Overboard (remix) 5/6
Title: Overboard (remix) 5/6
Author: rogueangel1998
Rating: PG-13
Characters/pairings: Jim/Bones, with appearances of Spock, Gary Mitchell, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov and Winona. Passing mentions of Rand, Chapel, Uhura, and Riley.
Word count: 34,000+ (I just can’t write short fics!)
Chapter 5
The next morning he was still out of sorts from their talk, but Leonard did his best to put a good façade on it. He’d started this and he had to see it through. He’d thought everything was about to come tumbling down after dinner the night before. He’d been trying to impress the boys by reciting all the bones in the human body. When he’d finished Kirk had looked across the table at him, his eyes twinkling and said, “Well, Bones, I guess that gets you out of doing the dishes tonight.”
After he said it, there had been a stunned moment when they’d sat staring at each other; Leonard in shocked dread, waiting for Kirk’s real memories to come back, and Kirk in growing excitement.
“I’ve called you that before,” he whispered in awe.
Leonard just nodded, still waiting for Kirk to start yelling at him.
“It just felt right, when I said it,” Jim continued excitedly. “I mean, it made sense because you had just said all their names, and I was just teasing you, but it…it seemed right, too, somehow.” He smiled widely. “Maybe…maybe everything’s coming back now.”
“That’s great, darlin’,” Leonard forced a smile. “Just don’t try to force it. Let it come naturally.”
Jim nodded, thoughtfully. “But why did I call you that?” he asked, his brow furrowed.
“Well, I’d rather not say right now,” Leonard told him, looking over at the boys pointedly and then back at Kirk.
“Huh?” Kirk looked perplexed, but as he began to understand, his eyes widened and he grinned, his eyebrows rising. “Oh…okay.”
That had been the end of that, and the evening had gone smoothly enough with Kirk playing games with the boys while Leonard looked over some of the household bills and perused the news on his PADD. Kirk had been optimistic when he’d gone to bed. Leonard had been just the opposite, but when he walked into the kitchen to find breakfast being cooked and Kirk and Monty discussing some plan or other that the young boy was working on, he breathed a sigh of relief.
“All right everyone, get your shoes on,” Leonard told them as soon as breakfast was over. “Jim, you better grab some socks.”
“Why?” Pavel immediately demanded. “Are we going somewhere?”
“Yup,” Leonard told him while ruffling his hair. “We’re going into town. Jim needs some shoes and maybe some clothes that actually fit him. And we need to pick up the paint and brushes Jim needs so he’ll stop bitching about the dirty walls,” he grumbled, but there was no ire behind it.
Kirk looked shocked, but didn’t protest, even as he smiled shyly at Leonard before going to grab the aforementioned socks. The boys immediately scrambled to get their shoes on.
“If we’re in town long enough, can we have lunch?” Monty called from the living room. “The diner had really good toasted cheese sandwiches last time we went.”
“I want ice cream!” Pavel said, bouncing around the living room. “Can we get ice cream too?”
“I think so,” Leonard smiled, picking up Pavel and settling him on his hip. “What do you say, Hikaru? Should we make a day of it?” He asked, holding out his hand for the dark haired boy.
“Yes, please Leonard,” the quiet boy grinned, slipping his hand into Leonard’s.
“Well then, let’s go. You ready Jim?” Leonard called over his shoulder.
“Right behind you,” he replied, a grin splitting his face.
~
Kirk was surprisingly frugal when it came to picking out clothes, though Leonard assured him repeatedly that anything he wanted was fine. The first stop had been for shoes, where he’d picked out a pair of running shoes and a pair of flip flops. Then he’d picked out a pair of jeans that actually fit him and several pairs of shorts and some underwear of his own. He’d didn’t bother with any shirts, saying that Leonard’s fit him well enough. He did however choose a pair of swim trunks and a baseball cap and sunglasses.
The next stop was the hardware store, where they spent over an hour picking out various shades of paint for the house. Leonard had just wanted to go with off white or maybe a pale yellow for everything, but Kirk had given him a disdainful look. He may have looked like everyone else, but he was still a rich kid inside, even if he didn’t have his memories. Turning to the sales clerk, he began talking dimensions and accenting colors and trim. Leonard honestly didn’t care what went on the walls, so he kept an eye on the boys who were busy perusing the paint sample cards. Leonard had promised that he’d let them choose the color of their room.
