a bit more ranting about stuff..

[rosiexriveter]

any of you who have aim and get on there today..you should check out the little headlines in there. actually interesting today. one is about linda ronstadt getting booed off stage and thrown out of her hotel for praising michael moore for farenheit 9/11, and the other is a video of kfc chickens being mistreated horribly. what happy things to wake

Comments

[girldelirium]

it seems very ani-esque. i dont think thats a bad thing though. just mentioning. i dont know what kind of critique you're looking for.

[rosiexriveter]

i certainly will take a comparison to ani as being a compliment, any day! i don't know what sort of a critique i was looking for exactly..just making sure it doesn't suck i suppose. thanks, madam!

[silentscavenger]

As a fellow writer, in personal terms, I commend you on both your creative process and your sharing what you have so far with us here. In my opinion, often times people try to dissect any particular piece of art for the artists intentions, which can be good, but when you relay that into something thats so much more natural, and may have just "come" to the artist, it won't develop much merit or may not be a viable avenue to help the artist transform the piece into something more than what they have. I think you should just allow it to be what seed you had in it's beginnings and focus on that.

Perhaps this is where my ramblings don't go any further than what they sounded like in my head, so I don't know if the above makes any sense, but if it helps, then run with it.

peace

[rosiexriveter]

phew..i had to read that twice, but i believe i understand now. my brain is kind of shot right now due to insanity heat. you do like it, though...right? :)

Indeed

[silentscavenger]

Indeed, I like it. I guess my whole rant was that if you are not satisfied with it, and it is a work in progress, keep going with it the way you feel most natural. As I was just trying to encourage you with some of my verbal masturbation is my fault and I apologize :)

[pushyouaround]

ok so i read the poem twice. some lines kinda turn me off but then some parts i really like.

i like this one in particular:

so you came along
to redefine my lines
knowing full well all along
that i'm mostly shadows.

sorry it took me so long to comment lady. I MIIIIIISSSSSS you.

[rosiexriveter]

it's coo. i was wondering if maybe you just absolutely hated it, and were afraid to tell me.
some of the lines would definitely not work well in a poem, and i tried to cut some of it..but i decided that for the sake of the melody i would leave em in.