Sunday artz

[rospberry]

Just a wee one this week. A work in progress cause the original photo had some boats in and I need to sharpen up my pencils before I dive in, so to speak.

Comments

[fififolle]

I'm so sorry about your mum. I hope you both find some peace in all this. Have they ruled out any reason like water infection etc? I'm sure they have but you just don't know.

Beautiful painting.

[rospberry]

No medical reason for it other than the dementia and my mum's state of mind. They thought she might be experiencing pain - sometimes dementia patients can't express it - but doc seems to have ruled it out. She won't voluntarily take medication anyway. Sigh. Probably over sharing, but this won't be the first time my mum has tried to take her life (or made gestures in that direction) and that was before the dementia. Think there comes a point when you just have to respect her wishes...my only other option is to force care on her but the doc thinks that would serve no purpose. Agree with care home that we just make her comfortable. Certainly never thought I would be making these kind of decisions for my parents. 'Tis a bit shite.

[fififolle]

*hugs*
Glad to know they ruled out those things.
Thinking about you at this painful time.

[shooting2kill]

I'm so sorry for your sadness and worries. Watching someone close to you suffer is one of *the* hardest things to do. I hope your mum's not in pain and that they make her as comfortable as possible.

And yes, that's a beautiful painting.... as I look at it, I'm thinking of 'horizons' and journeys to unknown places.

[rospberry]

Luckily my mum is in a lovely care home and they are making sure she is comfortable. They are ready to get pain patches if they think she needs them, but the doctor doesn't think she is in any pain at the moment. She has just made the choice she has had enough and all we can do is honour her wishes. Never thought I'd be dealing with all of this...funny how life turns out. This is when I wish I had siblings. Ah, well.

Thanks for your comments about the picture. When I was doing it I wasn't too pleased with it, looking at it later made me change my mind. Debating about leaving it or adding the boats. Would hate to add the boats in and ruin the perspective. Decisions, decisions.

[shooting2kill]

Never thought I'd be dealing with all of this...funny how life turns out. This is when I wish I had siblings. Ah, well.

Being an only child can be very hard at this kind of time. Did you think it would have been your dad dealing with it?

IMHO I'd leave the painting as it is, I like it!

[rospberry]

I like your thinking about the picture!

If my dad had still been here I think it would have been worse, actually. I would have had to sort out the medical stuff with mum (which I did when he was still around) and help him cope emotionally. My mum was an alcoholic and abusive in the past and my dad bore the brunt of it...she seems to have regressed to that state of mind and I've had a few trying visits, and as upsetting as I find it, my dad would have fallen apart to see her returning to her old ways in full force. That would have destroyed me. The care home nurse doesn't think it's the dementia, she thinks it is deliberate. A family friend (who has seen my mum in full force in the past) thinks she has decided she is going to leave this world as forcefully as possible. My emotions are all over the place.

[fredbassett]

I'm so very sorry about your mum. So awful to feel there's nothing you can do. But as you say, it's her choice :(

That's a lovely piece of art! Really beautiful.

[rospberry]

Care home staff said they would do 'whatever I thought was right' (paraphrasing 'cause I can't remember the exact words) but haven't really given me any real options. As I see it, my choices are either to let her go or make the medical folks give her fluids and forcibly make her eat, but even if that was allowed in Scotland (a friend suggested the law was different up here although I haven't checked) the doc pointed out that with the fluids, at least, once they had rehydrated her and discharged her she would promptly decline again. There is thinking that force feeding dementia patients is wrong, and we have all made sure my mum understands the outcome of not eating. She is very clear. Wish I didn't have to make these decisions...or not make them, I suppose, since I am just letting events take their course. We have all tried to verbally get her eating and drinking again, and care home won't stop trying, but you can't force her. All fun.

Thanks for liking the pic!