In the end they ended up with more colors than Leonard thought they needed, but he hadn’t complained, amused at how absorbed Kirk was. The living room and hallways, it had been decreed, would be Laguna Blue with accents of Crystal Waters and Classic Silver. To Leonard they looked like blue, light blue and grey, but after his first sarcastic comment he kept his mouth closed. The kitchen was to be done up in various shades of green that Leonard didn’t even bother to remember. However, they did match some of the stoneware and kitchen supplies that Jocelyn had sent, so he could see the sense in it.
For Leonard’s bedroom and office, Kirk had picked a rich chocolate brown, accented with a light beige and another shade of grey. Surprisingly, he actually liked it.
The bathrooms were a bright yellow and blue for the downstairs and a fire engine red for the boys’, both with antique white trim. Once again, Leonard was a bit skeptical of the choices, but was overruled.
The boys had wanted the red for the bedroom at first, so Leonard was glad Jim had talked them out of it. Then they’d wanted black. Jim had managed to talk them down to a dark grey along two walls and a lighter shade for the other two. He and the sales clerk had also discussed painting methods that went right over Leonard’s head, but had the boys all excited.
While the paint was being mixed and stirred, Kirk had filled a cart with brushes, paint trays, painting tape, and drop cloths. Then he had pulled Leonard aside and quietly asked if they could go out to the gardening area. Confused, but willing, Leonard had followed and watched as Kirk talked with Hikaru. Several gardening tools, as well as packets of vegetable seeds, two tomato plants and a bunch of pretty flowering plants soon ended up in the cart. Leonard could only hope that they’d survive the week, but Hikaru looked more excited than he had ever seen.
Once everything was paid for and hauled out to the truck, it was off to the diner for lunch and then some ice cream. On the way home Leonard made a stop at the local Salvation Army arranging for a pick up of Doc Matthews’s old furniture.
When they got home the boys disappeared into the backyard with the gardening tools, Hikaru directing their attack on a raised area of soil that had once been some sort of garden, but was now overgrown with weeds. As the evening passed, Monty and Pavel eventually lost interest, but Hikaru kept at it until he was called in to dinner, sweaty and covered in dirt, but smiling.
He and Jim spent the rest of the afternoon moving the old furniture out of the living room and into the front yard for pick up and arranging the new furniture sent by Jocelyn. They worked in companionable silence and it was Leonard who offered to cook dinner while Jim sorted through the painting supplies and began prepping the living room for painting.
By the time dinner was over and cleaned up, the boys showered and clean, no one had enough energy to do more than sit and watch one of the Disney vids the boys liked. Pavel fell asleep halfway through, his head pillowed on Kirk’s lap. Kirk carried him up to bed, while Leonard shepherded a stumbling Hikaru and a yawning Monty upstairs.
It had been the best day that Leonard could remember in a long time. He’d fallen asleep to the image of a shirtless Jim exiting the bathroom, a small smile on his face as he said good night.
~
Before Leonard realized it the summer was halfway over. All the rooms in the house were painted, the front yard had been weeded and trimmed into submission, and Jim and the boys were in the process of building a fort that Monty had designed with Jim’s help.
Leonard was actually enjoying his life. His research project was going well; there had even been inquiries from several major biomedical companies. They boys were happy. His practice was thriving. Life just couldn’t seem to get any better.
There had been one night, early in the summer when Leonard had come home to find the three boys duct taped to each other on the front porch while Jim was inside painting the living room. He had laughed uproariously at the sight and even took a few pictures with his PADD; Monty scowling, Hikaru looking sheepish and Pavel grinning widely.
Jim had simply shrugged and handed Leonard a pair of scissors, telling the boys over his shoulder that they had better wash up for dinner and that they weren’t to touch anything in the living room. Properly chastised, the boys had entered the house and done exactly as they were told. Even after the duct tape incident they remained surprisingly well behaved all summer.
