Letters For You

Sep 06, 2014 00:19

Letters For You
For: deslyta
Rating: R
Length: 2840
Summary: Kyungsoo finds some of Luhan’s old letters and he doesn’t like them.
Author's Note: Dear recipient, I hope this comes close to what you wanted! Thank you to R and N for the hand holding.

The sunlight coming in through the half-closed blinds of the room shines directly on Kyungsoo’s face, making him squint and turn to face the other direction with a low groan. The blanket is bunched around his waist and the sheets rustle as he moves. Kyungsoo cracks his eyes open and smiles softly when a face comes into view, smooth-looking skin and pretty pink lips parted to make way for light breathing as Luhan continues his slumber. Kyungsoo opens his eyes fully and takes in Luhan’s appearance, from his long eyelashes to the bow of his lips and down to his prominent Adam’s apple and protruding collar bones.

He’s always wondered what it feels like to wake up next to Luhan in their own bed and in an apartment they can call their own. Sure, they’ve slept together countless times before but it was always in either Kyungsoo’s or Luhan’s bed, never theirs. Now that they’ve finally moved in together, Kyungsoo’s elated and he sighs happily as he continues observing Luhan in his sleep. His finger comes up to trail down Luhan’s nose lightly, barely touching Luhan himself in case he wakes up. The skin is soft beneath his finger tip and Kyungsoo’s amazed at how Luhan doesn’t have any blemishes.

Kyungsoo retracts his finger when Luhan’s eyes open slightly, sleepy grin forming on his face and Kyungsoo feels his heart beat a little faster.

“Good morning,” Luhan greets, voice husky and heavy with sleep.

Kyungsoo leans down and seals Luhan’s lips with his, ignoring their morning breaths as their lips lock when Luhan responds eagerly. It’s only a quick peck but it has Kyungsoo blushing when he pulls away and Luhan stares at him with big, bright eyes filled with what looks like a lot of love.

“Come here,” Luhan says, sliding closer to Kyungsoo to wrap an arm around him.

Kyungsoo’s nose nuzzles Luhan’s neck, hands closed in fists against Luhan’s chest with Luhan’s leg draping over Kyungsoo’s thigh and arm tight around his waist. Luhan is warm, very warm and it’s cosy in the air-conditioned room as Kyungsoo basks in Luhan’s warmth. He lets the two of them cuddle for a few minutes before he decides to check the clock, sitting up in shock and hitting Luhan in the chin when he realises that Luhan’s going to be late for work if he doesn’t get up now.

“That hurts,” Luhan whines, pouting at Kyungsoo and cupping his own jaw with his hand.

“Get ready for work,” Kyungsoo tells him, getting off the bed and slipping his feet into his house slippers.

“I’ll make you breakfast.”

Kyungsoo walks out the door and ignores Luhan’s whining about how he needs a kiss on his jaw to make him feel better, heading towards the kitchen and putting the coffee machine on. He pops bread into the toaster for Luhan’s lunch, and takes out the frying pan to quickly make some fried rice for their breakfast. By the time Luhan’s showered and ready for work, there’s two plates of kimchi fried rice and a lunch box on the table.

“You are amazing,” Luhan praises Kyungsoo as he sits down and starts tucking into his breakfast.

They both finish quickly enough and Kyungsoo pushes Luhan to their front door by the small of his back, forcing him to quickly put on his shoes. Luhan only laughs and tells Kyungsoo to relax because he won’t be late, even if he’s leaving later than he usually does. When Luhan’s all ready to go, Kyungsoo leans in and kisses him goodbye, smiling widely and waving while Luhan walks backwards towards the elevator.

He stifles a giggle when Luhan knocks into a pillar, covering his mouth with his hand and his eyes form little crescents.

Kyungsoo closes the door only when Luhan is in the elevator, turning around and facing the mess of boxes in their living room. Kyungsoo has taken a day off to try and unpack everything in one day and while Luhan had tried asking for time off as well, he wasn’t successful because his office needs him for a project they’re currently working on. Kyungsoo starts by cleaning up the dishes, ensuring the kitchen is clean before he moves to the boxes they left by the side.

He starts from his own boxes, pulling out old clothes that he rarely wears but can’t bear to throw out.

He folds them neatly and stacks them at the back of their shared closet, colour coordinating everything and leaning back on his heels to admire his work. He works on his personal belongings next, ranging from his novels to his action figures. Arranging the novels on the bookshelf in the living room, he puts his action figures on a shelf inside their bedroom, carefully dusting them off and adjusting their limbs so they’re in an eye-catching pose.

Kyungsoo didn’t bring much with him so he finishes unpacking his things within three hours. All of them have been stowed away or displayed, and the apartment feels a little bit more homely now. Luhan has brought more boxes than he has and it’s by the wall, waiting to be opened. Kyungsoo can’t stand the sight of the boxes just sitting there, contemplating for a while before he decides to help Luhan unpack bit by bit. The first box is just clothes, and Kyungsoo colour coordinates them in the closet too. He hopes Luhan won’t mess them up later because it would be a pain to start all over again.

