FIC: Cygnus atratus (1 of 2), Severus/Remus, NC-17, for dark_cygnet
Title: Cygnus atratus (part 1 of 2)
Author: rose_whispers
Pairing: Severus/Remus
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 13,008
Summary: After the war, Remus' jealousy is sparked when a dark, mysterious stranger attaches herself to Severus
A/N: A gift fic for dark_cygnet for being my online motivator and cracking the whip whenever I was procrastinating on school work. Thanks so much, hon! And huge thank you to my ever watchful and brilliant betas, thescarletwoman and elspethsheir
The swan arrived just after Halloween.
She was an elegant creature, though that wasn't immediately apparent. At first she looked like an inside-out feather pillow that had been dragged across the Quidditch pitch after a downpour. In fact, Professor Remus Lupin didn't notice her at her inaugural entrance to the Great Hall. For one thing, she came in during owl post amongst a battering of wings, when the upper portion of the room was thick with beaks, claws and feathers of every colour and shape. One more bird, even a large, bedraggled, and damned near desperate one, was not enough to catch Remus' attention. For another, Remus was ignoring everything in the Hall, including both the owls and his own breakfast, in favour of a single dark-haired, intense-eyed, hook-nosed man, who was in turn ignoring Remus.
Remus wasn't staring, not quite. Instead, he was looking at the bit of polished table that separated his left hand from Severus Snape's right, entertaining a wild daydream about reaching over and touching the other man's knuckles. He was reasonably certain that he would not live beyond that initial touch, but it would be a worthy way to die. Severus' hands looked wind-chapped and he wondered at the texture and how it would feel against his own skin. A man was entitled to his fantasies after all, wasn't he?
"I assisted Elphaba with the replanting of her mandrake roots," Severus drawled, and it took Remus a dazed moment to remember that he had asked Severus how his weekend was.
"That went well, did it?" the werewolf asked, gulping down some scalding coffee and trying not to wince as it burned his tongue. It was a heroic effort, but from the smirk on Snape's lips, he hadn't covered it up well enough.
"She has quite remarkable mandrakes," he replied, sipping from his own tea cup serenely. "They are nearly ready to be chopped up screaming and stewed into a number of useful potions."
Remus blinked. That was more than Severus usually offered. He tapped his mug with his wand, muttering a minor cooling charm. "Will Horace do the stewing, or...?"
"I hardly see how that is your concern," Severus sniped. "Is this the point in the conversation where I ask how your weekend was in return, Lupin, or can we get on with our lives and our breakfasts?"
"Oh no, do ask if you're curious," Remus said casually. He studied his scrambled eggs.
Severus said nothing.
Remus cursed inwardly- poor choice of wording. Of course the other man wouldn't admit to being curious, not about Remus. He was just opening his mouth to revise his statement while at the same time resolving to say not a word more to the reticent bastard beside him when they were attacked.
The thing dive-bombed them as the rest of the avians vacated the Hall, winging their way back to the owlery or their respective homes. It landed in a heap on the table with a plaintive honk, its head by Severus' spoon, its arse in Remus' eggs. Both men leaped to their feet, wands drawn and pointed at the assailant, every head in the Hall turned toward them.
The swan squawked mournfully and passed out.
Severus and Remus exchanged a look, and for a half of a half of a second, Remus could have sworn on Merlin's grave that Severus was fighting back a smile, possibly even a laugh. But a strong hand that was missing its pinky finger landed on his shoulder. It distracted him momentarily and when he looked back, Severus' face was as stony as ever.
"What have we got here?" asked the owner of the hand.
"I would rather think it's your job to tell us, Weasley," Severus snapped. "Or is your role here simply to look like a wild beast, not to work with them?"
Remus and Charlie Weasley exchanged exasperated glances. "Funny, Snape," the redhead growled, "I'd have figured that was how you envisioned your job description."
"Careful, Weasley, there were several words in that sentence with more than two syllables in them. Do try not to overtax yourself- I taught you, after all. I remember your grades." Snape gave Charlie his most practised glare. At least a third of the people in the room shrank from it.
"I seem to recall getting a NEWT in potions just fine though, with or without your help, old man," Charlie shot back. "Too bad for these students that they don’t get the joy of your sunny disposition in the potions dungeon anymore."
Remus stepped between the combatants. "Cease-fire, gentlemen," he said, one hand on Charlie's shoulder, the other held up in front of Severus' face. The Slytherin's scowl deepened, the grooves around his mouth making it even more terrible an expression. "Can we turn our attention back to our mystery guest, please?"
"It is a swan, Lupin," Severus spat. "Any idiot can tell you that."
"Family Anatidae, genus cygnus," Charlie pointed out helpfully. "Looks to be female, maybe seven kilos."
Severus pocketed his wand, his face contorting in anger. "Weasley, stop spouting useless information and kindly dispose of the bird. It seems to have expired in my porridge." He turned in a whirl of robes, and marched out of the hall. Everyone seemed to take a collective breath the moment the door slammed behind him.
"Pompous git," Charlie muttered. "Honestly, Remus, I just can't understand what you-"
"Is the swan indeed dead, then?" the werewolf interrupted, lips pressed together tightly.
Charlie took a calming breath and he bent to take a look, swishing his wand and murmuring charms every few seconds. The swan moaned softly and began to snore.
"Oh, she's alive, all right, but she's injured," he diagnosed.
"What the hell is she doing here of all places? At this time of year?"
"No idea." Charlie shrugged. "But I'll take her down to The Hut and see if I can't fix her up and send her on her way."
~*~
Remus didn't spare the swan another thought until the weekend. Classes took his attention, particularly fourth year Banishing charms. The little blighters were having a difficult time grasping the basics. Remus had had to assign far more homework than usual on the theory behind the charms and he wasn't used to children leaving his care grumbling under their breath.
With a shake of his head, he closed up the Charms classroom for the week and detoured past the corridor leading to the staff quarters, choosing instead to head outside. Many of the students chirped greetings at him, and by the time he waded through the ocean of good-natured hellos and queries, he wanted nothing more than a glass of wine and a quiet evening to himself.
But he also wanted a friendly face and he could think of no face friendlier than Charlie Weasley's. And as it happened, he and Charlie both had this last period of the day free. The Care of Magical Creatures professor was just making his way out of the Forbidden Forest as Remus crossed the grounds. He reached The Hut first, leaning casually against the doorframe, absolutely not looking up and to his left. Looking up would mean seeing the last Quidditch class of the day, which would in turn mean seeing a graceful, dark-robed figure flying in straight lines through the air, students, birds, and clouds alike getting the hell out of his path. Remus had never seen anyone make such sharp, precise turns on a broom, nor anyone who could make their damned Quidditch robes billow quite like that...
"You're drooling."
Remus blinked and turned away from the spot of sky that he certainly hadn't been staring at. "I was not."
Charlie slapped Remus on the back, chuckling. "I don't get it, mate, but to each his own, I guess."
Remus preceded Charlie into the darkened Hut. "I would never have pegged Severus as a Quidditch coach either."
Charlie snorted, flicking his wand to light The Hut's torches. "Not what I was talking about, Professor Lupin. Though for the record, I didn't expect he'd ever come back here at all."
Remus was proud of himself for not blushing. "After the war, we were all desperate, and Severus and I were both looked upon with suspicion for working with the other side, even if it was on Dumbledore's orders."
"I remember," Charlie said softly.
"For Headmaster Flitwick to offer us both positions here, especially after everything he did for the Order... it said a lot for us." Remus shrugged. "And as to actual placement, we took what we could get. It kept us out of Azkaban and helped lessen the firestorm of rumour and distrust surrounding us both."
"I suppose Quidditch and Charms are two of the least dubious jobs you could have."
"And don't forget, Severus was a fair Keeper in his day."
"Good at blocking out anything that didn't suit him."
"You should have seen when James and he squared off. James was the better of the two, which infuriated Severus, but they hated each other so much that the showdowns were always spectacular. Breathtaking, but never pretty." Remus couldn't hide his nostalgic smile. "And of course, Severus always refereed when Madam Hooch was ill."
Charlie's grin turned sly. "And when exactly did you go from cursing his name to blushing at the mention of it?"
Remus spluttered. "I most certainly do not blush at-"
"You've got it bad, mate, anyone with two eyes can see that."
Remus did not deign to answer, sitting instead upon one of the massive chairs that occupied The Hut even though its former owner was long gone. He hurtled to his feet when the chair shifted beneath his tailbone and bit him. He whirled around, wand pointed at his attacker-
Only to realise it was the same attacker from earlier in the week. The extraordinarily irate and sat-upon swan glared at him and hissed. Remus rubbed his arse, glaring back at the malevolent creature.
"Oh, excellent, am I going to be a wereswan now too?"
Charlie clapped one big hand over his mouth, trying to contain his snickering and failing spectacularly. "Should have warned you I was keeping her here," he managed at last.
The swan glowered at Charlie too before ruffling her feathers and settling back down, her black eyes glittering.
"Have you discovered what she's doing here?" Remus asked, twisting around to see if she'd managed to puncture the fabric of his robe.
"Not a bleeding clue." Charlie conjured a bowl containing a heap of slimy looking algae and set it before her. She glanced down her beak at it disdainfully before daintily condescending to peck at it. "She's got a broken wing, though. Must have been damaged by spellfire- she just can't get it to heal, and she won't let me near her. I've been trying healing charms from a distance only, and she won't suffer to be cleaned, either. She's a right mess, but she doesn't want anyone close enough to help her."
