Reminisce (Prologue/??)
Title: Reminisce
# of chapters: multishot
Word Count: xx
Pairing: KrisHan (main) | HunHan (broken) | ChanHun (side)
Bands: EXO
Rating: PG
Warning: xx
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.
Prompt: xx
PDF Download Link: xx
Summary: Loving was for fools and a fool he had, and would always be.
A/N: cross-posted on AFF
Links:
ChanHun main story: Sanctuary - AFF | LJ
KaiSoo main story: Reminisce - AFF | LJ
Chanhun Christmas oneshot: Miracles in December - AFF | LJ
ChanLay Christmas oneshot: First Snow - AFF | LJ
Prologue: Closure
The sky was blue. The breeze was a little too chilly for his liking yet the way it caressed his cheeks was making his lips curve into an obnoxious smile. It was uncalled for yet everything that had happened to him in the past few years would certainly fall in the same category - uncalled for and obnoxious. If he could just turn back time, he would. He would undo meeting people that he treasured above everything else. He would undo meeting the person that would offer him his life. He would undo meeting another person that almost threw his life for him. He would undo falling in love, twice yet it was already given that the world would never even glimpse at the petty miseries of the useless person he was. He would undo everything, even his own life. If only he could.
Another step was taken another breeze touched his cheeks, making his whole body shiver. The streets of Gangnam had always been filled with people yet he couldn’t seem to care about how he had been constantly bumping into different sort of things - people and posts to be exact. His mind had been roaming, wandering around thoughts he tried to run away from all his life yet had always been catching up to him, making him almost a tiny bit close to being incoherent . Perhaps it was the lack of nourishment in his body. He hadn’t really eaten anything in the past few days. Perhaps it was dehydration. Perhaps it was exhaustion. Or perhaps it was just the broken heart.
“Definitely the broken heart.” He murmured as his obnoxious smile slowly turned into a bitter smirk.
How many broken hearts could a normal person actually have in a span of five years? Definitely not as much as he had, but then again, Luhan never considered himself as a normal person. His fate had been decided the moment he was conceived yet he never really expected that his fate would include too much tears and broken hearts. He had loved and lost too much.
Loving was for fools and a fool he had, and would always be.
The sky was still blue and the breeze was still chilly, as Luhan’s eyes slowly wavered towards the pool of people ahead of him, wishing that he would see a familiar face he had once lost yet never forgotten. Wishing had never been his forte but what else could he do when the universe had seem to turn its back against him? He wished too much and always got too little. What had he done in his past life to deserve such thing? Or maybe it wasn’t in his past life, maybe it was the current. The life he had once thought he already left behind him. The life he had once thought he already forgotten when he left his motherland. The life he had been running away from. The life he thought had died along his heart a long time ago.
The cold, winter breeze kissed his skin once more as his head suddenly felt a little too light and his vision a little too cloudy. Perhaps it really was the lack of food, or dehydration, or exhaustion, or even the cold but he was more than sure that it was the broken heart. He could almost hear its pieces clatter in his chest as his body slowly fell on the ground, consciousness slowly fleeting along with the tears that had been freely rolling down his cheek.
*****
Kris Wu. Wu Yi Fan. Kevin Li. Whatever. He had gone with way too many names, most almost too close to being forgotten yet the memories attached to each would never fade away. If he could just turn back time, he would undo all the mistakes he committed - starting from meeting the only person that made his heart fall, only to let completely plummet down an endless pit of obscurity, glittered by sadness and regrets. But who could be blame? Was there even anybody? Anything? Should he blame that one person that made him cross the line he had drawn a long time ago and fall in love? Should he blame the world for letting him fall? Should he blame fate for letting him fall all the way down, and let his heart shatter along the way? Or should he just blame himself for choosing a path he never once thought of crossing? He wished he knew, he really he wish he did. But wishing was for fools. He wished too much and always got too little.
