My Literary GIRL-Crushes; or, In Which I Seriously Overuse the Word "Awesome"
Okay, one more list before I get to my List of Favorite Books:
By popular demand,* I'm following up my Top Ten Literary Crushes post with their counterparts,** the Top Ten Literary Girl-Crushes. I have thought of posting about them before, usually in response to Sarah Rees Brennan's many protestations that people do not love female characters enough (she links to several other such posts from this one). Apparently, she feels, the world of fandom is full of people who fall madly in love with the male characters and then have nothing but criticism for female characters. This BAFFLES me. Not that she feels that, but that she has the NEED to feel that: who ARE these people who have never had a serious literary girl-crush? It IS glorious fun to crush on fictional characters, and certainly it's easier to SWOON over characters of whatever gender you are actually attracted to in real life, and, statistically, the largest percentage of avid fiction readers are going to be heterosexual females. But why should ones character-love be lavished strictly in terms of romance? Why can't you just, you know, ADMIRE someone an awful lot?
Whenever sarahtales brings up this subject, and asks why nobody picks girls as their favorite characters, I always think, "ME! ME! I have lots of favorite girl characters! And, more importantly, lots if not most of my favorite characters happen to be girls!" A great deal of them are what I would call girl-crushes: they aren't just characters I like a lot, they are characters who are AWESOME. Whom I love with a powerful all-consuming love. WHOM I SQUEE OVER. Even though, with the possible exception of Karen Carpenter's voice, I am not physically attracted to women at all.
I think this really comes down to a wish-fulfillment identification sort of thing. If you never knew me as a child, you must trust that I do not exaggerate in describing that particular Amy: I was the wimpiest, wussiest, most-overly-sensitive crybaby nerd you would have known. Chances are you would not have liked me (even my Best Friends tended to scorn me in public), unless you were particularly patient and friendly and kind, or just wanted to use me for answers to schoolwork. I did not like being like me, much, but didn't know how to change (because really, when that tickle starts in the back of your nose, YOU try stopping the tears from spilling over. Especially when you already feel self-conscious about being prone to tears to begin with). So when I read about girls who were different from me-- tough, fearless, sharp-tongued-- I LOVED them. And should they be LIKE me in the GOOD ways-- smart, bookloving, imaginative, whathaveyou-- it went even further. I wanted nothing more than to BE them. Or at least, if all else failed, have them as a best friend.
So interpret my girl-crush list as characters I can identify with who yet take Awesomeness to New Levels of Awesome. Again, as with my boy-crushes, this is not necessarily a list of my favorite characters, period, but it IS a lot closer to that theoretical list, because favorite characters of mine they most definitely ARE. Also I'm still referring to book versions rather than movie-and-TV versions, although this is less of an issue on this list, because with only one glaring exception (noted in context), the film versions of these characters have all been pretty decent. Unless you count that one of the others' awesomeness was severely compromised by the film version getting the hero ALL WRONG and thereby negating most of the great character-building banter that made the book so awesome. And also, another one I know I saw a few times in a TV version but didn't think much of one way or another to even say how good she was, but I can't remember her being BAD. And two-- three now that I added another-- more that I'm fairly sure have never appeared in film. But GENERALLY, I approve more of these film versions than I did of my Boy list's film versions.
1. Anne Shirley (L.M. Montgomery) --ANNE. I should not have to say anything about this. Over the past century, many authors have tried to copy the awesomeness of Anne by making spunky, imaginative heroines who are always getting into scrapes and most likely even have red hair, but they just haven't got the same results. SHE CANNOT BE COPIED. There is only one.
2. Blossom Culp (Richard Peck) --Really, if you have not met Blossom Culp yet, please go do so. Mostly because she was my imaginary friend in middle school. She's also clever and funny, has a great mind for pranks, lots of fight for justice, and also is psychic. Everybody needs to be psychic.
3. Sophie Hatter (Diana Wynne Jones) --One of the best things about Sophie is she STARTS OUT very much like me-- the hero calls her a mouse when they first meet-- but, upon getting cursed into being an old woman, she just up and decides "HECK WITH IT, I'M OLD AND CRANKY AND I HEREBY GIVE UP ALL MY INHIBITIONS!" and becomes Awesome. NO ONE CROSSES SOPHIE. What's great is she holds on to this strength of character even after she ditches the curse. Now, if only I could manage to dump all my inhibitions, hopefully without getting cursed first.
4. Miss Penelope Lumley (Maryrose Wood) --Hey, I think my newest edition was number 4 on the LAST list, too! Although I have only read one book about her, and that only once, Miss Lumley left SUCH an impression on me with her complete no-nonsense awesomeness that I hereby pronounce her all the way up here. She proves you don't have to be swashbuckling and gender-bending to be awesome; you can, in fact, be a proper Victorian young lady, trained in all the niceties of life, and just generally brilliant and commanding of respect. AND YOU WILL BE AWESOME.
