Everything you didn't need to know about Resident Evil - and really didn't ask
Saw Resident Evil: Retribution this morning at the first available screening, since it didn't screen for critics, and we need a review up for the site. It's the fifth movie in the series, with one more planned as the series finale. The latest movie ends with [trust me, this isn't much of a spoiler] a bunch of characters facing an immense battle and spouting a bunch of rhetoric along the lines of "This is the last stand for humanity. This will be our last and greatest fight." Cut to black.
Then the guy in front of me turned around and explained, in all seriousness, "See, there's going to be another one. This is the fifth in the series, but they're making a sixth one. They usually don't end like this. They usually end with them killing [character]. There's gonna be another movie where they actually fight that battle."
I was busy watching the credits and taking notes, so I didn't really pay much attention as he repeated himself a couple times; I said "Uh-huh" and "I know" a couple of times while writing, and eventually he went away.
But after the credits ended, as I was on my way out, another guy stopped me and said "What did you think of that?" I said "It was fine. About like the last couple. How about you?" And he launched into a huge explanation of how there had been five movies and they were based on this videogame series, and which games he'd played and which he hadn't, and how he was expecting to see a this-thing and not a that-thing, so he wasn't really satisfied and how they were just making stuff up, and…
And actually, god bless him, he could apparently see that I was waiting for a break to disengage, and he said "I hope I'm not boring you with all this," and I said "Well, I don't think it's ever going to be useful in my life," and then we had a conversation instead, and that was actually interesting. Most memorably, he talked about how he hadn't liked Dark Knight Rises because he expects Batman to be a gadgeteer who solves problems, and he'd gotten none of that. I pointed out that there have been so many different versions of Batman, there's no point in expecting him to be the same thing every time. He talked about how he always thought of Batman as a cooler version of James Bond, especially now that James Bond isn't really cool anymore, because every piece of tech he ever had, you can now get at Sharper Image for $25. He was actually pretty funny, and it was a reasonable exchange of ideas.
But I am wondering about what on my face says "Explain Resident Evil to me in detail, please."
Or maybe today is just Talk To Strangers Friday. On the bus back to the office, there was a loud, friendly dude who REALLY wanted to talk to everybody about anything. He was sitting on one of the sideways seats, so effectively facing the whole bus at once, and trying to engage anyone and everyone in conversation. At one point, we pulled up next to a McDonalds, and the very small, pre-verbal child sitting in front of me got excited and bounced up and down and pointed at it, and Talky Dude laughed and spoke directly to both her and her mother: "You sure know what the Golden Arches mean, right? Can't talk yet, but she know what a hamburger is. You should get off here and get her some fries! Can you see she hongry?" Then he tried to engage the mom (who might not have been an English-speaker, or might have just been avoiding the conversation) in talking about Chicago's new children's hospital, and what it cost, and who donated how much money for it, and what the land is worth, and a lot of other stuff. He basically spent the whole bus trip monologuing.
But at least he didn't try to tell me anything about Resident Evil.
Then the guy in front of me turned around and explained, in all seriousness, "See, there's going to be another one. This is the fifth in the series, but they're making a sixth one. They usually don't end like this. They usually end with them killing [character]. There's gonna be another movie where they actually fight that battle."
I was busy watching the credits and taking notes, so I didn't really pay much attention as he repeated himself a couple times; I said "Uh-huh" and "I know" a couple of times while writing, and eventually he went away.
But after the credits ended, as I was on my way out, another guy stopped me and said "What did you think of that?" I said "It was fine. About like the last couple. How about you?" And he launched into a huge explanation of how there had been five movies and they were based on this videogame series, and which games he'd played and which he hadn't, and how he was expecting to see a this-thing and not a that-thing, so he wasn't really satisfied and how they were just making stuff up, and…
And actually, god bless him, he could apparently see that I was waiting for a break to disengage, and he said "I hope I'm not boring you with all this," and I said "Well, I don't think it's ever going to be useful in my life," and then we had a conversation instead, and that was actually interesting. Most memorably, he talked about how he hadn't liked Dark Knight Rises because he expects Batman to be a gadgeteer who solves problems, and he'd gotten none of that. I pointed out that there have been so many different versions of Batman, there's no point in expecting him to be the same thing every time. He talked about how he always thought of Batman as a cooler version of James Bond, especially now that James Bond isn't really cool anymore, because every piece of tech he ever had, you can now get at Sharper Image for $25. He was actually pretty funny, and it was a reasonable exchange of ideas.
But I am wondering about what on my face says "Explain Resident Evil to me in detail, please."
Or maybe today is just Talk To Strangers Friday. On the bus back to the office, there was a loud, friendly dude who REALLY wanted to talk to everybody about anything. He was sitting on one of the sideways seats, so effectively facing the whole bus at once, and trying to engage anyone and everyone in conversation. At one point, we pulled up next to a McDonalds, and the very small, pre-verbal child sitting in front of me got excited and bounced up and down and pointed at it, and Talky Dude laughed and spoke directly to both her and her mother: "You sure know what the Golden Arches mean, right? Can't talk yet, but she know what a hamburger is. You should get off here and get her some fries! Can you see she hongry?" Then he tried to engage the mom (who might not have been an English-speaker, or might have just been avoiding the conversation) in talking about Chicago's new children's hospital, and what it cost, and who donated how much money for it, and what the land is worth, and a lot of other stuff. He basically spent the whole bus trip monologuing.
But at least he didn't try to tell me anything about Resident Evil.