The sky was blue and the breeze was a little too chilly for his liking. The collar of his black, leather jacket was pulled up to shield half of his face from the cold. Winter in Korea was harsh yet the coldness was not as cruel as feeling the littered pieces of his broken heart clatter inside his whole being. Yet he knew that feelings should always be irrelevant, unimportant.
Who was he kidding?
“Unimportant my ass.” He chuckled as he shoved his hands in his pockets.
Emotions had taken over him a long time ago. It was a mistake he would never regret yet he would always wish he could have done differently.
How many lies and mistakes could a normal person commit in a span of five years? Definitely not as much as he had yet Kris had never really considered himself as normal - not when he was created to be different from everybody else. His fate had been decided for him even before he was conceived; he was a prisoner of their family business. He never really expected that any form of escape would all just end towards a path leading to an infinite trench of dysphoria. It was a mistake that he chose to love and just lost.
Loving was for fools and a fool he would be for the only person that managed to crash into the walls he created.
“Are you really sure you’re just going to leave like this?” Hearing his native language in the midst of a foreign land seemed a little too eerie yet a little too comfortable. “You don’t have to, you know? He’ll understand. You know he would. He knows the rules of this world better than any of us.”
“I’m aware.” A bitter smile crept up his lip as he watched the clouds dance up the bright blue sky. “But he had enough of this life. I don’t want to drag him back into this. He had lost too much.”
“But Kris-“
“Yixing. I don’t need another lecture. Zhou Mi already almost pulled my hair out when I told him that I’m flying back to China. Zitao is already there anyway.”
“I believe you’re also aware that he will definitely murder you with his bare hands, no matter how much he loves you, once he finds out that you brought Zitao into this.”
Kris chuckled at his old colleague’s comment. Yixing had always been a man of few words yet the younger had always known what to say - whether it was in an appropriate moment or not. Perhaps it was just him, and his inability to choose the right words nor the right actions when it came to anything related to emotions. It was almost like being trapped behind bars created by his own fears and inhibitions. He would choose incapability to deal with emotions as an excuse yet he had always known it was just him and his naiveté in the said field.
“Luhan will get over it. He’s not as fragile as he looks.” He sighed, drawing his attention from the sky to the bracelet hugging his left wrist. “He’s probably stronger than any of us.”
Yixing just flashed his dimpled smile, eyes void of emotions. “But you also know that he would break if you didn’t come back. You had seen him the last time.” A sigh was heard. “And this time there is no Sehun to fix him Yi Fan. He gave up his freedom for you once, and recently, his happiness. It’s just either you or nothing. It’s all or nothing.”
The sound of his real name rang inside Kris’ head, yet the mention of the younger Korean male pierced through his heart. He might have got his love back but he had always known that he would never come first again, not when somebody else had already took the spot he once held. It was another mistake he would wish to correct yet it was already given that wishing was for fools. It was just either him or nothing.
“Also Zitao just texted me and told me that he’s bailing out on you and that he’s flying back to Seoul tomorrow because Luhan is at the hospital.”
Yixing just patted his shoulder before giving him a sly smile and disappearing into the pool of people buzzing at the entrance Incheon airport. It didn’t take Kris a split second before he found himself sprinting out of the building and stealing a cab from a middle aged man.
“Emergency room. Room 320.” Said the message that was sent to his personal mobile phone.
*****
Luhan’s eyelids fluttered opened and he almost jumped when his eyes weren’t met by the beautiful blue sky. The view looked very plain and very white - a ceiling he concluded. The air smelled stale and thick, yet clean, almost too close to the smell of antiseptics. The walls were painted a painful shade of light green that reminded him of elementary school where the girls used to wear skirts of the same shade. Luhan never liked elementary school. He thought it was full of false hopes and bliss, and broken promises. The shade also reminded him of hospitals.
Oh
He was in a hospital ward, with hospital gown, IV drip and everything. He must have passed out while he was taking a walk down Gangnam to get some fresh air. It was quite inevitable since neither food, drink nor sleep had been catching his attention lately - he was actually quite surprised it didn’t come sooner than he expected. Perhaps it was the training he had once gone through or perhaps just the lack of significance of anything around him.
