Panic! at the Disco Updated Primer & Picspam, part 1
Long ago when I started it it was only going to be a picspam, but it has since ~evolved into this monster of a thing, which I am sure a few of you saw coming a mile away. So now it turns out that, FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY, I have made a primer. At the very least so I have a place to point all the new people who are getting into MCR these days, in case they want to know who all these supporting characters are in all the AUs they've started reading! And also because this fandom is awesome and more people should read and write in it :D
Many excellent primers have already been made about Panic! at the Disco, but my problem with them is twofold: one, the big ones are from around 2008, and some very important developments have happened since then. Two, look, I love this fandom, but I don't actually find the guys attractive in like over half of their photos, and a lot of times going through old picspams makes me cringe. So I've attempted to weed out only photos I actually like! But then I realized that if I only post photos where they're hot, they'd also have zero personality, so eventually I settled on a compromise between hot and cute photos.
ANYWAY BLAH BLAH INTRO, here is your brand new updated guide to Panic! at the Disco:
I Formation and early years (part 1)
II Pretty. Odd. + the split (part 2)
III Post-split Panic + The Young Veins (part 3)
IV Pretty picspams! (part 3)
V Recs and resources (part 4)
So, Panic!
ETA: meep bandwidth exceeded. Images will be back online when it resets on Nov 17th. Sorry!
From left to right:
Spencer Smith, drummer, 23
Ryan Ross, main lyricist, guitarist, vocals, 24
Brendon Urie, lead singer, guitarist, keyboard, 23 (AND A HALF)
Jon Walker, bassist, vocals, 25
(In the first few photos, I'll keep listing the boys' names from left to right, for those of you who can't tell them apart yet.)
Once upon a time, Panic were babies:
[Jon, Brendon, Ryan, Spencer]
Who liked making slightly emo boypiles...
[Spencer, Jon, Brendon, Ryan]
And putting on make up and dressing up with ruffles...
[Jon, Ryan, Brendon, Spencer]
And playing with their boy toy Ryan Ross...
[Spencer, Ryan, Brendon, Jon]
You may notice that Brendon has a thing for clinging to Ryan. This is not a one time occurrence:
Sometimes this happened onstage too:
Brendon's not really possessive, he just likes showing off his boyfriend:
...who all evidence suggests is secretly a pixie.
Eventually, Ryan even returns his affections!
As disarm_d beautifully put it, somewhere inside current!Brendon, bb!Brendon is all HOW IS THIS HAPPENING! :D
BUT WE'RE GETTING AHEAD OF OURSELVES.
Panic was formed by childhood best friends Spencer and Ryan, who met at the respective ages of 5 and 6 and lived on the same street in Las Vegas. When they were 12 and 13 they both asked for instruments for Christmas; Spencer chose the drums, and Ryan chose the guitar. In junior high they formed a band that mostly covered Blink 182 songs with their friends Trevor and Brent, and no, I don't know why everyone's names sound like they belong to preppy Ken dolls, it's just how it worked out.
Trevor left at some point, and in high school, Ryan, Spencer and Brent formed another band. They were looking for another guitarist, and Brent introduced them to this kid he met at his new high school -- Brendon Urie. Brendon auditioned and got into the band, and a short time later they heard him sing and promptly made him lead singer because everybody knew Ryan couldn't sing for shit. Brendon was also made of magic and played guitar, bass, piano, drums, cello, and the accordion -- and you would ask yourself, why would a rock/pop/emo/whatever band even need an accordion? But these are VEGAS BOYS, they like putting on a show. Anyway, Brendon was in, AND SO THEY WERE A BAND. Albeit a bb one.
*If you are new to the fandom, bb is Panic! code for The Early Years.
**On the right here is Jon, not Brent. We'll get there later.
Now, things weren't easy for the boys in high school. I mean, okay, Brent was normal as far as I know, and Spencer had a loving and stable suburban family to go home to every night and an awesome grandmother who let the band practice in the garage, so he was cool too. Brendon and Ryan, however, became fandom's woobies for a reason.
Brendon grew up in a conservative Mormon family, the youngest of five siblings. He's hyperactive and outgoing and dorky, and when he was 12 he was diagnosed with ADHD and given meds that he got off as fast as he could, because, in his words, "they made me into a vegetable". In high school he was super enthusiastic and a little weird and kind of a loner, and had only acquaintances, but no real friends.
At age 15 he decided that religion was not for him. His insistence on taking the band seriously got him either kicked out or "unwelcome" at home; rather than give up the band, 17-year-old Brendon found himself working at a Smoothie Hut in order to pay the rent and bills of a shitty little apartment in Vegas and his share of the rent for the band's rehearsal space, splitting the rest of his time between band practice and school. He barely had any connection to his family; pretty much everything was riding on the band.