5. Luna Lovegood (J.K. Rowling) -- You know, when I first got to the chapter entitled "Luna Lovegood" I initially thought, "Oh, come on, Jo, do you really need to be bringing in all these new characters NOW, five books in?... oh, wait. Wow. Luna is ... SO... COOL." I love that she's got super-long dirty blonde hair and a vague expression-- "Oh, she looks like me!" I say, and then as I get to know her, and love every off-the-wall wonderful thing she says, I say, "If I was 10 (at the time I first read OotP) years younger and British, I would SOOO BE TRYING OUT FOR THIS PART IN THE MOVIES!" I do love whatsherfacewhosenameIcan'tthinkofrightnow, and granted she's better than I would have been, but seriously HOW MUCH FUN WOULD IT BE to play Luna!
6. Alice ...Liddell, if you want to bring your literary-history knowledge into play (Lewis Carroll) --My biggest beef with the Disney cartoon movie is the sweetening-up of Alice. Alice is not sweet and gentle and polite! She has no patience, sticks her nose into everyone else's business, interrupts regularly, and, lest we forget, is Awesome. Her determination and insistence on logic and ability to keep up -- as much as anyone can-- with characters talking ones ears off with nonsense is what makes her come ALIVE nearly a century and a half later.
7. Miss Jenny Honey (Roald Dahl) -- Okay, Miss Honey is not particularly brave-- actually, she needs a kindergartener to teach her to stand up for herself-- but that doesn't stop her from being Someone I Want to Be. I wanted to absolutely BE Miss Honey when I grew up. Maybe with a bit more money, and minus the domineering aunt. She's loving and patient and a brilliant teacher, and completely selfless in her vocation. Now that I've had the chance to BE a teacher, and failed at it, I admire her all the more, because I know what it takes for a quiet, gentle person to command respect-- a particular With-It-ness, a presence, a bit of Awesomeness, and Miss Honey's got it.
8. Elizabeth Bennett (Jane Austen) --I suppose I can't ACTUALLY claim to love her because she always knows immediately what to say, because she takes it to the other extreme occasionally, saying things she maybe ought to have thought about first. But when you're like me, that still comes across as Awesome. If I could only be so witty of tongue!
9. Eowyn, daughter of Eomund, shieldmaiden of Rohan (J.R.R. Tolkien) -- Because seriously, she's the ONLY interesting, well-rounded female in the ENTIRE THREE-VOLUME EPIC MASTERPIECE (FOUR volumes if you throw in The Hobbit, which is pretty much missing females entirely). You have to root for her for that alone. And she is completely kick-butt, and yet feminine enough to get completely lovestruck over the wrong guy. Slaying nazgul all the while. Because she can handle it.
10. Kristy Thomas (Ann M. Martin) --My first Babysitters' Club book was a Mary Anne book, which was good because she was shy like me-- and I think I found Kristy, on the other hand, a bit intimidating. But the MORE I read, the more I got to know Kristy's insecurities, and THEN I realized, YES, WHY CAN'T I BE HER. WHY can't I put up a tough exterior? WHY can't I be a natural leader? WHY can't I jump into new situations without thinking? WHY can't I DO something with it every time I have a brilliant idea? So yeah, I know I haven't read a Babysitters' Club book for going on twenty years now, but that doesn't take away the high esteem I've held her in in my life. On the other hand, I haven't read a Babysitter's Club book for going on twenty years, so... dangit, the boys' list got a bonus one when I got wishy-washy about number 10, so I'll pull up another bonus one for the girls' list, too:
10+1. Eddis, Queen, formerly (and informALly) known as Helen (Megan Whalen Turner) -- because she is absolutely everything a ruler ought to be: intelligent, wise, just, authoritative (and intimidating when necessary), and with a sense of humor. And not a tyrannical psychopath like her friend the next kingdom over.
Honorable Mention: Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins. Cheating I guess, but she WAS originally a book character, it's just that it is VERY CLEARLY JULIE ANDREWS as Mary Poppins whom I girl-crush on. I mean think about this people: they gave the Best Actress Oscar to a relative unknown in her FIRST MOVIE EVER, and it was a FAMILY/KIDS' movie, and she was up against Audrey Hepburn in a role everyone ASSUMED would be the actual winner-- the chances of this happening are very low when typed out like that, but when you actually WATCH her... WOW. Julie Andrews is a goddess. I'm just saying.
--
*Or no one's demand, really, but it did come up in the comments a few times.
**Not DIRECT counterparts, ie, no matching couples. Well, TWO matching couples, but they don't even appear at the same points on the list. I just mean, that's the boys' list, this is the girls' list.