How many losses could a normal person could have in a span of five years? Luhan really didn’t want to ask anymore, it was already specified that he was not to be considered normal yet he couldn’t deny the fact that he had been losing too much and gaining too little. Perhaps it was part of the fate that had been predetermined for him.
“Luhan.”
A familiar voice echoed inside his head - a hallucination perhaps. The owner of the voice had been long gone, probably even sporting a huge chunk of anger towards him. It was quite sad really, losing the only person that genuinely cared for him and offered him his everything but the parting was inevitable. He would rather have them both trapped in a heartbreak than lifeless.
“Luhan.”
Luhan chuckled at the mention of his name.
“Luhan-hyung. Are you okay?”
“Sehunnie?”
Just when he thought he had already lost everything, there was a false spark of hope waltz into his life once more. Just when he thought he could get over things as quick as he thought he could, a long, almost forgotten feeling came crashing down him once more. It was almost like that spring night a year ago when he caught a familiar, tall figure watching him from the sea of people in the middle of the Myeongdong district.
“Yes. Are you okay? How are you feeling?” The younger took the empty seat right by the bed and watched him with wary eyes. “Please don’t make me ask again. I can’t really stay long.”
A sad smile curved Luhan’s lips.
“He doesn’t know you’re here, does he?”
“Nope.” Sehun sighed, glancing at the lanky figure trapped in his hospital bed and IV drip. It was quite devastating - the bags under the used-to-be bright eyes, the bluish lips and the pale complexion - yet the pain the he expected to dawn on him once he saw his old love never came. “Now answer the question before Zitao takes back the offer to buy me a year and a half supply of bubble tea.”
Luhan almost chuckled at the sound of his already broken heart crushing into even smaller pieces. He had always known that he was never going to be the first in Sehun’s heart yet the younger had always cared for him more than anybody else did and Luhan couldn’t seem to ignore the fact that he was quickly falling for the boy. It was almost perfect while it lasted, yet fate had always had this huge grudge against him. The romance started and ended too quickly. It was choice, a sacrifice - to keep the person he treasured the most, safe.
However, things might have changed along with time. Treasured feelings faded into memories and were replaced by what once he thought was long gone.
“I’m fine Sehun. You can go tell Zitao that so you can go home.” Luhan smiled, a genuine one. “You shouldn’t keep him waiting. He had been waiting for too long. Chanyeol is a really good person. I know he’s going to take good care you. He had always been. He loves you more than anybody else ever can.”
The younger smiled back. “I know hyung. I know but I have a small favor to ask.”
“Mmm?”
“I just want to prove something. You probably need this too.”
“What-“
He was cut off by the younger’s lips pressed on his. It brought up familiar feelings yet not as intense as it was. It reminded him of old memories and forgotten emotions he had been trying to bury inside him. It brought emotions that had already been replaced by older ones. It was confusing and the only thing clear in his mind was that the feeling wasn’t right, not anymore.
He started chuckling.
The younger was right, it was exactly what they both needed - closure.
“Yeah this is not working.”
“Yeah it’s not.” Sehun smiled back at him.
“It looked at lot like it was.” The same familiar, tall figure that was watching him a year ago in the middle Myeongdong materialized behind Sehun. “I guess I’m not needed here.”
*****
A/N: a spin-off to Sanctuary (ChanHun) and Forgotten (KaiSoo). It's not required to read them before this one tho I suggest reading Sanctuary first, it would help a lot in grasping what happened with HunHan. Also I know the prologue's a little weird, I will supply more details in the next chapters tho I will not really update until I finish my KaiSoo arc so please be patient with me.
The prologue kind of sucks tbh. I'm kind of trying this writing exercise thingy I found: John Gardner Killer Exercise and I obviously failed miserably. I am sorry. I will make up to you with the next chapters. I promise.