And here we get to Ryan, who is really how it all started. Ryan Ross was a sensitive emo pretentious artsy kid who loved writing and music and the inspirational writing of Chuck Palahniuk and wanted to form a band. His parents had split up when he was a kid, and he barely knew his mom or siblings; he lived with his dad, an ex-marine with a slowly growing alcohol abuse problem (whose alcoholism was the subject of two songs from Panic's first album. In fact, both Ryan and Spencer didn't drink at all for a long time even after they got famous, because of Ryan's dad). Ryan spent a lot of his childhood at Spencer's house; by the time he was in high school, he'd spend entire weeks at either girlfriends' or Spencer's (SOME MIGHT SAY that's the same thing) house instead of going back home. Ryan always seemed very withdrawn, quiet, and sarcastic. And when he speaks he has a DEAD MONOTONE, it's hilarious, he always sounds like he's fucking bored out of his mind.
ANYWAY, here is the important bit: RYAN ROSS HAS AN LJ.
Spencer reads Ryan's LJ! Maybe. (And is that Jon? I'm not sure.)
...Or at least Ryan had one. And he was a total camwhore who posted photos of himself in communities like tightpants that I will not post here because he is TINY and they are CREEPY (but you can find them here). He also totally fanboyed Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance -- My Chemical Romance MAKES HIM DANCE, OKAY = lol forever.
So Panic! record a couple of demos on a laptop and post them to a site called PureVolume, and Ryan leaves a comment in Pete Wentz, front man of Fall Out Boy's LJ, asking him to check them out. Miraculously, Pete does, and a few days later eloquently asks for Ryan's email. One hilarious IM conversation later, Pete flies down to Vegas, sees them audition, and decides to sign them on to his brand new record label, Decaydance, an imprint of the Fueled By Ramen record label. (Almost all of the bands in Bandom -- Cobra Starship, The Academy Is..., Gym Class Heroes, The Cab, etc, are members of the Decaydance family, and if Everyone In The Universe is Six Degrees of Pete Wentz, everyone in Bandom is two degrees of separation away. Also known as "It's always Pete's fault.")
Anyway, so yes, this is how you get shit done in the music business:
Pete Wentz (7:49:47 PM): How does the singiner look
Ryan Ross (7:50:05 PM): dead sexy.
Ryan Ross (7:50:41 PM): he’s no pete wentz. but still
Pete Wentz (7:51:42 PM): Hahaha
DEAD SEXY, Y'ALL.
Brendon displays dead sexiness in a his favorite lavender hoodie and red glasses.
TRUST ME PETE, GIRLS WILL DROP OFF THEIR FEET AT THE SIGHT OF THIS SEXY BEAST
I jest, they're fucking adorable, ugh. bb!Brendon and bb!Spencer ♥. THEY GET OLDER LATER ON OKAY.
By this point Ryan's 19 and has gotten a full scholarship to college, but drops out after one semester to focus on the band. The others finish high school, and three days after Brendon's graduation they go on a road trip to the recording studio in Maryland, which is also the cramped one-bedroom apartment they live in while recording. After five weeks of hard work and occasional tension, especially between Ryan's demanding perfectionism and Brendon who tries to sing the songs the way Ryan wants him to, they have themselves a debut album \o/
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out, Panic!'s first album, was a huge success, and a pretty new phenomenon in that internet marketing made them immensely popular without ever having played a single show yet. The band toured with Fall Out Boy for a while and slowly worked their way up to headlining their own tour, both in the US and in Europe. Their most famous single, I Write Sins Not Tragedies, played constantly on the radio (at least, I can attest, in both the US, where I spent that summer, and back home).
Like I said, Panic are Vegas boys, and that influence definitely comes out in their shows: both their music and their performances are very theatrical and cabaret-esque, performing with, among others, the Lucent Dossier Vaudeville Cirque. Here you can see them performing There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet live -- note the dancers, Ryan's (famous? infamous?) rose vest, Spencer's drums that LIGHT UP IN THE DARK, how awesome is their life. Also note the title of the song -- signature Ryan Ross, who named his songs things like The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage and London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines and other quotes that reference Palahniuk novels and the movie Closer.
And in the days of Fever, Ryan Ross would paint his face every single show.
And he was so, so pretty.
One might say debauched. (
marina says I should use the word 'debauched' a lot and play the CAN'T YOU SEE RYAN WAS GIFTED TO THESE BOYS TO USE FOR THEIR PLEASURE angle to win you guys over. ~DEBAUCHED~ ~DEBAUCHED~ ~DEBAUCHED~ no but seriously, look how pretty he is.)
Sometimes Ryan liked to paint on the other boys, just to fulfill as many squares of
kink_bingo as possible.
But mostly he just liked painting Brendon's face.
Until Brendon learned how to put on his own make up. Panic actually went through so much make up that MAC offered them a constant supply in exchange for endorsements.