It helped that Hikaru spent most of his time out in his garden and Monty was entranced by his plans for a fort. Jim had downloaded a beginner level CAD program and spent one evening explaining it to Monty. The kid took to it like a duck to water and whenever he could, he talked with Jim about what their fort should look like. Responding patiently, Jim had told him to dream big and design the biggest, best fort he could think of. They might not be able to actually make it, but they could scale it down later. Monty had agreed and the PADD was never far from his side.
Jim made a point of inspecting Hikaru’s garden every morning and helping out with the bigger projects, too. He also consulted the boy when he worked on the border around the front yard, asking his advice on what flowers and plants would grow best and where they should be planted. Hikaru was surprisingly knowledgeable because he too had a PADD loaded with a gardening encyclopedia and planner.
It was Jim’s treatment of Pavel that Leonard was most impressed with. At just barely five years old he was inquisitive, but easily bored. His teacher had deemed him slow, saying that he was well below average at grasping and understanding basic math. Some of the kids in his class had even teased him and called him stupid, though Leonard had only found that out after the fact through Monty.
Without calling attention to it, Jim began introducing the concept of numbers and addition and subtraction, and even basic multiplication and division, to Pavel through everyday tasks. Soon Pavel was spouting off numbers left and right as Jim offered him more challenging problems, patiently teaching him how to figure them out all while he was painting, cooking dinner or working in the yard with Hikaru.
It also helped that Jim gave Pavel a small paintbrush and let him paint numbers and equations onto the walls that Jim hadn’t worked on yet.
Leonard had given up wondering why Jim was so good with the boys, just as he filed away the man’s initial timidity and willingness to please earlier. They seemed so out of character for the arrogant man he had met, but who really knew the depths of the human psyche? The longer Jim didn’t remember anything from his past, the more Leonard thought that he was suppressing it as the most likely explanation.
As easily as Jim had worked his way into the boys’ lives, connecting with them in ways that Leonard hadn’t even thought of and helping to expand their horizons and nurture their interests in the world around them, it was how he had inserted himself into Leonard’s life that had been the most startling.
One day, Leonard woke up and it suddenly hit him that Jim Kirk had become his friend; probably the best friend he’d had since he was Monty’s age and went everywhere around his neighborhood with Paul Thackeray at his side. It hadn’t happened over night, but it had happened so effortlessly that Leonard wasn’t even aware of it.
This thing between them began naturally enough with dinner conversations about the boys and what happened during the day. Then it had been beers on the porch after the boys had gone to bed, where they discussed whatever came up - the weather, politics, history, the latest book Jim was reading, or what Leonard was researching and the hoops he had to jump through to get funding. It didn’t matter what the topic was, they simply talked.
Jim was surprisingly insightful and well read. Given that Leonard had met the man on his twenty-foot, million credit boat, it shouldn’t have been surprising at all, but Leonard tried to make himself forget where he’d met Jim and what was actually going on between them.
There were a couple topics they did not talk about; Jim’s past and their - supposed - relationship. Still, there were times when Leonard caught Jim looking at him and he’d feel a shiver of sexual awareness course down his spine, yet the younger man never made a move. Leonard certainly wasn’t going to. He felt guilty enough when he let himself think about it.
It had been a nice summer, but Leonard knew it couldn’t last. Jim’s memory was going to come back eventually and he was going to be angry with Leonard and rightly so. He wouldn’t be surprised if Jim never spoke to him again, or possibly pressed charges. At this point it might even be a relief if that happened. Then Leonard could at least absolve some of his guilt through penance.
Seeing Jim and feeling the pull that the other man had on him, Leonard knew that he had to come clean soon or lose him forever, as a friend and as, maybe, something more. But he just couldn’t do it, not yet. He couldn’t bear the thought of those eyes looking at him in hurt and anger. He knew that Jim was happy here with him and the boys; that he believed that he belonged. But Leonard knew different. But he wanted to believe; he wanted it desperately.
“Hey, grumpy,” Jim nudged him in the ribs with his foot. “Get up, it’s time to go. The festivities start soon and the boys are ready.”