And lastly, for the readers that had been with me since Sanctuary, I hope this answered all the questions about why HunHan kissed. It didnt go as smooth as I had it in my head but whatever right? lol
xoxo - rin
>>
# of chapters: multishot
Word Count: xx
Pairing: KrisHan (main) | HunHan (broken) | ChanHun (side)
Bands: EXO
Rating: PG
Warning: xx
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.
Prompt: xx
PDF Download Link: xx
Summary: Loving was for fools and a fool he had, and would always be.
A/N: cross-posted on AFF
Links:
ChanHun main story: Sanctuary - AFF | LJ
KaiSoo main story: Reminisce - AFF | LJ
Chanhun Christmas oneshot: Miracles in December - AFF | LJ
ChanLay Christmas oneshot: First Snow - AFF | LJ
Prologue: Closure
The sky was blue. The breeze was a little too chilly for his liking yet the way it caressed his cheeks was making his lips curve into an obnoxious smile. It was uncalled for yet everything that had happened to him in the past few years would certainly fall in the same category - uncalled for and obnoxious. If he could just turn back time, he would. He would undo meeting people that he treasured above everything else. He would undo meeting the person that would offer him his life. He would undo meeting another person that almost threw his life for him. He would undo falling in love, twice yet it was already given that the world would never even glimpse at the petty miseries of the useless person he was. He would undo everything, even his own life. If only he could.
Another step was taken another breeze touched his cheeks, making his whole body shiver. The streets of Gangnam had always been filled with people yet he couldn’t seem to care about how he had been constantly bumping into different sort of things - people and posts to be exact. His mind had been roaming, wandering around thoughts he tried to run away from all his life yet had always been catching up to him, making him almost a tiny bit close to being incoherent . Perhaps it was the lack of nourishment in his body. He hadn’t really eaten anything in the past few days. Perhaps it was dehydration. Perhaps it was exhaustion. Or perhaps it was just the broken heart.
“Definitely the broken heart.” He murmured as his obnoxious smile slowly turned into a bitter smirk.
How many broken hearts could a normal person actually have in a span of five years? Definitely not as much as he had, but then again, Luhan never considered himself as a normal person. His fate had been decided the moment he was conceived yet he never really expected that his fate would include too much tears and broken hearts. He had loved and lost too much.
Loving was for fools and a fool he had, and would always be.
The sky was still blue and the breeze was still chilly, as Luhan’s eyes slowly wavered towards the pool of people ahead of him, wishing that he would see a familiar face he had once lost yet never forgotten. Wishing had never been his forte but what else could he do when the universe had seem to turn its back against him? He wished too much and always got too little. What had he done in his past life to deserve such thing? Or maybe it wasn’t in his past life, maybe it was the current. The life he had once thought he already left behind him. The life he had once thought he already forgotten when he left his motherland. The life he had been running away from. The life he thought had died along his heart a long time ago.
The cold, winter breeze kissed his skin once more as his head suddenly felt a little too light and his vision a little too cloudy. Perhaps it really was the lack of food, or dehydration, or exhaustion, or even the cold but he was more than sure that it was the broken heart. He could almost hear its pieces clatter in his chest as his body slowly fell on the ground, consciousness slowly fleeting along with the tears that had been freely rolling down his cheek.
*****
Kris Wu. Wu Yi Fan. Kevin Li. Whatever. He had gone with way too many names, most almost too close to being forgotten yet the memories attached to each would never fade away. If he could just turn back time, he would undo all the mistakes he committed - starting from meeting the only person that made his heart fall, only to let completely plummet down an endless pit of obscurity, glittered by sadness and regrets. But who could be blame? Was there even anybody? Anything? Should he blame that one person that made him cross the line he had drawn a long time ago and fall in love? Should he blame the world for letting him fall? Should he blame fate for letting him fall all the way down, and let his heart shatter along the way? Or should he just blame himself for choosing a path he never once thought of crossing? He wished he knew, he really he wish he did. But wishing was for fools. He wished too much and always got too little.
The sky was blue and the breeze was a little too chilly for his liking. The collar of his black, leather jacket was pulled up to shield half of his face from the cold. Winter in Korea was harsh yet the coldness was not as cruel as feeling the littered pieces of his broken heart clatter inside his whole being. Yet he knew that feelings should always be irrelevant, unimportant.