The second box Kyungsoo opens is filled with Luhan’s notes and books from university and while he doesn’t understand why Luhan would still keep them to remind himself of the painful times, he helps stack them on the shelves in the home office they have. He groans as he picks up the heavy textbooks and plops them on the desk for a while, wiping the perspiration off his forehead. He peeks into the box to see how much he has left and turns his head away, only to swing his head back when he spots a pink envelope sticking out from below one of the textbooks.

Kyungsoo picks the envelope up, frowning when he recognises Luhan’s handwriting on the front. He turns it, eyebrows furrowing even more at the heart shaped stickers that litter the back of the envelope.

He doesn’t remember receiving any of this. Curiosity gets the better of him and he carefully opens the flap of the envelope, eyeing the yellowing piece of paper inside that’s slightly torn at the edges and pulls it out carefully. The paper is thin and old, and Kyungsoo feels like it will tear into pieces in his hands if he doesn’t handle it with care. He unfolds it, fingers moving cautiously as the piece of paper opens to reveal a handwritten letter.

Dear Chanyeol

I still remember the first time I saw you. You were sitting under a big tree with your guitar and you were humming along as you strummed your guitar. I unconsciously walked closer and you looked up, your bright eyes meeting mine. You smiled widely and I was taken aback, but managed to smile back at you anyway.

You said, “Hi, I’m Chanyeol,” and extended your hand towards me for a handshake.

I’m pretty sure that was the first time I started falling for you.

Yours

Luhan

Kyungsoo feels numb. He doesn’t know who Chanyeol is and he certainly doesn’t remember Luhan telling him anything about him. Kyungsoo can only assume that the letter is from years ago judging by the state of the piece of paper. There’s no date written anywhere. Kyungsoo had attended the same university as Luhan and he doesn’t remember a Chanyeol in their batch. He concludes that it could be a senior or a junior, or even better, someone from Luhan’s high school.

He digs into the box and takes the rest of the textbooks out, finding a whole pile of letters at the bottom of it. They’re all in pink envelopes and Kyungsoo counts ten of them, scowling at the stickers pasted all over the backs. He knows he shouldn’t read any more and he knows that it’s Luhan’s privacy, but the letters are in his hands now and his fingers are itching to take them all out. Kyungsoo ignores the voice at the back of his head that tells him that Luhan wouldn’t like it and opens the second envelope anyway.

Dear Chanyeol

Do you remember our first date? You took me out to the park and brought food you made yourself and you guitar. I said it was just nice but the truth is I was really, really impressed. I was happy when you played the song for me, and when you let me lay my head on your lap.

Thank you.

Yours

Luhan

The second letter doesn’t give Kyungsoo any more information other than Luhan and Chanyeol probably dated. If they dated, why hadn’t Luhan given these letters to Chanyeol? It’s the most important question Kyungsoo has in his head as he pulls the third letter out of its envelope.

Dear Chanyeol

I still remember the first time you kissed me. You were walking me back to my house but you suddenly pulled me towards you and kissed me. Your lips felt really soft and even though it was just a short peck, it left me warm and fuzzy all over.

I liked it.

Yours

Luhan

Kyungsoo’s hand is slightly shaking and his eyes go wide. Luhan had used the term house instead of dorm, and Kyungsoo comes to a conclusion that this Chanyeol was from Luhan’s high school. Relief washes over him the same time jealousy does, fingers unconsciously tightening around the flimsy piece of paper and he doesn’t realise what’s doing until his finger slips and makes a small tear in the letter. He gasps in horror, loosening his hold before folding it again and sliding it back into its envelope.

Kyungsoo decides that he’s read enough and places everything back at the bottom of the box, closing the lid afterwards. He sits on the chair in the office, the gears in his head turning as he processes everything he’s just read. Chanyeol’s from Luhan’s high school and they dated. Luhan was happy enough to write him letters that Kyungsoo has not even once received.

Instead of being worried about who Chanyeol really is and if Luhan still has feelings for him, Kyungsoo’s more concerned about Luhan writing the letters in the first place. Was Chanyeol really so special that Luhan wrote letters to him? Why weren’t they sent? Most importantly, why hadn’t Luhan written letters for Kyungsoo before?

Kyungsoo eyes the box with the letters inside and half of him wants to continue reading the other letters in case there are any other clues about Luhan’s and Chanyeol’s relationship, but the other half that’s stronger is holding him back because he knows Luhan wouldn’t like it if he dug through his personal belongings. The last thing he would want to do is to upset Luhan, even if he’s upset himself. Kyungsoo stands up and walks out of the office, closing the door behind him. It’s the only way he knows how to stop himself from looking any further.

