Episode... postponed.

[stewartlittle]

Welcome to the Colbert Roleplay Report; my name is Jon Stewart. What a fine program we have for you tonight: an episode with the utter lack of Mr. Colbert himself-how crazy is that

Comments

[theeternalmind]

"Emotionally struct"?

[stewartlittle]

Stephen "disapproves" of President Obama and has ursaphobia, or "bearanoid."

[theeternalmind]

Oh yes, how silly of me to forget. Well, I hope he gets over his struct-ness soon.

[unbearablycute]

"Bearanoid"... that's a good one! I'll have to remember it.

[pissoffedingly]

I'd better cherish this fucking beautiful Friday.

[stewartlittle]

What the--what are you doing here?

[pissoffedingly]

"Living it the hell up" in Mr. Colbert's conspicuous absence.

[stewartlittle]

You know what? I'm actually glad you dropped by, because now that you're so popular and would rather go on Larry King Live than Comedy Central, I couldn't satisfy this burning curiosity.

First of all, what the hell, man? Shouldn't you and your "people" be fixing up the economy right now? This is America; we want things done fast and greasy. And dude, if it takes any longer, I'm gonna have to ask for my Hope back.

Second of all... I know this is three years late, but are you still offering a spot on the table of your Thanksgiving dinner?

[precto]

I do not agree with your shenanigans.

[stewartlittle]

What shenanigans?

[stewartlittle]

Will...do.

[rii_namuras]

I'm certainly sad there'll be no Report, but...

Really now.

[stewartlittle]

Wait a minute. Are you guys thinking that I'm actually going to write the next Report, are you? His computer isn't working, so he simply told me to inform his Nation. That's all.

He will be back today, he told me.

[rii_namuras]

Oh, I wasn't harping on you for anything, don't worry. This is his Report, not yours. It was just that the... absurdity of the situation required an appropriate response.

I'm glad to hear that, Jon.

[stewartlittle]

Well, in his defense, he is Stephen Colbert.