[Family by Choice] Let's talk about...
Title/Prompt: Let's Talk About...
Story/Characters: Family by Choice / Kalmenka, Adolf (& Mattias)
Rating: PG
In response to a challenge put out by
recessional for "something about an air-quotes "sexually deviant" relationship that has nothing to do with the sex aspect of their relationship." (as a further response to someone being a phobic asshat online). So here! Have some perfectly gen awkward conversation.
* * * * *
"He's your son," Adolf said without looking up from his book. It was a new one, the gold stamped letters across the cloth cover still bright and shiny, and Adolf had been buried up to his nose in it for the last two evenings, pillows thrown up against the headboard so that he could sit curled on his half of the bed and angle the pages towards the lamp light. "You should talk to him."
"Don't do that," Kalmenka replied, frowning down at his own evening project - a pair of socks, the heel of one which was in dire need of darning.
Adolf glanced up briefly, the light reflecting white off of his glasses. "Do what?"
"That emphasis thing," Kalmenka grumbled, giving the other man's shoulder a nudge with his own. "He's your son too."
Adolf shoved back, successfully claiming another inch of the pillows as Kalmenka had to grab for his darning needle. "Be that as it may," the other man said primly, "he was your son first."
"And that," Kalmenka added, waving the blunt tipped needle at him irritably. "You only do that when you want to pawn something off on me because you don't want to have to deal with it."
"Well," Adolf replied, unrepentant, "I don't." Sighing, he stuck a finger between the pages to hold his place and closed his book, turning an exasperated expression on his lover. "Honestly, Kalmenka, between the two of us, which one is more qualified to do this? Hm?"
"It's a moot point anyways," Kalmenka replied around a mouthful of yarn, the cut tip of which he was trying to roll into a point. "He went through basic training. And a full year in the ranks. Trust me, he's already heard it all."
Adolf snorted and reached over to yank the thread of yarn from Kalmenka's mouth, provoking a yelp from the other man. "Oh yes," he said, scathing. "You'll kindly remember, main Harr, that I went through basic training too. And a goodly few years in the ranks, and I know how much slander, boasting, misinformation and ridiculous bragging goes on there. Do you honestly think that's a good basis of an education, or that your sisters won't rightfully beat you black and blue if you leave it at that?"
"'ey," Kalmenka protested. "Don't fight dirty, 'dolf. Sóphie doesn't get a say, not when she's got András there to do it for her..." He paused, thoughtful. "Now there's an idea..."
Adolf dug an elbow into his ribs, not at all by accident. "You are not going to get your brother in law to do this, Kalmenka," he warned darkly. "For Luck's sake, just talk to the boy."
"Easy for you to say," Kalmenka grumbled, trying to line up yarn end and eye of the needle. "You know he's going to want to sit through it about as much as the cat does through a bath. And honestly, I don't see what the rush is..."
"He's fifteen," his lover reminded him, flat voiced.
"Yes, and these things happen at that age..."
Adolf's fingers dug into his jaw, tugging his head around. "And what were you doing at that age, hm?" the other man asked pointedly. "Nearly married, wasn't it, because you couldn't keep it in your pants when a pretty girl offered?"
"Oh," Kalmenka managed, sheepish. "Sóphie told you about that, did she?"
"It might have come up once," Adolf replied sharply, letting him go with a blunt pat to his cheek. "Honestly, Kalmenka, just talk to him. I don't think either of us want to end up grandfathers this early."
"I think you're vastly overestimating his social skills," Kalmenka sighed, turning back to his yarn, "but fine, yes, alright, I'll talk to him."
Adolf leaned over to press a brief kiss to his cheek. "See?" he said. "Not so hard."
"You're only saying that because you're not doing it," Kalmenka growled. It earned him another pat on his thigh, the other man's weight resting warm against his side as Adolf settled back against the pillows and opened his book once more.
"Don't complain," Adolf told him cheerfully, and kindly refrained from following it up until after Kalmenka had taken the thread from his mouth. "It's what you get for being an expert."
