Title: Flowers of Pursued Love
Author:
shuichin or Shuichi
Genre: Angst/Romance/Smut
Artists: Dir en grey, サディ (Sadie)
Pairings: Kyo x Mao, Toshiya x Kei, ? x Kei
Rating: NC-17 (eventually)
Summary: Crossover. Oh yes, this is a sequel to my two parter:
The Two Sides of Fame. Mao's band mates try to hook he and Kyo back up, while Kyo's band mates try to keep them apart.
Notes: Man, I have so many other projects to update, and I have been working on them, they're just all a bunch of unfinished chapters. >_> I found this chapter really easy to complete, though; it is kind of short, but at least you get an update! XP Sorry, I'm on allergy meds and very frustrated today...forgive me.
Part 1
It had been a week since Mao had gone from being almost perky to being completely depressed. He was moping around, spending his free time locked up at home, writing darker lyrics than usual… What Aki found most interesting, though, was how he reacted to Dir en grey’s music, PVs and any mention of Kyo. On the day he chose to find out what was wrong, Tsurugi was listening to Dir en grey’s GAUZE CD when Mao came in to the practice room. He looked over at the stereo, a mixed look came over his visage, and then he stormed out, yelling behind him for Tsurugi to “turn off that garbage.”
Tsurugi paused the music, his mouth wide open in shock. Everyone exchanged worried glances, and Mizuki said, “Since when has Mao-kun thought Dir en grey was garbage?”
“You know what else,” Tsurugi said, looking a little unnerved, “he tore down all those posters of Kyo-san he had in his bedroom. He let me in yesterday just long enough to have some tea, and I saw that.”
“What the hell caused this?” Kei blurted out, looking stunned.
Aki looked between his band mates and said, “You know, as dumb and unbelievable as it sounds… I have to wonder if what Mao told us about he and Kyo was…true.”
There was a brief silence while everyone considered that, and then Tsurugi said, “But that can’t be true…can it?”
“I don’t know, but I think it’s about time Mao-kun tells at least one of us the truth,” said Aki before setting his jaw firmly, and walking out of the room.
He went outside because he assumed that’s where Mao would be hiding. He saw no one, but after standing out there for a minute, thought he could hear a muffled sobbing sound. He followed it around a corner to his right, and sure enough… His heart broke for his friend. Mao was careful not to cry in front of people, but there he was, leaning up against the wall, sobbing into the knees of his jeans. “Oh, Mao,” Aki murmured.
“Go away,” Mao said thickly.
But Aki sat down beside him anyway. “Mao-kun, it isn’t good to hold this stuff inside and not tell anyone. I’m your friend.”
He wasn’t sure that would convince Mao to share, but it seemed he was tired of bottling everything up. He lifted his head, wiped his eyes with his sleeves, and exclaimed, “I would tell you, but I know you guys won’t believe me because you didn’t the first time!”
“You did meet Kyo-san and have sex with him and all of that…didn’t you?” Aki asked, trying to keep disbelief out of his voice.
“Yeah, and then he broke it all off because we’re famous!” Mao burst, thrusting his face back into his knees.
Aki sighed, and pulled the other man against himself for a hug. Mao only cried for a little while longer before he pulled away and wiped his eyes again, looking embarrassed. Aki gave him a reassuring smile. “You’ll be fine. I know he’s your idol, but there are other fish in the sea. There’s somebody out there who thinks you’re amazing, who will love you and treat you with the proper respect.”
“But I don’t want anyone else,” Mao said stubbornly, reminding Aki vaguely of a teenage boy. “I’ve already loved Kyo for a long time, and now that I’ve spent time with him and experienced him, I can’t be with anyone else. I’d rather die alone.”
There was a pause while Aki considered what to say. “Um…but, Mao, you can’t love Kyo-san…”
“Why not?” Mao countered. “Why can’t I fall in love with him from knowing about him, knowing what he stands for? Why can’t one little weekend with him confirm that love?”
Aki wasn’t sure what to think. Could his friend have really fallen in love with his idol? Was there a chance he would suffer for a long time from just spending one weekend with him?
“I know it sounds stupid,” Mao said quietly, apparently understanding Aki’s silence. “But I really think I do love him.”
His eyes sparkled with tears again, and Aki again had the overwhelming feeling of uncertainty. He didn’t know what to think or do… He’d never seen Mao in such a state, and that alone seemed to tell him that maybe he really was in love with the other singer. He gave his friend a smile and stood up. “Why don’t you have a day to yourself, Mao-kun. I’ll go back inside and tell the others that practice is cancelled. Tomorrow is Saturday, though, so we’re going to take you out and have some fun, okay?”
“I don’t want to have any fun,” Mao said, standing as well.
Aki put an arm around his shoulders, giving them a squeeze. “You can’t stop living because of this, Mao.”
But Mao pulled away, casting Aki a glare. “You don’t know anything about it!”