"Your Majesty," Remus said with a mock bow to the swan. The swan did not bow back.
Charlie held up his hand, where the skin looked freshly healed. "High-strung little bint keeps biting me."
Remus studied Charlie's face, still handsome despite the random patterns of old burn scars that would never entirely disappear. Remus hadn't been there the night the dragons had been turned on their keepers and taken by Voldemort's agents, but Charlie was a walking testament to the damage done and a living memorial both to the dragon-keepers killed in the raid and the dragons themselves, now all but extinct. Yet another reason Remus loathed the Ministry and its rush, quick-fix mandates. The mass killings of the dragons might have been avoided had the bureaucrats in charge calmed down enough to see that the dragons were not at fault.
Charlie rustled around The Hut, feeding the odd assortment of creatures who lived there, including old Fang the ancient boarhound, whom Charlie seemed to have inherited along with the gamekeeper position. He bent to feed two salamanders in the hearth, cooing at them softly. Remus wondered if he liked working with the fiery little creatures because they reminded him of his dragons. "You could just ask him out, you know," Charlie threw over his shoulder as if an overgrown deranged duck hadn't changed the course of their conversation.
"He'd say no," Remus replied at once, then bit his lip. "Erm. Too late to say 'I mean, who are you talking about?', is it?"
"Just a bit," Charlie chuckled.
"In that case, my answer stands. He'd say no."
"I feel, then, as your best friend and most trusted confidant-"
"Self-appointed," Remus interjected.
"-that I am duty-bound to take you to Hogsmeade and get you drunk," Charlie finished without missing a beat.
"Duty-bound, are you?"
"And honour-bound," Charlie said earnestly, though the Dumbledorian twinkle in his eye betrayed him.
Remus grinned and said mock-formally, "I should be crass indeed if I were to ignore the fact that you are both duty- and honour-bound to get me lightly, pleasantly buzzed and no more because I'm twice your age and haven't the stomach for hangovers any longer."
Charlie spread his hands in a conciliatory gesture. "Done. Let's get to it."
"Let's," Remus agreed, and they left the swan to hold court in the solitude of The Hut. The swan promptly fell asleep.
~*~
That the swan disappeared the next day didn't seem like that much of a problem to Remus. She'd come to Hogwarts on her own. Surely it made sense that she would leave of her own accord too, despite Charlie's insistence that she wasn't healed yet. Remus had other concerns, foremost the far-too-reasonable voice of the young gamekeeper in his head pointing out that Remus could always buck up his nerve and ask Severus out. Remus frowned. One did not simply walk up to one's formidable and oft-times angry ex-enemy and say, "Lovely weather- fancy a shag?" Or did one? Remus, admittedly, hadn't actually dated in years. Shagged, yes, but only in the heat and desperation of war. He didn't know how dating was done, particularly the initial asking-out. The one bit of information he clung to was that Severus did speak to him every so often, which was an improvement on years past. Well, Remus reasoned as he rounded a corner, he'd just find Severus, screw up his courage and- Oh bloody hell, Severus was coming straight at him...
Followed by the swan.
Remus couldn't help but stare at the bizarre sight. He almost didn't recognize the swan. Her feathers gleamed darkly, a perfect, glossy obsidian except for the pristine white tips of her wings. She held her head proudly upon the graceful arch of her neck, looking about her imperiously and receiving more than a few curious looks back. Her beak, once dull and sullied with caked mud, was clean now, a deep orange-red with a band of white at its tip. Her injured wing was wrapped in some sort of glowing green sling and held close to her body. Her companion seemed supremely indifferent to the stares they were garnering.
Remus fell into step beside the Slytherin, who did not acknowledge his presence. "Didn't figure you for a pet person, Severus."
"She's not a pet."
"She's following you."
"If she is, it's her choice," Severus sneered. He spared her a glance over his shoulder that was decidedly warmer than the expression he'd just given Remus. She was waddling ungracefully along in his wake, looking up at him adoringly. Remus felt a weird rush of... something he couldn't identify.
"Charlie didn't know where she went."
"Weasley needs to maintain better watch over the animals he keeps." Severus shot Remus a reproving glare.
Remus froze, the barbed tone catching him just below the skin and sticking. "I beg your pardon?"
"I didn't realise that your definition of a good time was getting pissed with shiftless twentysomethings," Severus said, his voice oily. "In the meantime, Odile-"
"Odile?"
"The swan, Lupin."
"Odile?"
"-grew weary of second-rate care and came to find me." Severus smiled smugly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. I'll leave you to your corruption of young adults."
"At least I'm doing some corrupting in my spare time," Remus called after the two departing figures, despite the fact that Charlie was far more of a corrupting influence on him than the other way around. Severus paused a moment before continuing on. The swan didn't stop at all.
It wasn't until evening that Remus had stopped brooding long enough to remember that he'd been going to see Severus to inquire after the evening's dosage of Wolfsbane. Remus didn't want to chase the oily bastard all over the castle, so he resorted to an artefact of his youth. Hermione and Ron Weasley had given him back the Marauder's Map when they'd learned he was returning to Hogwarts this year, and he activated the careworn parchment with a nostalgic smile. Yes, there Severus was, lurking in the dungeons. Muttering under his breath, he made his way down the many shifting staircases to Severus' potions laboratory. The Slytherin maintained the lab in secrecy from all of the students and most of the staff even though he was no longer the potions instructor. He peeked around the half-opened door and saw to his not-quite-surprise the swan, Odile, perched upon an armchair, drowsing by the fire.
"Stop lurking by the door, Lupin, and get in. Your potion is on the mantel."
Remus started, and glanced in the direction of the deep, somewhat irritated voice. "Evening, Severus."
"Isn't it odd for a wolf to sound sheepish," the other man observed, setting a beaker on the table before him and looking Remus over slowly, something that might have been a smile flirting with the edges of his lips if he hadn't been so utterly Severus about it.
Remus blinked, unused to such focused but non-threatening attention from the Slytherin. "I suppose," he said carefully, crossing the room to take up the potion. "Severus, thank you for brewing this for me. You've no idea how much it means."
"About the same as it did when you thanked me the last two months, I expect," Severus said dryly.
Remus shrugged. "Yes, about that much." Prolonging the moment when he would have to swallow the disgusting concoction down, fighting against his gag reflex the entire time, Remus regarded the swan curiously. "I wonder where she came from."
"Australia," Severus said without missing a beat.
Remus arched an eyebrow in a rather Snape-like expression. "How do you know that?"
"Cygnus atratus," Severus said patronizingly. "She's a black swan, Lupin. They only live in Australia, unless she escaped from some Muggle zoo closer to us." At Remus' disbelieving look, he said, "Your little redheaded friend isn't the only person capable of knowing a thing or two about swans."
"What on earth is she doing here, then?" Remus asked.
"Off on a holiday excursion, I expect."
"Severus..."
"How should I know, Lupin?" Severus rolled his eyes and returned to the task before him. "She is here now and she is injured. I will therefore care for her until such a time as she can care for herself."
Remus shrugged off Severus' sarcasm and held up the goblet in a one-sided toast, aware that the swan was watching him while Severus was not. He swallowed the gelatinous, acidic gloop as quickly as he could, his eyes stinging from the effort. To his consternation, the swan seemed to be laughing at him.
"Is she sleeping with you?" he blurted.
Severus dropped his scalpel with a clatter. What the hell was he dissecting? Whatever it was, it was still moving. "In spite of whatever inflammatory gossip you might have heard or started, I am not into bestiality, werewolf."
Again, that barbed tone. "I meant, is she sleeping in your quarters," he said slowly, as if speaking to a particularly slow student, trying to bite down on his own ire. Insufferable bastard. "Not if you practiced any sexual deviancies."
"She is," Severus drawled back. "Good night, Lupin."
Remus rolled his eyes, replaced the goblet, and let himself out. He nearly tripped over his own feet when Severus called after him, "And Lupin? I practice one or two."
~*~
Remus had been more conscious of Severus' shadowy presence this school year, but now he was hyperaware. Everywhere the Quidditch coach went, Odile waddled along behind him. At breakfast the next morning, Remus arrived to find the swan reposing regally in his own chair next to Severus. She was pecking at something dark and oozing on Remus' plate. He recognized it as whatever Severus had been vivisecting the night before.
"Move," Remus snapped at the swan. She barely glanced at him before returning to her meal. Remus reached out to grab her by her sides, and she crinked her neck backward and stabbed Remus' hand with her beak, hissing evilly.
Remus danced backward, swearing colourfully. He bit his lip to shut himself up when he heard a wave of suppressed laughter from the children. Everyone was watching him to see what he would do next. Clutching his bleeding hand, he turned to appeal to Severus. And his jaw nearly dropped open when he saw that Severus was one of the people laughing. Not too much and not too obviously, but his expression was amicable, his lips quirked upward, teeth showing, a devious sparkle in the dark depths of his eyes. Remus felt a blush spreading unbidden from his cheeks downward. Severus looked open, relaxed, and so ridiculously desirable that it seemed to roll off him in visible waves.
"Yes, Lupin, being bested by a swan is humiliating," he said, his voice dark, his laughter lacing through it.
