i need you (but you don't need me)
i need you (but you don't need me)
For: doeiros
Rating: PG-13
Length: 6,880 words.
Summary: A hero is never without a villain, Luhan learns, but Kyungsoo discovers that maybe the villain needs a hero in their life too.
Luhan is a superhero. No, he’s not like superman, he doesn’t have a red cape or tight fitting spandex, or a chest that bulges with muscle. Actually, he looks like an ordinary guy. Well, other than the fact that he can fly, he has telekinesis, and that he’s incredibly smart. Well, logically, that is.
And with every superhero comes the counterpart supervillain. Cue Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo is the supervillain who opposes Luhan in the city. No, he’s not like the Joker or something like that. He too, looks like an ordinary guy, other than the fact that he can also fly, he has super strength, and control of the earth element. He also, like Luhan, is incredibly smart.
The two generally balance each other out. The city’s history can’t date back to a time where the two haven’t been clashing or fighting.
And the storyline is always the same, more or less.
Kyungsoo thinks up an evil scheme. He builds up his scheme for a few weeks, and the city enjoys a havoc free experience. Only Luhan senses something bad happening. Kyungsoo’s scheme is ready and he enacts his gigantic plan. The city panics. Play the superhero music, and Luhan comes flying in to save the day, successfully foiling Kyungsoo’s plans.
It’s been like this forever. Luhan can’t even remember a time where it hasn’t played out like this. Every one of Kyungsoo’s attempts at a bank robbery, kidnappings, plots to take over the city, plots to create a gigantic, crazy weapon to blow up cities, plans to take over the world, and all the other usual villain plans.
And every single time, Luhan, as the superhero, wins.
But lately, it’s becoming quite a strain. Kyungsoo’s plots seem to be growing bigger and bigger, each one after another even more extreme than before, and Luhan’s not sure if he can keep bearing the burden.
The last conflict, when Kyungsoo tried to take over the city, managing to take the mayor as hostage, Luhan nearly passed out at the end of the day as Kyungsoo was making his defeated retreat.
And that’s why, now, Luhan’s panting hard, hands on his knees, unable to even fly any longer. He’s not sure if Kyungsoo is getting stronger, or if he’s getting weaker, but he can’t seem to overcome Kyungsoo as easily anymore.
They’re facing one another on the roof of a building. Kyungsoo seems unscathed, but Luhan’s accumulated his share of bruises and scratches. They almost never fight fist-to-fist, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get hurt.
Kyungsoo is standing with his back to Luhan, facing the city scape at the edge of the flat apartment roof, and Luhan is standing behind. They sometimes have these periods where they talk, because they’re both tired and really can’t fight on without a little break.
“You know, Luhan,” Kyungsoo says, eyes distant, “It takes a lot. What we do, that is. A lot of energy, a lot of time, and all we do is clash. We clash, and we fight, and only one of us can win.”
“You’ve never won.” Luhan says, face tight. “And I won’t let you. I won’t let you get your hands on this city or the people. You’re just wasting your energy, doing this. You could do so much good, you know.”
Kyungsoo turns, so he’s facing Luhan now, and his face is expressionless. It’s unreadable, other than a glint in his eyes. “Isn’t that just more of a challenge, then? If I haven’t won yet, why would I give up?”
Luhan realizes that the glint in Kyungsoo’s eyes is a glint of determination.
Luhan’s actually quite surprised. He thought it had just been his imagination, but lately he’s been noticing how ambitious Kyungsoo is, how he’s so persistent, and how he won’t give up. It’s admirable, actually, even if Kyungsoo plays the ‘bad’ guy. Luhan thinks it’s a bit of a shame, that someone so gifted and hardworking would use their powers for evil things.
“Well, best of luck to you, Luhan.”
Luhan’s head snaps up, and he realizes that he’s been lost in his thoughts. He looks just in time to see Kyungsoo fly off, and then he’s gone. He’s gotten away.
“Shit.”
“Why do you do what you do? Why do bad things? Why kidnap people?”
Kyungsoo doesn’t reply. Luhan thinks the latter is just ignoring him, but another part of him thinks that Kyungsoo didn’t even hear him, too lost in his thoughts.
“Do you like it, Luhan? Being a superhero? Having powers?”
Luhan doesn’t know how to answer the sudden question, but it doesn’t seem like Kyungsoo was hoping for an answer.
“Do you remember when you first discovered your powers? Hell, I thought I was a freak. I couldn’t control any of it. Whenever I got mad, the entire neighborhood would tremble. When my grandfather died, the news stations were announcing a magnitude six earthquake, when it was really just me.”
There’s a silence, and Luhan’s not sure why Kyungsoo is telling him all these things.
“But you know what the worst thing is?”
Kyungsoo sighs. Luhan thinks he can actually hear some anguish.
“The worst feeling is having these powers, and not being able to save your family. The worst feeling is
outliving all your friends. The worst feeling is seeing all the people you know and love grow old and die, when you’re forever trapped in this youth.”
Luhan’s actually speechless. He doesn’t know what to say. Kyungsoo is an enigma, and he can’t seem to figure him out. He can’t seem to figure out what makes Kyungsoo tick, and what it is about his past that makes him so pained.
Yes, it’s true, that with these powers, you outlive normal human beings. It’s true that the people you love will grow old and die long before you do. But, Luhan’s learned to let go. He sees it as people simply having different times to go. He believes that his family and friends and loved ones are still there with him in his heart, so it’s never been a problem.
The next time they meet, it’s in an abandoned warehouse. They’re both tired, and they’re facing each other with the same stoic expressions as usual. But, Luhan looks softer, and Kyungsoo looks a little bit broken.
“How are you not angry, Luhan?”
“What do you mean?”
Luhan’s puzzled, and Kyungsoo’s expression gives way to nothing but the faintest hint of pain.
“These powers are a curse. Wouldn’t you agree? “
“No,” Luhan disagrees, and he’s being sincere. He can’t help but be a little passionate, because he truly believes that this is his chance to do something great. “They’re a gift. It’s a chance for us to make a difference in this world, to do something worthwhile and helpful. It’s-“
“NO! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE POWERS AND WATCH YOUR FAMILY BURN IN FLAMES IN FRONT OF YOU BECAUSE YOU DONO’T KNOW HOW TO USE THEM.” Kyungsoo all but screams, and he’s actually surprised by how he sounds. He’s taken aback by himself, and he takes a breath to calm himself, because he’s just let out his biggest secret. “They’re a curse. They’re a ‘gift’ I never wanted. These powers, I never wanted to have such useless gifts. Don’t you ever wonder why I always follow through with these useless, stereotypical villain plans?”
Luhan shakes his head. He’s never really thought about it, really. He never really questioned the things Kyungsoo did, just why . But now he realizes that questioning the what will probably give him answers to the why .
“I do these stupid, stupid plans, because if I’m going to be the bad guy,” Kyungsoo says, his voice surprisingly soft, “I might as well play the bad guy the best I can, rather than be bored, or be useless, or be forgotten.” Kyungsoo’s voice actually cracks, and he turns his back to Luhan, so Luhan can’t see his expression.
“I would do anything, just to keep from being forgotten.”
The following show-offs keep playing out the same way. Kyungsoo follows his plot, Luhan chases him down. They fight, and they talk. Usually, Luhan will win, but lately, they’ve been ending up with draws.
And each time, Luhan seems to be weakening a bit more. Part of it is physical, but part of it is mental too, because if he’s honest with himself, Kyungsoo always seems to be on his mind at the end of the day.
Kyungsoo’s on his mind because Luhan just can’t seem to shake the way he’s so persistent, so strong.
Luhan remembers how Kyungsoo seemed to accidentally let certain details slip when they spoke. He can remember the times so incredibly vividly that it feels like he’s still in the moment. And it pains him.
And more than anything else, Luhan wants to know about Kyungsoo’s family. He still remembers
Kyungsoo’s outburst, completely different from his normal, expressionless self.
Luhan thinks he might be feeling something for Kyungsoo, and he’s scared because he’s never felt this
way before, and he’s not even sure what these feelings are. He thinks that part of his weakness is that he’s possibly...falling for Kyungsoo, that his heart is keeping his mind from winning this battle.
He can’t help but be swayed by Kyungsoo’s hardships, because in a way, he can empathize and relate.
Luhan can remember the raw feelings of loss and sadness watching his parents grow old, he can remember the anguish he felt seeing his friends grow sickly and become elderly as he stayed youthful.
Luhan can’t help but understand the reasons for Kyungsoo’s actions, and it’s that understanding that is unlocking the padlock that’s keeping his heart gated.
It’s the next time they meet that Luhan realizes that he’s fallen for Kyungsoo.
Luhan realizes that he loves Kyungsoo, and his heart is too stubborn to change.
