(no subject)
My day wasn't as bad in comparison to lots of the tragedies happening to other people, but since it's such an intrinsic thing, my crap day is monumentally crap to me.
It started with me forgetting Rachel's book with all her VKK study notes in them. Well, I thought I left it at home, so I rushed home (and was late for class as a result) to find the book wasn't there. After frantically searching, we found that we had left it at the photocopy place over the weekend! Idiots that we are.
Basically, the worst was that I've never had to do the breaking up (at least not when the decision is mutual). And I've never seen anyone so calm and understanding. It sounded so much clearer in my head, but when I was actually saying it all, it just didn't make sense- dumping someone wonderful without too much of a reason. It doesn't help that everyone is making me feel much fucking worse because I left A for B. It wasn't the most tactful of things and I probably shouldn't even be in a relationship, but it's there and it's all messed up. It messes me up, it messes other people up and makes my future even more unclear.
Wonderful. This despondency is a great look for me. I'm drowning in my work and starting not to really care about much at all. I'm hoping this will pass, but it's getting worse each passing minute. I'd better try some work to distract myself. We're busy designing websites (with my newly acquired HTML skills). Gotta do it all from scratch- just notepad and my frikkin' shoddy memory. I like the idea of doing a Tim Burton site. That could be fun.
Sighs. This is getting far too moody and watching Grey's Anatomy didn't help. Seeing an old couple where the wife is dying but she doesn't want her husband to know and the husband, not knowing that the wife knows, doesn't want her to know and therefore fear her impending death. Wonderfully cheery. That's love. Suffering like that. I'm never going to find that.