Remus mustered a suitably annoyed-but-mild expression, privately thankful that Severus had misinterpreted his pink cheeks as a sign of embarrassment over the bloody swan and not all-out lust. "Can you get Her Majesty to move her feathered arse, please?" he asked through gritted teeth, his voice too low for anyone but Severus to hear.
The other man reached over and ran two long fingers over Odile's dark head, stroking downward along her graceful neck. The swan shivered and leaned into his touch. If Remus hadn't known better, he'd have sworn she was purring. Severus repeated the motion several times before standing. To Remus' shock, the same two fingers touched the back of his own hand for the briefest of moments, and then Severus pulled Odile's chair out for her and lifted her to the floor. The two of them swept out of the Hall together, leaving Remus gaping after them. He laid his fingers briefly to the back of his tingling hand before sinking into his chair, still warm from where the bloody overgrown goose had perched. He hadn't imagined the touch, so what the hell did it mean?
Charlie Weasley had a few ideas as they shared a cuppa in The Hut. Though no one except Charlie's menagerie of wounded creatures had actually lived in it since Hagrid had died for the cause, it still had all the accoutrements of a home, including a kettle and a stovetop percolator.
"One, he's gone 'round the fucking twist with that swan," Charlie said, holding up one thick finger.
"No argument," Remus muttered, thinking about Severus' hand lingering on her smooth black feathers.
Charlie's second finger popped up. "Two, maybe he's not quite as oblivious as we all assumed."
"About?"
"You, you prat," Charlie said with an exasperated sigh. "Honestly, you've been mooning after him for months. It's not hard to interpret the lovesick look on your mug and see who you're pointing it at."
Remus massaged the back of his neck, not looking at Charlie. Something behind him squawked. "The thing is, I really hated him."
"I know."
"For so many reasons."
"We all did."
"But I couldn't hate him after he protected Harry in the end. It could have been so much more painful."
This time it was Charlie's turn to look away, stricken. "I hated him for not saving Harry."
"He nearly died trying," Remus said softly, surprised at the depth of emotion that Charlie was struggling to gain control of. He'd never seen it before from Charlie.
"I saw the trials. The memories in the Pensieves," Charlie said, bending to scratch Fang's ears. The elderly boarhound moaned happily and dropped his massive head onto Charlie's scuffed boots.
"As did I. And we ended up recovering in the same ward at St Mungo's after... after." It was funny how little they all talked about the end. "I couldn't even dislike him when all was said and done." Remus closed his eyes for a moment. No. He couldn't hate him after everything.
Charlie seemed to shake himself out of whatever past place he'd just been. "It's a big leap from not disliking to openly lusting."
Remus grimaced, abashed. "I do not openly lust."
"Whatever you say, mate."
"You're going to think I'm a complete idiot."
"You're in love with Snape," Charlie pointed out. "I already do."
Remus glanced out the window, just in time to see Snape himself striding across the grounds, Odile tucked under his arm. She looked entirely too smug. "It was just after Filius hired me to take on his old position. I was popping down to the Quidditch pitch because I thought Oliver Wood was still teaching here- old student of mine, you know. I wanted to say hello."
"You hadn't heard the Wasps had re-signed him after the war," Charlie guessed.
"Exactly. I stuck my head into the locker room to holler for him..." Remus trailed off, half-lost in the visual of his memory, half-embarrassed.
"Yessss?"
"Severus was coming out of the shower in nothing but a well-placed towel," Remus murmured, talking to his hands.
He heard a muffled snort of laughter across the table. "I see."
"So did I."
Both men were silent for a moment before they burst out laughing together. "That's what it took?" Charlie giggled. "Skinny, sallow, naked Snape?"
"He'd been training for months," Remus explained hastily, blushing even more deeply. "You know Severus- he never does anything by halves. If he couldn't have Potions or Defense Against the Dark Arts, he'd give his all to whatever he was given."
"So he looked good?" Charlie asked incredulously. Fang transferred his head to the redhead's lap with a happy sigh, and Charlie began to scratch his ears absently. "For, er, Snape?"
"Toned and tanned," Remus replied dreamily. At the other man's sceptical look, he amended, "Well, maybe not tanned. But healthier than he ever was when he skulked underground like an inferius twenty-four hours a day."
"Did he see you?"
"He couldn't miss me," Remus lamented, draining his coffee. "I was staring like I'd been frozen with a bodybind curse. His invective was both creative and profuse."
"What'd you do?"
Remus shrugged. "I cussed him out right back. I learned in the hospital not to take his tantrums or his head trips any longer."
"And then?"
"Nothing."
"Letdown of an ending to your story, Remus," Charlie said reproachfully.
"What can I say?" Remus said helplessly. "We sit next to each other at meals. He makes me the Wolfsbane. We exchange occasionally civil and more frequently incensing words."
"And once he touched the back of your hand," Charlie said over Fang's snores.
Remus could still feel the touch from that morning, burned into his flesh. "Once he did."
Charlie patted Remus on the shoulder as if he was a member of Charlie's pound. "You've got to make yourself a better ending to your story."
Remus nodded. "If he can tear himself away from that damned swan long enough to let me."
When Remus left The Hut later that evening, he felt marginally better. If he and Severus could just talk, they might have a chance at something more. As he closed the door behind him, though, he couldn't help but notice Charlie taking a bottle of ale and pouring himself a very large drink into one of Hagrid's old tankards.
~*~
She was gliding gracefully across the dark water a week later. A week that had seen another full moon and more meals with the damned swan seated in his chair, and episode after episode of Severus taking her wherever he went. She sat in the stands and watched serenely as he taught his classes. She waddled after him as he stormed through the halls, catching students out of bed. She presided over detentions with him, hissing at anyone who stepped out of line.
And here she was swimming happily about the part of the lake that extended underground, into the bedrock and foundations of the school itself where the boats docked with the first years each September 1st. The entrance to Severus' laboratory was just ahead, but Remus paused, watching the way she moved. Awkward on her feet, when she was in the water she was as elegant as Severus himself.
Remus leaned against the glistening rock wall. "I wonder what he'd say if I told him he was elegant," he mused out loud. The swan seemed to shrug but kept swimming. Remus chuckled ruefully. "'Hello Severus, just watching you move makes me want to jump you.' He'd kill me, wouldn't he? Of course he would."
Odile cackled her agreement.
"Easy for Charlie to sit back and give me advice," he sighed, stepping forward again, eyes following her progress. "Anyone ever tell you you're an excellent listener?"
"Why do you think I allow her presence?" a voice murmured directly into his ear.
Remus swallowed his yelp of shock, his whole body rigid. "Severus. I didn't hear you." Damn it, a man in his forties should be able to control his voice so it didn't break! Severus was right behind him, only a whisper between them. Remus could feel his body heat radiating through the frigid cavern.
"Sound from the lake masks most everything else," Severus explained softly.
"Does it," Remus said, unable to think of any other words. He turned around, trying to remember the reasons he'd invented for coming down here. Severus didn't step back, and Remus found himself tantalizingly close. A fleeting vision of Severus wet from the showers, dark hair clinging to his neck like Odile's feathers, overlaid Severus now.
"What do you want, Lupin?" Severus' words kissed Remus' lips, intoxicating him. God, what a question.
"Everything," Remus whispered, tilting his head upward, mouth almost brushing against the taller man's, pure need driving him forward against all of his rational judgement.
"Ambitious," Severus decided. One long finger crooked under Remus' chin, barely touching him, yet locking him place.
"Severus..."
"Unfortunately, I was just about to retrieve Odile and step out for the night." The hand drew back, releasing Remus. "Good evening, Lupin."
Before Remus could fully register the way the biting dampness of the lake was enrobing him once more, Severus had leviosa'd the swan out of the water, and the two were halfway up the dark corridor into the castle. A shiver overtook him. What the hell had that been?
"Severus, wait!" He stalked after them, catching the startled Slytherin by the elbow.
"Yes?"
Remus had no idea what he was going to say. "Dinner," he blurted.
"Excuse me?" The question was accented by Odile's hiss.
"With me. You and me." Remus didn't understand why his idiotic tongue wouldn't form the sentence in his mind.
"Yes, Lupin, that is what we do in the Great Hall each evening." Severus smirked.
Remus abandoned words, since they had apparently abandoned him, and hooked one hand around Severus' neck, pulling him down a few inches to press a swift, hard kiss against his lips. He pulled back and they stared at each other, wide-eyed. Severus' fingers flexed convulsively as though he wanted to reach out but couldn't quite do it.
So Remus did it for him, touching his cheek tentatively, following the strong lines of his face, feeling a bit of stubble against his jaw. He stepped forward again, heat coiling deep in his belly, his thumb smoothing over Severus' thin bottom lip. The other man was stiff and unmoving, but he was neither retreating nor throwing hexes. Remus wanted to taste him, to savour their breath mingling, their-
"Bloody fucking HELL!" Pain shot through his leg, and Remus glared down at the dark, wet figure who had just driven her scarlet beak into his calf. Odile glared back.
"Quite," Severus said, his voice tight and cutting. He scooped the bird up and she rested her head on his shoulder, looking back at Remus. They paced up the stone corridor without another word, a pair of glittering swan eyes staring Remus down reproachfully until Severus rounded the corner.
Once again, Remus went to Charlie to staunch the flow of blood.
"This is the sixth swan-related injury I've helped you with," the redhead pointed out, smoothing an antibacterial gel into the incision just below Remus' rolled-up trouser cuff.
"Sodding swan is a menace," Remus complained. "You should check to make sure she hasn't given me rabies."