The art of make up mastered, Brendon pranced around the stage like a ringmaster
Molesting Ryan on a nightly basis
Occasionally begging Ryan for forgiveness, or maybe just a scrap of affection. (These boys really ARE dedicated to
kink_bingo. Fandom tries to help, but doesn't really need to do much.)
I'm just saying, There's a Reason There's So Much BDSM in This Fandom, Honey, You Just Don't Know It Yet and it's pretty self evident.
At this point in the story, a new character joins our dramatis personæ: Enter Jon Walker.
Ryan worships at Jon's feet for saving the band. Or maybe just because he worships him. (
marina adds: SERIOUSLY, GIFTED TO HIS BAND MEMBERS TO USE FOR THEIR OWN PLEASURE. I am just saying.)
Around the middle of 2006, Brent started being less and less dedicated to the band, disappearing for hours at a time and only appearing just before shows. One day, he never showed up. The band called their friend Jon Walker, who was a guitar tech for The Academy Is... whom they'd toured with earlier that year. Jon walked out of his girlfriend's prom in Chicago, hopped on a plane, listened to his iPod to learn the bass parts for their show on the flight there, and arrived in time to save the day.
Shortly after, Brent was kicked out of the band. Spencer -- who usually took care of the business aspects of the band -- was the one who made the phone call, with Brendon and Ryan listening in. It wasn't pleasant, but it was done. Panic! asked Jon to become a temporary bassist, and a week later Brendon asked fans to join teamjonwalker on LJ. A month after that, the website listed Jon as their new official bassist. THE AMOUNT OF FIC WRITTEN ABOUT THE TIME BETWEEN JON'S UNOFFICIAL AND OFFICIAL MEMBERSHIP, LET ME TELL YOU. Basically the general consensus is that Jon Walker was the catalyst for group sex \o/
AND THEN THERE WERE FOUR.
This photo encapsulates so much of Panic with Jon. Look at how happy they are! Spencer's finally grown a beard and become a man! Ryan's turning into a hipster, with cleavage and a vest and necklaces and his favorite hat! (Okay, not his favorite. His favorite has a feather in it.) Brendon's still wearing girl jeans because they're (self admittedly) the only ones that will fit him, excited to have someone new to geek out with, because trufax: the first time Brendon and Jon met they sang the entire soundtrack of Aladdin together, which Brendon had on his iPod. And Jon is being signature Jon: wearing flip flops, because Jon Walker is too cool for shoes, and drinking tea, because he used to work at Starbucks and enjoys hot caffeinated drinks! Half the AUs still cast him as a barista.
This is bb!Jon:
Moar flip flops!
The important things to know about Jon Walker are: he's from Chicago. He's hung out and toured with bands (his Chicagoan friends The Academy Is...) for a long time. He's very laid back, possibly related to the fact that he's the one with the good stash of weed. He worked at Starbucks. He started film school before doing band stuff, and he's a photographer (he also used to make short films about TAI...). OH, AND HE LOVES KITTENS.
Dylan and Clover, Jon's cats. This boy tweets photos of his cats ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Basically, this is Jon Walker in a nutshell:
(Except imagine it's wearing flip flops, playing a guitar and smoking a joint.)
With Jon around, the rest of 2006 happened. Important events include:
*Ryan's father passing away in his sleep, after the two had reconciled. Two shows are canceled, and Ryan flies to Vegas to speak as his funeral.
*In their performance at the Reading Festival in England, someone throws a bottle onstage and hits Brendon in the head, knocking him out (video here, POOR BB!BRENDON MY HEART.) A few minutes later he comes back on and continues the show.
*Panic! get the Video of the Year VMA award for the video of I Write Sins Not Tragedies. Their winning speech gets hijacked, Kanye style /o\
Panic! at the VMAs: the band gets protective when Spencer is molested by an unauthorized stranger. Dude, there's a line. (Also ahahaha Jon Walker, this is what made him vow off letting Ryan dress him up ever again.) (Also ~rakish Brendon, look at him.)
*They go on quadruple dates! Because a date is not a date unless your three boyfriends are there with you.
The boys and their SO's go on a foursome date on New Years. But OH NO, who will Brendon kiss at midnight?
Don't worry! Click your heels three times and Pete Wentz, insta!date, just pops into existence.
Ryan's not sure he approves! He totally had Pete first.
He might be a little possessive about it.
And on the other hand, it's Brendon.
Ryan had Brendon first too, so just back the fuck off, Pete, you perv.
It's okay, though! Pete knows where the real love's at, especially when Brendon's naked in the background. Thankfully for us, he doesn't hesitate to tweet about it.
*Which leads us to the final momentous occasion of 2006, where Ryan confesses to taking Brendon's virginity.
They finish touring, spend some time off, and then in 2007 they go on retreat to write their second album in...