Removing his arm from where he had draped it over his eyes, Leonard looked over at Jim sitting on the coffee table, taking in his golden hair and smiling face. His sunglasses were perched on the top of his head casually and he was wearing a white t-shirt that showed off his tanned and toned arms, a pair of baggy shorts and his flip flops. He’d never looked better. Leonard frowned.
“You okay, Bones,” Jim asked, his smile fading to a look of worry. “You’ve been…off… for a couple days now.”
“I’m fine,” Leonard scowled, sitting up and running a hand through his hair and over his face. “Did you use sunscreen?”
“Yes,” Jim rolled his eyes. It was on oft asked question in the McCoy household.
“And the boys?”
“Of course.”
Standing, Leonard offered Jim his hand to pull him up. “Well, let me go to the bathroom and put some sunscreen on myself and we can go.”
Jim smiled, squeezing Leonard’s hand before giving him a playful slap on the shoulder. “All right. We’ll meet you in the truck. I’ll be the one with the big melons - filled with fruit salad.” Winking, he pulled down his sunglasses and went to the front door, calling for the boys.
Rolling his eyes, Leonard moved to get ready. It was going to be a long day if Jim was feeling flirty already. The small touches and insinuating looks had been increasing lately and Leonard was becoming more and more uncomfortable. A part of him welcomed them. He knew he was attracted to Jim and Jim’s flirting heightened that awareness. But Leonard knew it couldn’t go further, at least not yet, so as pleasurable as it was, Jim’s flirting was also torturous. Catching the way Jim was watching him almost hungrily from the doorway, the boys still outside, Leonard had a feeling that he was in serious trouble today.
As Leonard had guessed, Jim’s flirting had only increased as the day went on. They’d attended a concert at one end of the park, where Jim had leaned against Leonard and hummed along as they watched Hikaru and Pavel dance with the other kids in front of the stage. Later as they made their way over to the picnic area where all the food was set out, he’d taken Leonard’s hand and not let go until Maude had handed them plates. In the afternoon he and the boys had participated in several of the games and events including laser tag, various races and a greased pig competition, while Leonard watched from the sidelines.
Leonard wasn’t the only one who had their eyes on Jim when he’d striped off his shirt in order to chase after the pig. When he’d graciously given Leonard his blue ribbon after he’d actually caught the damn thing, and then slung his arm around Leonard’s shoulder, Leonard hadn’t been able to stop himself from leaning in, just for a moment. It had been a fine display of manly muscles and testosterone. If some of the women present gave him jealous looks, well, it wasn’t his fault.
They’d meandered their way through the rest of the afternoon, following the boys from activity to activity. Jim had even joined the boys in a water balloon fight and then willingly stood still as Leonard had reapplied sunscreen all over his chest and back. Another round of food and the boys were getting tired and snippy, so they pitched their blanket on the side of park facing the river and settled in to wait for the fireworks at dusk. Monty and Hikaru had immediately turned on their PADDs. Pavel had curled up and fallen asleep between Jim and Leonard like a worn out puppy.
“It’s been a good day,” Jim said after awhile, his hand stroking through Pavel’s sweaty hair. He was lying on his side, propped up on one elbow, facing Leonard.
“The best,” Leonard agreed. He was leaning back on both his elbows, idly watching the clouds float by. Feeling the weight of Jim’s eyes on him, he turned his head to look at the other man, feeling something catch in his throat as he saw how natural Jim looked, laying there with Pavel, Hikaru now curled up and sleeping against his back and Monty at his feet, taping away on his PADD.
This was what Leonard had always wanted. He hadn’t found it with Jocelyn. And he hadn’t expected to find it with the cocky, arrogant man he had met on that boat all those weeks ago. But he had found it with Jim. And it was all wrong and he knew it.
Reaching out, Jim cupped his jaw, his thumb rubbing lightly against Leonard’s lower lip. “I’m glad we’re here,” he said softly, his smile warm and gentle. “Why are you frowning?”
Leonard sighed, turning onto his side to face Jim, he brought up a hand to hold Jim’s fingers against his face. “Jim,” he said slowly, his eyes downcast. “This is…we can’t…I…” he was trying to find the right words; how desperately he wanted Jim, but how badly he had screwed it all up.