"Don't let Snape hear you making rabies jokes. He'd never let you live it down."
Remus watched Charlie perform a healing charm, and rolled his cuff down again. "Thanks."
"Just call me Healer Weasley. So just what'd you do to offend Her Highness, anyway?"
Trying to snog Severus Snape. "I wanted to live up to my supposed Gryffindor courage, follow your shining advice, and ask Severus to dinner."
Both of Charlie's eyebrows shot up. "Did he agree?"
"He didn't really say either way," Remus groaned, his head dropping into his hands. Fang nuzzled his thigh in sympathy. "Bloody bird distracted him. And he's cryptic at the best of times anyway."
Charlie grinned lopsidedly. "Just going to have to try again."
Remus sighed. "I really hate that swan."
~*~
She wasn't sitting in his chair that evening. She was in Flitwick's empty seat, much to the amusement of staff and students.
"Headmistress," Remus said on his way by, he and the swan exchanging unpleasant expressions. He dropped into his chair, not looking at the man beside him. They ate in absolute silence, only the sound of utensils scraping their plates between them. Remus rocked between sparring urges, wanting to reach over and snog the living hell out of Severus and wanting at the same time to demand to know what the other man thought was going on. He was about to stand, finished his meal, when he felt something touch his knee fleetingly. Severus' hand. Oh god. His gaze flew to the Quidditch coach's impassive face.
Severus met his startled look. "Wish granted."
"Pardon me?" Such an innocent touch, Remus reflected, should not inflame him quite so much.
"You wanted, as you said, 'Dinner. You and me.'"
Remus stared. "Is this a joke?"
Severus shook his head, his curtains of dark hair swaying. "I have done as you requested. Now will you be good enough to stop following me about? One pet dogging my footsteps is quite enough."
Remus' mouth opened and closed several times. "I... You..."
"Well put." Odile was already waiting for him and they exited, leaving a cold, confused werewolf in their wake.
Remus conjured a chair at the other end of the table next to Versa Sinistra at breakfast the next morning. Immaturity be damned, he was not sitting by Severus Snape any longer. He deserted his old spot to the dark-feathered usurper, and both Snape and swan seemed happy with the new arrangement. That Snape had finally lost his mind was old news to the students by now, and the sight of the sour Slytherin seated next to his pampered pet swan barely warranted a second glance anymore. Versa was a lovely woman, if a bit dull, and Charlie was two chairs over, so Remus determinedly involved himself in conversation with people around him each meal. If his eyes ever sought out the Quidditch coach, either bent over his meal or, surprisingly, having what looked to be quite civil chats with Elphaba Sprout, Pomona's sister and successor in the greenhouses, well, that was involuntary, coincidental, and couldn't be helped.
Remus stopped taking the long path to The Hut by way of the Quidditch Pitch. He changed his times and routes for evening patrols of Hogwarts' echoing halls after hours. Remus was firm in his decision: Snape wanted to be an enigmatic prick? Fine, he could be one for the benefit of Odile and no one else. Remus was sick of it.
And as he prowled the halls of the seventh floor late one Monday evening, he had nearly convinced himself that he didn't feel a little thrill of excitement each time he saw the bastard. He was almost sure that he was over Snape. After all, two weeks of silence as frosty as the coming winter outside had passed between them and it wasn't as though Remus was longing for another brush of broom-callused fingers against his hand. And the ridiculously graphic but ruthlessly-suppressed dreams he had each night were nothing more than his subconscious mind having a good joke at his expense. No, he didn't want to pounce on Snape, didn't want to lick his way down the arch of his neck, as graceful as his swan's, didn't want to catch him in the locker room again and peel away his towel...
Hang it all. Remus growled under his breath and shot a few vicious sparks at a portrait of a young wizard on a broomstick. He gave a start of fright, nearly falling off, and zoomed out of the painting, reappearing in the frame next to him and thoroughly alarming a group of witches who were having a sedate al fresco picnic.
"I say!" one of the portraits called down. "Terribly rude!"
"Shocking!" cried another.
"And you, a Hogwarts teacher!"
"What an example for the students!"
"Vandal!"
Remus swiped his wand in a wide arc and said, "Silencio! Calm down, all of you. I thought I saw a spider." A tall, menacing spider who made you think he found your presence tolerable and who actually spoke with you sometimes and touched you very occasionally and drove you mad with want. Damn it.
The magically gagged portraits glared down at him with roaring disapproval. Remus sighed and muttered, "Finite incantatem. My apologies for the breach in etiquette."
He stomped up the hall before any of the offended paintings could chastise him again. He passed a corridor branching off from his own, and so wrapped up in his own angry thoughts was he that he nearly missed the spectacle there. But he thought he saw a flash of bright silver light, so he retraced his steps, peering into the gloom. A set of luminous eyes glimmered malevolently through the darkness, and Remus heard an all too familiar hiss ripple from between two suits of armour. Mrs Norris stalked forward, her protracted claws clicking against the stone floor. Odile backed further up against the suit of armour on her good left wing spread out menacingly, but there was no mistaking the fear in her eyes.
Remus acted on instinct, cracking his wand at the predatory feline and shouting, "Petrificus totalus! Wingardium leviosa!"
Mrs Norris froze, tottered, and just before she toppled over was lifted up to hover mid-air. Remus directed her to the far end of the hallway before approaching Odile cautiously, hands out to show that he meant her no harm. The swan was quivering, but she didn't relax her battle stance.
"It's all right," Remus said as gently as possible, crouching down a few feet before her. "Relax. You're not going to be her midnight snack, at least not tonight."
Odile faltered, drawing her wing a bit closer to her sleek body.
Remus chuckled. "You're not so horrible, are you? You just demand all of his attention, and I rather think you sense that I would take some of that attention away from you if I could."
She hissed.
"No, of course I don't deny it. I've been trying to do so for a fortnight, and look where it's taken me. Nowhere." Remus sat down cross-legged on the floor across from the swan, twirling his wand absently between his fingers. She watched its movements curiously. "You're a lot like him. More like him than I am, I suppose. And I don't know if I could even tell you why I want him as much as I do. Not a year ago, I despised him and would have been happy to find him bleeding or dead."
A sharp look was cast his way. Remus shrugged. "We all make mistakes. You don't know how it looked at first. It seemed he was a traitor. Who'd have thought he was the most loyal to Albus of us all? And you weren't there in the hospital, either. While we were recovering."
She cooed a little, as if encouraging him, and waddled forward a few paces.
"We talked. More than he and I have ever talked. It's funny discovering you share interests and outlooks in common with someone you hated so very much. He was... funny, in an acerbic, Snapey kind of way. He abused the healers quite vocally until they brought us the best of everything. Food, bedding, reading material. And he shared everything with me. It was as though we were in it together. The atmosphere between us was relaxed. I... I rather thought we might be friends after that."
Odile sauntered forward further until she was squatting immediately in front of him, and she laid her head on his knee. Tentatively, he brushed her feathers with his fingers the way he'd seen Severus do. She honked happily.
"And then, of course, was the infamous moment in the showers. And I haven't been able to get him out of my head since. You go everywhere with him- you've probably seen him naked. So you would understand, wouldn't you?" Remus traced the line of her neck, marvelling at the soft smoothness of her feathers. "I have no idea how I... if I... I might be in love with him," he admitted miserably. "I'm not sure yet. I had hoped that I could get to know him better this year, but you've put quite the kink that plan. I wonder where you came from. I think someone must have sent you to make my life more complicated."
Remus' rambling was interrupted by a horror-struck screech, and Argus Filch came bounding down the corridor, stopping dead in front of the hovering, petrified Mrs Norris. Odile lifted her head up and hissed.
"Not again!" he sobbed, taking her in his arms and rocking her close. "My cat! YOU! You've killed my cat!"
A streak of silver in his peripheral vision distracted Remus from answering immediately, and then Severus Snape came hurtling around the corner as well. He took in the tableau with one sweeping gaze, and his eyes narrowed dangerously at Filch.
"Your cat tried to eat my swan."
The tone was deep and dark and promised all kinds pain for Filch and Mrs Norris. Remus shivered in spite of himself. He knew that he shouldn't be turned on by that voice, and he scrambled to his feet.
"You killed her," Filch bellowed, pointing one shaking finger at Remus.
"Oh, for- finite incantatem," Remus snapped, and Mrs Norris came alive once more with a yowl in Filch's arms. She tried to wrench her body free and launch herself at Odile, who was crouched at Remus' feet, spitting and beating the air with her good wing. "She was attacking Odile, Argus. I merely disabled her."
"Odile cannot yet fend for herself," Severus said to Filch, outraged, and he scooped her into his arms, cradling her more tenderly than Remus had ever seen him handle anything. "That lynx masquerading as a housecat... If Remus hadn't been here, Filch, I'd have had your head, heart, and kidneys on a silver platter for my breakfast!"
"Don't you go hexing my cat!" Filch shrieked at Remus, ignoring Severus' tantrum in favour of pitching his own.
"Keep better watch on her, then," Remus countered, and he pushed past Severus and Odile and headed back to his rooms, Severus' words still ringing in his ears. If Remus hadn't been here...
But if Severus truly was grateful, he made no outward showing of it the next day, when Odile continued to occupy Remus' old spot in the Great Hall as if it were her due. However, though he couldn't quite be sure of it, he thought he saw Severus' eyes flicker toward him as he entered, and then return right away to his porridge.