“You don’t have to do this,” Luhan pants, because he’s losing the physical battle to Kyungsoo. He can’t seem to keep up, there’s dirt smeared on his cheek, and there’s a throbbing in his shoulder. “You don’t have to do these bad things. We could work together, we could make this city safe for everyone. We could do so many great things together.”
Luhan’s been saying these words a long time now, trying to convince Kyungsoo to leave the villainous world and join him to do positive things in the world.
And every time, Kyungsoo ignores him, or reiterates how his powers are a curse meant to do harm, and never good, that his powers have only brought him pain and anguish, and that the world deserves to feel the same. Kyungsoo says that he’s a black hole, and that he’s only going to fade deeper and deeper, and he’s going to keep dragging people down with him.
But today, Kyungsoo snaps.
“You need to shut up, because you don’t know the first thing about me. You have no right to tell me what to do, because you don’t understand me in the slightest.” Kyungsoo snarls and it’s the meanest he’s ever sounded. His tone is sour with disgust, and the expression on his face mirrors that.
Kyungsoo steps forwards until his own face is inches from Luhan’s, and he pokes a finger to Luhan’s chest. “You don’t understand, that you need me.” Kyungsoo’s finger is painfully digging into Luhan’s flesh, and Luhan has to step back.
Luhan is overwhelmed by the sudden aura of strength Kyungsoo has taken on, and most of all, he’s in complete shock, because in all his years of clashing with Kyungsoo, he has never , seen the latter like this.
And Kyungsoo keeps pushing Luhan back.
“You need me, because heroes like you are nothing without a villain like me. Without a villain like me, you’re useless .”
Luhan’s back has hit a wall, and Kyungsoo’s fingers are woven into the fabric of Luhan’s shirt. His hands are trembling, and he gives Luhan one last shove.
‘You’re useless without me. And you’re only in my way.”
And before Luhan can even blink and get a grasp of the situation, Kyungsoo’s gone.
And when Luhan feels the pain, it’s not from where his back had hit the wall, or where Kyungsoo’s hands had definitely left bruises and marks on his body. It’s in his chest, in his heart, because the words hurt more than anything else.
Luhan can still hear it in his ears, Kyungsoo snarling at him, Kyungsoo speaking to him with disgust.
That hurts the most of all, and that’s how Luhan knows.
That’s how Luhan knows he’s fallen for Kyungsoo.
And that’s how Luhan knows he’s fallen too hard, too far, for Kyungsoo.
Luhan and Kyungsoo have a weird relationship.
The thing about them is that they both know one another’s limits very well. So well that one of them could have easily ended the other by this point with their superpowers, but both of them are holding back. They’re holding back just enough, pushing just enough and pulling back at just the right times, so nobody gets hurt. Maybe a little tired or a few scratches, but they’d never let it become fatal or dangerous.
That’s the weirdest thing, because they’re not even fully conscious that they’re holding back at all.
One day, when they’re fighting, Luhan gets hurt, even though he shouldn’t have at all.
Kyungsoo is using his strength, and he’s using his earth elemental powers to hurl chunks that Luhan would normally easily dodge or use his telekinesis to move aside, but Luhan’s fallen too far in love and his skills have dropped off. He’s unfocused and his mind is not on combat or protecting himself.
And even though Luhan should not have gotten hurt, the giant mound of earth manages to hit heavily on his left shoulder. The impact is a loud, dull sound, and Luhan is left staggering.
Kyungsoo is surprised that his attack actually hit, and his normally stoic face gives way to an expression of pure shock, and for a split second, worry.
Kyungsoo’s mind is a flurry of questions. He can’t really see clearly because he’s brewed up a dust-storm with his powers. Did he hit Luhan? Is Luhan staggering? Is he actually hurt?
And then Kyungsoo realizes what he’s thinking, and the worry he’s feeling frightens him, because this is something he’s never felt before. Before the thought scares him even more, Kyungsoo runs from the scene, because all he’s ever done with his problems is run.
Kyungsoo realizes that he no longer wants to hurt others. He realizes that his rage from his past isn’t solved by hurting the world, or hurting others. A part of him acknowledges that he was wrong to try and hurt others, but another part of him is still angry, because where is the justice he deserves?
When his school mates started calling him a freak and isolating him because he couldn’t control his powers, where was his justice? When people isolated his family too, where was his justice? And where was the justice for his family, who still loved him unconditionally?
Kyungsoo realizes that all these ‘villainous’ actions are just a show. He’s making flashy explosions and causing harmless mayhem. It’s all a front.
The next time they meet, Kyungsoo thinks Luhan might actually be...hurt? He might be a little sick? He thinks Luhan looks a little weak, a little pale. He thinks Luhan might be staggering a little when he walks, and it’s strange because Luhan usually flies.
Kyungsoo thinks he sees Luhan grasping his shoulder from time to time, but he can’t be sure unless he asks, and he’s definitely not going to ask.
Luhan tries to hide the fact that he’s injured. His shoulder shoots pain through his body every time he moves, but he can’t show it to anybody, especially Kyungsoo. He thinks that if Kyungsoo knew he was injured, it would only serve as a gaping opportunity for the latter to take over the city, or follow through with whatever plan he has in store.
Kyungsoo tries to act like he always does in front of Luhan, the cold and expressionless façade up at all times with the occasional snarky comment weaved in between. But, Kyungsoo tones down the attacks.
He’s not using his powers so much, not hitting so strongly, giving Luhan the opportunity to dodge.
He can’t drop his act. But, at this point, he’s only carrying out his ‘plan’ out of obligation.
Kyungsoo likes to spend his time alone, and he has a special spot. It’s the roof of an apartment building at the city limit, because he likes the view he gets. He can watch the sunset, the oranges, reds, and yellows, outline the city scape, and it’s absolutely breathtaking.
One evening, he’s surprised to see Luhan already there, sitting where he usually sits.
To say the least, Kyungsoo’s a bit flustered, because he was so sure that only he knew about this spot and that nobody else knew he came here. Yet, Luhan’s definitely here, he thinks, with a faraway look in his eyes as he observes the sunset. Kyungsoo thinks that Luhan looks a little wiser.
“What are y-you doing here?”
Kyungsoo clears his throat, trying to pretend he didn’t just stutter and that he’s not surprised, and he takes a seat, not too close, not too far to Luhan.
And Luhan ignores his question. Kyungsoo’s surprised because Luhan is tearing his gaze away from the sunset to look him with the softest look of sincerity he’s ever seen.
“Don’t do it, Kyungsoo. You really don’t have to.”
Kyungsoo’s frozen. Completely, entirely, frozen.
He’s never noticed how soft Luhan’s features are, how pretty his eyes are, how cute his little nose and lips are.
Kyungsoo catches himself staring, and he snaps himself out of it immediately.
“I-I have no idea what y-you’re talking about.” Kyungsoo stammers, and he tries to cover the fact that he’s flustered with more questions. “How did you even know I was here? You better go before I make you leave.”
Kyungsoo’s threat is weak and empty.
Luhan’s still soft despite how sharp Kyungsoo is trying to be to him. Luhan can’t help but smile a little, his expressions still kind, because he’s in love with Kyungsoo, and he’s accepted it. His expressions are still kind because he believes that Kyungsoo could change his mind, could stray away from evil.
“Of course I knew you were here,” Luhan murmurs softly under his breath, and the words accidentally slip from his lips.
“What?” Kyungsoo asks before he can think, not sure if he actually heard the words or if he imagined them. Nonetheless, Kyungsoo feels a heat rushing to his cheeks, and he might actually be blushing, so he turns his head away in an attempt to hide it.
“You really don’t have to, Kyungsoo.” There’s affection laced into Luhan’s voice, and Kyungsoo’s head snaps toward Luhan again because he’s unbelievably surprised.
But, Luhan’s already gone, darting into the evening sun.
Kyungsoo’s unbelievably confused, and he wants to go back on his plan. He doesn’t really want to play the bad guy anymore, he doesn’t want to fight Luhan anymore.
But he can’t go back now, because what kind of super villain would that make him? If he can’t even live up to the name he’s established for himself, what kind of person is he?
Finally, it’s the day for Kyungsoo’s grand master plan. He’s on the roof of a government building setting up, because he expects Luhan to be there later that day to stop him in the nick of time, like how all his past schemes have been foiled.
Kyungsoo’s been thinking that maybe today, in addition to losing on purpose, (though he’s sure Luhan would never let him win even if he tried), he’ll announce the end. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to be the villain anymore, he doesn’t want to be the bad guy. He’ll let Luhan defeat him once and for all in front of the public, and he’ll disappear forever.
And to make sure the public sees, Kyungsoo let slip some information on where and when his scheme was to take place.
It’s dangerous while Kyungsoo sets up, because there are some carefully planted explosives that are really just for show, but he needs to move things so they don’t become dangerous shrapnel.
But, Kyungsoo’s surprised because all of a sudden, Luhan is there when he shouldn’t be, and he doesn’t know of the explosives.
