I promised I would get a review/recap up before the weekend was over, and I am a woman of her word, so here it is.
Alright, so last Thursday, there was a rager. Not just any rager, an OC rager. So you know there were debaucherous goings on there.
I can't say I really remember that much from the episode, even though I watched it on Friday, but here goes:
Ryan is pissed at Trey because of the whole "Risky Business" business. He's like "I spit on Trey," and he's all proud and whatnot. Sandy tells him to go and talk to him, blah blah blah. I don't know, I don't really care that much about this storyline. I say bring Ryan's dad in from up the river--that should be great when his dad gets released from the slammer. Then, once Marissa hooks up with him, it'll be like a trifecta of Atwood men. Ryan and Marissa are talking about the whole Trey thing, and he's like blowing up on her for helping Trey. She's all like, well he's better looking than you anyway, and he's probably younger. But they have a row, so Ryan probably won't be getting any anytime soon.
Seth and Zach are talking about their comic book and how they have a meeting with Reed, Carter's assistant. Summer comes in, and she wants nothing to do with the comic book. She is basically saying, anything that interests you, does not interest me, so don't bother me with it. That's real supportive Summer, you win Girlfriend of the Year. However, I don't really blame her because:
Seth was a douchebag in this episode--I mean, at least in the last episode they game him some funny things to say, this one he looked/acted like a jerk/pussy. He and Zach Attack meet up with "Reed," Carter's assistant who is a hot 23 year old played by Marguerite Moreau aka "Hot teacher" from Life As We Know It aka "Connie" from the Mighty Ducks. Of course, when Reed takes a liking to Zach, Seth freaks out and has to have what everyone else has and he can't be happy with the girl he already stole from Zach. Poor Zach Attack, he can't win with this kid, Seth is totally cramping his style.
Marissa talks about girlfriends having to be supportive to their men (okay, Tammy Wynette) and Summer re-evaluates her stance as the unknowing, uncaring gf. So now, she's all up in Seth's bidness, wanting to know all about his meeting with Reed. Of couse, Seth does not let on that Reed is a girl. Bad times for you in the future, Seth.
Newport Living HeadQuarters: Kirsten and Carter have just put out the first issue: and there's no Julie on the cover, just a generic beach scene. Carter has more to worry about since a sleezy politician has served him with a libel suit because his article made him less than desirable. He asks Kirsten if Sandy would be willing to help out. Kirsten sort of poo-poos the idea, but Carter is all about the Sand man. Kirsten is hesitant because she wants to have Carter babies, but she allows it anyway. She's just afraid of what Julie will say/do/kill when she finds out that she's not on the cover--and well look who shows up: Julie Cooper herself. YAY, she's back! Julie tells Kirsten that she did the right thing by taking her off--they don't want to piss off the advertisers and corporate backers...this doesn't sound like Julie. Caleb probably had her brainwashed in Italy. He's still there, and Julie is in a great mood for someone who has been the brunt of all of the OC gossip.
Carter goes to visit Sandy, who is making tables out of surfboards. Sandy is happy to help him with his lawsuit, and Carter asks if he would be willing to teach him how to surf, too. Hmm, Kirsten ain't going to like that. Of course, Sandy says yes because the more time Carter spends with him, the more likely gay subtones will arise less time Kirsten will have with him.
Julie's back in casa de Caleb. She warms up to Marissa, wanting to go to dinner and such when she gets a phone call. Hmm, who could it be? Lance, the ex-boyfriend is back, and there's going to be trouble. Hey-la hey-la her boyfriend's back. Julie's got an antique revolver and she takes it out of the box and it's obvious that she plans on using it, or else this is a useless scene.
Seth is having a meeting with Reed, and he didn't tell Zach about it. Because he's selfish. And a prick. "Do you get a gay vibe from Zach, because I do..." Come on, he's totally cock blocking and he's already got the girl. What is Summer, chopped liver? Well, sorry to say, in this episode--she wasn't really herself, nor did she look that great. The wardrobe people messed Rachel Bilson up--I want my cute Summer back, not some MK Olsen bag lady look alike.