Who was he kidding?
“Unimportant my ass.” He chuckled as he shoved his hands in his pockets.
Emotions had taken over him a long time ago. It was a mistake he would never regret yet he would always wish he could have done differently.
How many lies and mistakes could a normal person commit in a span of five years? Definitely not as much as he had yet Kris had never really considered himself as normal - not when he was created to be different from everybody else. His fate had been decided for him even before he was conceived; he was a prisoner of their family business. He never really expected that any form of escape would all just end towards a path leading to an infinite trench of dysphoria. It was a mistake that he chose to love and just lost.
Loving was for fools and a fool he would be for the only person that managed to crash into the walls he created.
“Are you really sure you’re just going to leave like this?” Hearing his native language in the midst of a foreign land seemed a little too eerie yet a little too comfortable. “You don’t have to, you know? He’ll understand. You know he would. He knows the rules of this world better than any of us.”
“I’m aware.” A bitter smile crept up his lip as he watched the clouds dance up the bright blue sky. “But he had enough of this life. I don’t want to drag him back into this. He had lost too much.”
“But Kris-“
“Yixing. I don’t need another lecture. Zhou Mi already almost pulled my hair out when I told him that I’m flying back to China. Zitao is already there anyway.”
“I believe you’re also aware that he will definitely murder you with his bare hands, no matter how much he loves you, once he finds out that you brought Zitao into this.”
Kris chuckled at his old colleague’s comment. Yixing had always been a man of few words yet the younger had always known what to say - whether it was in an appropriate moment or not. Perhaps it was just him, and his inability to choose the right words nor the right actions when it came to anything related to emotions. It was almost like being trapped behind bars created by his own fears and inhibitions. He would choose incapability to deal with emotions as an excuse yet he had always known it was just him and his naiveté in the said field.
“Luhan will get over it. He’s not as fragile as he looks.” He sighed, drawing his attention from the sky to the bracelet hugging his left wrist. “He’s probably stronger than any of us.”
Yixing just flashed his dimpled smile, eyes void of emotions. “But you also know that he would break if you didn’t come back. You had seen him the last time.” A sigh was heard. “And this time there is no Sehun to fix him Yi Fan. He gave up his freedom for you once, and recently, his happiness. It’s just either you or nothing. It’s all or nothing.”
The sound of his real name rang inside Kris’ head, yet the mention of the younger Korean male pierced through his heart. He might have got his love back but he had always known that he would never come first again, not when somebody else had already took the spot he once held. It was another mistake he would wish to correct yet it was already given that wishing was for fools. It was just either him or nothing.
“Also Zitao just texted me and told me that he’s bailing out on you and that he’s flying back to Seoul tomorrow because Luhan is at the hospital.”
Yixing just patted his shoulder before giving him a sly smile and disappearing into the pool of people buzzing at the entrance Incheon airport. It didn’t take Kris a split second before he found himself sprinting out of the building and stealing a cab from a middle aged man.
“Emergency room. Room 320.” Said the message that was sent to his personal mobile phone.
*****
Luhan’s eyelids fluttered opened and he almost jumped when his eyes weren’t met by the beautiful blue sky. The view looked very plain and very white - a ceiling he concluded. The air smelled stale and thick, yet clean, almost too close to the smell of antiseptics. The walls were painted a painful shade of light green that reminded him of elementary school where the girls used to wear skirts of the same shade. Luhan never liked elementary school. He thought it was full of false hopes and bliss, and broken promises. The shade also reminded him of hospitals.
Oh
He was in a hospital ward, with hospital gown, IV drip and everything. He must have passed out while he was taking a walk down Gangnam to get some fresh air. It was quite inevitable since neither food, drink nor sleep had been catching his attention lately - he was actually quite surprised it didn’t come sooner than he expected. Perhaps it was the training he had once gone through or perhaps just the lack of significance of anything around him.