“Kyungsoo, please,” Luhan says, eyes locked onto Kyungsoo, whose eyes are completely in a state of surprise and panic, and Luhan keeps stepping forward. “You don’t have to do this, really. We can work together or something, or you can be the good guy of the city. You don’t have to do this all alone.”
The words aren’t being processed by Kyungsoo because he’s frozen. His lips won’t move, his body won’t move, his mind won’t move, because Luhan is about to step on one of the explosives.
And then when Luhan steps, it’s like Kyungsoo is seeing everything in slow motion. There’s a bright flash of light and a deafening bang that follows as Luhan’s body is thrown up and back. Some of the metal machines on the roof get caught up in the following chain reaction of explosions, and shrapnel is flying everywhere.
Kyungsoo panics when the dust settles and he can’t hear the public’s shouts of worry that their resident superhero has fallen, and he can’t hear the sounds of a large crowd gathering, because Luhan is limp on the ground and oh god, he thinks, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Luhan wasn’t supposed to be here early, Luhan wasn’t supposed to get hurt.
Luhan was supposed to come later and disarm the bombs that Kyungsoo would have made more obvious. Luhan was supposed to come out unscathed and Luhan was supposed to win and Kyungsoo would lose, and Kyungsoo was supposed to disappear forever and the media would love Luhan forever, but no, that’s not what happened.
Kyungsoo’s by Luhan’s side in less than a split second. There’s a giant, sharp piece of metal debris embedded in Luhan’s shoulder, and Kyungsoo gasps, because there’s already pre-existing bruises. It means that Luhan had actually gotten hurt earlier, and now he’s hurt again in the same spot, and the pain must be excruciating, Kyungsoo thinks.
“Oh god oh god oh god, no no no,” Kyungsoo blubbers, and his stoic façade is melting away to reveal his inner personality. Kyungsoo’s actually on the verge of crying because he’s panicked and he doesn’t know what to do. His hands are hovering over Luhan’s injury, his entire body trembling. “No, no no no, Luhan, no, this wasn’t supposed to happen, this wasn’t supposed to happen, oh god no.”
Luhan’s in a haze. He’d expected the pain to be unbearable, but he really can’t feel anything. He thinks that his body must be going into shock. He almost laughs because having superpowers won’t necessarily stop you from dying.
Luhan can’t really hear anything. All that he knows is that Kyungsoo is kneeling next to his body, and he knows that he’s bleeding out. Luhan can see spots of black dotting his vision, and he knows he’s going to pass out. His breaths are unbelievably shallow, and the wound must be really close to his heart or his major arteries, because even breathing is becoming a task.
Luhan can barely see, but he thinks he sees Kyungsoo crying. It must not be true, he thinks, because this is his arch nemesis. Why would his arch nemesis cry over his death? Wouldn’t it be something to celebrate over?
“Kill me, Kyungsoo,” Luhan gasps out, barely able to speak. “It’s your chance...t-take it.”
Kyungsoo’s eyes widen. He can’t believe what Luhan is saying.
“What?! Are you out of your mind?!” Kyungsoo blurts, but he panics because he’s still supposed to be putting up a façade, he panics because he’s not about to reveal his feelings. “I mean...uh, h-hang on, Luhan, because I n-need a superhero to oppose me. Every villain needs a superhero, r-right? So y-you can’t die, okay?” Kyungsoo was supposed to pretend like he only needed Luhan because he’s his counterpart, but he sounds like he’s begging for Luhan to live and stay at the end.
Kyungsoo sounds like he’s pleading just for Luhan to hang on.
Luhan’s eyes are sad now, and it scares Kyungsoo because he can’t read what Luhan is thinking at all.
“Y-you know, Kyungsoo,” Luhan gasps, and one hand is coming up weakly. Somehow, he manages to put it on Kyungsoo’s cheek, and Luhan likes the way his skin feels beneath his fingertips. “I’ve b-been so tired lately. I c-couldn’t keep u-up with all your s-schemes like I used to, and f-for the longest time,
I couldn’t f-figure out why.” Luhan takes a shuddering breath, and he doesn’t notice the way that his hand is now clasped tightly in Kyungsoo’s own hands because he’s too busy fighting for every breath.
“And then I f-figured it out.”
Kyungsoo is patient as he waits for Luhan’s words, because he has the gut feeling that this is more important than anything else right now.
“It’s b-because I’m in l-love with you, Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo freezes. There’s no way, he thinks, that Luhan is in love with him. They’re enemies, for crying out loud! He can’t believe it, his mind won’t let him believe it, but his heart is saying its true because it’s beating hard in his chest and there are butterflies in his stomach.
“And y-you’re right. W-without a villain, a s-superhero is useless...b-but without a superhero, th-the villain can be all th-they want and d-do anything they w-want.”
Luhan is now smiling so softly that Kyungsoo thinks his heart might just be shattering, because how can someone look so perfect and beautiful when they’re bleeding to death?
“All this time,” Luhan gasps, wheezing with every breath, “All this time, I’ve needed you, but you’ve never needed me.” Luhan seems to be fading more and more, and it’s clear that he’s fighting hard to stay conscious. “I k-know it’s s-selfish, b-but I w-want you to be h-happy being the v-villain o-of this city, doing a-as you please...e-even if it m-means the c-city will suffer.”
Luhan musters up all his energy for one last smile. Even though he’s weak and the smile is soft, it contains all the energy he has left, and then his eyes are fluttering shut, and he’s gone.
“Oh god, Luhan,” Kyungsoo whispers, and it sounds like a whimper. Kyungsoo finally realizes that maybe he really does love Luhan back, and that he’s worried because he cares for Luhan, not because he needs a superhero to oppose him.
Kyungsoo only snaps out of his shock and his thoughts when he hears the dull roar of a chattering crowd. He catches bits and pieces of their conversation, and it sounds gloomy.
“Is that the end, then?”
“Does this mean we’ll have a villain ruling the city now?”
“Who’s going to protect us now that Luhan is...d-dead?”
Dead?
Kyungsoo looks at the body lying limp in his arms and he checks for a pulse. He expects nothing, but it’s there. It’s faint, and it’s dying, but it’s there.
In a panic, Kyungsoo leans down to check for breaths too, and he puts two fingers just above Luhan’s soft lips, and when he feels a shaky inhale and exhale, his hopes skyrocket.
Luhan’s not dead.
Kyungsoo scoops the limp body as carefully as possible, but also as quickly as possible. In a matter of just moments, Kyungsoo is flying off into the distance towards the mountains, a dying Luhan cradled carefully in his embrace.
The public are ready to spread the news that Luhan has died and Kyungsoo, the villain, will have control of the city, but they’re surprised when they look up. They see Kyungsoo carrying Luhan, and anyone can tell that Kyungsoo’s taking care to be gentle, and it’s obvious that Kyungsoo is helping Luhan. The super villain is helping the super hero.
Some citizens are pulled over by the news station reporters, and the say that they think they saw the villain shedding tears. That they saw Luhan fall, and that Kyungsoo was by his side in an instant. They thought Kyungsoo was going to end it, but instead they saw the villain flying off with Luhan in his arms.
When Luhan wakes up, his vision is so incredibly bleary that he blinks for what seems like an eternity before he looks around.
It takes a moment for Luhan to even remember what happened. All he remembers is the sound of an explosion, being thrown back, and a deep throbbing in his left shoulder. Everything after that is blurry.
He thinks, he remembers someone, next to his body, but for some reason, he can’t remember the face, he can’t remember who it was.
Luhan realizes that he’s on his back in an incredibly comfortable bed, so he can already tell he’s not in the hospital, though he does know he was incredibly injured. Luhan tries to sit up, but then there’s a shooting pain rushing through his body from his shoulder. He feels a little chill because he realizes that he’s shirtless, and his skin is exposed other than the heavy duty bandages wrapped securely around his left shoulder.
Luhan looks around again, and he seems to be in a bedroom. It’s cozy, and all the colors are warm and dark, with soothing shades of browns and highlights of soft reds. He really likes the room, actually. There curtains are drawn open, giving him a view outside, and it’s simply breathtaking. There are no other buildings in sight. Just some rocky terrain and beautiful forests.
And then memories and realizations are hitting Luhan like a train, because it’s all coming back. He remembers Kyungsoo kneeling over his body, and he remembers confessing. He’s not sure if seeing Kyungsoo was just his imagination or not, but he’s pretty sure that he remembers being in Kyungsoo’s secure arms, flying in the air.
And so, Luhan figures that he’s in Kyungsoo’s home. He also gets the vibe that this must be Kyungsoo’s home, because every aspect of this room, every little detail in the design and the way things are placed, and even the fact that his window’s view reveals a beautiful downwards mountainous slope, it all screams Kyungsoo. It’s minimalistic, yet warm and homey, the furniture is unbelievably modern and chic, yet the throw pillows are cute and bright.