The Sex Cabin
So that was the time Panic! holed up in a cabin in the middle of the mountains in Nevada for two months and had lots and lots of sex, or -- and here is an important term for you to learn if you are new to Bandom -- GSF, ie Group Sex Fic. Of course, it wasn't always GSF. Sometimes it was just Spencer/Brendon. Sometimes it was Spencer/Brendon and Spencer was a werewolf. Sometimes it was Brendon/Spencer and Spencer's always been a girl. Sometimes it was Jon/Ryan and Brendon/Spencer and there was sex pollen. Sometimes it was Brendon/Ryan. Sometimes it was Jon/Spencer. Sometimes it was Brendon/Jon. Sometimes it was Jon/Ryan.
But yeah, sometimes it was totally GSF. See also: the Delicious tag pornocabin.
So anyway, we know that happened at the cabin. But what else happened there? Well:
Ryan tried to write a concept album.
Pete Wentz later described it as "a bizarre musical about wolves. It felt a bit forced."
Ryan started freeeaking out. They also smoked up a lot. And have I mentioned the sex?
Spencer and Jon went on the roof to smoke up and get a brief respite from Brendon and Ryan's sex noises, because those dudes were fucking unstoppable.
Finally, Ryan had an artistic little meltdown and broke his guitar and BURNED IT because if there is one thing no one ever accused Ryan of, it is not having a flair for the dramatic.
The boys scrapped the entire album, said goodbye to the pornocabin, and went back home.
Back in Vegas, the guys live in and out of each other's houses, return to their old practice space, and start writing what would become their real second album -- this time, collaboratively (aka Ryan Learns How to Share). Brendon moves in with Shane Valdez, one of his best friends and a good friend of the band's, who sometimes tours with them and films them to make band documentaries. They get a dog together (Dylan), because Brendon is nothing if not preparing for a life of comfortable domesticity with his dudebros (see future: Brendon/Spencer.)
Ryan turns 21, and Brendon and Spencer are unable to get into the bar for his party, being underage /o\ FAIL. Ryan and Spencer's birthdays are only three days apart though, so they also have a joint party to celebrate together! Their clothes at this point reflect Ryan's journey towards becoming a hipster, Spencer's journey to becoming a hippie, and Brendon's just wearing the mustard blazer that should burn in hell forever.
Spencer is whispering to Brendon his plans for what they're going to do to Ryan later tonight! Brendon and Ryan are FUCKING GIGGLING about Spencer's birthday surprise! Look, I'm not saying that Birthday Surprise GSF are an entire subgenre of fics in this fandom, but -- oh wait, actually I TOTALLY AM.
For the birthday boys, let's take a moment to bask in a little Spencer/Ryan BFFness:
BABIES OH MY GOD LOOK AT THEM
Ryan with HEARTS in his EYES
bb!Ryan flopping on the couch against Spencer, cropped from the blurred, by-the-way background of a photo of other people. There's so much casualness in this photo. It's not the same kind of touch as Brendon, who wants hugs or cuddling or constantly seeks some sort of reaction; it's the intimacy that comes from two friends knowing each other for such a long time that they are utterly comfortable and unselfconscious with each other's bodies.
UTTERLY UNSELFCONSCIOUS, lol. IF I COULD DRAW A HEART AROUND THIS PICTURE. Seriously, boys ♥.
Smith: I've known Ryan since I was five years old, and we used to live down the street from each other, so we would sleep over. So I can say that I've slept in a twin-sized bed with Ryan Ross -- more than once.
How was it?
Smith: I got great sleep. It was tight. It was uncomfortable, because there's not a lot of room, but...
Ryan Ross -- good in bed?
Smith: I'm not going to answer that!
Sorry, that was a really cheap set-up.
Smith: [Laughing] Yeah.
Walker: I slept with Ryan in a twin bed less than two months ago! It was the most comfortable sleep I've ever had.
AHAHAHA SERIOUSLY, TWIN BEDS, circa 2010. Jon Walker, I want to forever thank you for your twitpics.
The boys play for who gets to take Ryan back to their twin -- or bunk -- that night.
Anyway, back to making the record: it was during 2007 that Jon Walker made his third greatest contribution to Panic at the Disco (after catalyzing group sex, and weed): he introduced Ryan Ross to The Beatles.
Eventually, this was going to lead to:
But before that, back in the end of 2007, what it lead to was:
On the one hand, a clear salute to Sgt. Pepper's, but on the other hand, this whole video might just have been a brilliant ploy to get them all into underwear so the world could compare their junk for real. Not that the comparative size of Ryan's Monstercock has been a topic of extensive fandom discussion or anything (warning: image heavy, dubiously SFW).
In fact, Ryan himself has contributed to the discussion with rather smug, "I have the biggest clock in the band."
SUBTLETY. That's why he's the lyricist.
But enough talk about cock.
I-- okay, but--
No, look, I have other stuff I need to get to, opening your mouth even wider isn't going to--
Now that's just unfairly distracting.