Ryan feels sort of bad for telling Trey off, but he still doesn't believe him. He and Seth go over to the apartment, where they see Trey getting into a shady Camaro, which is redundant to say anyway, and they go to a backalley way and give a shady, hairy man money. They buyin' las drogas! Ryan is disgusted, so he confronts him the next day. He goes to Trey's apartment and basically tells him what they saw, and Trey whines, "Why don't you call my parole officers, that's whose car it was. And we were giving an old friend from jail some money, what am I going to do, they guy asked me for $5 bucks?" "Here I thought my baby brother was coming to wish me happy birthday..." Whine, whine, whine. He and Marissa are perfect for each other. Door slams in Ryan's face.
Sandy is teaching Carter to surf. Sandy is a lot shorter than Carter. They run into a hot friend of Sandy's, Erica--who happens to be an orthopedist. She surfs between rounds--how typical. I guess she's a regular Doogie Howser because she looks about 30, and if you're going to be an orthopedist, that's like an extra 12 years of schooling in addition to the 4 years of college and 4 years of med school. So, she must have entered college when she was 10. I'm just saying. Her nose is jacked up--don't go for it Carter, you can do better. They flirt a little bit, and the wheels start turning in Sandy's head. Later he'll bring it up to Kirsten, who doesn't like that at all. Because she wants to have Carter babies.
Ryan enlists Marissa's help to get Trey to forgive him because he was wrong. He apologizes to her, and she comes up with a great idea--'let's throw Trey, a guy I hardly know but know that he's shady and has been in and out of jail throughout his young life, a party to celebrate his 21st birthday!' Good job, Marissa--I'm sure nothing will go wrong at all. This girl's a genius. So, Julie is off in a hurry, so she tells Marissa not to go overboard. What, Marissa Cooper? NO way, you've got to be kidding.
She had to take him down easy
And put a bullet in his brain
She said 'cause nobody believes me
The man was such a sleeze
He ain't never gonna be the same
Julie's got a gun...
She goes to see Lance, pulls out the gun, as he begs for his life. She pulls the trigger, and surprise, surprise, no bullets. "I wanted to make you feel as if your life were being taken away from you." She tells him that he's ruined what she's been working 20 years for, that her daughters are going to find out and she'll never be able to have a normal life again, and that Caleb thinks she's a whore. Which he sorta knew before he got into the relationship with her, but now it's confirmed. Lance tells her that he wouldn't have done it had Caleb just given him the money. She's all, come again? Caleb took back the money, and then had him beaten up, and, "you know how I get when I think I'm being cheated." Julie: "Yeah, I remember." Shit, he beat her too? Why do you do this to yourself, JCoop? Well, I mean, I think we know that it stems from her childhood, but that's probably another storyline for another time. Right now Whitesnake is playing in the background--that's pretty tight. She's shell-shocked, she can't believe that Caleb would betray her that way. Lance offers to off him for good. Okay, that's pretty weird. He must still have it hard for her, for him to just waltz back in and offer to kill her husband. She's not going back to you Lance, she'll just find some unsuspecting Newport Beach citizen who is like 90, and wait for him to die, so she can then date water polo players from the local high school, only to cheat on him with her ex husband. But being that Julie Cooper is who she is, she ponders this idea. And that's why we love her for it.
A few kids are milling about at this party, and it's pretty tame. Then the doorbell rings and a barrage of kids come in, whooping and yelling. That is NOT how it's done in Orange County. I have neve once seen people scream "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" as they walk/run into a party. That's just trying too hard. Some water polo players are beating up on Seth because he was probably running his mouth again. Trey totally chokes one of the guys, and scares the shit out of the others. "Hey, don't hurt me, I've got a game tomorrow!" What a pussy.
Julie and Lance are at a bar, dancing to Poison's "Every Rose has it's Thorn" which is my least favorite Poison song. Just like every cowboy, sings a sad, sad song. Every rose has it's thorn. I love "Talk Dirty to Me" because that song rules. "Unskinny Bop" is good too. I love hair bands. I am from Anaheim, so I guess that makes sense. They're reminiscing about the old times and how Lance was devastated when Julie fell for Jimmy Cooper and left town. I thought this storyline was over. Why do we like Lance now? He's still a skeezy 909er.
Kirsten, Sandy, Erica, and Carter are having dinner. Kirsten looks so uncomfortable it's not even funny. Carter really likes Erica and vice versa. Sandy has a shit eating grin on his face.
Trey's having a pretty good time, as this girl named Jess comes up to him and flirts with him and pretty much sticks her hands down his pants. They go into the bedroom where she's all, "It's time to open your present." Who wrote that line? That was seriously cheesy.
