Dandelion and Thistledown (2/4)

[rosiphelee]

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

And the second part. In which Nimbus proves an excellent fishmonger, the bombardment starts again, and we hear of the fates of the Saisorhi of Isola...

Title: Dandelion and Thistledown
Words: 4973
Warnings: Again, alcohol abuse, anguish

Comments

[shanra]

violet dawn and buried her head in her arms, <- violet sky, maybe, to avoid the repetition of dawn?

I already know what my name is, Aylili thought and wished she had a blanket to pull over her head. <- *snickers at the last bit* Also love the thought. Silly goose, but Nimbus doesn't and that's rather the point of it. *likes muchly*

“Great Light,” he said. “Do you realise the sun is barely up? Whatever did you wake me at this unnatural hour for, dear child?” <- Silly Nimbus. I love the linguistic note in this. It's short, brief and tantalising and yet never infodumpy as language notes can easily be even if they're short. It fits here. That's such a wonderful thing. ^-^

The
tenderest <- *amused* Think that's a formatting thing gone wrong. I can't see if that's just because of HTMLification or because it's this way in your original file, though, so I'm pointing it out. ^-^

keep her health[y,] but she could remember melon

Which was why Aylili agreed to his crazy plan. <- Awwww. That is such a beautiful touch there. ^-^ Love the way

[rosiphelee]

*nods* Good pick. Thanks.

Poor Aylili. She's not prepared for Nimbus in the mornings.

Oh, that language note. So many rewrites. *winces*

Thanks. That looks like over-eagerness with the enter key.

You can keep your health as well as keeping healthy.

She's developing a soft spot for the silly bird, bless her heart.

Nimbus is such an old ham. Poor Aylili is just being a normal teenager for once.

Given some of what I'd found out about Nimbus, Devon and Maria since I first wrote this, it really bothered me that he didn't recognise her. Having the age click there helped with that.

Nimbus obviously missed his calling *imagines him as a member of her own history department* Oh, help.

I use a lot of -t endings in the past tense, even when Words meeps at me for it. That's how I say them and it's an old-fashioned but usually valid spelling.

*hugs* Thank you. Sorry to be so rubbish at replying.