By popular demand,* I'm following up my Top Ten Literary Crushes post with their counterparts,** the Top Ten Literary Girl-Crushes. I have thought of posting about them before, usually in response to Sarah Rees Brennan's many protestations that people do not love female characters enough (she links to several other such posts from this one). Apparently, she feels, the world of fandom is full of people who fall madly in love with the male characters and then have nothing but criticism for female characters. This BAFFLES me. Not that she feels that, but that she has the NEED to feel that: who ARE these people who have never had a serious literary girl-crush? It IS glorious fun to crush on fictional characters, and certainly it's easier to SWOON over characters of whatever gender you are actually attracted to in real life, and, statistically, the largest percentage of avid fiction readers are going to be heterosexual females. But why should ones character-love be lavished strictly in terms of romance? Why can't you just, you know, ADMIRE someone an awful lot?
Whenever sarahtales brings up this subject, and asks why nobody picks girls as their favorite characters, I always think, "ME! ME! I have lots of favorite girl characters! And, more importantly, lots if not most of my favorite characters happen to be girls!" A great deal of them are what I would call girl-crushes: they aren't just characters I like a lot, they are characters who are AWESOME. Whom I love with a powerful all-consuming love. WHOM I SQUEE OVER. Even though, with the possible exception of Karen Carpenter's voice, I am not physically attracted to women at all.
I think this really comes down to a wish-fulfillment identification sort of thing. If you never knew me as a child, you must trust that I do not exaggerate in describing that particular Amy: I was the wimpiest, wussiest, most-overly-sensitive crybaby nerd you would have known. Chances are you would not have liked me (even my Best Friends tended to scorn me in public), unless you were particularly patient and friendly and kind, or just wanted to use me for answers to schoolwork. I did not like being like me, much, but didn't know how to change (because really, when that tickle starts in the back of your nose, YOU try stopping the tears from spilling over. Especially when you already feel self-conscious about being prone to tears to begin with). So when I read about girls who were different from me-- tough, fearless, sharp-tongued-- I LOVED them. And should they be LIKE me in the GOOD ways-- smart, bookloving, imaginative, whathaveyou-- it went even further. I wanted nothing more than to BE them. Or at least, if all else failed, have them as a best friend.
So interpret my girl-crush list as characters I can identify with who yet take Awesomeness to New Levels of Awesome. Again, as with my boy-crushes, this is not necessarily a list of my favorite characters, period, but it IS a lot closer to that theoretical list, because favorite characters of mine they most definitely ARE. Also I'm still referring to book versions rather than movie-and-TV versions, although this is less of an issue on this list, because with only one glaring exception (noted in context), the film versions of these characters have all been pretty decent. Unless you count that one of the others' awesomeness was severely compromised by the film version getting the hero ALL WRONG and thereby negating most of the great character-building banter that made the book so awesome. And also, another one I know I saw a few times in a TV version but didn't think much of one way or another to even say how good she was, but I can't remember her being BAD. And two-- three now that I added another-- more that I'm fairly sure have never appeared in film. But GENERALLY, I approve more of these film versions than I did of my Boy list's film versions.
1. Anne Shirley (L.M. Montgomery) --ANNE. I should not have to say anything about this. Over the past century, many authors have tried to copy the awesomeness of Anne by making spunky, imaginative heroines who are always getting into scrapes and most likely even have red hair, but they just haven't got the same results. SHE CANNOT BE COPIED. There is only one.
2. Blossom Culp (Richard Peck) --Really, if you have not met Blossom Culp yet, please go do so. Mostly because she was my imaginary friend in middle school. She's also clever and funny, has a great mind for pranks, lots of fight for justice, and also is psychic. Everybody needs to be psychic.
3. Sophie Hatter (Diana Wynne Jones) --One of the best things about Sophie is she STARTS OUT very much like me-- the hero calls her a mouse when they first meet-- but, upon getting cursed into being an old woman, she just up and decides "HECK WITH IT, I'M OLD AND CRANKY AND I HEREBY GIVE UP ALL MY INHIBITIONS!" and becomes Awesome. NO ONE CROSSES SOPHIE. What's great is she holds on to this strength of character even after she ditches the curse. Now, if only I could manage to dump all my inhibitions, hopefully without getting cursed first.
4. Miss Penelope Lumley (Maryrose Wood) --Hey, I think my newest edition was number 4 on the LAST list, too! Although I have only read one book about her, and that only once, Miss Lumley left SUCH an impression on me with her complete no-nonsense awesomeness that I hereby pronounce her all the way up here. She proves you don't have to be swashbuckling and gender-bending to be awesome; you can, in fact, be a proper Victorian young lady, trained in all the niceties of life, and just generally brilliant and commanding of respect. AND YOU WILL BE AWESOME.