Luhan carefully moves the blankets off his legs, and he’s a little surprised, because the pants on his legs are definitely not what he was wearing before. He’s now in a pair of soft, blue pajama pants. He thinks that Kyungsoo must have helped treat him, and to change his clothes. Luhan almost blushes, but the pain distracts him because even moving just a bit brings him excruciating pain.
Luhan manages to stand and walk, but the pain is so severe that he’s staggering with every step. He makes it out of the bedroom and into a corridor. He can’t walk without using the wall as a support, and he smiles because the home is so warm and it seems perfect. There are paintings on the wall, and Luhan stops to take a break because he really can’t go on, even though he’s only made it a few steps from his room.
He thinks it’s Kyungsoo as a child, and Luhan smiles, because he looks almost exactly the same.
And as Luhan sets off to walk forwards again, the pain is so intense and concentrated that his vision is going blurry, and his head is spinning.
And before Luhan can even get a grip on what’s happening, he’s crashing painfully to the wooden floor.
Kyungsoo is humming a light tune with a bin of laundry in his arms (because super villains are people too) when he sees Luhan crumpled in an uncomfortable heap on the ground. He drops everything all at once, Luhan’s jeans and his once-bloodied shirt now clean and spilling all over the floor.
It only takes a moment for Kyungsoo to be kneeling beside Luhan, turning him so that he’s on his back, and he’s completely panicking. His eyes are wide with fright, and he’s both careful and quick to pick up Luhan’s frail body into his arms, cradling him close.
“Shit! What are you doing?!” Kyungsoo blurts, his arms shaking slightly as he stands. He says nothing else as he carries Luhan back to the bedroom, laying him carefully back down onto the bed sheets.
Luhan is conscious but everything is very bleary. When Kyungsoo has Luhan situated comfortably, that’s when he lets the rush of words spill from his lips.
“Do you know how hard it was to bandage you up?” Kyungsoo scolds, his worry showing through his
words, “I have no fucking idea how to treat injured people, okay? Can you imagine it? A giant metal piece embedded in your shoulder, inches away from your heart? I don’t know what I’d do if you died, and fuck, I’m not letting you die after having to go through all that. God, do you know how long you were even unconscious for? Oh god, did you reopen your wound? Is it bleeding? Do you feel faint? Are you okay? Do you need water?”
Kyungsoo’s rush of questions reveals just how worried he is for Luhan, and he’s trying to look for anything that might make Luhan more comfortable, because he just wants Luhan to live and be okay.
Luhan, on the other hand, is still a little bleary, especially because he had lost a lot of blood, when he regains his grasp on reality, he’s completely startled, and his eyes widen in surprise. Luhan is surprised because Kyungsoo is actually caring for him.
“A-are you...helping me?” Luhan asks, interrupting Kyungsoo’s flow of worried questions. His bewilderment must be obvious, because in an instant, Kyungsoo is reverting back to his cold façade, too embarrassed to be truthful.
“What? No! Of course not! Why would I be helping you?” Kyungsoo blurts, and it’s completely obvious
that he’s lying, and he’s lying very poorly.
Before Luhan can say any more, Kyungsoo is standing, about to leave.
“There’s water and pain killers on your bed stand. I don’t care if you don’t like it, because you’re going to eat it. And you’re not leaving this bed.”
And then Kyungsoo is swiftly out of the room, leaving Luhan in a state of a daze. At first, Luhan is surprised by the sudden cold demeanor, but then he really thinks, rather than being ignorant.
He thinks that Kyungsoo is making him food, and the fact that he’s even alive when he told Kyungsoo, he told Kyungsoo, to finish him off. Luhan can’t help but smile because no matter how cold Kyungsoo is to him, he can’t really see any negative sides to him at all.
Luhan knows Kyungsoo told him not to leave the bed, but he’s fidgety and it’s too boring, so he stands, even if it’s just to walk around. It’s still painful, but it’s not nearly as intense as earlier because he’s taken the painkiller Kyungsoo left him.
There’s a newspaper on the table in the room, and he picks it up with interest. Noting the date, Luhan realizes that he must have been unconscious for more than 24 hours. The headlines read ‘SUPERHERO LUHAN MISSING; LAST SEEN WITH SUPERVILLAIN KYUNGSOO’
Luhan cocks his head in curiosity, sitting himself back down onto the bed with the paper in hand, because even standing for a little while is enough to drain his energy. A part of him laughs internally, because what super hero can’t even stand for more than a few moments.
Luhan reads the article, and he smiles because there’s a picture of him in Luhan’s arms, and it’s obvious that Kyungsoo was rescuing him, was saving his life. Somehow, Kyungsoo pulled Luhan away from death’s grasp.
And then Luhan reads some quotes from the citizens who saw what happened first hand, and he’s surprised to read one of them. The witness talks about how Kyungsoo picked up and took care of Luhan so incredibly gently, and how she thinks she saw tears streaming down Kyungsoo’s features.
Luhan softens at this, and he can’t help but chuckle. He would have never guessed about Kyungsoo having a side like this to him, but another side of him also sincerely believes that this is Kyungsoo’s true character.
Later, Luhan hears a soft knock on his door, and he scrambles back into his bed. He had been gazing out the window at the sunset, but he remembered how Kyungsoo scolded him earlier, and he definitely did not want to be scolded again.
Kyungsoo enters just as Luhan’s pulling the covers back up, and Kyungsoo raises a suspicious eyebrow before setting the dinner tray down onto the bedside table. He’s about to set a stand on Luhan’s lap so he can eat while in bed, but Luhan shoves the newspaper under his nose first. He’s waving it so quickly that Kyungsoo can’t figure out what it is at first, but then he understands.
“What’s this?” Luhan asks, eyes wide and innocent on purpose just to get under Kyungsoo’s skin.
“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo feigns ignorance, pretending not to care, even when it’s right in front of his face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But then he’s trying to snatch it away when Luhan’s not paying attention, but Luhan anticipated this and pulls it from Kyungsoo’s grasp at the last second.
Kyungsoo keeps flailing in his attempts to snatch it away, but Luhan’s using his telekinesis to keep it out of his reach. Luhan clearly has the upper hand, and Kyungsoo keeps failing to grab it.
“Look at how carefully you’re holding me in the picture,” Luhan teases, raising the newspaper high until it’s just out of Kyungsoo’s reach. Kyungsoo tries to jump and grab it, but Luhan only raises it higher. “Did you really cry while you held me? How sweet, Kyungsoo. I didn’t know you had it in you. It would be so
romantic, if only I were still conscious. You, flying off into the distance, with me in your arms. Wouldn’t that be cute?”
Luhan’s teasing reduces Kyungsoo into a blushing mess, and in his frenzy to defend himself, Kyungsoo starts to blabber the first thing and everything that comes to mind.
“Shut up! I was just sorta kinda worried, okay? I’m just kinda sorta worried about you all the time, that’s
completely normal! Shut up! I kinda think of you all the time and I can’t get you off my mind no matter how I try, and just because my heart starts to beat really fast in my chest whenever you’re too close doesn’t mean anything, okay!” Kyungsoo shouts, eyes shut and his face scrunched up slightly in the cutest way.
There’s a silence, so quiet that the sounds of their breathing pierce the air. It’s only broken by the sound of a newspaper hitting the ground somewhere, and when Kyungsoo opens his eyes, he sees an expressionless Luhan.
And then Luhan breaks out into the biggest grin Kyungsoo thinks he’s ever seen, and it’s enough to get Kyungsoo blushing again.
Luhan is pleasantly surprised by Kyungsoo’s rather unconventional and accidental confession, because all this time, he’s thought that Kyungsoo hated him or something, or that the feelings he had would only end in a one sided love or something.
Luhan’s grin won’t seem to fade, and Kyungsoo is very embarrassed, in addition to confused.
“Wh-what? S-stop looking at me l-like that...I-i...” Kyungsoo stammers, at a loss for words.
And all of a sudden, Kyungsoo feels himself being pulled down by Luhan’s arms, and he flails, nearly knocking down the dinner he prepared, but Luhan’s one step ahead, because he uses his telekinesis to set it back onto the table. He wonders when Luhan regained so much strength, but he realizes that he isn’t fighting in the embrace. If anything, Kyungsoo is unconsciously leaning into it.
And then Kyungsoo panics, his mind trying to tell himself to push away, but his body is not obeying at all.
“Wait, let go! I don’t want to hurt you again...your shoulder is still injured, and it’s still dangerous and-“ Luhan cuts Kyungsoo off with a kiss.
It’s simple, just their lips touching, but then it’s their lips pressing, insistently, and their hands are wandering a little bit. It’s finally Kyungsoo who pulls away, because their bodies are impossibly close, their legs are weaving together, and he can’t bear to hurt Luhan anymore.
And as if Luhan can read minds, he pecks Kyungsoo just once more.
“I don’t care if we’re this close. I know that you will never, ever, be able to hurt me again.”
