Oh its better t0 rush upon this blade, Than give into the fear in your heart
im so done with this..so fucking done...
i dont care how much i like him it doesn't matter anymore
and i want people to just stop mentioning him around me winking at me making me think that we'd have a chance. im absolutly sick of it im sick of wanting people i cant have and im sick of people who are generally sweet liking me who i will never return the affection for. im sorry i must be a bitch but i only truely like one boy who doesn't even care for me. Now i kno how sam feels..mebbe we should make a club..how depressing..and how can Sam relieze everything and you cant! i mean you guys are friends! why cant you just get a clue!! Im just so sick of everything i dont even want to be around them anymore. i dont know, how can everyone else in the world call me pretty or beautiful and to him im invisable and dont even matter? how the hell is that possible. Today meagan says its so cute how many guys like you...yea i mean thats nice and all i appriate it..im not gonna lie but im not quite sure why anyone would like me so much because im ugly and dumb and have no clue wht im doing but whatever none of that even matters to me those people dont even matter to me like that because all i can think about is him and how i'll never be anything more to him then a friend.
its driving me crazy
and i want this feeling to stop
i must have been fucking retarded to believe that there was such a thing as true romance. fuck that. or the fact that mebbe we could me more then friends.. yea it hurts, especially when Sam says yeaa i could definitely see you too together..i couldn't stop smiling when he said that..he was clearly wrong and that just hurts more. so please i dont want anyone to make up false accusations like OMG u guys = soo cute or yea he likes you..im not completely stupid i know when theres no chance. im done
p.s i definitely realized that im a really jealous person.
yea college party tonite..
idk if im going yet
mebbe i will...it shall be fun.