“No Bones,” Jim interrupted him, his smile not fading a bit. “We can.” Leaning forward, he placed a gentle kiss on Leonard’s lips, lingering as their breath intermingled, before pulling back slowly. “We can, Bones,” he repeated. “This is right. You can’t tell me otherwise. I know you can’t. I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t care about my memories. I don’t need them. But I do need you.”
Leonard’s breath hitched at Jim’s softly spoken words. “Jim,” he pleaded, “please, I…”
Not wanting to hear another protest, Jim leaned forward and kissed him again and Leonard felt himself surrender to it, opening himself to Jim as the other man continued to kiss him softly. For a moment he thought it was his imagination that there were fireworks going off until he heard the exclamations of delight from the crowd. Pulling away, his teeth lightly tugging on Leonard’s lower lip, Jim let go and smiled. “Pretty epic kiss,” he grinned. “Fireworks and everything.”
Leonard snorted, and shook his head. “Don’t get too cocky, darlin’.”
Jim grinned, opening his mouth to say something probably indecent, but then thought better of it. Instead, he looked down at Pavel and shook his shoulder gently. “Hey, Pasha. The fireworks have started. You better wake up or you’ll miss ‘em.”
Like a jack-in-the-box, the little boy popped up, his eyes bleary, but focused on the colorful explosions going on above him. “Wow,” he exclaimed. “Did you see that Leo?” he asked, climbing into Leonard’s lap.
“I did, kiddo,” Leonard replied, leaning back on his hands so that Pavel could recline on top of him and see the show.
Hikaru didn’t wake up nearly as easily, but he drowsily enjoyed the show from where he was curled up against Jim’s chest, as Jim lay on the on his back, one hand under his head and the other wrapped around Hikaru.
The ride home was quiet. After forty-five minutes of fireworks, it was well past the boys’ usual bedtime, even during summer vacation. Jim and Monty discussed the origins of fireworks and what they were made out of as they made their way to the truck, but the conversation trailed off once they were on the road to home. It had been a good day, but everyone was exhausted.
~
Leonard sat nervously on the end of his bed. He’d already prepared for bed while Jim was talking to Monty upstairs about their plans for tomorrow. He could hear Jim in the bathroom between their rooms and his anxiety began to rise. He hadn’t felt this nervous on his wedding night, or his senior prom when Brittney Callahan had promised to put out at the end the evening.
It was ridiculous for a grown man to feel this way, but he couldn’t help it. Jim had made his intentions clear earlier and Leonard didn’t want to say no. Not really. It was his conscious that was the problem.
“You gonna work yourself up into an anxiety attack, Bones?” Jim asked humorously from where he was leaning against the doorway to Leonard’s room.
Because it was the most natural thing for him to do, Leonard glared. “No,” he snapped.
Jim was standing there barefoot in a pair of low slung shorts and no shirt, his hair slightly damp from a quick shower.
“Like what you see?” he asked. There was a knowing grin on his face as he waggled his eyebrows.
Leonard found it suddenly hard to speak. “Yeah,” he said, after clearing his throat. Sighing, he looked away from the man standing before him, steeling himself to do what he had to do. “Jim…”
He must have heard something in Leonard’s tone, because before Leonard could utter another word, Jim had pushed off from the door way, crossed the room and gracefully dropped to his knees in front of him.
Shaking his head, Jim placed a finger over Leonard’s lips, silently telling him to stop talking. “No, Bones,” he said earnestly. “Whatever you’re worried about; whatever’s been bothering you - just let it go.”
“Jim,” Leonard tried again, but Jim simply pressed more firmly against his lips with his finger.
“No, Bones. Stop thinking, stop over-thinking. Just stop,” he scolded. “Tonight’s going to happen. I want it to happen and I think you want it to happen, right?”
Scowling, Leonard pursed his lips, not responding.
“I know you do,” Jim said with a small grin, removing his finger from Leonard’s lip and instead resting both his hands on Leonard’s thigh’s, massaging them lightly. “We’ve been dancing around each other for weeks now. I don’t care about my memories,” he told Leonard honestly, his eyes wide and open, letting Leonard see the truth in them. “I only care about us. And this, tonight…this is just the last piece of the puzzle.”