For: doeiros
Rating: PG-13
Length: 6,880 words.
Summary: A hero is never without a villain, Luhan learns, but Kyungsoo discovers that maybe the villain needs a hero in their life too.
Luhan is a superhero. No, he’s not like superman, he doesn’t have a red cape or tight fitting spandex, or a chest that bulges with muscle. Actually, he looks like an ordinary guy. Well, other than the fact that he can fly, he has telekinesis, and that he’s incredibly smart. Well, logically, that is.
And with every superhero comes the counterpart supervillain. Cue Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo is the supervillain who opposes Luhan in the city. No, he’s not like the Joker or something like that. He too, looks like an ordinary guy, other than the fact that he can also fly, he has super strength, and control of the earth element. He also, like Luhan, is incredibly smart.
The two generally balance each other out. The city’s history can’t date back to a time where the two haven’t been clashing or fighting.
And the storyline is always the same, more or less.
Kyungsoo thinks up an evil scheme. He builds up his scheme for a few weeks, and the city enjoys a havoc free experience. Only Luhan senses something bad happening. Kyungsoo’s scheme is ready and he enacts his gigantic plan. The city panics. Play the superhero music, and Luhan comes flying in to save the day, successfully foiling Kyungsoo’s plans.
It’s been like this forever. Luhan can’t even remember a time where it hasn’t played out like this. Every one of Kyungsoo’s attempts at a bank robbery, kidnappings, plots to take over the city, plots to create a gigantic, crazy weapon to blow up cities, plans to take over the world, and all the other usual villain plans.
And every single time, Luhan, as the superhero, wins.
But lately, it’s becoming quite a strain. Kyungsoo’s plots seem to be growing bigger and bigger, each one after another even more extreme than before, and Luhan’s not sure if he can keep bearing the burden.
The last conflict, when Kyungsoo tried to take over the city, managing to take the mayor as hostage, Luhan nearly passed out at the end of the day as Kyungsoo was making his defeated retreat.
And that’s why, now, Luhan’s panting hard, hands on his knees, unable to even fly any longer. He’s not sure if Kyungsoo is getting stronger, or if he’s getting weaker, but he can’t seem to overcome Kyungsoo as easily anymore.
They’re facing one another on the roof of a building. Kyungsoo seems unscathed, but Luhan’s accumulated his share of bruises and scratches. They almost never fight fist-to-fist, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get hurt.
Kyungsoo is standing with his back to Luhan, facing the city scape at the edge of the flat apartment roof, and Luhan is standing behind. They sometimes have these periods where they talk, because they’re both tired and really can’t fight on without a little break.
“You know, Luhan,” Kyungsoo says, eyes distant, “It takes a lot. What we do, that is. A lot of energy, a lot of time, and all we do is clash. We clash, and we fight, and only one of us can win.”
“You’ve never won.” Luhan says, face tight. “And I won’t let you. I won’t let you get your hands on this city or the people. You’re just wasting your energy, doing this. You could do so much good, you know.”
Kyungsoo turns, so he’s facing Luhan now, and his face is expressionless. It’s unreadable, other than a glint in his eyes. “Isn’t that just more of a challenge, then? If I haven’t won yet, why would I give up?”
Luhan realizes that the glint in Kyungsoo’s eyes is a glint of determination.
Luhan’s actually quite surprised. He thought it had just been his imagination, but lately he’s been noticing how ambitious Kyungsoo is, how he’s so persistent, and how he won’t give up. It’s admirable, actually, even if Kyungsoo plays the ‘bad’ guy. Luhan thinks it’s a bit of a shame, that someone so gifted and hardworking would use their powers for evil things.
“Well, best of luck to you, Luhan.”
Luhan’s head snaps up, and he realizes that he’s been lost in his thoughts. He looks just in time to see Kyungsoo fly off, and then he’s gone. He’s gotten away.
“Shit.”
“Why do you do what you do? Why do bad things? Why kidnap people?”
Kyungsoo doesn’t reply. Luhan thinks the latter is just ignoring him, but another part of him thinks that Kyungsoo didn’t even hear him, too lost in his thoughts.
“Do you like it, Luhan? Being a superhero? Having powers?”
Luhan doesn’t know how to answer the sudden question, but it doesn’t seem like Kyungsoo was hoping for an answer.
“Do you remember when you first discovered your powers? Hell, I thought I was a freak. I couldn’t control any of it. Whenever I got mad, the entire neighborhood would tremble. When my grandfather died, the news stations were announcing a magnitude six earthquake, when it was really just me.”
There’s a silence, and Luhan’s not sure why Kyungsoo is telling him all these things.
“But you know what the worst thing is?”
Kyungsoo sighs. Luhan thinks he can actually hear some anguish.
“The worst feeling is having these powers, and not being able to save your family. The worst feeling is
outliving all your friends. The worst feeling is seeing all the people you know and love grow old and die, when you’re forever trapped in this youth.”
Luhan’s actually speechless. He doesn’t know what to say. Kyungsoo is an enigma, and he can’t seem to figure him out. He can’t seem to figure out what makes Kyungsoo tick, and what it is about his past that makes him so pained.
Yes, it’s true, that with these powers, you outlive normal human beings. It’s true that the people you love will grow old and die long before you do. But, Luhan’s learned to let go. He sees it as people simply having different times to go. He believes that his family and friends and loved ones are still there with him in his heart, so it’s never been a problem.
The next time they meet, it’s in an abandoned warehouse. They’re both tired, and they’re facing each other with the same stoic expressions as usual. But, Luhan looks softer, and Kyungsoo looks a little bit broken.
“How are you not angry, Luhan?”
“What do you mean?”
Luhan’s puzzled, and Kyungsoo’s expression gives way to nothing but the faintest hint of pain.
“These powers are a curse. Wouldn’t you agree? “
“No,” Luhan disagrees, and he’s being sincere. He can’t help but be a little passionate, because he truly believes that this is his chance to do something great. “They’re a gift. It’s a chance for us to make a difference in this world, to do something worthwhile and helpful. It’s-“
“NO! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE POWERS AND WATCH YOUR FAMILY BURN IN FLAMES IN FRONT OF YOU BECAUSE YOU DONO’T KNOW HOW TO USE THEM.” Kyungsoo all but screams, and he’s actually surprised by how he sounds. He’s taken aback by himself, and he takes a breath to calm himself, because he’s just let out his biggest secret. “They’re a curse. They’re a ‘gift’ I never wanted. These powers, I never wanted to have such useless gifts. Don’t you ever wonder why I always follow through with these useless, stereotypical villain plans?”
Luhan shakes his head. He’s never really thought about it, really. He never really questioned the things Kyungsoo did, just why . But now he realizes that questioning the what will probably give him answers to the why .
“I do these stupid, stupid plans, because if I’m going to be the bad guy,” Kyungsoo says, his voice surprisingly soft, “I might as well play the bad guy the best I can, rather than be bored, or be useless, or be forgotten.” Kyungsoo’s voice actually cracks, and he turns his back to Luhan, so Luhan can’t see his expression.
“I would do anything, just to keep from being forgotten.”
The following show-offs keep playing out the same way. Kyungsoo follows his plot, Luhan chases him down. They fight, and they talk. Usually, Luhan will win, but lately, they’ve been ending up with draws.
And each time, Luhan seems to be weakening a bit more. Part of it is physical, but part of it is mental too, because if he’s honest with himself, Kyungsoo always seems to be on his mind at the end of the day.
Kyungsoo’s on his mind because Luhan just can’t seem to shake the way he’s so persistent, so strong.
Luhan remembers how Kyungsoo seemed to accidentally let certain details slip when they spoke. He can remember the times so incredibly vividly that it feels like he’s still in the moment. And it pains him.
And more than anything else, Luhan wants to know about Kyungsoo’s family. He still remembers
Kyungsoo’s outburst, completely different from his normal, expressionless self.
Luhan thinks he might be feeling something for Kyungsoo, and he’s scared because he’s never felt this
way before, and he’s not even sure what these feelings are. He thinks that part of his weakness is that he’s possibly...falling for Kyungsoo, that his heart is keeping his mind from winning this battle.
He can’t help but be swayed by Kyungsoo’s hardships, because in a way, he can empathize and relate.
Luhan can remember the raw feelings of loss and sadness watching his parents grow old, he can remember the anguish he felt seeing his friends grow sickly and become elderly as he stayed youthful.
Luhan can’t help but understand the reasons for Kyungsoo’s actions, and it’s that understanding that is unlocking the padlock that’s keeping his heart gated.
It’s the next time they meet that Luhan realizes that he’s fallen for Kyungsoo.
Luhan realizes that he loves Kyungsoo, and his heart is too stubborn to change.
“You don’t have to do this,” Luhan pants, because he’s losing the physical battle to Kyungsoo. He can’t seem to keep up, there’s dirt smeared on his cheek, and there’s a throbbing in his shoulder. “You don’t have to do these bad things. We could work together, we could make this city safe for everyone. We could do so many great things together.”
