(Untitled)

[rosecolrdapathy]

I can't believe it's been a year. I'm not sure what masochistic notion possessed me to do so but I just read all the replies to timor's last post. And so I'm sitting here crying because I know that I didn't need a reminder of how amazing he was, but I needed to see what we all said. and words seem so frail. I know I could never say what I feel

Comments

[6degrsofremorse]

We all feel as you do, I want to see him again.. we sent him regards from you, it was a nice day. Hope college finds you well.

<33 hails

[shellecho9]

I can't even begin to comprehend how you must feel about something like this, Ben. You and Timor were good friends who knew each other better than he and I did.

But I still have these days where I get up, go to get dressed, look at the picture of all of us together at my 15th birthday party in 2003, and the reality of this entire situation just absolutely blindsides me to the point where I feel I'm almost going to physically reel from it. It's then that I realize how real it all is, how a great person is no longer here, how a mother and brother have to go on now without any way out of this shit hole mess.

I'm still at the stage where it's better to forget the fact that I won't ever see him again than to try and let this reality of ours get to me.

Not a day goes by where I don't think of him.