Onward to the second half
Author: rose_whispers
Pairing: Severus/Remus
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 13,008
Summary: After the war, Remus' jealousy is sparked when a dark, mysterious stranger attaches herself to Severus
A/N: A gift fic for dark_cygnet for being my online motivator and cracking the whip whenever I was procrastinating on school work. Thanks so much, hon! And huge thank you to my ever watchful and brilliant betas, thescarletwoman and elspethsheir
The swan arrived just after Halloween.
She was an elegant creature, though that wasn't immediately apparent. At first she looked like an inside-out feather pillow that had been dragged across the Quidditch pitch after a downpour. In fact, Professor Remus Lupin didn't notice her at her inaugural entrance to the Great Hall. For one thing, she came in during owl post amongst a battering of wings, when the upper portion of the room was thick with beaks, claws and feathers of every colour and shape. One more bird, even a large, bedraggled, and damned near desperate one, was not enough to catch Remus' attention. For another, Remus was ignoring everything in the Hall, including both the owls and his own breakfast, in favour of a single dark-haired, intense-eyed, hook-nosed man, who was in turn ignoring Remus.
Remus wasn't staring, not quite. Instead, he was looking at the bit of polished table that separated his left hand from Severus Snape's right, entertaining a wild daydream about reaching over and touching the other man's knuckles. He was reasonably certain that he would not live beyond that initial touch, but it would be a worthy way to die. Severus' hands looked wind-chapped and he wondered at the texture and how it would feel against his own skin. A man was entitled to his fantasies after all, wasn't he?
"I assisted Elphaba with the replanting of her mandrake roots," Severus drawled, and it took Remus a dazed moment to remember that he had asked Severus how his weekend was.
"That went well, did it?" the werewolf asked, gulping down some scalding coffee and trying not to wince as it burned his tongue. It was a heroic effort, but from the smirk on Snape's lips, he hadn't covered it up well enough.
"She has quite remarkable mandrakes," he replied, sipping from his own tea cup serenely. "They are nearly ready to be chopped up screaming and stewed into a number of useful potions."
Remus blinked. That was more than Severus usually offered. He tapped his mug with his wand, muttering a minor cooling charm. "Will Horace do the stewing, or...?"
"I hardly see how that is your concern," Severus sniped. "Is this the point in the conversation where I ask how your weekend was in return, Lupin, or can we get on with our lives and our breakfasts?"
"Oh no, do ask if you're curious," Remus said casually. He studied his scrambled eggs.
Severus said nothing.
Remus cursed inwardly- poor choice of wording. Of course the other man wouldn't admit to being curious, not about Remus. He was just opening his mouth to revise his statement while at the same time resolving to say not a word more to the reticent bastard beside him when they were attacked.
The thing dive-bombed them as the rest of the avians vacated the Hall, winging their way back to the owlery or their respective homes. It landed in a heap on the table with a plaintive honk, its head by Severus' spoon, its arse in Remus' eggs. Both men leaped to their feet, wands drawn and pointed at the assailant, every head in the Hall turned toward them.
The swan squawked mournfully and passed out.
Severus and Remus exchanged a look, and for a half of a half of a second, Remus could have sworn on Merlin's grave that Severus was fighting back a smile, possibly even a laugh. But a strong hand that was missing its pinky finger landed on his shoulder. It distracted him momentarily and when he looked back, Severus' face was as stony as ever.
"What have we got here?" asked the owner of the hand.
"I would rather think it's your job to tell us, Weasley," Severus snapped. "Or is your role here simply to look like a wild beast, not to work with them?"
Remus and Charlie Weasley exchanged exasperated glances. "Funny, Snape," the redhead growled, "I'd have figured that was how you envisioned your job description."
"Careful, Weasley, there were several words in that sentence with more than two syllables in them. Do try not to overtax yourself- I taught you, after all. I remember your grades." Snape gave Charlie his most practised glare. At least a third of the people in the room shrank from it.
"I seem to recall getting a NEWT in potions just fine though, with or without your help, old man," Charlie shot back. "Too bad for these students that they don’t get the joy of your sunny disposition in the potions dungeon anymore."
Remus stepped between the combatants. "Cease-fire, gentlemen," he said, one hand on Charlie's shoulder, the other held up in front of Severus' face. The Slytherin's scowl deepened, the grooves around his mouth making it even more terrible an expression. "Can we turn our attention back to our mystery guest, please?"
"It is a swan, Lupin," Severus spat. "Any idiot can tell you that."
"Family Anatidae, genus cygnus," Charlie pointed out helpfully. "Looks to be female, maybe seven kilos."
Severus pocketed his wand, his face contorting in anger. "Weasley, stop spouting useless information and kindly dispose of the bird. It seems to have expired in my porridge." He turned in a whirl of robes, and marched out of the hall. Everyone seemed to take a collective breath the moment the door slammed behind him.
"Pompous git," Charlie muttered. "Honestly, Remus, I just can't understand what you-"
"Is the swan indeed dead, then?" the werewolf interrupted, lips pressed together tightly.
Charlie took a calming breath and he bent to take a look, swishing his wand and murmuring charms every few seconds. The swan moaned softly and began to snore.
"Oh, she's alive, all right, but she's injured," he diagnosed.
"What the hell is she doing here of all places? At this time of year?"
"No idea." Charlie shrugged. "But I'll take her down to The Hut and see if I can't fix her up and send her on her way."
~*~
Remus didn't spare the swan another thought until the weekend. Classes took his attention, particularly fourth year Banishing charms. The little blighters were having a difficult time grasping the basics. Remus had had to assign far more homework than usual on the theory behind the charms and he wasn't used to children leaving his care grumbling under their breath.
With a shake of his head, he closed up the Charms classroom for the week and detoured past the corridor leading to the staff quarters, choosing instead to head outside. Many of the students chirped greetings at him, and by the time he waded through the ocean of good-natured hellos and queries, he wanted nothing more than a glass of wine and a quiet evening to himself.
But he also wanted a friendly face and he could think of no face friendlier than Charlie Weasley's. And as it happened, he and Charlie both had this last period of the day free. The Care of Magical Creatures professor was just making his way out of the Forbidden Forest as Remus crossed the grounds. He reached The Hut first, leaning casually against the doorframe, absolutely not looking up and to his left. Looking up would mean seeing the last Quidditch class of the day, which would in turn mean seeing a graceful, dark-robed figure flying in straight lines through the air, students, birds, and clouds alike getting the hell out of his path. Remus had never seen anyone make such sharp, precise turns on a broom, nor anyone who could make their damned Quidditch robes billow quite like that...
"You're drooling."
Remus blinked and turned away from the spot of sky that he certainly hadn't been staring at. "I was not."
Charlie slapped Remus on the back, chuckling. "I don't get it, mate, but to each his own, I guess."
Remus preceded Charlie into the darkened Hut. "I would never have pegged Severus as a Quidditch coach either."
Charlie snorted, flicking his wand to light The Hut's torches. "Not what I was talking about, Professor Lupin. Though for the record, I didn't expect he'd ever come back here at all."
Remus was proud of himself for not blushing. "After the war, we were all desperate, and Severus and I were both looked upon with suspicion for working with the other side, even if it was on Dumbledore's orders."
"I remember," Charlie said softly.
"For Headmaster Flitwick to offer us both positions here, especially after everything he did for the Order... it said a lot for us." Remus shrugged. "And as to actual placement, we took what we could get. It kept us out of Azkaban and helped lessen the firestorm of rumour and distrust surrounding us both."
"I suppose Quidditch and Charms are two of the least dubious jobs you could have."
"And don't forget, Severus was a fair Keeper in his day."
"Good at blocking out anything that didn't suit him."
"You should have seen when James and he squared off. James was the better of the two, which infuriated Severus, but they hated each other so much that the showdowns were always spectacular. Breathtaking, but never pretty." Remus couldn't hide his nostalgic smile. "And of course, Severus always refereed when Madam Hooch was ill."
Charlie's grin turned sly. "And when exactly did you go from cursing his name to blushing at the mention of it?"
Remus spluttered. "I most certainly do not blush at-"
"You've got it bad, mate, anyone with two eyes can see that."
Remus did not deign to answer, sitting instead upon one of the massive chairs that occupied The Hut even though its former owner was long gone. He hurtled to his feet when the chair shifted beneath his tailbone and bit him. He whirled around, wand pointed at his attacker-
Only to realise it was the same attacker from earlier in the week. The extraordinarily irate and sat-upon swan glared at him and hissed. Remus rubbed his arse, glaring back at the malevolent creature.
"Oh, excellent, am I going to be a wereswan now too?"
Charlie clapped one big hand over his mouth, trying to contain his snickering and failing spectacularly. "Should have warned you I was keeping her here," he managed at last.
The swan glowered at Charlie too before ruffling her feathers and settling back down, her black eyes glittering.
"Have you discovered what she's doing here?" Remus asked, twisting around to see if she'd managed to puncture the fabric of his robe.
"Not a bleeding clue." Charlie conjured a bowl containing a heap of slimy looking algae and set it before her. She glanced down her beak at it disdainfully before daintily condescending to peck at it. "She's got a broken wing, though. Must have been damaged by spellfire- she just can't get it to heal, and she won't let me near her. I've been trying healing charms from a distance only, and she won't suffer to be cleaned, either. She's a right mess, but she doesn't want anyone close enough to help her."
