20 Things to Know About My Horse
1. He's a butthead.
2. He's a big poopy butthead.
3. Except when he's sweet.
4. He's smarter than me.
5. He's smarter than everybody.
6. When I gave him a treat Saturday and held up my empty hands to show I had no more treats, he picked up his empty feed tub, waved it and dropped it in front of me.
7. This means my horse thinks I'm stupid.
8. This means he's probably right.
9. When he sees a mare, he runs over to greet her as if he is still capable of romantic interest. For the record? HE'S NOT.
10. He doesn't care. Maybe this means he is stupid.
11. He has really long legs and insists on continuing to grow. He is tall. I am not.
12. Maybe this means I am stupid.
13. Today, when I turned him out into the exercise pen, he optimistically ran over to the feeder tubs that NEVER have feed in them. Maybe this means he is stupid.
14. There was feed today. Now I will never be able to convince him that there is NEVER feed in those particular tubs. This certainly will make me feel stupid in the future.
15. He is for sale.
16. Today, some women came to look at him.
17. They didn't like his feet or his legs or his hips or his shortness.
18. I still think he's tall.
19. They didn't notice that the funny way his feet grow make him special or that he whuffles in my palm just to make sure the hands are empty or that he stupidly runs over to greet mares he can't make nookie with. They didn't notice that these things are SUPER CUTE.
20. I think I'm glad they didn't want him. I wasn't ready to see his poopy-headed butt-ugly, stupid-making self leave.
2. He's a big poopy butthead.
3. Except when he's sweet.
4. He's smarter than me.
5. He's smarter than everybody.
6. When I gave him a treat Saturday and held up my empty hands to show I had no more treats, he picked up his empty feed tub, waved it and dropped it in front of me.
7. This means my horse thinks I'm stupid.
8. This means he's probably right.
9. When he sees a mare, he runs over to greet her as if he is still capable of romantic interest. For the record? HE'S NOT.
10. He doesn't care. Maybe this means he is stupid.
11. He has really long legs and insists on continuing to grow. He is tall. I am not.
12. Maybe this means I am stupid.
13. Today, when I turned him out into the exercise pen, he optimistically ran over to the feeder tubs that NEVER have feed in them. Maybe this means he is stupid.
14. There was feed today. Now I will never be able to convince him that there is NEVER feed in those particular tubs. This certainly will make me feel stupid in the future.
15. He is for sale.
16. Today, some women came to look at him.
17. They didn't like his feet or his legs or his hips or his shortness.
18. I still think he's tall.
19. They didn't notice that the funny way his feet grow make him special or that he whuffles in my palm just to make sure the hands are empty or that he stupidly runs over to greet mares he can't make nookie with. They didn't notice that these things are SUPER CUTE.
20. I think I'm glad they didn't want him. I wasn't ready to see his poopy-headed butt-ugly, stupid-making self leave.