually start back in on their project later that evening, Adam tries to reveal nothing of his inner turmoil, to pretend that nothing has changed -- even when just about everything has.
---
The following evening, Adam spends several hours looking into a professional career as a singer. He looks up local L.A. clubs online, and checks out the New York scene. He likes the idea of L.A. better; there’s something about the notoriety of it, the city where you can make your dreams happen, that calls to Adam loud and clear. He sees himself on stage, performing in musicals or playing open mic nights at different clubs. But mostly when he considers a singing career, he imagines himself on a stage singing his own songs.
He tries to imagine explaining his passion, his desire to perform to his parents, and he turns off his computer to get an early night’s rest. He spends a long time lying in bed in thought. Kris flits in and out of his thoughts and, eventually, once Adam falls asleep, his dreams.
---
After the game on Saturday, which they just barely manage to win, Adam and Dani trek out to Tucker’s party. Adam nurses the same beer for most of the evening, sticking close to Dani. He’s never felt comfortable at these parties, so he usually tries to come up with an excuse not to go.
“Hey, Shelly’s coming over here,” Dani mutters when they’ve been there for about an hour. They’re settled against a wall in the hallway between the front door and the kitchen, but Dani walks swiftly away, which Adam immediately and inwardly curses her for.
“Hi Adam!” Shelly says when she reaches Adam. She looks nervous.
“Hey Shelly, how are you?”
“I - I’m really great,” Shelly replies, biting her lip and looking past Adam in a way that communicates clear anxiety to Adam.
Shiiit. Better nip this in the bud.
“Hey, do you want to get some fresh air?” Adam asks, smiling.
“Sure!” Shelly returns, and that’s a definite blush breaking out over her cheeks as her mouth turns up in a vibrant smile.
Adam walks through the kitchen, where people are standing around chatting or dancing to the music coming from the CD player on the counter beside the stove. He opens the sliding screen door that leads onto the patio in Tucker’s backyard and holds it open for Shelly to come through before letting it slide shut behind him.
It’s a nice night. Adam sits down in the one of the chairs scattered around a circular plastic table on the patio. Shelly sits down across from Adam and smiles, fiddling with the chain around her neck.
They’re alone.
“You played really well tonight, Adam,” Shelly says, her voice rupturing the silence of the backyard.
“Thanks,” Adam says easily.
“You’re so amazing. Are you gonna play next year in college?”
Adam smiles. “We’ll see,” he says. “What do you want to do next year?”
“PR work, I think,” she says. “I haven’t decided yet, but I better hurry up and figure it out.”
“You have your whole life to figure it out, Shelly,” Adam says. “I don’t think you should be hurrying up at all.”
Shelly ducks her head with a tiny smile. “Yeah. Um. Do you… Do you want to go for coffee sometime?” she asks, looking up.
Adam’s actually fairly impressed with how to-the-point she is about it. He smiles gently and scoots closer to the table. “I would like to go to coffee with you, as friends. I don’t think that’s what you want, but… that’s all I can do. I’m sorry.”
Shelly looks crestfallen for about half a minute, and then she smiles shakily. “I appreciate your honesty, Adam. And you don’t have to apologize, I’d love to be friends with you.”
Adam rests his folded arms on the table between them and gives her his most genuine smile yet. “Thanks for understanding, Shelly.”
Continue to Part 2