"Your Majesty," Remus said with a mock bow to the swan. The swan did not bow back.
Charlie held up his hand, where the skin looked freshly healed. "High-strung little bint keeps biting me."
Remus studied Charlie's face, still handsome despite the random patterns of old burn scars that would never entirely disappear. Remus hadn't been there the night the dragons had been turned on their keepers and taken by Voldemort's agents, but Charlie was a walking testament to the damage done and a living memorial both to the dragon-keepers killed in the raid and the dragons themselves, now all but extinct. Yet another reason Remus loathed the Ministry and its rush, quick-fix mandates. The mass killings of the dragons might have been avoided had the bureaucrats in charge calmed down enough to see that the dragons were not at fault.
Charlie rustled around The Hut, feeding the odd assortment of creatures who lived there, including old Fang the ancient boarhound, whom Charlie seemed to have inherited along with the gamekeeper position. He bent to feed two salamanders in the hearth, cooing at them softly. Remus wondered if he liked working with the fiery little creatures because they reminded him of his dragons. "You could just ask him out, you know," Charlie threw over his shoulder as if an overgrown deranged duck hadn't changed the course of their conversation.
"He'd say no," Remus replied at once, then bit his lip. "Erm. Too late to say 'I mean, who are you talking about?', is it?"
"Just a bit," Charlie chuckled.
"In that case, my answer stands. He'd say no."
"I feel, then, as your best friend and most trusted confidant-"
"Self-appointed," Remus interjected.
"-that I am duty-bound to take you to Hogsmeade and get you drunk," Charlie finished without missing a beat.
"Duty-bound, are you?"
"And honour-bound," Charlie said earnestly, though the Dumbledorian twinkle in his eye betrayed him.
Remus grinned and said mock-formally, "I should be crass indeed if I were to ignore the fact that you are both duty- and honour-bound to get me lightly, pleasantly buzzed and no more because I'm twice your age and haven't the stomach for hangovers any longer."
Charlie spread his hands in a conciliatory gesture. "Done. Let's get to it."
"Let's," Remus agreed, and they left the swan to hold court in the solitude of The Hut. The swan promptly fell asleep.
~*~
That the swan disappeared the next day didn't seem like that much of a problem to Remus. She'd come to Hogwarts on her own. Surely it made sense that she would leave of her own accord too, despite Charlie's insistence that she wasn't healed yet. Remus had other concerns, foremost the far-too-reasonable voice of the young gamekeeper in his head pointing out that Remus could always buck up his nerve and ask Severus out. Remus frowned. One did not simply walk up to one's formidable and oft-times angry ex-enemy and say, "Lovely weather- fancy a shag?" Or did one? Remus, admittedly, hadn't actually dated in years. Shagged, yes, but only in the heat and desperation of war. He didn't know how dating was done, particularly the initial asking-out. The one bit of information he clung to was that Severus did speak to him every so often, which was an improvement on years past. Well, Remus reasoned as he rounded a corner, he'd just find Severus, screw up his courage and- Oh bloody hell, Severus was coming straight at him...
Followed by the swan.
Remus couldn't help but stare at the bizarre sight. He almost didn't recognize the swan. Her feathers gleamed darkly, a perfect, glossy obsidian except for the pristine white tips of her wings. She held her head proudly upon the graceful arch of her neck, looking about her imperiously and receiving more than a few curious looks back. Her beak, once dull and sullied with caked mud, was clean now, a deep orange-red with a band of white at its tip. Her injured wing was wrapped in some sort of glowing green sling and held close to her body. Her companion seemed supremely indifferent to the stares they were garnering.
Remus fell into step beside the Slytherin, who did not acknowledge his presence. "Didn't figure you for a pet person, Severus."
"She's not a pet."
"She's following you."
"If she is, it's her choice," Severus sneered. He spared her a glance over his shoulder that was decidedly warmer than the expression he'd just given Remus. She was waddling ungracefully along in his wake, looking up at him adoringly. Remus felt a weird rush of... something he couldn't identify.
"Charlie didn't know where she went."
"Weasley needs to maintain better watch over the animals he keeps." Severus shot Remus a reproving glare.
Remus froze, the barbed tone catching him just below the skin and sticking. "I beg your pardon?"
"I didn't realise that your definition of a good time was getting pissed with shiftless twentysomethings," Severus said, his voice oily. "In the meantime, Odile-"
"Odile?"
"The swan, Lupin."
"Odile?"
"-grew weary of second-rate care and came to find me." Severus smiled smugly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. I'll leave you to your corruption of young adults."
"At least I'm doing some corrupting in my spare time," Remus called after the two departing figures, despite the fact that Charlie was far more of a corrupting influence on him than the other way around. Severus paused a moment before continuing on. The swan didn't stop at all.
It wasn't until evening that Remus had stopped brooding long enough to remember that he'd been going to see Severus to inquire after the evening's dosage of Wolfsbane. Remus didn't want to chase the oily bastard all over the castle, so he resorted to an artefact of his youth. Hermione and Ron Weasley had given him back the Marauder's Map when they'd learned he was returning to Hogwarts this year, and he activated the careworn parchment with a nostalgic smile. Yes, there Severus was, lurking in the dungeons. Muttering under his breath, he made his way down the many shifting staircases to Severus' potions laboratory. The Slytherin maintained the lab in secrecy from all of the students and most of the staff even though he was no longer the potions instructor. He peeked around the half-opened door and saw to his not-quite-surprise the swan, Odile, perched upon an armchair, drowsing by the fire.
"Stop lurking by the door, Lupin, and get in. Your potion is on the mantel."
Remus started, and glanced in the direction of the deep, somewhat irritated voice. "Evening, Severus."
"Isn't it odd for a wolf to sound sheepish," the other man observed, setting a beaker on the table before him and looking Remus over slowly, something that might have been a smile flirting with the edges of his lips if he hadn't been so utterly Severus about it.
Remus blinked, unused to such focused but non-threatening attention from the Slytherin. "I suppose," he said carefully, crossing the room to take up the potion. "Severus, thank you for brewing this for me. You've no idea how much it means."
"About the same as it did when you thanked me the last two months, I expect," Severus said dryly.
Remus shrugged. "Yes, about that much." Prolonging the moment when he would have to swallow the disgusting concoction down, fighting against his gag reflex the entire time, Remus regarded the swan curiously. "I wonder where she came from."
"Australia," Severus said without missing a beat.
Remus arched an eyebrow in a rather Snape-like expression. "How do you know that?"
"Cygnus atratus," Severus said patronizingly. "She's a black swan, Lupin. They only live in Australia, unless she escaped from some Muggle zoo closer to us." At Remus' disbelieving look, he said, "Your little redheaded friend isn't the only person capable of knowing a thing or two about swans."
"What on earth is she doing here, then?" Remus asked.
"Off on a holiday excursion, I expect."
"Severus..."
"How should I know, Lupin?" Severus rolled his eyes and returned to the task before him. "She is here now and she is injured. I will therefore care for her until such a time as she can care for herself."
Remus shrugged off Severus' sarcasm and held up the goblet in a one-sided toast, aware that the swan was watching him while Severus was not. He swallowed the gelatinous, acidic gloop as quickly as he could, his eyes stinging from the effort. To his consternation, the swan seemed to be laughing at him.
"Is she sleeping with you?" he blurted.
Severus dropped his scalpel with a clatter. What the hell was he dissecting? Whatever it was, it was still moving. "In spite of whatever inflammatory gossip you might have heard or started, I am not into bestiality, werewolf."
Again, that barbed tone. "I meant, is she sleeping in your quarters," he said slowly, as if speaking to a particularly slow student, trying to bite down on his own ire. Insufferable bastard. "Not if you practiced any sexual deviancies."
"She is," Severus drawled back. "Good night, Lupin."
Remus rolled his eyes, replaced the goblet, and let himself out. He nearly tripped over his own feet when Severus called after him, "And Lupin? I practice one or two."
~*~
Remus had been more conscious of Severus' shadowy presence this school year, but now he was hyperaware. Everywhere the Quidditch coach went, Odile waddled along behind him. At breakfast the next morning, Remus arrived to find the swan reposing regally in his own chair next to Severus. She was pecking at something dark and oozing on Remus' plate. He recognized it as whatever Severus had been vivisecting the night before.
"Move," Remus snapped at the swan. She barely glanced at him before returning to her meal. Remus reached out to grab her by her sides, and she crinked her neck backward and stabbed Remus' hand with her beak, hissing evilly.
Remus danced backward, swearing colourfully. He bit his lip to shut himself up when he heard a wave of suppressed laughter from the children. Everyone was watching him to see what he would do next. Clutching his bleeding hand, he turned to appeal to Severus. And his jaw nearly dropped open when he saw that Severus was one of the people laughing. Not too much and not too obviously, but his expression was amicable, his lips quirked upward, teeth showing, a devious sparkle in the dark depths of his eyes. Remus felt a blush spreading unbidden from his cheeks downward. Severus looked open, relaxed, and so ridiculously desirable that it seemed to roll off him in visible waves.
"Yes, Lupin, being bested by a swan is humiliating," he said, his voice dark, his laughter lacing through it.
Remus mustered a suitably annoyed-but-mild expression, privately thankful that Severus had misinterpreted his pink cheeks as a sign of embarrassment over the bloody swan and not all-out lust. "Can you get Her Majesty to move her feathered arse, please?" he asked through gritted teeth, his voice too low for anyone but Severus to hear.
