One more entry before bed...

[rocksteadylife]

I've mentioned it a few times, and maybe I hide it pretty well, but depression has overtaken me lately, and it only seems to be getting worse. Everytime I think I'm starting to get better, bam! it's back. I think I just have a good day here or there, and then I think things are okay again. Part of my problem, is that I'm really really hard on

Comments

[jeffers_lj]

I've said it before, and one more time - loyalty and dedication to friends, to projects, to lots of things.

You may not realise it, but it is true.

I will always remember summer nights on the balcony at the loft, long conversations about ourselves, life, and how we feel about any and everything. I'll always remember our stumbling around town drunk off our asses, off on missions to buy cigarettes and running into homeless crackheads named Betty. I'll always remember you telling off the phone company and spending god knows how long and who knows how much to give me a call when I was in London and you just wanted to talk.

We haven't seen much of each other lately and that sucks. I only have hope for better days ahead and more time for my friends who have been neglected.

Matt, you mean a lot to me, and while I might not always show it, you're a special part of my life.

In an IM from Cayna:

[rocksteadylife]

leiaCC4483: youre hot

Auto response from MatthieuCohen: Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say
"Pride will tear us both apart"
Well now pride's gone out the window cross the rooftops, run away,
Left me in the vacuum of my heart.
What is happening to me?
Crazy, some'd say,
Where is my friend when I need you most?
Gone away...

Chorus:
But I won't cry for yesterday, there's an ordinary world,
Somehow I have to find.
And as I try to make my way, to the ordinary world...
I will learn to survive

leiaCC4483: youre a great dancer
leiaCC4483: youre thoroughly competent
leiaCC4483 signed off at 2:19:37 AM.

Since you asked.

[bipsterite]

Stranger passing through. Ann Arbor being the small-world cramped bastion of near-creepiness that it is, I've seen a picture of you holding a little sister or cousin or some such tyke. Both of you seemed perfectly happy -- perhaps elated -- in that snapshot-moment ... I'm naive, but I read no insincerity there. Greater point being: I think you should take all the things that truly matter to you -- and I'm sure you know by now what those things are -- and use only those as your fundamental source of happiness/contentment. For example, I consider being able to usefully connect with a child to be truly useful to a human being, as opposed to being, for example, a world-renowned concert-pianist. Let the concert-pianist thing be a possible bonus to your life, not a requirement. The fundamental stuff hardly ever changes, so you'd be set for life.

you rock my starbucks world

[anonymous]

Heeeeey Matt. It makes me sad that you are unhappy. I wanted to tell you that although we are not the best of friends, not seeing you every now and then makes me sad too. Usually, I must get to know someone quite a bit and hang out with them more for them to be someone I "miss." So, you should feel good about that - mainly b/c you are the kind of person that when around, it's just more fun. When someone is in deprivation of the lovely "Matt" character, they are definitely at a loss of humor, sarcasm, the "i don't give a shit cuz I rule" mindset and just a loss of an overall cool person. I hope you know that...you made starbucks fun for me (when you weren't on a Starbucks "Shift" tirade - LOL)

Anyway, hopefully I'll run into you one of these days...

Nilu