Dear Diary: Car Fail
Two long-standing questions I've wondered about myself were answered today.
Ever since I emerged from puberty physically a woman, but as ambivalent toward men as I had always been as a child, I've wondered if my sexual orientation may be a less convenient one than most people's, or, when I read online that asexuality was a thing, whether I have a sexuality to orient at all. A second question I've had was, if I were to put in the effort to mingle with available people and met someone to return my attentions, what would I do about it?
Today, I met a gorgeous Kwik-E-Mart cashier. He was compact, straight-backed, with bright blue eyes, and built. Think miniature Captain America. He was a spectacular-looking human being, from an artistic sense. I didn't want to approach him, or anything; staring at him felt like looking into a halogen lamp, and the discomfort could only worsen with proximity.
When I had trouble pumping gas, he walked out and jiggled the pump handle for me, explained that the pumps were finicky, and returned to the station store. As he was outside, I dropped my flash drive out of my pocket, then my keys out of my other pocket. After retrieving my belongings and topping off my engine oil, I drove away.
While adding engine oil, I had set the oil reservoir cap on the radiator. The cap was gone by the time I arrived at my destination, my hood is now covered in oil, and my car smells like a tire fire. Smooth.
So now I know that I have a sexual orientation, I am attracted to men, and if I ever met someone who returned my attention, I would forget my wallet on a park bench before choking on my own tongue.
Ever since I emerged from puberty physically a woman, but as ambivalent toward men as I had always been as a child, I've wondered if my sexual orientation may be a less convenient one than most people's, or, when I read online that asexuality was a thing, whether I have a sexuality to orient at all. A second question I've had was, if I were to put in the effort to mingle with available people and met someone to return my attentions, what would I do about it?
Today, I met a gorgeous Kwik-E-Mart cashier. He was compact, straight-backed, with bright blue eyes, and built. Think miniature Captain America. He was a spectacular-looking human being, from an artistic sense. I didn't want to approach him, or anything; staring at him felt like looking into a halogen lamp, and the discomfort could only worsen with proximity.
When I had trouble pumping gas, he walked out and jiggled the pump handle for me, explained that the pumps were finicky, and returned to the station store. As he was outside, I dropped my flash drive out of my pocket, then my keys out of my other pocket. After retrieving my belongings and topping off my engine oil, I drove away.
While adding engine oil, I had set the oil reservoir cap on the radiator. The cap was gone by the time I arrived at my destination, my hood is now covered in oil, and my car smells like a tire fire. Smooth.
So now I know that I have a sexual orientation, I am attracted to men, and if I ever met someone who returned my attention, I would forget my wallet on a park bench before choking on my own tongue.