HIMYM Season 1 in cracky roleplay drabbles!
So this started off when I posted a comment on one of girlthethird's awesome ficlets &hearts If you haven't read her stuff, I highly recommend that you do so right away! Everything she writes is canon, unless it's crack (and even then it might just be canon, true story!)
The original comment thread is here but I've compiled it under the cut for preservation for "future, unborn generations" Granted, we skipped a lot of little details, but hey it's just the general gist =)
I play Ted Evelyn Mosby and she plays Robin Charles Scherbatsky Jr. We do not own any of this shizz, we stole it all for non-monetary profit of the universe (and for our own fangirlish amusement) from Bays & Thomas.
Rating: PG13 for language
Ted:
I think I'm in love with you...
Robin:
What?!
This is all moving pretty fast. I think we should just stay friends, okay kiddo?
Ted:
*sadface*
oh-kay. I can live with that...for now...
*goes off to date a girl with a bakery*
Robin:
What? Someone else? Oh noes, turns out I do love you. I'll have to sabotage your relationship passive-aggressively now.
Ted:
I'm sexually frustrated that my girl wants to "Take it slooooow" so I'm going to bitch to you about it, unaware of your newfound love for me. Our sarcastic blonde friend makes jokes about my being pregnant, which you counter without missing a beat is not possible if there was no sex involved. Blondie goes Naked Man on your ass. What do you do? GO!
Robin:
Tragically, since I reenter the room before he's finished Naked Man-ing up (or should I say DOWN What Up), I'll blow him off and waste another two years before I get to hit that.
Ted:
Oh noez! My g-friend's off to GERMANY! I know it won't work, but since I can't have you I'mma give this long-distance thing a shot, alright? Can I hit on you now plzkthx? Ooooh lets make CARE PACKAGES for her because now I feel totally guilty eating her cupcakes even tho have no qualms falling asleep when she's on the phone paying for long-distance calls!
Robin:
Sure, come on over and "make juice" with me at 2AM. What, you're trying to sleep with me while still not out of your relationship?! How on earth did you get the impression I was that easy??
Ted:
*slinks off sheepishly*
*shows up later at your awards ceremony with totally awesome Star Wars-quoting hot paralegal who's so perfect she MUST be a hooker*
*contemplates sleeping with her despite the moral implications*
*realizes she's actually a paralegal*
*massive fail*
*contemplates killing Blondie for the set-up*
Robin:
*Doesn't talk to you until some high schooler upchucks on my shoes at prom and suddenly you don't seem so bad*
Ted:
Shall we dance? *light gropage* *she smells of vomit, but SCORE!!*
WHAT THE HELL, I'M GONNA GIVE IT ONE LAST SHOT WITH YOU!
*hires blue-instrumented orchestra, fills your living room with flowers and chocolates*
SURPRISE! I'm crazy about you! I think my redhead friend may have mentioned you're into me too, so let's be together! WHADDAYA SAY?!
Robin:
I have to think! (And pee!) It's all happening too fast! You're crazy! I need another, grander, over the top overture of love!
Ted:
*grumbles* Stupid douchey co-anchor of yours at Metro New One thinks he can get in your pants at your stupid work camping trip before I do?
I'M GONNA FUCKING MAKE IT RAIN TO SPITE THAT BITCH!
*enlists Whedonesque girl in braids to teach rain dance*
WHAT, you've never actually SEEN a rain dance?! *grumbles*
Whatevs, I'm gonna SCREAM AT THE SKY AND MAYBE THOR WILL HEAR ME AND SEND SOME RAIN TO NYC!!!! YOU HEAR ME?!
*shakes fists at sky*
*THUNDER*
*inexplicable downpour*
IN YOUR FACE, SANDY RIVERS!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
*does victory rain-dance*
*cabs it to your place and rings the buzzer*
Robin:
I'm swept away by how romantic this all is, even though this relationship is completely doomed. Let's make out and more!
*Cue Bloc Party*
Ted:
*goes home all happy and smexxed-out and dances about in the rain*
*sees roomie on the steps, crying*
Dude, guess what, I just nailed -
*sees redhead's engagement ring in roomie's hand*
Uh-oh.