5. Luna Lovegood (J.K. Rowling) -- You know, when I first got to the chapter entitled "Luna Lovegood" I initially thought, "Oh, come on, Jo, do you really need to be bringing in all these new characters NOW, five books in?... oh, wait. Wow. Luna is ... SO... COOL." I love that she's got super-long dirty blonde hair and a vague expression-- "Oh, she looks like me!" I say, and then as I get to know her, and love every off-the-wall wonderful thing she says, I say, "If I was 10 (at the time I first read OotP) years younger and British, I would SOOO BE TRYING OUT FOR THIS PART IN THE MOVIES!" I do love whatsherfacewhosenameIcan'tthinkofrightnow, and granted she's better than I would have been, but seriously HOW MUCH FUN WOULD IT BE to play Luna!
6. Alice ...Liddell, if you want to bring your literary-history knowledge into play (Lewis Carroll) --My biggest beef with the Disney cartoon movie is the sweetening-up of Alice. Alice is not sweet and gentle and polite! She has no patience, sticks her nose into everyone else's business, interrupts regularly, and, lest we forget, is Awesome. Her determination and insistence on logic and ability to keep up -- as much as anyone can-- with characters talking ones ears off with nonsense is what makes her come ALIVE nearly a century and a half later.
7. Miss Jenny Honey (Roald Dahl) -- Okay, Miss Honey is not particularly brave-- actually, she needs a kindergartener to teach her to stand up for herself-- but that doesn't stop her from being Someone I Want to Be. I wanted to absolutely BE Miss Honey when I grew up. Maybe with a bit more money, and minus the domineering aunt. She's loving and patient and a brilliant teacher, and completely selfless in her vocation. Now that I've had the chance to BE a teacher, and failed at it, I admire her all the more, because I know what it takes for a quiet, gentle person to command respect-- a particular With-It-ness, a presence, a bit of Awesomeness, and Miss Honey's got it.
8. Elizabeth Bennett (Jane Austen) --I suppose I can't ACTUALLY claim to love her because she always knows immediately what to say, because she takes it to the other extreme occasionally, saying things she maybe ought to have thought about first. But when you're like me, that still comes across as Awesome. If I could only be so witty of tongue!
9. Eowyn, daughter of Eomund, shieldmaiden of Rohan (J.R.R. Tolkien) -- Because seriously, she's the ONLY interesting, well-rounded female in the ENTIRE THREE-VOLUME EPIC MASTERPIECE (FOUR volumes if you throw in The Hobbit, which is pretty much missing females entirely). You have to root for her for that alone. And she is completely kick-butt, and yet feminine enough to get completely lovestruck over the wrong guy. Slaying nazgul all the while. Because she can handle it.
10. Kristy Thomas (Ann M. Martin) --My first Babysitters' Club book was a Mary Anne book, which was good because she was shy like me-- and I think I found Kristy, on the other hand, a bit intimidating. But the MORE I read, the more I got to know Kristy's insecurities, and THEN I realized, YES, WHY CAN'T I BE HER. WHY can't I put up a tough exterior? WHY can't I be a natural leader? WHY can't I jump into new situations without thinking? WHY can't I DO something with it every time I have a brilliant idea? So yeah, I know I haven't read a Babysitters' Club book for going on twenty years now, but that doesn't take away the high esteem I've held her in in my life. On the other hand, I haven't read a Babysitter's Club book for going on twenty years, so... dangit, the boys' list got a bonus one when I got wishy-washy about number 10, so I'll pull up another bonus one for the girls' list, too:
10+1. Eddis, Queen, formerly (and informALly) known as Helen (Megan Whalen Turner) -- because she is absolutely everything a ruler ought to be: intelligent, wise, just, authoritative (and intimidating when necessary), and with a sense of humor. And not a tyrannical psychopath like her friend the next kingdom over.
Honorable Mention: Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins. Cheating I guess, but she WAS originally a book character, it's just that it is VERY CLEARLY JULIE ANDREWS as Mary Poppins whom I girl-crush on. I mean think about this people: they gave the Best Actress Oscar to a relative unknown in her FIRST MOVIE EVER, and it was a FAMILY/KIDS' movie, and she was up against Audrey Hepburn in a role everyone ASSUMED would be the actual winner-- the chances of this happening are very low when typed out like that, but when you actually WATCH her... WOW. Julie Andrews is a goddess. I'm just saying.
--
*Or no one's demand, really, but it did come up in the comments a few times.
**Not DIRECT counterparts, ie, no matching couples. Well, TWO matching couples, but they don't even appear at the same points on the list. I just mean, that's the boys' list, this is the girls' list.