How many losses could a normal person could have in a span of five years? Luhan really didn’t want to ask anymore, it was already specified that he was not to be considered normal yet he couldn’t deny the fact that he had been losing too much and gaining too little. Perhaps it was part of the fate that had been predetermined for him.
“Luhan.”
A familiar voice echoed inside his head - a hallucination perhaps. The owner of the voice had been long gone, probably even sporting a huge chunk of anger towards him. It was quite sad really, losing the only person that genuinely cared for him and offered him his everything but the parting was inevitable. He would rather have them both trapped in a heartbreak than lifeless.
“Luhan.”
Luhan chuckled at the mention of his name.
“Luhan-hyung. Are you okay?”
“Sehunnie?”
Just when he thought he had already lost everything, there was a false spark of hope waltz into his life once more. Just when he thought he could get over things as quick as he thought he could, a long, almost forgotten feeling came crashing down him once more. It was almost like that spring night a year ago when he caught a familiar, tall figure watching him from the sea of people in the middle of the Myeongdong district.
“Yes. Are you okay? How are you feeling?” The younger took the empty seat right by the bed and watched him with wary eyes. “Please don’t make me ask again. I can’t really stay long.”
A sad smile curved Luhan’s lips.
“He doesn’t know you’re here, does he?”
“Nope.” Sehun sighed, glancing at the lanky figure trapped in his hospital bed and IV drip. It was quite devastating - the bags under the used-to-be bright eyes, the bluish lips and the pale complexion - yet the pain the he expected to dawn on him once he saw his old love never came. “Now answer the question before Zitao takes back the offer to buy me a year and a half supply of bubble tea.”
Luhan almost chuckled at the sound of his already broken heart crushing into even smaller pieces. He had always known that he was never going to be the first in Sehun’s heart yet the younger had always cared for him more than anybody else did and Luhan couldn’t seem to ignore the fact that he was quickly falling for the boy. It was almost perfect while it lasted, yet fate had always had this huge grudge against him. The romance started and ended too quickly. It was choice, a sacrifice - to keep the person he treasured the most, safe.
However, things might have changed along with time. Treasured feelings faded into memories and were replaced by what once he thought was long gone.
“I’m fine Sehun. You can go tell Zitao that so you can go home.” Luhan smiled, a genuine one. “You shouldn’t keep him waiting. He had been waiting for too long. Chanyeol is a really good person. I know he’s going to take good care you. He had always been. He loves you more than anybody else ever can.”
The younger smiled back. “I know hyung. I know but I have a small favor to ask.”
“Mmm?”
“I just want to prove something. You probably need this too.”
“What-“
He was cut off by the younger’s lips pressed on his. It brought up familiar feelings yet not as intense as it was. It reminded him of old memories and forgotten emotions he had been trying to bury inside him. It brought emotions that had already been replaced by older ones. It was confusing and the only thing clear in his mind was that the feeling wasn’t right, not anymore.
He started chuckling.
The younger was right, it was exactly what they both needed - closure.
“Yeah this is not working.”
“Yeah it’s not.” Sehun smiled back at him.
“It looked at lot like it was.” The same familiar, tall figure that was watching him a year ago in the middle Myeongdong materialized behind Sehun. “I guess I’m not needed here.”
*****
A/N: a spin-off to Sanctuary (ChanHun) and Forgotten (KaiSoo). It's not required to read them before this one tho I suggest reading Sanctuary first, it would help a lot in grasping what happened with HunHan. Also I know the prologue's a little weird, I will supply more details in the next chapters tho I will not really update until I finish my KaiSoo arc so please be patient with me.
The prologue kind of sucks tbh. I'm kind of trying this writing exercise thingy I found: John Gardner Killer Exercise and I obviously failed miserably. I am sorry. I will make up to you with the next chapters. I promise.
And lastly, for the readers that had been with me since Sanctuary, I hope this answered all the questions about why HunHan kissed. It didnt go as smooth as I had it in my head but whatever right? lol
xoxo - rin
>>