september 17th. im back in the states. 46 more days. countdown.

waiting for someone to pick up. waiting for a message. its pathetic really. i shouldnt be so worried. at work. or wherever. its none of my business. i hear things. i dont want to listen. the communication lines are down. and i feel like im under attack.

if you hear this message.

answer.

i need back up.

i lost a finger today.

today was not very good at all.. work was lame. people at work are lame. the greatest day was postponed. understandable. i feel selfish. i feel ill. i feel sad. i felt hurt. i feel like a lot of things right now ( Read more... )

time to pull another all-nighter. i was playing return to castle wolfenstein over the internet. dial up sucks. and everyone who hosted a game had over thirty players. die all of them. i called alexis. she made me get off the phone. im not pissed. its four thirty am. and im going to be hurting tomorrow. i want to go to the shoppette and buy some ( Read more... )

i remember when i had friends. robot goes bleep bloop bleep. like that. we have an exercise. jumping jacks. and mopp four. i hate life. the noose is in the closet. i need to put some use to it. its almost seven am. and i dont think i will use the phone today. because im tired of being a nuisance. im tired of being a robot. bleep bloop bleep. its ( Read more... )

i went to the shoppette. i bought some ice cream. one of my good friends. chocolate. im starting breakout i think. i hate summer a lot. it makes me blow up. i sweat a great amount today. i laughed at matt making obscene gestures when he was making fun of a song. i almost passed out. it was great. you had to be there. watched the wheel earlier. some ( Read more... )

i spend my time waiting by the phone just to hear your voice.

its all for nothing when you dont even say a word.

i will be back. im back. now im gone. i am an inconvenience. i am patrick.

i want a twin. drunks are already outside. i killed a bird at work today. accidents happen when im weed wacking. i moved a bookshelf. i moved books. i drew pictures of cars. and drew blood. hearts are disgusting. and paper cuts are the worst. i hurt myself. i hurt feelings. i opened a book to the page that i was looking for. one try. one chance. ( Read more... )

work was not fun at all tonight. we didnt have much work to do. we just sat around and laughed at eachothers stories about past events. it was good. i like the one about the bird on fire the best. that was good. or my friend matts stories about how cheap he is with his wife but splurges on himself. its funny because she deserves it. i dont know ( Read more... )