Leonard’s breath hitched in his chest and he let out a little groan at Jim’s words and how profoundly they affected him.
“You’re my best friend, Bones,” Jim told him, “and I want you. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before. About anyone.”
Not giving Leonard a chance to pull away, Jim surged up and caught his lips in a deep kiss, one hand circling behind his neck to keep him from pulling away. His lips were slightly chapped and he tasted vaguely of mint and Leonard found it totally addictive as he surrendered to Jim’s onslaught. When Jim finally pulled away, he didn’t move far, only rested his forehead against Leonard’s as he brought his breath under control, a smile on his face.
“Why is that so hard for you to believe, Bones?”
“Christ Jim,” Leonard sighed, rubbing a thumb over Jim’s throat near where his hand had come to grip him while they were kissing. He could feel the blood pumping fast and heavy through Jim’s veins, even more evidence of his obvious arousal, if Leonard needed it. “I believe you, but…”
“Don’t you want me too?” Jim asked.
“Of course I do,” Leonard snapped, though he knew it wasn’t fair for him to take his anger out on Jim.
Jim shrugged, used to his moods by now. “Then I don’t see what the problem is,” he said, leaning in for another kiss.
This time, Leonard managed to turn his head, Jim’s lips landing on his cheek instead. The change of location didn’t faze Jim in the least as he began to place lingering kissing across Leonard’s face and down his neck, nipping lightly and soothing with his tongue. Despite himself, Leonard found himself tilting his head to give Jim better access.
“That’s it, Bones,” Jim whispered, his cool breath making Leonard shiver. “Relax.” Slowly, his hand began to sneak under Leonard’s shirt. The feel of Jim’s hands against his skin caused a shiver to run down his spine. For so long he had wondered what it would feel like, Jim’s hands slightly callused and oh, so warm against him, tracing patterns over his back and up his ribs.
He touched Jim often enough and knew the softness of his skin well. Though he had always tried to remain removed when he treated Jim’s random bumps, bruises, splinters and cuts, he wasn’t blind. And now that Jim had pushed through the artificial barrier Leonard had constructed between them, he wanted to touch. He wanted to run his hands over Jim’s skin. To feel the muscles and sinews that he watched work day in and day out. To see where Jim was sensitive. To see what touches aroused him.
Of their own volition, his hands came to rest against on Jim’s hips, only his thumbs grazing Jim’s flesh above the waistband of his shorts. Jim’s shudder in response to Leonard’s touch letting him know without words that it was more than welcome. Slowly, delicately, Leonard traced a pattern over Jim’s stomach, across his ribs, until he was cupping Jim’s pectorals, his thumbs brushing lightly over the other man’s nipples.
With a moan, Jim pulled away from where he was kissing Leonard’s neck. “God, Bones, I have been waiting for you to touch me.”
“I touch you all the time,” Leonard said, his voice low and rough as he began to play with Jim’s already pebbled nipples, pinching gently, then smiling at Jim’s hissing response. “I put sunscreen all over you today,” he reminded him.
“Yeah,” Jim groaned, his hands gripping Leonard’s back spasmodically. “And I was half hard the whole time. I could barely concentrate on what Monty was saying. It was torture.”
Giving a huffing laugh, Leonard smiled knowingly. “You loved it.”
“Hell yeah,” Jim agreed, pushing up with his hands on the bed and forcing Leonard backwards until he was lying on his back. “I want you Bones,” Jim said as he looked down at him, his eyes blown wide in arousal and desire. “I feel like I’ve always wanted you,” he whispered before leaning down to kiss him once more.
Leonard surrendered easily to the kiss at first, then Jim’s words penetrated the erotic haze in his mind and he pulled away. Placing his hands on Jim’s hips, he pushed. Intent on his neck, if he couldn’t kiss his lips, Jim ignored him until Leonard let out a growl and shoved, pushing Jim to the side and sitting up.
“What the hell?” Jim asked in confusion.
“This is wrong, Jim,” Leonard told him in a hoarse voice, his head hanging.
One of Jim’s hands came to rest on Leonard’s shoulders and he flinched, but Jim didn’t pull away. “Not from where I’m sitting,” he said gently.