Luhan’s been saying these words a long time now, trying to convince Kyungsoo to leave the villainous world and join him to do positive things in the world.
And every time, Kyungsoo ignores him, or reiterates how his powers are a curse meant to do harm, and never good, that his powers have only brought him pain and anguish, and that the world deserves to feel the same. Kyungsoo says that he’s a black hole, and that he’s only going to fade deeper and deeper, and he’s going to keep dragging people down with him.
But today, Kyungsoo snaps.
“You need to shut up, because you don’t know the first thing about me. You have no right to tell me what to do, because you don’t understand me in the slightest.” Kyungsoo snarls and it’s the meanest he’s ever sounded. His tone is sour with disgust, and the expression on his face mirrors that.
Kyungsoo steps forwards until his own face is inches from Luhan’s, and he pokes a finger to Luhan’s chest. “You don’t understand, that you need me.” Kyungsoo’s finger is painfully digging into Luhan’s flesh, and Luhan has to step back.
Luhan is overwhelmed by the sudden aura of strength Kyungsoo has taken on, and most of all, he’s in complete shock, because in all his years of clashing with Kyungsoo, he has never , seen the latter like this.
And Kyungsoo keeps pushing Luhan back.
“You need me, because heroes like you are nothing without a villain like me. Without a villain like me, you’re useless .”
Luhan’s back has hit a wall, and Kyungsoo’s fingers are woven into the fabric of Luhan’s shirt. His hands are trembling, and he gives Luhan one last shove.
‘You’re useless without me. And you’re only in my way.”
And before Luhan can even blink and get a grasp of the situation, Kyungsoo’s gone.
And when Luhan feels the pain, it’s not from where his back had hit the wall, or where Kyungsoo’s hands had definitely left bruises and marks on his body. It’s in his chest, in his heart, because the words hurt more than anything else.
Luhan can still hear it in his ears, Kyungsoo snarling at him, Kyungsoo speaking to him with disgust.
That hurts the most of all, and that’s how Luhan knows.
That’s how Luhan knows he’s fallen for Kyungsoo.
And that’s how Luhan knows he’s fallen too hard, too far, for Kyungsoo.
Luhan and Kyungsoo have a weird relationship.
The thing about them is that they both know one another’s limits very well. So well that one of them could have easily ended the other by this point with their superpowers, but both of them are holding back. They’re holding back just enough, pushing just enough and pulling back at just the right times, so nobody gets hurt. Maybe a little tired or a few scratches, but they’d never let it become fatal or dangerous.
That’s the weirdest thing, because they’re not even fully conscious that they’re holding back at all.
One day, when they’re fighting, Luhan gets hurt, even though he shouldn’t have at all.
Kyungsoo is using his strength, and he’s using his earth elemental powers to hurl chunks that Luhan would normally easily dodge or use his telekinesis to move aside, but Luhan’s fallen too far in love and his skills have dropped off. He’s unfocused and his mind is not on combat or protecting himself.
And even though Luhan should not have gotten hurt, the giant mound of earth manages to hit heavily on his left shoulder. The impact is a loud, dull sound, and Luhan is left staggering.
Kyungsoo is surprised that his attack actually hit, and his normally stoic face gives way to an expression of pure shock, and for a split second, worry.
Kyungsoo’s mind is a flurry of questions. He can’t really see clearly because he’s brewed up a dust-storm with his powers. Did he hit Luhan? Is Luhan staggering? Is he actually hurt?
And then Kyungsoo realizes what he’s thinking, and the worry he’s feeling frightens him, because this is something he’s never felt before. Before the thought scares him even more, Kyungsoo runs from the scene, because all he’s ever done with his problems is run.
Kyungsoo realizes that he no longer wants to hurt others. He realizes that his rage from his past isn’t solved by hurting the world, or hurting others. A part of him acknowledges that he was wrong to try and hurt others, but another part of him is still angry, because where is the justice he deserves?
When his school mates started calling him a freak and isolating him because he couldn’t control his powers, where was his justice? When people isolated his family too, where was his justice? And where was the justice for his family, who still loved him unconditionally?
Kyungsoo realizes that all these ‘villainous’ actions are just a show. He’s making flashy explosions and causing harmless mayhem. It’s all a front.
The next time they meet, Kyungsoo thinks Luhan might actually be...hurt? He might be a little sick? He thinks Luhan looks a little weak, a little pale. He thinks Luhan might be staggering a little when he walks, and it’s strange because Luhan usually flies.
Kyungsoo thinks he sees Luhan grasping his shoulder from time to time, but he can’t be sure unless he asks, and he’s definitely not going to ask.
Luhan tries to hide the fact that he’s injured. His shoulder shoots pain through his body every time he moves, but he can’t show it to anybody, especially Kyungsoo. He thinks that if Kyungsoo knew he was injured, it would only serve as a gaping opportunity for the latter to take over the city, or follow through with whatever plan he has in store.
Kyungsoo tries to act like he always does in front of Luhan, the cold and expressionless façade up at all times with the occasional snarky comment weaved in between. But, Kyungsoo tones down the attacks.
He’s not using his powers so much, not hitting so strongly, giving Luhan the opportunity to dodge.
He can’t drop his act. But, at this point, he’s only carrying out his ‘plan’ out of obligation.
Kyungsoo likes to spend his time alone, and he has a special spot. It’s the roof of an apartment building at the city limit, because he likes the view he gets. He can watch the sunset, the oranges, reds, and yellows, outline the city scape, and it’s absolutely breathtaking.
One evening, he’s surprised to see Luhan already there, sitting where he usually sits.
To say the least, Kyungsoo’s a bit flustered, because he was so sure that only he knew about this spot and that nobody else knew he came here. Yet, Luhan’s definitely here, he thinks, with a faraway look in his eyes as he observes the sunset. Kyungsoo thinks that Luhan looks a little wiser.
“What are y-you doing here?”
Kyungsoo clears his throat, trying to pretend he didn’t just stutter and that he’s not surprised, and he takes a seat, not too close, not too far to Luhan.
And Luhan ignores his question. Kyungsoo’s surprised because Luhan is tearing his gaze away from the sunset to look him with the softest look of sincerity he’s ever seen.
“Don’t do it, Kyungsoo. You really don’t have to.”
Kyungsoo’s frozen. Completely, entirely, frozen.
He’s never noticed how soft Luhan’s features are, how pretty his eyes are, how cute his little nose and lips are.
Kyungsoo catches himself staring, and he snaps himself out of it immediately.
“I-I have no idea what y-you’re talking about.” Kyungsoo stammers, and he tries to cover the fact that he’s flustered with more questions. “How did you even know I was here? You better go before I make you leave.”
Kyungsoo’s threat is weak and empty.
Luhan’s still soft despite how sharp Kyungsoo is trying to be to him. Luhan can’t help but smile a little, his expressions still kind, because he’s in love with Kyungsoo, and he’s accepted it. His expressions are still kind because he believes that Kyungsoo could change his mind, could stray away from evil.
“Of course I knew you were here,” Luhan murmurs softly under his breath, and the words accidentally slip from his lips.
“What?” Kyungsoo asks before he can think, not sure if he actually heard the words or if he imagined them. Nonetheless, Kyungsoo feels a heat rushing to his cheeks, and he might actually be blushing, so he turns his head away in an attempt to hide it.
“You really don’t have to, Kyungsoo.” There’s affection laced into Luhan’s voice, and Kyungsoo’s head snaps toward Luhan again because he’s unbelievably surprised.
But, Luhan’s already gone, darting into the evening sun.
Kyungsoo’s unbelievably confused, and he wants to go back on his plan. He doesn’t really want to play the bad guy anymore, he doesn’t want to fight Luhan anymore.
But he can’t go back now, because what kind of super villain would that make him? If he can’t even live up to the name he’s established for himself, what kind of person is he?
Finally, it’s the day for Kyungsoo’s grand master plan. He’s on the roof of a government building setting up, because he expects Luhan to be there later that day to stop him in the nick of time, like how all his past schemes have been foiled.
Kyungsoo’s been thinking that maybe today, in addition to losing on purpose, (though he’s sure Luhan would never let him win even if he tried), he’ll announce the end. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to be the villain anymore, he doesn’t want to be the bad guy. He’ll let Luhan defeat him once and for all in front of the public, and he’ll disappear forever.
And to make sure the public sees, Kyungsoo let slip some information on where and when his scheme was to take place.
It’s dangerous while Kyungsoo sets up, because there are some carefully planted explosives that are really just for show, but he needs to move things so they don’t become dangerous shrapnel.
But, Kyungsoo’s surprised because all of a sudden, Luhan is there when he shouldn’t be, and he doesn’t know of the explosives.
