Agh.

[roisindubh_]

Why is it that I can get in my zone, and do really good for a week or two, not messing up once, doing even better than I could imagine, and then I just mess up. Just one little thing. Even a cup of coffee with a little bit of skim milk or sugar, and I feel like I’ve ruined everything, so I get really depressed which = full on binge. Then I tell

Comments

[water_for_two]

that's exactly how i am. exactly. i feel like i wrote that entry, andi haven't even updated in a while because that happened and i was so ashamed and couldn't figure out how to explain it. doing perfectly, and suddenly something (like skim milk in coffee) and everything just goes to shit. and the binge always lasts so long, even though before i go to bed im motivated and say "tommorrow is a new day tommorrow is a new day" i wake up and boom, its still going on. for 2 or 3 days eating just "normally". and in 3 days i can gain 5 pounds. i fucking hate it. and then suddenly i snap right back into it where im restricting perfectly or fasting fine. and then i get even MORE upset at myeslf because i think, "look, this is so easy, how did i mess up sooo badly for such a long time?" ghahh

whoa, sorry to rant as a comment, i just felt you put exactly into words what i was trying to figure out how.
sorry!!
<3
Michh