OKAY, FINE, you want to bend down and suck Ryan off even when you've already left the stage gay of Fever behind, I GET IT. The magical fairy lights and blooming flowers and pastel tones are what I've been trying to work my way up to.
Which is to say: we have arrived at part 2 \o/ Things are shaping up to be...
continue to part 2
comments on Dreamwidth.
Many excellent primers have already been made about Panic! at the Disco, but my problem with them is twofold: one, the big ones are from around 2008, and some very important developments have happened since then. Two, look, I love this fandom, but I don't actually find the guys attractive in like over half of their photos, and a lot of times going through old picspams makes me cringe. So I've attempted to weed out only photos I actually like! But then I realized that if I only post photos where they're hot, they'd also have zero personality, so eventually I settled on a compromise between hot and cute photos.
ANYWAY BLAH BLAH INTRO, here is your brand new updated guide to Panic! at the Disco:
I Formation and early years (part 1)
II Pretty. Odd. + the split (part 2)
III Post-split Panic + The Young Veins (part 3)
IV Pretty picspams! (part 3)
V Recs and resources (part 4)
So, Panic!
ETA: meep bandwidth exceeded. Images will be back online when it resets on Nov 17th. Sorry!
From left to right:
Spencer Smith, drummer, 23
Ryan Ross, main lyricist, guitarist, vocals, 24
Brendon Urie, lead singer, guitarist, keyboard, 23 (AND A HALF)
Jon Walker, bassist, vocals, 25
(In the first few photos, I'll keep listing the boys' names from left to right, for those of you who can't tell them apart yet.)
Once upon a time, Panic were babies:
[Jon, Brendon, Ryan, Spencer]
Who liked making slightly emo boypiles...
[Spencer, Jon, Brendon, Ryan]
And putting on make up and dressing up with ruffles...
[Jon, Ryan, Brendon, Spencer]
And playing with their boy toy Ryan Ross...
[Spencer, Ryan, Brendon, Jon]
You may notice that Brendon has a thing for clinging to Ryan. This is not a one time occurrence:
Sometimes this happened onstage too:
Brendon's not really possessive, he just likes showing off his boyfriend:
...who all evidence suggests is secretly a pixie.
Eventually, Ryan even returns his affections!
As disarm_d beautifully put it, somewhere inside current!Brendon, bb!Brendon is all HOW IS THIS HAPPENING! :D
BUT WE'RE GETTING AHEAD OF OURSELVES.
Panic was formed by childhood best friends Spencer and Ryan, who met at the respective ages of 5 and 6 and lived on the same street in Las Vegas. When they were 12 and 13 they both asked for instruments for Christmas; Spencer chose the drums, and Ryan chose the guitar. In junior high they formed a band that mostly covered Blink 182 songs with their friends Trevor and Brent, and no, I don't know why everyone's names sound like they belong to preppy Ken dolls, it's just how it worked out.
Trevor left at some point, and in high school, Ryan, Spencer and Brent formed another band. They were looking for another guitarist, and Brent introduced them to this kid he met at his new high school -- Brendon Urie. Brendon auditioned and got into the band, and a short time later they heard him sing and promptly made him lead singer because everybody knew Ryan couldn't sing for shit. Brendon was also made of magic and played guitar, bass, piano, drums, cello, and the accordion -- and you would ask yourself, why would a rock/pop/emo/whatever band even need an accordion? But these are VEGAS BOYS, they like putting on a show. Anyway, Brendon was in, AND SO THEY WERE A BAND. Albeit a bb one.
*If you are new to the fandom, bb is Panic! code for The Early Years.
**On the right here is Jon, not Brent. We'll get there later.
Now, things weren't easy for the boys in high school. I mean, okay, Brent was normal as far as I know, and Spencer had a loving and stable suburban family to go home to every night and an awesome grandmother who let the band practice in the garage, so he was cool too. Brendon and Ryan, however, became fandom's woobies for a reason.
Brendon grew up in a conservative Mormon family, the youngest of five siblings. He's hyperactive and outgoing and dorky, and when he was 12 he was diagnosed with ADHD and given meds that he got off as fast as he could, because, in his words, "they made me into a vegetable". In high school he was super enthusiastic and a little weird and kind of a loner, and had only acquaintances, but no real friends.
At age 15 he decided that religion was not for him. His insistence on taking the band seriously got him either kicked out or "unwelcome" at home; rather than give up the band, 17-year-old Brendon found himself working at a Smoothie Hut in order to pay the rent and bills of a shitty little apartment in Vegas and his share of the rent for the band's rehearsal space, splitting the rest of his time between band practice and school. He barely had any connection to his family; pretty much everything was riding on the band.
