Random ficlet #1
Bit of a departure today. Because sometimes I don't write Luffy. And apparently this goldmine of comment-thread-inspired crack never quite left my brain.
Peaches
Crocodile leaned forward in his chair and scowled fiercely at the subordinate in front of him. Shadows deepened the harsh, angry crease above his eyes even more dangerously. "A pressing matter has come to my attention," he intoned with deadly fury. "Perhaps you can enlighten me. Why... does Mr 3 know that I have a mole on the cheek of my left buttock? Let alone feel free to comment casually upon the 'cuteness' of said mole in the corridor, this morning?"
"Ah... you have? He did?" Mr 2 Bon Clay licked his fingers thoughtfully (nervously) and twirled on his feet. "I'm quite sure I never realised that before, Croc honeeeee----y!"
"Don't call me honey!" the Shichibukai barked out.
"Yes, sweetche-- oh. Ah, yes sir. Yes, sir." The okama saluted and managed to paste a serious expression on his face and stand still, at least temporarily.
"And speaking of which," Crocodile continued, almost spitting the words out, "Why did Mr 1 call me 'Peaches' yesterday?"
"Ahhwwwwwwww!" Bon Clay hugged his hangs in front of his heart affectionately. "I always knew he was a romantic sap inside that heart of steeeeeeee----l!"
"That's not the point," Crocodile growled.
"It isn't?! You don't think it's sweet?"
"Well, it's unexpe-- no, it is not." The Shichibukai's aggressive stance dissolved into something more like a defensive hunch. "Mihawk sent me roses. Roses! Moria sent me a lace thong. Kuma... Kuma sent a marriage proposal." Veins twitched one after another in his forehead, and he finally stood up, tipping the desk with its assortment of 'gifts'. "What the hell have you been doing while wearing my body?!"
Bon Clay leaped up on the toes of his ballet shoes and was gone from the room in a flash, leaving only the coo-ed words "Seeyaaaaa--------aaa, Croc-chaaaaa-----n!" echoing on the air.
Alone, Crocodile huffed and pouted down at the pile of cards, flowers, and other paraphernalia now on the floor. "So he's really been cheating on me, hasn't he?" he asked them, glumly.
He went to pour a drink. He could feel a headache coming on.
And I'm promoting Crocodile and Bon Clay to having their own tags like Luffy and Robin. Because I feel like it.
Peaches
Crocodile leaned forward in his chair and scowled fiercely at the subordinate in front of him. Shadows deepened the harsh, angry crease above his eyes even more dangerously. "A pressing matter has come to my attention," he intoned with deadly fury. "Perhaps you can enlighten me. Why... does Mr 3 know that I have a mole on the cheek of my left buttock? Let alone feel free to comment casually upon the 'cuteness' of said mole in the corridor, this morning?"
"Ah... you have? He did?" Mr 2 Bon Clay licked his fingers thoughtfully (nervously) and twirled on his feet. "I'm quite sure I never realised that before, Croc honeeeee----y!"
"Don't call me honey!" the Shichibukai barked out.
"Yes, sweetche-- oh. Ah, yes sir. Yes, sir." The okama saluted and managed to paste a serious expression on his face and stand still, at least temporarily.
"And speaking of which," Crocodile continued, almost spitting the words out, "Why did Mr 1 call me 'Peaches' yesterday?"
"Ahhwwwwwwww!" Bon Clay hugged his hangs in front of his heart affectionately. "I always knew he was a romantic sap inside that heart of steeeeeeee----l!"
"That's not the point," Crocodile growled.
"It isn't?! You don't think it's sweet?"
"Well, it's unexpe-- no, it is not." The Shichibukai's aggressive stance dissolved into something more like a defensive hunch. "Mihawk sent me roses. Roses! Moria sent me a lace thong. Kuma... Kuma sent a marriage proposal." Veins twitched one after another in his forehead, and he finally stood up, tipping the desk with its assortment of 'gifts'. "What the hell have you been doing while wearing my body?!"
Bon Clay leaped up on the toes of his ballet shoes and was gone from the room in a flash, leaving only the coo-ed words "Seeyaaaaa--------aaa, Croc-chaaaaa-----n!" echoing on the air.
Alone, Crocodile huffed and pouted down at the pile of cards, flowers, and other paraphernalia now on the floor. "So he's really been cheating on me, hasn't he?" he asked them, glumly.
He went to pour a drink. He could feel a headache coming on.
And I'm promoting Crocodile and Bon Clay to having their own tags like Luffy and Robin. Because I feel like it.