“Kyungsoo, please,” Luhan says, eyes locked onto Kyungsoo, whose eyes are completely in a state of surprise and panic, and Luhan keeps stepping forward. “You don’t have to do this, really. We can work together or something, or you can be the good guy of the city. You don’t have to do this all alone.”
The words aren’t being processed by Kyungsoo because he’s frozen. His lips won’t move, his body won’t move, his mind won’t move, because Luhan is about to step on one of the explosives.
And then when Luhan steps, it’s like Kyungsoo is seeing everything in slow motion. There’s a bright flash of light and a deafening bang that follows as Luhan’s body is thrown up and back. Some of the metal machines on the roof get caught up in the following chain reaction of explosions, and shrapnel is flying everywhere.
Kyungsoo panics when the dust settles and he can’t hear the public’s shouts of worry that their resident superhero has fallen, and he can’t hear the sounds of a large crowd gathering, because Luhan is limp on the ground and oh god, he thinks, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Luhan wasn’t supposed to be here early, Luhan wasn’t supposed to get hurt.
Luhan was supposed to come later and disarm the bombs that Kyungsoo would have made more obvious. Luhan was supposed to come out unscathed and Luhan was supposed to win and Kyungsoo would lose, and Kyungsoo was supposed to disappear forever and the media would love Luhan forever, but no, that’s not what happened.
Kyungsoo’s by Luhan’s side in less than a split second. There’s a giant, sharp piece of metal debris embedded in Luhan’s shoulder, and Kyungsoo gasps, because there’s already pre-existing bruises. It means that Luhan had actually gotten hurt earlier, and now he’s hurt again in the same spot, and the pain must be excruciating, Kyungsoo thinks.
“Oh god oh god oh god, no no no,” Kyungsoo blubbers, and his stoic façade is melting away to reveal his inner personality. Kyungsoo’s actually on the verge of crying because he’s panicked and he doesn’t know what to do. His hands are hovering over Luhan’s injury, his entire body trembling. “No, no no no, Luhan, no, this wasn’t supposed to happen, this wasn’t supposed to happen, oh god no.”
Luhan’s in a haze. He’d expected the pain to be unbearable, but he really can’t feel anything. He thinks that his body must be going into shock. He almost laughs because having superpowers won’t necessarily stop you from dying.
Luhan can’t really hear anything. All that he knows is that Kyungsoo is kneeling next to his body, and he knows that he’s bleeding out. Luhan can see spots of black dotting his vision, and he knows he’s going to pass out. His breaths are unbelievably shallow, and the wound must be really close to his heart or his major arteries, because even breathing is becoming a task.
Luhan can barely see, but he thinks he sees Kyungsoo crying. It must not be true, he thinks, because this is his arch nemesis. Why would his arch nemesis cry over his death? Wouldn’t it be something to celebrate over?
“Kill me, Kyungsoo,” Luhan gasps out, barely able to speak. “It’s your chance...t-take it.”
Kyungsoo’s eyes widen. He can’t believe what Luhan is saying.
“What?! Are you out of your mind?!” Kyungsoo blurts, but he panics because he’s still supposed to be putting up a façade, he panics because he’s not about to reveal his feelings. “I mean...uh, h-hang on, Luhan, because I n-need a superhero to oppose me. Every villain needs a superhero, r-right? So y-you can’t die, okay?” Kyungsoo was supposed to pretend like he only needed Luhan because he’s his counterpart, but he sounds like he’s begging for Luhan to live and stay at the end.
Kyungsoo sounds like he’s pleading just for Luhan to hang on.
Luhan’s eyes are sad now, and it scares Kyungsoo because he can’t read what Luhan is thinking at all.
“Y-you know, Kyungsoo,” Luhan gasps, and one hand is coming up weakly. Somehow, he manages to put it on Kyungsoo’s cheek, and Luhan likes the way his skin feels beneath his fingertips. “I’ve b-been so tired lately. I c-couldn’t keep u-up with all your s-schemes like I used to, and f-for the longest time,
I couldn’t f-figure out why.” Luhan takes a shuddering breath, and he doesn’t notice the way that his hand is now clasped tightly in Kyungsoo’s own hands because he’s too busy fighting for every breath.
“And then I f-figured it out.”
Kyungsoo is patient as he waits for Luhan’s words, because he has the gut feeling that this is more important than anything else right now.
“It’s b-because I’m in l-love with you, Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo freezes. There’s no way, he thinks, that Luhan is in love with him. They’re enemies, for crying out loud! He can’t believe it, his mind won’t let him believe it, but his heart is saying its true because it’s beating hard in his chest and there are butterflies in his stomach.
“And y-you’re right. W-without a villain, a s-superhero is useless...b-but without a superhero, th-the villain can be all th-they want and d-do anything they w-want.”
Luhan is now smiling so softly that Kyungsoo thinks his heart might just be shattering, because how can someone look so perfect and beautiful when they’re bleeding to death?
“All this time,” Luhan gasps, wheezing with every breath, “All this time, I’ve needed you, but you’ve never needed me.” Luhan seems to be fading more and more, and it’s clear that he’s fighting hard to stay conscious. “I k-know it’s s-selfish, b-but I w-want you to be h-happy being the v-villain o-of this city, doing a-as you please...e-even if it m-means the c-city will suffer.”
Luhan musters up all his energy for one last smile. Even though he’s weak and the smile is soft, it contains all the energy he has left, and then his eyes are fluttering shut, and he’s gone.
“Oh god, Luhan,” Kyungsoo whispers, and it sounds like a whimper. Kyungsoo finally realizes that maybe he really does love Luhan back, and that he’s worried because he cares for Luhan, not because he needs a superhero to oppose him.
Kyungsoo only snaps out of his shock and his thoughts when he hears the dull roar of a chattering crowd. He catches bits and pieces of their conversation, and it sounds gloomy.
“Is that the end, then?”
“Does this mean we’ll have a villain ruling the city now?”
“Who’s going to protect us now that Luhan is...d-dead?”
Dead?
Kyungsoo looks at the body lying limp in his arms and he checks for a pulse. He expects nothing, but it’s there. It’s faint, and it’s dying, but it’s there.
In a panic, Kyungsoo leans down to check for breaths too, and he puts two fingers just above Luhan’s soft lips, and when he feels a shaky inhale and exhale, his hopes skyrocket.
Luhan’s not dead.
Kyungsoo scoops the limp body as carefully as possible, but also as quickly as possible. In a matter of just moments, Kyungsoo is flying off into the distance towards the mountains, a dying Luhan cradled carefully in his embrace.
The public are ready to spread the news that Luhan has died and Kyungsoo, the villain, will have control of the city, but they’re surprised when they look up. They see Kyungsoo carrying Luhan, and anyone can tell that Kyungsoo’s taking care to be gentle, and it’s obvious that Kyungsoo is helping Luhan. The super villain is helping the super hero.
Some citizens are pulled over by the news station reporters, and the say that they think they saw the villain shedding tears. That they saw Luhan fall, and that Kyungsoo was by his side in an instant. They thought Kyungsoo was going to end it, but instead they saw the villain flying off with Luhan in his arms.
When Luhan wakes up, his vision is so incredibly bleary that he blinks for what seems like an eternity before he looks around.
It takes a moment for Luhan to even remember what happened. All he remembers is the sound of an explosion, being thrown back, and a deep throbbing in his left shoulder. Everything after that is blurry.
He thinks, he remembers someone, next to his body, but for some reason, he can’t remember the face, he can’t remember who it was.
Luhan realizes that he’s on his back in an incredibly comfortable bed, so he can already tell he’s not in the hospital, though he does know he was incredibly injured. Luhan tries to sit up, but then there’s a shooting pain rushing through his body from his shoulder. He feels a little chill because he realizes that he’s shirtless, and his skin is exposed other than the heavy duty bandages wrapped securely around his left shoulder.
Luhan looks around again, and he seems to be in a bedroom. It’s cozy, and all the colors are warm and dark, with soothing shades of browns and highlights of soft reds. He really likes the room, actually. There curtains are drawn open, giving him a view outside, and it’s simply breathtaking. There are no other buildings in sight. Just some rocky terrain and beautiful forests.
And then memories and realizations are hitting Luhan like a train, because it’s all coming back. He remembers Kyungsoo kneeling over his body, and he remembers confessing. He’s not sure if seeing Kyungsoo was just his imagination or not, but he’s pretty sure that he remembers being in Kyungsoo’s secure arms, flying in the air.
And so, Luhan figures that he’s in Kyungsoo’s home. He also gets the vibe that this must be Kyungsoo’s home, because every aspect of this room, every little detail in the design and the way things are placed, and even the fact that his window’s view reveals a beautiful downwards mountainous slope, it all screams Kyungsoo. It’s minimalistic, yet warm and homey, the furniture is unbelievably modern and chic, yet the throw pillows are cute and bright.