And here we get to Ryan, who is really how it all started. Ryan Ross was a sensitive emo pretentious artsy kid who loved writing and music and the inspirational writing of Chuck Palahniuk and wanted to form a band. His parents had split up when he was a kid, and he barely knew his mom or siblings; he lived with his dad, an ex-marine with a slowly growing alcohol abuse problem (whose alcoholism was the subject of two songs from Panic's first album. In fact, both Ryan and Spencer didn't drink at all for a long time even after they got famous, because of Ryan's dad). Ryan spent a lot of his childhood at Spencer's house; by the time he was in high school, he'd spend entire weeks at either girlfriends' or Spencer's (SOME MIGHT SAY that's the same thing) house instead of going back home. Ryan always seemed very withdrawn, quiet, and sarcastic. And when he speaks he has a DEAD MONOTONE, it's hilarious, he always sounds like he's fucking bored out of his mind.
ANYWAY, here is the important bit: RYAN ROSS HAS AN LJ.
Spencer reads Ryan's LJ! Maybe. (And is that Jon? I'm not sure.)
...Or at least Ryan had one. And he was a total camwhore who posted photos of himself in communities like tightpants that I will not post here because he is TINY and they are CREEPY (but you can find them here). He also totally fanboyed Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance -- My Chemical Romance MAKES HIM DANCE, OKAY = lol forever.
So Panic! record a couple of demos on a laptop and post them to a site called PureVolume, and Ryan leaves a comment in Pete Wentz, front man of Fall Out Boy's LJ, asking him to check them out. Miraculously, Pete does, and a few days later eloquently asks for Ryan's email. One hilarious IM conversation later, Pete flies down to Vegas, sees them audition, and decides to sign them on to his brand new record label, Decaydance, an imprint of the Fueled By Ramen record label. (Almost all of the bands in Bandom -- Cobra Starship, The Academy Is..., Gym Class Heroes, The Cab, etc, are members of the Decaydance family, and if Everyone In The Universe is Six Degrees of Pete Wentz, everyone in Bandom is two degrees of separation away. Also known as "It's always Pete's fault.")
Anyway, so yes, this is how you get shit done in the music business:
Pete Wentz (7:49:47 PM): How does the singiner look
Ryan Ross (7:50:05 PM): dead sexy.
Ryan Ross (7:50:41 PM): he’s no pete wentz. but still
Pete Wentz (7:51:42 PM): Hahaha
DEAD SEXY, Y'ALL.
Brendon displays dead sexiness in a his favorite lavender hoodie and red glasses.
TRUST ME PETE, GIRLS WILL DROP OFF THEIR FEET AT THE SIGHT OF THIS SEXY BEAST
I jest, they're fucking adorable, ugh. bb!Brendon and bb!Spencer ♥. THEY GET OLDER LATER ON OKAY.
By this point Ryan's 19 and has gotten a full scholarship to college, but drops out after one semester to focus on the band. The others finish high school, and three days after Brendon's graduation they go on a road trip to the recording studio in Maryland, which is also the cramped one-bedroom apartment they live in while recording. After five weeks of hard work and occasional tension, especially between Ryan's demanding perfectionism and Brendon who tries to sing the songs the way Ryan wants him to, they have themselves a debut album \o/
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out, Panic!'s first album, was a huge success, and a pretty new phenomenon in that internet marketing made them immensely popular without ever having played a single show yet. The band toured with Fall Out Boy for a while and slowly worked their way up to headlining their own tour, both in the US and in Europe. Their most famous single, I Write Sins Not Tragedies, played constantly on the radio (at least, I can attest, in both the US, where I spent that summer, and back home).
Like I said, Panic are Vegas boys, and that influence definitely comes out in their shows: both their music and their performances are very theatrical and cabaret-esque, performing with, among others, the Lucent Dossier Vaudeville Cirque. Here you can see them performing There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet live -- note the dancers, Ryan's (famous? infamous?) rose vest, Spencer's drums that LIGHT UP IN THE DARK, how awesome is their life. Also note the title of the song -- signature Ryan Ross, who named his songs things like The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage and London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines and other quotes that reference Palahniuk novels and the movie Closer.
And in the days of Fever, Ryan Ross would paint his face every single show.
And he was so, so pretty.
One might say debauched. (
marina says I should use the word 'debauched' a lot and play the CAN'T YOU SEE RYAN WAS GIFTED TO THESE BOYS TO USE FOR THEIR PLEASURE angle to win you guys over. ~DEBAUCHED~ ~DEBAUCHED~ ~DEBAUCHED~ no but seriously, look how pretty he is.)
Sometimes Ryan liked to paint on the other boys, just to fulfill as many squares of
kink_bingo as possible.
But mostly he just liked painting Brendon's face.
Until Brendon learned how to put on his own make up. Panic actually went through so much make up that MAC offered them a constant supply in exchange for endorsements.
The art of make up mastered, Brendon pranced around the stage like a ringmaster
Molesting Ryan on a nightly basis
Occasionally begging Ryan for forgiveness, or maybe just a scrap of affection. (These boys really ARE dedicated to
kink_bingo. Fandom tries to help, but doesn't really need to do much.)