*bro hugs*
----The end!----
The original comment thread is here but I've compiled it under the cut for preservation for "future, unborn generations" Granted, we skipped a lot of little details, but hey it's just the general gist =)
I play Ted Evelyn Mosby and she plays Robin Charles Scherbatsky Jr. We do not own any of this shizz, we stole it all for non-monetary profit of the universe (and for our own fangirlish amusement) from Bays & Thomas.
Rating: PG13 for language
Ted:
I think I'm in love with you...
Robin:
What?!
This is all moving pretty fast. I think we should just stay friends, okay kiddo?
Ted:
*sadface*
oh-kay. I can live with that...for now...
*goes off to date a girl with a bakery*
Robin:
What? Someone else? Oh noes, turns out I do love you. I'll have to sabotage your relationship passive-aggressively now.
Ted:
I'm sexually frustrated that my girl wants to "Take it slooooow" so I'm going to bitch to you about it, unaware of your newfound love for me. Our sarcastic blonde friend makes jokes about my being pregnant, which you counter without missing a beat is not possible if there was no sex involved. Blondie goes Naked Man on your ass. What do you do? GO!
Robin:
Tragically, since I reenter the room before he's finished Naked Man-ing up (or should I say DOWN What Up), I'll blow him off and waste another two years before I get to hit that.
Ted:
Oh noez! My g-friend's off to GERMANY! I know it won't work, but since I can't have you I'mma give this long-distance thing a shot, alright? Can I hit on you now plzkthx? Ooooh lets make CARE PACKAGES for her because now I feel totally guilty eating her cupcakes even tho have no qualms falling asleep when she's on the phone paying for long-distance calls!
Robin:
Sure, come on over and "make juice" with me at 2AM. What, you're trying to sleep with me while still not out of your relationship?! How on earth did you get the impression I was that easy??
Ted:
*slinks off sheepishly*
*shows up later at your awards ceremony with totally awesome Star Wars-quoting hot paralegal who's so perfect she MUST be a hooker*
*contemplates sleeping with her despite the moral implications*
*realizes she's actually a paralegal*
*massive fail*
*contemplates killing Blondie for the set-up*
Robin:
*Doesn't talk to you until some high schooler upchucks on my shoes at prom and suddenly you don't seem so bad*
Ted:
Shall we dance? *light gropage* *she smells of vomit, but SCORE!!*
WHAT THE HELL, I'M GONNA GIVE IT ONE LAST SHOT WITH YOU!
*hires blue-instrumented orchestra, fills your living room with flowers and chocolates*
SURPRISE! I'm crazy about you! I think my redhead friend may have mentioned you're into me too, so let's be together! WHADDAYA SAY?!
Robin:
I have to think! (And pee!) It's all happening too fast! You're crazy! I need another, grander, over the top overture of love!
Ted:
*grumbles* Stupid douchey co-anchor of yours at Metro New One thinks he can get in your pants at your stupid work camping trip before I do?
I'M GONNA FUCKING MAKE IT RAIN TO SPITE THAT BITCH!
*enlists Whedonesque girl in braids to teach rain dance*
WHAT, you've never actually SEEN a rain dance?! *grumbles*
Whatevs, I'm gonna SCREAM AT THE SKY AND MAYBE THOR WILL HEAR ME AND SEND SOME RAIN TO NYC!!!! YOU HEAR ME?!
*shakes fists at sky*
*THUNDER*
*inexplicable downpour*
IN YOUR FACE, SANDY RIVERS!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
*does victory rain-dance*
*cabs it to your place and rings the buzzer*
Robin:
I'm swept away by how romantic this all is, even though this relationship is completely doomed. Let's make out and more!
*Cue Bloc Party*
Ted:
*goes home all happy and smexxed-out and dances about in the rain*
*sees roomie on the steps, crying*
Dude, guess what, I just nailed -
*sees redhead's engagement ring in roomie's hand*
Uh-oh.
*bro hugs*
----The end!----