Good Friday
As we ate our breakfast today, Frances said, "I hate school holidays! Why do we have another when we only just did Christmas?"
"So that you can have a nice rest." I said, "And so you can spend time with your family."
"But I might forget everything." she said, "If girls don't go to school they end up as second glass citizens."
"What's a second glass citizen?" said Benedict.
"One who drinks too much." I said.
"I might be being impressed." said Frances.
"Oppressed." I said.
"Well, I'm being it." she said.
"It's Easter!" said Emma, "You like Easter."
"Yes, I like Easter." said Frances, grudgingly, "I just don't want to be impressed and forget all the things I know."
"I know fings." said Rhiannon, "I know a hunndert fings."
"That's very good." I said.
"Fing one: you can grow broccoli in the ground. Fing two ... "
"Would you like more cereal?" I said.
Bryony ran in, having been delayed by online "research". "Guess what?" she said, "New Zealand is keeping the real flag!"
"I'm doing my fings!" said Rhiannon, "Fing two: there are seven days in a week and none of them are today, but all of them are sometimes today. I got that wrong. Uncle Sean 'splained it."
"How many things is she doing today?" said Bryony.
"A hundred." I said.
"Give her more cereal." said Bryony.
"Fing two!" said Rhiannon.
"You did thing two." said Patrick.
"What am I up to now?" she said.
"Thing ninety-nine." I said.
"No I am not!" she said.
Benedict looked at me and shook his head. "Kids!" he said.
"Fing one: " said Rhiannon, "If you take all the paper from all the bathrooms and lay it out in the garden, Mummy gets very, very cross."
"I've eaten all my breakfast." said Benedict, "Can I go and see if Brendan's awake?"
"May I?" said Ravensmoore.
"You can come with me." said Benedict.
"It is 'May I?' and not 'Can I?'" said Ravensmoore.
Benedict nodded. "I know that, in my head, but my mouth gets it wrong."
"Fing one: ... " said Rhiannon.
"You've done that one." I said.
"We have to eat and get ready for church." said Bryony, "Because Jesus died today."
"Does Jesus die every year?" said Frances.
"No," I said, "We remember every year."
"Good, because that would really spoil His Easter." she said.
"Does Jesus know if you bite a little bit of egg on the wrong day?" said Rhiannon.
"You're probly going to Hell." said Frances, still in a bad mood about having to be off school.
"Good!" said Rhiannon.
"Hell isn't real." I said.
"So where do bad people go?" said Patrick.
"Nightclubs, mostly, I think." I said.
"If I goed to Hell, I'd frit the Devil." said Rhiannon, "Uncle Sean said so."
"And Uncle Sean knows the Devil better than most." I said.
Eventually, the children finished eating and went to get dressed for church. I said to Emma, "The questions are going to be theological today, I can feel it."
"Well, we can always let the priest answer a few." she said.
"So that you can have a nice rest." I said, "And so you can spend time with your family."
"But I might forget everything." she said, "If girls don't go to school they end up as second glass citizens."
"What's a second glass citizen?" said Benedict.
"One who drinks too much." I said.
"I might be being impressed." said Frances.
"Oppressed." I said.
"Well, I'm being it." she said.
"It's Easter!" said Emma, "You like Easter."
"Yes, I like Easter." said Frances, grudgingly, "I just don't want to be impressed and forget all the things I know."
"I know fings." said Rhiannon, "I know a hunndert fings."
"That's very good." I said.
"Fing one: you can grow broccoli in the ground. Fing two ... "
"Would you like more cereal?" I said.
Bryony ran in, having been delayed by online "research". "Guess what?" she said, "New Zealand is keeping the real flag!"
"I'm doing my fings!" said Rhiannon, "Fing two: there are seven days in a week and none of them are today, but all of them are sometimes today. I got that wrong. Uncle Sean 'splained it."
"How many things is she doing today?" said Bryony.
"A hundred." I said.
"Give her more cereal." said Bryony.
"Fing two!" said Rhiannon.
"You did thing two." said Patrick.
"What am I up to now?" she said.
"Thing ninety-nine." I said.
"No I am not!" she said.
Benedict looked at me and shook his head. "Kids!" he said.
"Fing one: " said Rhiannon, "If you take all the paper from all the bathrooms and lay it out in the garden, Mummy gets very, very cross."
"I've eaten all my breakfast." said Benedict, "Can I go and see if Brendan's awake?"
"May I?" said Ravensmoore.
"You can come with me." said Benedict.
"It is 'May I?' and not 'Can I?'" said Ravensmoore.
Benedict nodded. "I know that, in my head, but my mouth gets it wrong."
"Fing one: ... " said Rhiannon.
"You've done that one." I said.
"We have to eat and get ready for church." said Bryony, "Because Jesus died today."
"Does Jesus die every year?" said Frances.
"No," I said, "We remember every year."
"Good, because that would really spoil His Easter." she said.
"Does Jesus know if you bite a little bit of egg on the wrong day?" said Rhiannon.
"You're probly going to Hell." said Frances, still in a bad mood about having to be off school.
"Good!" said Rhiannon.
"Hell isn't real." I said.
"So where do bad people go?" said Patrick.
"Nightclubs, mostly, I think." I said.
"If I goed to Hell, I'd frit the Devil." said Rhiannon, "Uncle Sean said so."
"And Uncle Sean knows the Devil better than most." I said.
Eventually, the children finished eating and went to get dressed for church. I said to Emma, "The questions are going to be theological today, I can feel it."
"Well, we can always let the priest answer a few." she said.