I'm just saying, There's a Reason There's So Much BDSM in This Fandom, Honey, You Just Don't Know It Yet and it's pretty self evident.
At this point in the story, a new character joins our dramatis personæ: Enter Jon Walker.
Ryan worships at Jon's feet for saving the band. Or maybe just because he worships him. (
marina adds: SERIOUSLY, GIFTED TO HIS BAND MEMBERS TO USE FOR THEIR OWN PLEASURE. I am just saying.)
Around the middle of 2006, Brent started being less and less dedicated to the band, disappearing for hours at a time and only appearing just before shows. One day, he never showed up. The band called their friend Jon Walker, who was a guitar tech for The Academy Is... whom they'd toured with earlier that year. Jon walked out of his girlfriend's prom in Chicago, hopped on a plane, listened to his iPod to learn the bass parts for their show on the flight there, and arrived in time to save the day.
Shortly after, Brent was kicked out of the band. Spencer -- who usually took care of the business aspects of the band -- was the one who made the phone call, with Brendon and Ryan listening in. It wasn't pleasant, but it was done. Panic! asked Jon to become a temporary bassist, and a week later Brendon asked fans to join teamjonwalker on LJ. A month after that, the website listed Jon as their new official bassist. THE AMOUNT OF FIC WRITTEN ABOUT THE TIME BETWEEN JON'S UNOFFICIAL AND OFFICIAL MEMBERSHIP, LET ME TELL YOU. Basically the general consensus is that Jon Walker was the catalyst for group sex \o/
AND THEN THERE WERE FOUR.
This photo encapsulates so much of Panic with Jon. Look at how happy they are! Spencer's finally grown a beard and become a man! Ryan's turning into a hipster, with cleavage and a vest and necklaces and his favorite hat! (Okay, not his favorite. His favorite has a feather in it.) Brendon's still wearing girl jeans because they're (self admittedly) the only ones that will fit him, excited to have someone new to geek out with, because trufax: the first time Brendon and Jon met they sang the entire soundtrack of Aladdin together, which Brendon had on his iPod. And Jon is being signature Jon: wearing flip flops, because Jon Walker is too cool for shoes, and drinking tea, because he used to work at Starbucks and enjoys hot caffeinated drinks! Half the AUs still cast him as a barista.
This is bb!Jon:
Moar flip flops!
The important things to know about Jon Walker are: he's from Chicago. He's hung out and toured with bands (his Chicagoan friends The Academy Is...) for a long time. He's very laid back, possibly related to the fact that he's the one with the good stash of weed. He worked at Starbucks. He started film school before doing band stuff, and he's a photographer (he also used to make short films about TAI...). OH, AND HE LOVES KITTENS.
Dylan and Clover, Jon's cats. This boy tweets photos of his cats ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Basically, this is Jon Walker in a nutshell:
(Except imagine it's wearing flip flops, playing a guitar and smoking a joint.)
With Jon around, the rest of 2006 happened. Important events include:
*Ryan's father passing away in his sleep, after the two had reconciled. Two shows are canceled, and Ryan flies to Vegas to speak as his funeral.
*In their performance at the Reading Festival in England, someone throws a bottle onstage and hits Brendon in the head, knocking him out (video here, POOR BB!BRENDON MY HEART.) A few minutes later he comes back on and continues the show.
*Panic! get the Video of the Year VMA award for the video of I Write Sins Not Tragedies. Their winning speech gets hijacked, Kanye style /o\
Panic! at the VMAs: the band gets protective when Spencer is molested by an unauthorized stranger. Dude, there's a line. (Also ahahaha Jon Walker, this is what made him vow off letting Ryan dress him up ever again.) (Also ~rakish Brendon, look at him.)
*They go on quadruple dates! Because a date is not a date unless your three boyfriends are there with you.
The boys and their SO's go on a foursome date on New Years. But OH NO, who will Brendon kiss at midnight?
Don't worry! Click your heels three times and Pete Wentz, insta!date, just pops into existence.
Ryan's not sure he approves! He totally had Pete first.
He might be a little possessive about it.
And on the other hand, it's Brendon.
Ryan had Brendon first too, so just back the fuck off, Pete, you perv.
It's okay, though! Pete knows where the real love's at, especially when Brendon's naked in the background. Thankfully for us, he doesn't hesitate to tweet about it.
*Which leads us to the final momentous occasion of 2006, where Ryan confesses to taking Brendon's virginity.
They finish touring, spend some time off, and then in 2007 they go on retreat to write their second album in...
The Sex Cabin
So that was the time Panic! holed up in a cabin in the middle of the mountains in Nevada for two months and had lots and lots of sex, or -- and here is an important term for you to learn if you are new to Bandom -- GSF, ie Group Sex Fic. Of course, it wasn't always GSF. Sometimes it was just Spencer/Brendon. Sometimes it was Spencer/Brendon and Spencer was a werewolf. Sometimes it was Brendon/Spencer and Spencer's always been a girl. Sometimes it was Jon/Ryan and Brendon/Spencer and there was sex pollen. Sometimes it was Brendon/Ryan. Sometimes it was Jon/Spencer. Sometimes it was Brendon/Jon. Sometimes it was Jon/Ryan.
