I officially fucking hate the fourth of July. In past years, I was only moderately annoyed by the droolers that set off their fireworks into the wee hours of the morning, but now I want to blow off all of their limbs and appendages one by one with cherry bombs ( Read more... )

( Mother mother fuck, mother mother fuck fuck )

( Sigh. )

( HISTORIC MOMENT: For the first time in NINE years, I... )

As of yesterday, Josh has been obligated to help his dad spread gravel early on Saturday morning, so I need to get up early tomorrow. Therefore, I will probably have to take a pass on Perkins again tonight. However, I hope to make my triumphant return next week.

P.S. My cold is STILL not gone.

I won't be at Perkins tonight--between the infected bite, the stomach issues I had on Sunday night and Monday morning that drove me to leave work early, and the vicious cold I've been battling since Tuesday, I'm starting to forget what it's like to be healthy--but I wanted to let nee_chan know that Josh and I plan to attend your party tomorrow. I can't ( Read more... )

( Ye Olde Ballad of the Bitten Boob

or,

My Tale of Medical Mayhem from Being My Child's Chewtoy )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DENSE!

TODAY'S HELPING OF STUPID ( Read more... )

Reason #3499996677755 why I love Family Guy: A recent episode included a song about legalizing weed to the tune of "Me Old Bamboo" from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I almost died laughing ( Read more... )