(Additional Comment Fic: The In-Laws)
Story/Characters: Family by Choice / Kalmenka, Adolf (& Mattias)
Rating: PG
In response to a challenge put out by
recessional for "something about an air-quotes "sexually deviant" relationship that has nothing to do with the sex aspect of their relationship." (as a further response to someone being a phobic asshat online). So here! Have some perfectly gen awkward conversation.
* * * * *
"He's your son," Adolf said without looking up from his book. It was a new one, the gold stamped letters across the cloth cover still bright and shiny, and Adolf had been buried up to his nose in it for the last two evenings, pillows thrown up against the headboard so that he could sit curled on his half of the bed and angle the pages towards the lamp light. "You should talk to him."
"Don't do that," Kalmenka replied, frowning down at his own evening project - a pair of socks, the heel of one which was in dire need of darning.
Adolf glanced up briefly, the light reflecting white off of his glasses. "Do what?"
"That emphasis thing," Kalmenka grumbled, giving the other man's shoulder a nudge with his own. "He's your son too."
Adolf shoved back, successfully claiming another inch of the pillows as Kalmenka had to grab for his darning needle. "Be that as it may," the other man said primly, "he was your son first."
"And that," Kalmenka added, waving the blunt tipped needle at him irritably. "You only do that when you want to pawn something off on me because you don't want to have to deal with it."
"Well," Adolf replied, unrepentant, "I don't." Sighing, he stuck a finger between the pages to hold his place and closed his book, turning an exasperated expression on his lover. "Honestly, Kalmenka, between the two of us, which one is more qualified to do this? Hm?"
"It's a moot point anyways," Kalmenka replied around a mouthful of yarn, the cut tip of which he was trying to roll into a point. "He went through basic training. And a full year in the ranks. Trust me, he's already heard it all."
Adolf snorted and reached over to yank the thread of yarn from Kalmenka's mouth, provoking a yelp from the other man. "Oh yes," he said, scathing. "You'll kindly remember, main Harr, that I went through basic training too. And a goodly few years in the ranks, and I know how much slander, boasting, misinformation and ridiculous bragging goes on there. Do you honestly think that's a good basis of an education, or that your sisters won't rightfully beat you black and blue if you leave it at that?"
"'ey," Kalmenka protested. "Don't fight dirty, 'dolf. Sóphie doesn't get a say, not when she's got András there to do it for her..." He paused, thoughtful. "Now there's an idea..."
Adolf dug an elbow into his ribs, not at all by accident. "You are not going to get your brother in law to do this, Kalmenka," he warned darkly. "For Luck's sake, just talk to the boy."
"Easy for you to say," Kalmenka grumbled, trying to line up yarn end and eye of the needle. "You know he's going to want to sit through it about as much as the cat does through a bath. And honestly, I don't see what the rush is..."
"He's fifteen," his lover reminded him, flat voiced.
"Yes, and these things happen at that age..."
Adolf's fingers dug into his jaw, tugging his head around. "And what were you doing at that age, hm?" the other man asked pointedly. "Nearly married, wasn't it, because you couldn't keep it in your pants when a pretty girl offered?"
"Oh," Kalmenka managed, sheepish. "Sóphie told you about that, did she?"
"It might have come up once," Adolf replied sharply, letting him go with a blunt pat to his cheek. "Honestly, Kalmenka, just talk to him. I don't think either of us want to end up grandfathers this early."
"I think you're vastly overestimating his social skills," Kalmenka sighed, turning back to his yarn, "but fine, yes, alright, I'll talk to him."
Adolf leaned over to press a brief kiss to his cheek. "See?" he said. "Not so hard."
"You're only saying that because you're not doing it," Kalmenka growled. It earned him another pat on his thigh, the other man's weight resting warm against his side as Adolf settled back against the pillows and opened his book once more.
"Don't complain," Adolf told him cheerfully, and kindly refrained from following it up until after Kalmenka had taken the thread from his mouth. "It's what you get for being an expert."
(Additional Comment Fic: The In-Laws)