Luhan carefully moves the blankets off his legs, and he’s a little surprised, because the pants on his legs are definitely not what he was wearing before. He’s now in a pair of soft, blue pajama pants. He thinks that Kyungsoo must have helped treat him, and to change his clothes. Luhan almost blushes, but the pain distracts him because even moving just a bit brings him excruciating pain.
Luhan manages to stand and walk, but the pain is so severe that he’s staggering with every step. He makes it out of the bedroom and into a corridor. He can’t walk without using the wall as a support, and he smiles because the home is so warm and it seems perfect. There are paintings on the wall, and Luhan stops to take a break because he really can’t go on, even though he’s only made it a few steps from his room.
He thinks it’s Kyungsoo as a child, and Luhan smiles, because he looks almost exactly the same.
And as Luhan sets off to walk forwards again, the pain is so intense and concentrated that his vision is going blurry, and his head is spinning.
And before Luhan can even get a grip on what’s happening, he’s crashing painfully to the wooden floor.
Kyungsoo is humming a light tune with a bin of laundry in his arms (because super villains are people too) when he sees Luhan crumpled in an uncomfortable heap on the ground. He drops everything all at once, Luhan’s jeans and his once-bloodied shirt now clean and spilling all over the floor.
It only takes a moment for Kyungsoo to be kneeling beside Luhan, turning him so that he’s on his back, and he’s completely panicking. His eyes are wide with fright, and he’s both careful and quick to pick up Luhan’s frail body into his arms, cradling him close.
“Shit! What are you doing?!” Kyungsoo blurts, his arms shaking slightly as he stands. He says nothing else as he carries Luhan back to the bedroom, laying him carefully back down onto the bed sheets.
Luhan is conscious but everything is very bleary. When Kyungsoo has Luhan situated comfortably, that’s when he lets the rush of words spill from his lips.
“Do you know how hard it was to bandage you up?” Kyungsoo scolds, his worry showing through his
words, “I have no fucking idea how to treat injured people, okay? Can you imagine it? A giant metal piece embedded in your shoulder, inches away from your heart? I don’t know what I’d do if you died, and fuck, I’m not letting you die after having to go through all that. God, do you know how long you were even unconscious for? Oh god, did you reopen your wound? Is it bleeding? Do you feel faint? Are you okay? Do you need water?”
Kyungsoo’s rush of questions reveals just how worried he is for Luhan, and he’s trying to look for anything that might make Luhan more comfortable, because he just wants Luhan to live and be okay.
Luhan, on the other hand, is still a little bleary, especially because he had lost a lot of blood, when he regains his grasp on reality, he’s completely startled, and his eyes widen in surprise. Luhan is surprised because Kyungsoo is actually caring for him.
“A-are you...helping me?” Luhan asks, interrupting Kyungsoo’s flow of worried questions. His bewilderment must be obvious, because in an instant, Kyungsoo is reverting back to his cold façade, too embarrassed to be truthful.
“What? No! Of course not! Why would I be helping you?” Kyungsoo blurts, and it’s completely obvious
that he’s lying, and he’s lying very poorly.
Before Luhan can say any more, Kyungsoo is standing, about to leave.
“There’s water and pain killers on your bed stand. I don’t care if you don’t like it, because you’re going to eat it. And you’re not leaving this bed.”
And then Kyungsoo is swiftly out of the room, leaving Luhan in a state of a daze. At first, Luhan is surprised by the sudden cold demeanor, but then he really thinks, rather than being ignorant.
He thinks that Kyungsoo is making him food, and the fact that he’s even alive when he told Kyungsoo, he told Kyungsoo, to finish him off. Luhan can’t help but smile because no matter how cold Kyungsoo is to him, he can’t really see any negative sides to him at all.
Luhan knows Kyungsoo told him not to leave the bed, but he’s fidgety and it’s too boring, so he stands, even if it’s just to walk around. It’s still painful, but it’s not nearly as intense as earlier because he’s taken the painkiller Kyungsoo left him.
There’s a newspaper on the table in the room, and he picks it up with interest. Noting the date, Luhan realizes that he must have been unconscious for more than 24 hours. The headlines read ‘SUPERHERO LUHAN MISSING; LAST SEEN WITH SUPERVILLAIN KYUNGSOO’
Luhan cocks his head in curiosity, sitting himself back down onto the bed with the paper in hand, because even standing for a little while is enough to drain his energy. A part of him laughs internally, because what super hero can’t even stand for more than a few moments.
Luhan reads the article, and he smiles because there’s a picture of him in Luhan’s arms, and it’s obvious that Kyungsoo was rescuing him, was saving his life. Somehow, Kyungsoo pulled Luhan away from death’s grasp.
And then Luhan reads some quotes from the citizens who saw what happened first hand, and he’s surprised to read one of them. The witness talks about how Kyungsoo picked up and took care of Luhan so incredibly gently, and how she thinks she saw tears streaming down Kyungsoo’s features.
Luhan softens at this, and he can’t help but chuckle. He would have never guessed about Kyungsoo having a side like this to him, but another side of him also sincerely believes that this is Kyungsoo’s true character.
Later, Luhan hears a soft knock on his door, and he scrambles back into his bed. He had been gazing out the window at the sunset, but he remembered how Kyungsoo scolded him earlier, and he definitely did not want to be scolded again.
Kyungsoo enters just as Luhan’s pulling the covers back up, and Kyungsoo raises a suspicious eyebrow before setting the dinner tray down onto the bedside table. He’s about to set a stand on Luhan’s lap so he can eat while in bed, but Luhan shoves the newspaper under his nose first. He’s waving it so quickly that Kyungsoo can’t figure out what it is at first, but then he understands.
“What’s this?” Luhan asks, eyes wide and innocent on purpose just to get under Kyungsoo’s skin.
“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo feigns ignorance, pretending not to care, even when it’s right in front of his face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But then he’s trying to snatch it away when Luhan’s not paying attention, but Luhan anticipated this and pulls it from Kyungsoo’s grasp at the last second.
Kyungsoo keeps flailing in his attempts to snatch it away, but Luhan’s using his telekinesis to keep it out of his reach. Luhan clearly has the upper hand, and Kyungsoo keeps failing to grab it.
“Look at how carefully you’re holding me in the picture,” Luhan teases, raising the newspaper high until it’s just out of Kyungsoo’s reach. Kyungsoo tries to jump and grab it, but Luhan only raises it higher. “Did you really cry while you held me? How sweet, Kyungsoo. I didn’t know you had it in you. It would be so
romantic, if only I were still conscious. You, flying off into the distance, with me in your arms. Wouldn’t that be cute?”
Luhan’s teasing reduces Kyungsoo into a blushing mess, and in his frenzy to defend himself, Kyungsoo starts to blabber the first thing and everything that comes to mind.
“Shut up! I was just sorta kinda worried, okay? I’m just kinda sorta worried about you all the time, that’s
completely normal! Shut up! I kinda think of you all the time and I can’t get you off my mind no matter how I try, and just because my heart starts to beat really fast in my chest whenever you’re too close doesn’t mean anything, okay!” Kyungsoo shouts, eyes shut and his face scrunched up slightly in the cutest way.
There’s a silence, so quiet that the sounds of their breathing pierce the air. It’s only broken by the sound of a newspaper hitting the ground somewhere, and when Kyungsoo opens his eyes, he sees an expressionless Luhan.
And then Luhan breaks out into the biggest grin Kyungsoo thinks he’s ever seen, and it’s enough to get Kyungsoo blushing again.
Luhan is pleasantly surprised by Kyungsoo’s rather unconventional and accidental confession, because all this time, he’s thought that Kyungsoo hated him or something, or that the feelings he had would only end in a one sided love or something.
Luhan’s grin won’t seem to fade, and Kyungsoo is very embarrassed, in addition to confused.
“Wh-what? S-stop looking at me l-like that...I-i...” Kyungsoo stammers, at a loss for words.
And all of a sudden, Kyungsoo feels himself being pulled down by Luhan’s arms, and he flails, nearly knocking down the dinner he prepared, but Luhan’s one step ahead, because he uses his telekinesis to set it back onto the table. He wonders when Luhan regained so much strength, but he realizes that he isn’t fighting in the embrace. If anything, Kyungsoo is unconsciously leaning into it.
And then Kyungsoo panics, his mind trying to tell himself to push away, but his body is not obeying at all.
“Wait, let go! I don’t want to hurt you again...your shoulder is still injured, and it’s still dangerous and-“ Luhan cuts Kyungsoo off with a kiss.
It’s simple, just their lips touching, but then it’s their lips pressing, insistently, and their hands are wandering a little bit. It’s finally Kyungsoo who pulls away, because their bodies are impossibly close, their legs are weaving together, and he can’t bear to hurt Luhan anymore.
And as if Luhan can read minds, he pecks Kyungsoo just once more.
“I don’t care if we’re this close. I know that you will never, ever, be able to hurt me again.”