With that, he marched away without so much as a backward glance. Aki sighed and rubbed his forehead before heading back into the studio. Dir en grey was again blaring from the practice room, but this time two more guitars accompanied the song while Tsurugi and Mizuki played along. Kei was sitting at his drum set, texting someone with his phone, and he looked up when Aki reentered. Tsurugi reached over to turn off the stereo, and Mizuki said, “Well?”
Aki shook his head. “Practice is cancelled for today. Mao’s in a right state… He thinks he’s in love with Kyo-san.”
The other three exchanged glances and then Tsurugi said, “Well, obviously that’s ridiculous.”
“Why?” Kei piped, crossing his arms over his chest. “Love is still the greatest mystery on this planet, so how can you presume to know all its secrets?”
Tsurugi blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t, I’m just saying… Well, doesn’t it seem ridiculous? Anyway, we don’t really know if this whole thing with Kyo-san ever even happened. Maybe Mao’s just…”
“Going crazy,” Mizuki supplied, scratching his head thoughtfully.
“He’s not going crazy,” Aki said with a sigh. “He was crying, you guys. I think it really did happen. Of course, there’s one way we can know for sure…”
* * * * *
Mao closed his apartment door, resenting how loud it seemed when it clicked shut. His apartment was a mess, reflecting the state of his heart, reflecting all the turmoil he was feeling. There was a rather hallow feeling in the pit of his stomach, and it was no surprise to him that he wasn’t hungry enough for some lunch-again.
He sighed and made his way over to the futon, flopping down on it and burying his face in the pillow. He was so frustrated with himself for taking the incident with Kyo so hard, but he couldn’t help it. “I know I love him,” he said into the pillow before turning onto his side. “And if fame only produces heartache…well, maybe I don’t want it. Any of it.”
He stared at a spot on the floor, reliving his date with Kyo again in his mind. It was something he was fond of doing, however it hurt him more. He still couldn’t believe it had happened-almost wished that it hadn’t. Kyo had been so kind, and he was so experienced… Their conversations had been fun, and one had even been a deeper subject. Kyo spoke with such conviction about the things he believed in… It had made Mao’s skin tingle. Of course, in the area of tingling skin nothing could make him shiver more than feeling Kyo’s warm breath on his neck while his hands explored every inch of his torso… Kyo was very good at love-making-good enough to make Mao moan and whimper, good enough to make him beg to be taken hard and fast with no regard for the pain…
Mao was very aware of his hand undoing the buckle of his belt, but he pretended not to be. He always felt worse after masturbating with Kyo on his mind, but at the same time, he felt as though his hormones were insane. Just thinking of Kyo for a brief moment, just looking at him for five seconds, and his cock stiffened, begged to be touched.
He reached into his underwear and grabbed himself, letting out a harsh breath as he started to move his hand up and down. His hand was nothing compared to feeling Kyo’s, of course, but he still knew himself, still knew what he liked and how to please himself. He arched into his hand as it moved faster, pausing once or twice just to swipe a thumb over the tip, whimpering from the feeling.
He squeezed his eyes shut, clearly picturing Kyo moving above him, his muscles contorting with each of his thrusts, his eyes ablaze with lust, soft pants leaving his mouth, his sweaty hair sticking to his neck… Mao moaned and went faster, his other hand slipping into his underwear as well, the index finger prodding at his entrance. Kyo was going faster, harder… He bent down to kiss Mao ferociously; Mao surrendered to him, arching up into him, pleading with soft sounds for Kyo to end it before it became too much. Kyo’s mouth moved along his cheek, pausing at his ear to whisper the words he wished so badly he could hear: “I love you.”
Mao turned his face into his pillow as he moaned Kyo’s name, his body going rigid with orgasm. His hand slowed its movements and his breathing slowly returned to normal. At last he pulled his hands out of his pants, and gave another shuddering sob, disgusted with himself for his inability to get over the older man.
* * * * *
The other four members of Sadie stared up at Dir en grey’s recording studio with gawking faces and wide open maws. Kei was the first to speak, stating the obvious: “It’s big.”
The others all nodded, and then Aki said, “Well, we didn’t come all this way for nothing.”
More nodding, but everyone still stayed put. At long last Aki took a step forward, and the other three followed him nervously into the building. It was a very nice studio, too, and they marveled at it. They were in some sort of reception room. A waterfall was positioned against a wall, pouring water into a little stone pool. There were chairs for people to sit in while they waited, and a young man was sitting behind a little desk, twirling a bunch of keys on a keychain. He stood up when they came in, but did not return the smile that Aki gave him. “I’m sorry, but visitors aren’t allowed unless specially permitted by certain people.”
“Then what is the waiting room for?” Asked Tsurugi.
“Please state your name and business,” the man added, glancing between the four of them, his gaze lingering on Mizuki and his exposed belly.