The other man reached over and ran two long fingers over Odile's dark head, stroking downward along her graceful neck. The swan shivered and leaned into his touch. If Remus hadn't known better, he'd have sworn she was purring. Severus repeated the motion several times before standing. To Remus' shock, the same two fingers touched the back of his own hand for the briefest of moments, and then Severus pulled Odile's chair out for her and lifted her to the floor. The two of them swept out of the Hall together, leaving Remus gaping after them. He laid his fingers briefly to the back of his tingling hand before sinking into his chair, still warm from where the bloody overgrown goose had perched. He hadn't imagined the touch, so what the hell did it mean?
Charlie Weasley had a few ideas as they shared a cuppa in The Hut. Though no one except Charlie's menagerie of wounded creatures had actually lived in it since Hagrid had died for the cause, it still had all the accoutrements of a home, including a kettle and a stovetop percolator.
"One, he's gone 'round the fucking twist with that swan," Charlie said, holding up one thick finger.
"No argument," Remus muttered, thinking about Severus' hand lingering on her smooth black feathers.
Charlie's second finger popped up. "Two, maybe he's not quite as oblivious as we all assumed."
"About?"
"You, you prat," Charlie said with an exasperated sigh. "Honestly, you've been mooning after him for months. It's not hard to interpret the lovesick look on your mug and see who you're pointing it at."
Remus massaged the back of his neck, not looking at Charlie. Something behind him squawked. "The thing is, I really hated him."
"I know."
"For so many reasons."
"We all did."
"But I couldn't hate him after he protected Harry in the end. It could have been so much more painful."
This time it was Charlie's turn to look away, stricken. "I hated him for not saving Harry."
"He nearly died trying," Remus said softly, surprised at the depth of emotion that Charlie was struggling to gain control of. He'd never seen it before from Charlie.
"I saw the trials. The memories in the Pensieves," Charlie said, bending to scratch Fang's ears. The elderly boarhound moaned happily and dropped his massive head onto Charlie's scuffed boots.
"As did I. And we ended up recovering in the same ward at St Mungo's after... after." It was funny how little they all talked about the end. "I couldn't even dislike him when all was said and done." Remus closed his eyes for a moment. No. He couldn't hate him after everything.
Charlie seemed to shake himself out of whatever past place he'd just been. "It's a big leap from not disliking to openly lusting."
Remus grimaced, abashed. "I do not openly lust."
"Whatever you say, mate."
"You're going to think I'm a complete idiot."
"You're in love with Snape," Charlie pointed out. "I already do."
Remus glanced out the window, just in time to see Snape himself striding across the grounds, Odile tucked under his arm. She looked entirely too smug. "It was just after Filius hired me to take on his old position. I was popping down to the Quidditch pitch because I thought Oliver Wood was still teaching here- old student of mine, you know. I wanted to say hello."
"You hadn't heard the Wasps had re-signed him after the war," Charlie guessed.
"Exactly. I stuck my head into the locker room to holler for him..." Remus trailed off, half-lost in the visual of his memory, half-embarrassed.
"Yessss?"
"Severus was coming out of the shower in nothing but a well-placed towel," Remus murmured, talking to his hands.
He heard a muffled snort of laughter across the table. "I see."
"So did I."
Both men were silent for a moment before they burst out laughing together. "That's what it took?" Charlie giggled. "Skinny, sallow, naked Snape?"
"He'd been training for months," Remus explained hastily, blushing even more deeply. "You know Severus- he never does anything by halves. If he couldn't have Potions or Defense Against the Dark Arts, he'd give his all to whatever he was given."
"So he looked good?" Charlie asked incredulously. Fang transferred his head to the redhead's lap with a happy sigh, and Charlie began to scratch his ears absently. "For, er, Snape?"
"Toned and tanned," Remus replied dreamily. At the other man's sceptical look, he amended, "Well, maybe not tanned. But healthier than he ever was when he skulked underground like an inferius twenty-four hours a day."
"Did he see you?"
"He couldn't miss me," Remus lamented, draining his coffee. "I was staring like I'd been frozen with a bodybind curse. His invective was both creative and profuse."
"What'd you do?"
Remus shrugged. "I cussed him out right back. I learned in the hospital not to take his tantrums or his head trips any longer."
"And then?"
"Nothing."
"Letdown of an ending to your story, Remus," Charlie said reproachfully.
"What can I say?" Remus said helplessly. "We sit next to each other at meals. He makes me the Wolfsbane. We exchange occasionally civil and more frequently incensing words."
"And once he touched the back of your hand," Charlie said over Fang's snores.
Remus could still feel the touch from that morning, burned into his flesh. "Once he did."
Charlie patted Remus on the shoulder as if he was a member of Charlie's pound. "You've got to make yourself a better ending to your story."
Remus nodded. "If he can tear himself away from that damned swan long enough to let me."
When Remus left The Hut later that evening, he felt marginally better. If he and Severus could just talk, they might have a chance at something more. As he closed the door behind him, though, he couldn't help but notice Charlie taking a bottle of ale and pouring himself a very large drink into one of Hagrid's old tankards.
~*~
She was gliding gracefully across the dark water a week later. A week that had seen another full moon and more meals with the damned swan seated in his chair, and episode after episode of Severus taking her wherever he went. She sat in the stands and watched serenely as he taught his classes. She waddled after him as he stormed through the halls, catching students out of bed. She presided over detentions with him, hissing at anyone who stepped out of line.
And here she was swimming happily about the part of the lake that extended underground, into the bedrock and foundations of the school itself where the boats docked with the first years each September 1st. The entrance to Severus' laboratory was just ahead, but Remus paused, watching the way she moved. Awkward on her feet, when she was in the water she was as elegant as Severus himself.
Remus leaned against the glistening rock wall. "I wonder what he'd say if I told him he was elegant," he mused out loud. The swan seemed to shrug but kept swimming. Remus chuckled ruefully. "'Hello Severus, just watching you move makes me want to jump you.' He'd kill me, wouldn't he? Of course he would."
Odile cackled her agreement.
"Easy for Charlie to sit back and give me advice," he sighed, stepping forward again, eyes following her progress. "Anyone ever tell you you're an excellent listener?"
"Why do you think I allow her presence?" a voice murmured directly into his ear.
Remus swallowed his yelp of shock, his whole body rigid. "Severus. I didn't hear you." Damn it, a man in his forties should be able to control his voice so it didn't break! Severus was right behind him, only a whisper between them. Remus could feel his body heat radiating through the frigid cavern.
"Sound from the lake masks most everything else," Severus explained softly.
"Does it," Remus said, unable to think of any other words. He turned around, trying to remember the reasons he'd invented for coming down here. Severus didn't step back, and Remus found himself tantalizingly close. A fleeting vision of Severus wet from the showers, dark hair clinging to his neck like Odile's feathers, overlaid Severus now.
"What do you want, Lupin?" Severus' words kissed Remus' lips, intoxicating him. God, what a question.
"Everything," Remus whispered, tilting his head upward, mouth almost brushing against the taller man's, pure need driving him forward against all of his rational judgement.
"Ambitious," Severus decided. One long finger crooked under Remus' chin, barely touching him, yet locking him place.
"Severus..."
"Unfortunately, I was just about to retrieve Odile and step out for the night." The hand drew back, releasing Remus. "Good evening, Lupin."
Before Remus could fully register the way the biting dampness of the lake was enrobing him once more, Severus had leviosa'd the swan out of the water, and the two were halfway up the dark corridor into the castle. A shiver overtook him. What the hell had that been?
"Severus, wait!" He stalked after them, catching the startled Slytherin by the elbow.
"Yes?"
Remus had no idea what he was going to say. "Dinner," he blurted.
"Excuse me?" The question was accented by Odile's hiss.
"With me. You and me." Remus didn't understand why his idiotic tongue wouldn't form the sentence in his mind.
"Yes, Lupin, that is what we do in the Great Hall each evening." Severus smirked.
Remus abandoned words, since they had apparently abandoned him, and hooked one hand around Severus' neck, pulling him down a few inches to press a swift, hard kiss against his lips. He pulled back and they stared at each other, wide-eyed. Severus' fingers flexed convulsively as though he wanted to reach out but couldn't quite do it.
So Remus did it for him, touching his cheek tentatively, following the strong lines of his face, feeling a bit of stubble against his jaw. He stepped forward again, heat coiling deep in his belly, his thumb smoothing over Severus' thin bottom lip. The other man was stiff and unmoving, but he was neither retreating nor throwing hexes. Remus wanted to taste him, to savour their breath mingling, their-
"Bloody fucking HELL!" Pain shot through his leg, and Remus glared down at the dark, wet figure who had just driven her scarlet beak into his calf. Odile glared back.
"Quite," Severus said, his voice tight and cutting. He scooped the bird up and she rested her head on his shoulder, looking back at Remus. They paced up the stone corridor without another word, a pair of glittering swan eyes staring Remus down reproachfully until Severus rounded the corner.
Once again, Remus went to Charlie to staunch the flow of blood.
"This is the sixth swan-related injury I've helped you with," the redhead pointed out, smoothing an antibacterial gel into the incision just below Remus' rolled-up trouser cuff.
"Sodding swan is a menace," Remus complained. "You should check to make sure she hasn't given me rabies."