“Ugh!” Leonard groaned in frustration. “You don’t even know who you are!”
Jim shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “I’m Jim.”
Leonard closed his eyes and shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. That’s not…”
Squeezing his shoulder, Jim ducked his head to try to get a look at Leonard’s face. The sympathy and understanding in those blue eyes almost killed Leonard. “I know what you meant and…I understand. I do,” he responded to Leonard’s incredulous look. “And it doesn’t matter to me. I know what I want, okay? I’m a big boy,” he said with a wry smile. “This is my decision and I know it’s something we both want, so will you just relax?”
“I can’t,” Leonard whispered, turning away from Jim’s piercing eyes and staring morosely at the floor.
“Okay, fine,” Jim said with a theatrical sigh. Pulling one foot off the floor, he positioned himself crossed-legged facing Leonard. “Let’s hear it,” he demanded. “What has you so worked up? We’re good together, Bones. What’s stopping us - you - from taking it further, to where we both want to go?”
Stunned, Leonard could only stare at Jim, the words trapped in this throat. After all these weeks, now was the time to tell Jim the truth; to watch his eyes darken with anger and hatred, to watch him pull away in disgust and actually leave him. Leonard found that he couldn’t, not when Jim was so close and so…there, waiting patiently for what he believed was a trivial matter.
Leonard licked his lips, swallowing several times as he tried to find the words. “I…we…I…you…” he stuttered, stumbling awkwardly as he stared into Jim’s crinkling eyes as he tried not to smile at Leonard’s discomfort.
“That’s a good start,” Jim winked. “You got the pronouns down. I’m me, you’re you and you and I are we. What’s next?” he asked with a repressed grin.
Scowling, Leonard glared, but then pushed ahead. “We…we were never engaged,” he finally managed to get the words out of his mouth. It wasn’t the whole truth, but Leonard just couldn’t bring himself to say it all, not when Jim was sitting right there in front of him looking so…patient.
“Okay,” Jim accepted with a shrug and a smile. “Now was that so hard?”
Stunned once more, Leonard’s mouth opened and closed. “Okay?” he asked. “Just ‘okay’? That’s all you have to say?”
Jim grinned. “Yeah, Bones, that’s all I have to say. Honestly it’s a relief.”
“It is?” Leonard frowned, totally confused by Jim’s easy acceptance.
“Yeah, I mean, seriously? Why would a well-educated guy like you - a doctor - with a practice and patients and kids and everything,” he waved a hand to encompass the house, “why would he tie himself to someone like me? I don’t care how deep the bottle was, no one is that desperate.”
“Darlin’,” Leonard spoke automatically, his heart twisting to hear Jim refer to himself in such a way and it was all his fault. He was the one who made up all those horrible lies and Jim had believed him because there was nothing and no one to say otherwise. “You are amazing and…”
Without warning, Leonard found himself on is back once more, Jim perched over him. “I love it when you call me darlin’. You haven’t done it in what feels like forever,” he said, shivering dramatically. “Don’t you see, Bones? Who I was in the past, hell, who you were - we’re not the same people. We’re better because we’re together.” He placed a soft kiss against Leonard’s lips and then pulled back just so that he could look in Leonard’s eyes. “I like who I am when I’m with you,” he said softly. “And I want to make love with you. Now will you shut up and get with the program?” he said scolded lightly, with a small smile.
Leonard felt the banked heat that was always within him whenever Jim was near flare with need. “Whatever you say, darlin’,” he whispered, reaching up and pulling Jim’s mouth to his. He could feel Jim’s smile against his lips, but neither of them spoke again.
Later, as the lay snuggled against each other, the sweat cooling from their bodies, Jim looked up at Leonard with an express not unlike awe. “Was it always like this, Bones?” he asked softly, one hand rubbing against Leonard’s cheek, playing with his five o’clock shadow.
Taking his hand, Leonard pressed a kiss to his palm before placing it over his heart. “Every time with you is like the first time, darlin’.”
Sighing, Jim cuddled in, his head tucked into Leonard’s chin, his hand still over his heart, as he dozed off, a smile on his face.
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Chapter 6