Mizuki raised an annoyed eyebrow at him, but Aki gave another smile and said, “Oh, we’re here to see Kyo-sama of Dir en grey.”
There was a stunted silence during which the man looked between the four of them once more (his gaze again lingering on Mizuki), and then he burst into laughter. He laughed hard, and wouldn’t stop until several minutes had gone by. At long last he grinned at Aki and said, “Are you some kind of idiot!? Kyo-sama does not receive visitors at the studio-everybody knows that! The only time he ever has visitors is when he personally brings them in himself! Look, I’ve turned away millions of fangirls (and fanboys), so what makes you think you’re any better?”
“Well, for one thing, we’re neither fangirls nor fanboys,” Aki said peevishly. “For another thing, I’m sure Kyo-sama will want to see us, since he screwed our friend.”
“I don’t blame him; she’s very pretty,” the man said, his gaze once again flying over to Mizuki.
Mizuki gave an almighty gasp and almost said something, but Kei stepped on his foot and Tsurugi slapped a hand over his mouth. Aki grinned widely. “Oh, you like her, do you? Well, she might like you, too, if you let us go see Kyo-san.”
The man rubbed his chin, looking between them. “I would get in trouble. They like the fans, don’t get me wrong, but they hate it when they try to visit them at the studio. Besides, I’m pretty sure they’re having some important meeting right now…”
“We’re not fans,” Aki burst, though it was true they admired Dir en grey like awed little children. “We’re in the music business, too! Anyway, Mizuki here is a very good kisser.”
Mizuki shot him a glare. The young man smiled at him, though, and then said to Aki, “Fine, you have ten minutes, but she stays here.”
Mizuki’s jaw dropped and he opened his mouth to argue, but again, Kei stomped down on his foot, and Tsurugi clapped a hand over his mouth. “It’s a deal!” He grinned.
He, Kei and Aki hurried through the door to the innards of the studio while Mizuki was left to deal with the young man.
They weren’t really sure where to go, but they didn’t have to look for long. Almost immediately after they went through the door, they saw a conference room to their right. They knew it was a conference room because huge windows that looked into the hallway told them as much. All five members of Dir en grey sat in there, along with three men in suits, and a woman who was seemingly ignoring everyone, though she was writing avidly on a clipboard.
The three just stared into the conference room, looking much like they had when they’d arrived at the studio. One of the men in suits finally took notice of them, and when he did, everyone else in the room turned to look as well. Kei smiled, Aki bowed low, and Tsurugi waved madly. One of the men said something, and then Kaoru got up from his chair and left the conference room.
They knew Kaoru-he was the often stony faced leader of the band, and one of the guitarists. Though he scared most people, they knew he had a dorky side, and sometimes he flaunted it. In fact, it was apparently one of those days, as he was wearing a baggy Gundam shirt, and glasses sat on the bridge of his nose. He shut the door behind him and cleared his throat before saying, “Hi, can I help you?”
“Actually, we need to talk to Kyo-san more than anyone else,” Aki said, bowing deeply with the other two. “But we can wait until you’re done.”
Kaoru sighed. “Well…I guess we are almost done, but what’s this about? Kyo didn’t seem to know you guys either.”
“He wouldn’t because he’s only met our vocalist-Mao,” Aki explained.
Kaoru eyed them scrupulously for a moment, and then it seemed to click and he gasped. “Oh! Oh…okay, well, here’s what you need to do then: you see that first door down the hall on your left? That’s another conference room. Go on in there and we’ll join you when we’re done.”
“Okay,” Aki said with another bow. “Thank you, Kaoru-san.”
“Yes, thank you,” Kei said, bowing as well.
“Your hair looks great, Kaoru-san,” Tsurugi said with a grin and a bow.
Kaoru gave an awkward smile. “Right…thanks. We’ll be in there in a minute. I think there’s a coffee maker and all that, so go ahead and make yourselves at home.”
The three nodded, and watched as he went back into the conference room. They hurried down the hall to the door he had told them about, and found themselves inside what appeared to be a much smaller, much more private conference room. As soon as the door closed they all shrieked like fangirls, and then Tsurugi announced (as though they had no idea), “That was Kaoru-san of Dir en grey!”
Part 2 ---
Notes: 1) I had Tsurugi listening to the GAUZE album because I finally bought that one recently and I've concluded that it's ♥.
2) Personally, I see Aki as the father of the band. He certainly seems the most mature, and he seems to want to keep things in line and stuff. Besides, although they're all young men and they like to have fun, this story has angst in it so one of them has to be the serious one! XD
3) I really know nothing about how recording studios function--especially Japanese ones, and especially ones like Dir en grey's. So I just decided to wing it and have fun. ^^V
4) Oh yes, and for the sake of my regular Diru readers who may not know what Sadie look like (nor anything about them, for that matter), here is a link to the best Sadie fansite on the web:
綺麗な嘘.