But yeah, sometimes it was totally GSF. See also: the Delicious tag pornocabin.
So anyway, we know that happened at the cabin. But what else happened there? Well:
Ryan tried to write a concept album.
Pete Wentz later described it as "a bizarre musical about wolves. It felt a bit forced."
Ryan started freeeaking out. They also smoked up a lot. And have I mentioned the sex?
Spencer and Jon went on the roof to smoke up and get a brief respite from Brendon and Ryan's sex noises, because those dudes were fucking unstoppable.
Finally, Ryan had an artistic little meltdown and broke his guitar and BURNED IT because if there is one thing no one ever accused Ryan of, it is not having a flair for the dramatic.
The boys scrapped the entire album, said goodbye to the pornocabin, and went back home.
Back in Vegas, the guys live in and out of each other's houses, return to their old practice space, and start writing what would become their real second album -- this time, collaboratively (aka Ryan Learns How to Share). Brendon moves in with Shane Valdez, one of his best friends and a good friend of the band's, who sometimes tours with them and films them to make band documentaries. They get a dog together (Dylan), because Brendon is nothing if not preparing for a life of comfortable domesticity with his dudebros (see future: Brendon/Spencer.)
Ryan turns 21, and Brendon and Spencer are unable to get into the bar for his party, being underage /o\ FAIL. Ryan and Spencer's birthdays are only three days apart though, so they also have a joint party to celebrate together! Their clothes at this point reflect Ryan's journey towards becoming a hipster, Spencer's journey to becoming a hippie, and Brendon's just wearing the mustard blazer that should burn in hell forever.
Spencer is whispering to Brendon his plans for what they're going to do to Ryan later tonight! Brendon and Ryan are FUCKING GIGGLING about Spencer's birthday surprise! Look, I'm not saying that Birthday Surprise GSF are an entire subgenre of fics in this fandom, but -- oh wait, actually I TOTALLY AM.
For the birthday boys, let's take a moment to bask in a little Spencer/Ryan BFFness:
BABIES OH MY GOD LOOK AT THEM
Ryan with HEARTS in his EYES
bb!Ryan flopping on the couch against Spencer, cropped from the blurred, by-the-way background of a photo of other people. There's so much casualness in this photo. It's not the same kind of touch as Brendon, who wants hugs or cuddling or constantly seeks some sort of reaction; it's the intimacy that comes from two friends knowing each other for such a long time that they are utterly comfortable and unselfconscious with each other's bodies.
UTTERLY UNSELFCONSCIOUS, lol. IF I COULD DRAW A HEART AROUND THIS PICTURE. Seriously, boys ♥.
Smith: I've known Ryan since I was five years old, and we used to live down the street from each other, so we would sleep over. So I can say that I've slept in a twin-sized bed with Ryan Ross -- more than once.
How was it?
Smith: I got great sleep. It was tight. It was uncomfortable, because there's not a lot of room, but...
Ryan Ross -- good in bed?
Smith: I'm not going to answer that!
Sorry, that was a really cheap set-up.
Smith: [Laughing] Yeah.
Walker: I slept with Ryan in a twin bed less than two months ago! It was the most comfortable sleep I've ever had.
AHAHAHA SERIOUSLY, TWIN BEDS, circa 2010. Jon Walker, I want to forever thank you for your twitpics.
The boys play for who gets to take Ryan back to their twin -- or bunk -- that night.
Anyway, back to making the record: it was during 2007 that Jon Walker made his third greatest contribution to Panic at the Disco (after catalyzing group sex, and weed): he introduced Ryan Ross to The Beatles.
Eventually, this was going to lead to:
But before that, back in the end of 2007, what it lead to was:
On the one hand, a clear salute to Sgt. Pepper's, but on the other hand, this whole video might just have been a brilliant ploy to get them all into underwear so the world could compare their junk for real. Not that the comparative size of Ryan's Monstercock has been a topic of extensive fandom discussion or anything (warning: image heavy, dubiously SFW).
In fact, Ryan himself has contributed to the discussion with rather smug, "I have the biggest clock in the band."
SUBTLETY. That's why he's the lyricist.
But enough talk about cock.
I-- okay, but--
No, look, I have other stuff I need to get to, opening your mouth even wider isn't going to--
Now that's just unfairly distracting.
OKAY, FINE, you want to bend down and suck Ryan off even when you've already left the stage gay of Fever behind, I GET IT. The magical fairy lights and blooming flowers and pastel tones are what I've been trying to work my way up to.
Which is to say: we have arrived at part 2 \o/ Things are shaping up to be...
continue to part 2
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