The party is getting really out of control, as Marissa opens her bedroom and finds a threesome going on in her bed. We also see shots of cocaine, bongs, girls grinding on each other, boys grinding on each other, other things that are the norm for OC. shurgs. You know. So after the people leave her bed, she and Ryan hop onto it-EWW. That's gross. Think of all the different bodily fluids that have been on there. No don't, that's sick.
Zach brings Reed to the party and Seth is jealous. Zach is pissed at Seth because he told Reed he was gay. And he should be, that's a pretty big deal I guess. Summer and Reed meet up in the bathroom. Reed asks Summer if she knows who "Little Mixx Vixen" is because she looks just like her, and Summer's like SHIT, Reed's a she! She beats up on Seth, so now Seth's SOL. She gets a ride home with Zach and Reed, so she ends up cunt blocking them too. Good move, Summer.
We hear a scream! Uh-oh. Jess is face down in the pool, and Seth jumps into the pool to save her. How heroic. Marissa and Ryan are freaking out, as they are pulling her lifeless like body out of the pool. Trey comes running in all worried, and Ryan is like good grief, what have you done.
Sandy and crew are having dinner when he gets the phone call from the kids. He and Carter high-tail it out of there, leaving Kirsten and Erica. Kirsten warns Erica about Carter's messy divorce and Erica's all it's no big deal. She likes him, and she appreciates that she cares enough to warn her, but she can deal with it. Erica isn't stupid Kirsten, she graduated college when she was 5 years old. She knows you like him, don't try to front it like you don't.
Sandy gets to the scene of the party when we find out that Jess OD'ed on some ecstasy. They found a whole bag of it. It was probably laced with PCP or something because MDMA shouldn't really do that to you. Why would you give that to her anyway, she was already horny as eff, so she didn't really need it, unless she wanted to heighten her experience and have a few holes in her brain as souvenirs. Sandy's all "I'm responsible for these four." Marissa explains that Julie isn't home and that Caleb is out of the country, so they start to arrest her, charging her with drug possession or something. Trey steps up and says, "No, I gave the girl the drugs." How noble of you, Trey. So they cuff him and Sandy warns him not to say anything until he gets to the precinct. Ryan looks hurt and shocked. End scene.
Next week on the OC: Caleb is probably going to serve Julie with a divorce. Sandy and Trey are preparing Trey's defense, but now he's changing his tune, saying that "no, he didn't give Jess the ecstasy." Stop trying to cover for Marissa, Trey. Zach and Seth have a meeting at Reed's Silver Lake "pad" (their words, not mine) where they find out that Reed wants to make a few changes. Summer attends a party at said "pad" that is for the launch of "Atomic County." Carter and Kirsten attend a wine tasting party, then afterwards Carter asks Kirsten to take a shower with him. What? Yeah, I have no idea what that is about either.
Music on this week's episode: The Rager
Stop Dragging Me Down by The Obscurities
Under The Milky Way by The Church
Decent Days and Nights by The Futureheads
Technologic by Daft Punk (great song)
Here I Go Again by Whitesnake (with a video featuring current Newport Beach resident/stabber of husband with her stiletto Tawny Kitaen)
Daft Punk Is Playing At My House by LCD Soundsystem (another great song)
Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison (not their best song, but I appreciate the fact that Poison was used--omgz I <3333 you Bret/Cece/Rikki/Bobby)
Mi Casa by Beat Phreaks
Melt by Way Out West
Pictures of Kelly, Peter, Samaire, Ben, Shannon, Olivia at various appearances. Also 2 pictures of Marguerite Moreau (Reed), who was the teacher on "Life as we know it" (I miss you Sean Faris) as well as Connie from the Mighty ducks.
Kelly at the Ferragamo celebrity handbag event
Peter at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences Celebrity Golf Classic
Olivia at the Lakers Casino night with husband Tao.
Ben at the Leukemia/Lymphoma Rock N Bowl
Shannon Lucio at the premiere of Sahara
Samaire at the party for Toshiba's new Mp3 player.
Some old pictures of Marguerite Moreau (Reed)
---
Mischa is on the cover of this month's Glamour magazine--and she looks so cute on the cover:
An interesting anecdote: Mischa's younger sister, Hania, wants to be a rockstar? Apparently Hania is into hardcore rawk, and she loves Dylan, the Stones etc. I say good luck to her, so she doesn't become the next Haylie Duff.
---
Only 48 days until "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" comes out!