"Don't let Snape hear you making rabies jokes. He'd never let you live it down."
Remus watched Charlie perform a healing charm, and rolled his cuff down again. "Thanks."
"Just call me Healer Weasley. So just what'd you do to offend Her Highness, anyway?"
Trying to snog Severus Snape. "I wanted to live up to my supposed Gryffindor courage, follow your shining advice, and ask Severus to dinner."
Both of Charlie's eyebrows shot up. "Did he agree?"
"He didn't really say either way," Remus groaned, his head dropping into his hands. Fang nuzzled his thigh in sympathy. "Bloody bird distracted him. And he's cryptic at the best of times anyway."
Charlie grinned lopsidedly. "Just going to have to try again."
Remus sighed. "I really hate that swan."
~*~
She wasn't sitting in his chair that evening. She was in Flitwick's empty seat, much to the amusement of staff and students.
"Headmistress," Remus said on his way by, he and the swan exchanging unpleasant expressions. He dropped into his chair, not looking at the man beside him. They ate in absolute silence, only the sound of utensils scraping their plates between them. Remus rocked between sparring urges, wanting to reach over and snog the living hell out of Severus and wanting at the same time to demand to know what the other man thought was going on. He was about to stand, finished his meal, when he felt something touch his knee fleetingly. Severus' hand. Oh god. His gaze flew to the Quidditch coach's impassive face.
Severus met his startled look. "Wish granted."
"Pardon me?" Such an innocent touch, Remus reflected, should not inflame him quite so much.
"You wanted, as you said, 'Dinner. You and me.'"
Remus stared. "Is this a joke?"
Severus shook his head, his curtains of dark hair swaying. "I have done as you requested. Now will you be good enough to stop following me about? One pet dogging my footsteps is quite enough."
Remus' mouth opened and closed several times. "I... You..."
"Well put." Odile was already waiting for him and they exited, leaving a cold, confused werewolf in their wake.
Remus conjured a chair at the other end of the table next to Versa Sinistra at breakfast the next morning. Immaturity be damned, he was not sitting by Severus Snape any longer. He deserted his old spot to the dark-feathered usurper, and both Snape and swan seemed happy with the new arrangement. That Snape had finally lost his mind was old news to the students by now, and the sight of the sour Slytherin seated next to his pampered pet swan barely warranted a second glance anymore. Versa was a lovely woman, if a bit dull, and Charlie was two chairs over, so Remus determinedly involved himself in conversation with people around him each meal. If his eyes ever sought out the Quidditch coach, either bent over his meal or, surprisingly, having what looked to be quite civil chats with Elphaba Sprout, Pomona's sister and successor in the greenhouses, well, that was involuntary, coincidental, and couldn't be helped.
Remus stopped taking the long path to The Hut by way of the Quidditch Pitch. He changed his times and routes for evening patrols of Hogwarts' echoing halls after hours. Remus was firm in his decision: Snape wanted to be an enigmatic prick? Fine, he could be one for the benefit of Odile and no one else. Remus was sick of it.
And as he prowled the halls of the seventh floor late one Monday evening, he had nearly convinced himself that he didn't feel a little thrill of excitement each time he saw the bastard. He was almost sure that he was over Snape. After all, two weeks of silence as frosty as the coming winter outside had passed between them and it wasn't as though Remus was longing for another brush of broom-callused fingers against his hand. And the ridiculously graphic but ruthlessly-suppressed dreams he had each night were nothing more than his subconscious mind having a good joke at his expense. No, he didn't want to pounce on Snape, didn't want to lick his way down the arch of his neck, as graceful as his swan's, didn't want to catch him in the locker room again and peel away his towel...
Hang it all. Remus growled under his breath and shot a few vicious sparks at a portrait of a young wizard on a broomstick. He gave a start of fright, nearly falling off, and zoomed out of the painting, reappearing in the frame next to him and thoroughly alarming a group of witches who were having a sedate al fresco picnic.
"I say!" one of the portraits called down. "Terribly rude!"
"Shocking!" cried another.
"And you, a Hogwarts teacher!"
"What an example for the students!"
"Vandal!"
Remus swiped his wand in a wide arc and said, "Silencio! Calm down, all of you. I thought I saw a spider." A tall, menacing spider who made you think he found your presence tolerable and who actually spoke with you sometimes and touched you very occasionally and drove you mad with want. Damn it.
The magically gagged portraits glared down at him with roaring disapproval. Remus sighed and muttered, "Finite incantatem. My apologies for the breach in etiquette."
He stomped up the hall before any of the offended paintings could chastise him again. He passed a corridor branching off from his own, and so wrapped up in his own angry thoughts was he that he nearly missed the spectacle there. But he thought he saw a flash of bright silver light, so he retraced his steps, peering into the gloom. A set of luminous eyes glimmered malevolently through the darkness, and Remus heard an all too familiar hiss ripple from between two suits of armour. Mrs Norris stalked forward, her protracted claws clicking against the stone floor. Odile backed further up against the suit of armour on her good left wing spread out menacingly, but there was no mistaking the fear in her eyes.
Remus acted on instinct, cracking his wand at the predatory feline and shouting, "Petrificus totalus! Wingardium leviosa!"
Mrs Norris froze, tottered, and just before she toppled over was lifted up to hover mid-air. Remus directed her to the far end of the hallway before approaching Odile cautiously, hands out to show that he meant her no harm. The swan was quivering, but she didn't relax her battle stance.
"It's all right," Remus said as gently as possible, crouching down a few feet before her. "Relax. You're not going to be her midnight snack, at least not tonight."
Odile faltered, drawing her wing a bit closer to her sleek body.
Remus chuckled. "You're not so horrible, are you? You just demand all of his attention, and I rather think you sense that I would take some of that attention away from you if I could."
She hissed.
"No, of course I don't deny it. I've been trying to do so for a fortnight, and look where it's taken me. Nowhere." Remus sat down cross-legged on the floor across from the swan, twirling his wand absently between his fingers. She watched its movements curiously. "You're a lot like him. More like him than I am, I suppose. And I don't know if I could even tell you why I want him as much as I do. Not a year ago, I despised him and would have been happy to find him bleeding or dead."
A sharp look was cast his way. Remus shrugged. "We all make mistakes. You don't know how it looked at first. It seemed he was a traitor. Who'd have thought he was the most loyal to Albus of us all? And you weren't there in the hospital, either. While we were recovering."
She cooed a little, as if encouraging him, and waddled forward a few paces.
"We talked. More than he and I have ever talked. It's funny discovering you share interests and outlooks in common with someone you hated so very much. He was... funny, in an acerbic, Snapey kind of way. He abused the healers quite vocally until they brought us the best of everything. Food, bedding, reading material. And he shared everything with me. It was as though we were in it together. The atmosphere between us was relaxed. I... I rather thought we might be friends after that."
Odile sauntered forward further until she was squatting immediately in front of him, and she laid her head on his knee. Tentatively, he brushed her feathers with his fingers the way he'd seen Severus do. She honked happily.
"And then, of course, was the infamous moment in the showers. And I haven't been able to get him out of my head since. You go everywhere with him- you've probably seen him naked. So you would understand, wouldn't you?" Remus traced the line of her neck, marvelling at the soft smoothness of her feathers. "I have no idea how I... if I... I might be in love with him," he admitted miserably. "I'm not sure yet. I had hoped that I could get to know him better this year, but you've put quite the kink that plan. I wonder where you came from. I think someone must have sent you to make my life more complicated."
Remus' rambling was interrupted by a horror-struck screech, and Argus Filch came bounding down the corridor, stopping dead in front of the hovering, petrified Mrs Norris. Odile lifted her head up and hissed.
"Not again!" he sobbed, taking her in his arms and rocking her close. "My cat! YOU! You've killed my cat!"
A streak of silver in his peripheral vision distracted Remus from answering immediately, and then Severus Snape came hurtling around the corner as well. He took in the tableau with one sweeping gaze, and his eyes narrowed dangerously at Filch.
"Your cat tried to eat my swan."
The tone was deep and dark and promised all kinds pain for Filch and Mrs Norris. Remus shivered in spite of himself. He knew that he shouldn't be turned on by that voice, and he scrambled to his feet.
"You killed her," Filch bellowed, pointing one shaking finger at Remus.
"Oh, for- finite incantatem," Remus snapped, and Mrs Norris came alive once more with a yowl in Filch's arms. She tried to wrench her body free and launch herself at Odile, who was crouched at Remus' feet, spitting and beating the air with her good wing. "She was attacking Odile, Argus. I merely disabled her."
"Odile cannot yet fend for herself," Severus said to Filch, outraged, and he scooped her into his arms, cradling her more tenderly than Remus had ever seen him handle anything. "That lynx masquerading as a housecat... If Remus hadn't been here, Filch, I'd have had your head, heart, and kidneys on a silver platter for my breakfast!"
"Don't you go hexing my cat!" Filch shrieked at Remus, ignoring Severus' tantrum in favour of pitching his own.
"Keep better watch on her, then," Remus countered, and he pushed past Severus and Odile and headed back to his rooms, Severus' words still ringing in his ears. If Remus hadn't been here...
But if Severus truly was grateful, he made no outward showing of it the next day, when Odile continued to occupy Remus' old spot in the Great Hall as if it were her due. However, though he couldn't quite be sure of it, he thought he saw Severus' eyes flicker toward him as he entered, and then return right away to his porridge.
Onward to the second half