[001] Inexplicable Arrival

[rosesandlimes]

[As soon as she woke up in her cell at the Keep, Iriel counted to ten. It was the only thing that kept her from running out and exposing herself in a potentially hostile environment. While counting, she checked herself for weapons. Bow and quiver, check. Handgun, check. Knife, check. Rifle...missing. The last time she'd had it, it had been kicked

Comments

[text]

[likesfootnotes]

I have yet to meet a bull quite so capable of producing all this, so by elimination, it must be true.

Others will undoubtedly rush to welcome you to the Keep, so I shan't worry myself with rolling out another red carpet. Too many and the floor would be to thick to walk upon.

[text]

[rosesandlimes]

[Iriel writes back in a spiky sort of scrawl. It's hasty, quick, but there's definitely some humor to her words.]

That would be quite the bull to see. And stand to the side of.

So if you're not writing to welcome me and trip me up with carpet, what are you writing for?

[text]

[likesfootnotes]

[Bartimaeus has an elegant scrawl today, reminiscent of the Syrian texts he claims to have inspired. Don't believe him? He expects witnesses before this slander is heard!]

The smell would warrant being at least a county away. 1

Testing the water. It's best to keep on top of things to ensure that nothing foul's entered the well.

1 - Fresh leavings tend to be quite pungent. Better to put the Channel between you and such a deposit, lest it steep your clothing in eau de bull.

[text]

[rosesandlimes]

I'll be sure to keep your advice in mind. I have no interest in being near stinky bull crap.

[The nice thing about text is it's easier to carry a sort of double-conversation with someone.]

Did someone put you in charge of keeping the waters clean, or did you take that heavy burden upon yourself?

[text]

[likesfootnotes]

I'm pleased to say no! 2 Were that the case, then I would have found some way out of the task by now.

No, it's an instinct of sanity preservation. Can't have anything untoward sneaking in unnoticed. 3

2 - While my presence is this Keep is entirely not of my own volition, I am pleased by the fact that I've not been bound to any purpose. This leaves me free to do all manner of things that certain Mandrakes would consider impudent.

3 - If you are reading this and feel an angry heat rising in your ears, congratulations! You are undoubtedly the exact person I refer to.

[text]

[rosesandlimes]

You talk/write too much.

1. What's with the foot notes?
2. What do you mean you're not bound by any purpose?
3. What are mandrakes?
4. No angry heat rising in my ears.
5. If you're trying to watch all of us, who's watching you?

[Yep. Questions. She's got 'em. Iriel doesn't see the purpose of him separating his statements like he has with foot notes but for all of that congestion (as she sees it) she can return the favor with an organized and numbered response.

And why yes, she is questioning if he's one of those untoward things that has slipped under someone else's radar.

Oh ho ho, she's onto you Bartimaeus.]

[text]

[likesfootnotes]

And you fail to appreciate the finer things in life. 4 You also showcase dreadful gaps in your education quite shamelessly. Allow me to enlighten what is clearly a dim situation.

1. They are to elaborate on points that you would otherwise miss. Given your obvious ignorance, I shall triple these helpful additions. Will you require definitions for the particularly complex words? 5
   
2. I mean that no magician has tasked me with something that I must complete, or risk my essence being subjected to the Shrivelling Fire. 6
   
3. An unfortunate brand of human being. You're not missing out on anything particularly important there.
   
4. Then rest assured that you are not the one for whom the note was intended!
   
5. You imply that a spirit of my moral stature would require oversight? Such rudeness!

Class dismissed! You may bring an apple tomorrow, but don't think that it shall earn you a gold star so easily.

4 - Me, as a point of fact. There's not much finer to be had

[text] Sob, so much HTML

[rosesandlimes]

[Well shit. Two can play at this game. Iriel takes much more care with her answers this time. ]

Your claims seem to be premature and subjective.7 My education may lacking in some areas but I'm more than knowledgeable enough for my work.8

1. I knew what they were. My question was about why you were using them, though I suppose you just answered as much. It isn't a particularly time-efficient method of conveying information. Also, if I need definitions I'll ask. [Can you just feel the line-face expression she has right now, Bartimaeus?]
2. So you are, or were a slave to Magicians, and now you are not?
3. I'll take your word for it unless they happen to be here at this Keep.
4. Thank the saints for small blessings then, I suppose.
5. Don't take it personally. At this point in time, I question and doubt just about everything and everyone.9

I'm not in the habit of trying to earn gold-stars from mystery correspondents without cause or incentive. Do you have a reason why I'd want to do something like that?

7 - I appreciate many fine

[text] welcome to my life, lololol

[likesfootnotes]

[Oh, Iriel, Bartimaeus has been doing this for centuries. He's ready to take anyone on!]

And your responses come across as inexperienced and immature. 10

1. Yet you have both read mine and adopted the technique. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery according to humans, you know..
   
2. To dull it down to the basic definition, yes. I shan't mystify you with the details - don't want your head to explode.
   
3. You question my other statements, but take me at face value here? 11
   
4. Never than a Saint - they're as bad as magicians hogging the credit that a djinni's worked hard to get.
   
5. Should I be offended? I find it amusing that you think your opinion matters that much to me.

The question is: Do you have a reason for not wanting one? Gold has remarkable street value, after all.

10 - I'd wager you have, at most, thirty decades behind your statements. That is a sneeze in time to someone like me and hardly worth flaunting. Would you accept a dissertation on the abolition of slavery from a three year old? I didn't think so