It doesn’t really work, though. Even as he’s unpacking the rest of Luhan’s boxes and doesn’t find anything else, his mind is back on the letters and Luhan’s and Chanyeol’s relationship. The one thing he’s most curious about, he finds, is how Chanyeol looks like. Does he look just like Kyungsoo - shorter than Luhan with a soft body?

Before he can stop himself, Kyungsoo is logged into one of their social network platforms and scrolling

through Luhan’s friends list, eyes landing on a certain Park Chanyeol. He’s the only one with the name, and Kyungsoo’s heart sinks when he realises that Chanyeol is the exact opposite of him. Where Kyungsoo is petite with narrow shoulders, Chanyeol is tall - taller than Luhan - with broad shoulders.

The way they smile are similar with big eyes and wide toothy grins, but that doesn’t make Kyungsoo feel any better. If anything, he feels worse. Dropping his phone on their bed, Kyungsoo sits and leans against the headboard. His mind is busy working and it is ridiculous how he’s been thinking about Chanyeol when he doesn’t even know who the boy is.

What Kyungsoo does know is that Luhan is his.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting on the bed when he finally hears the front door opening and a quick glance at the clock tells him that it’s been two hours since he’s sat down and thought about what to do. He came to the conclusion that Luhan is his, and he’s going to prove it. He walks out to where Luhan is setting his briefcase on the couch and loosening his tie.

“Hello, baby,” Luhan greets, pulling Kyungsoo in for a kiss.

Yes, Luhan is his.

Kyungsoo hums and pulls away, helping Luhan undo his tie and throwing it aside afterwards. He also takes the briefcase away from the couch and puts it on the table before pushing Luhan onto the couch and getting on top of him, knees on either side of Luhan’s thighs. Luhan’s looking up at him with widened eyes but otherwise he doesn’t show any sign of resistance.

“You’re mine, right?”

Luhan frowns and different thoughts race through Kyungsoo’s mind at once. Why is Luhan frowning?

“Yes, but what brought this on?” Luhan asks, hands coming up to rest on Kyungsoo’s hips.

Kyungsoo doesn’t answer and instead runs his finger down Luhan’s neck to the top button of his shirt, undoing it with deft fingers and in a matter of seconds, Luhan is shirtless and so is Kyungsoo as he pulls his tee off. He leans down and kisses Luhan, tongue licking into Luhan’s mouth and causing Luhan to respond just as eagerly as the fingers on his hips tighten its grip. Luhan sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and Kyungsoo allows it, hands roaming Luhan’s torso. He knows where he needs to apply pressure to get Luhan riled up and when he does exactly that, Luhan has him on his back as he hovers over him.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Luhan asks again, hand travelling lower.

Kyungsoo keeps his silence and pulls Luhan down for another kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck as he lets Luhan do the rest of the work. Trousers are pulled off quickly and when Luhan enters him, that’s when Kyungsoo knows that Luhan is definitely his. They don’t tear their eyes away from each other even when it gets rougher, and Kyungsoo can see the amount of love and admiration Luhan has in his eyes as he looks down at Kyungsoo. Overwhelmed at both the physical and mental reassurance, Kyungsoo goes over the edge and Luhan follows shortly after.

Luhan gets off of him and Kyungsoo whines at the lack of heat, cold hair hitting his bare skin when Luhan gets up to clean after both of them. He nudges Kyungsoo onto his side, slipping behind him to wrap his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist as he buries his face in his hair.

“Are you going to tell me now?” Luhan murmurs, fingers tracing patterns on Kyungsoo’s tummy.

“I was helping you unpack today,” Kyungsoo answers. “The box with your university books.”

Kyungsoo can feel Luhan stiffen for a bit and dread fills him, waiting for Luhan to answer. The fingers on

his tummy don’t stop their movement and it’s starting to fill a little ticklish so Kyungsoo puts his hand over them, holding onto Luhan’s fingers to let him know that he’s not mad. If he was, he wouldn’t even be home when Luhan came in.

“Chanyeol is a past lover,” Luhan finally answers. “But he moved away before I could give him those letters and I, honest to God, wanted to throw them away but I thought I’d give them one last read. I just didn’t have time before we moved here.”

Kyungsoo nods, accepting Luhan’s answer. The only thing he hears is Luhan wanting to throw them away and that’s enough for him.

“You’re not mad, are you?” Luhan questions, arms wrapping tighter and pulling Kyungsoo closer.

“No,” Kyungsoo whispers. “I just needed reassurance that you’re mine. Chanyeol’s handsome.”

“I think you’re a thousand times more handsome than he is,” Luhan replies and Kyungsoo can hear the grin in his voice.

Kyungsoo can’t help the blush that creeps up his cheeks and he nudges Luhan in the stomach to try hide how he feels, but Luhan catches on anyway and lets out a low chuckle that sends shivers down Kyungsoo’s spine.

“You know I love you, right? That I’m yours and yours alone?” Luhan says into his hair.

Kyungsoo smiles, closing his eyes and leaning back into Luhan before he answers with an “I know, and I you.”
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