Decide.
So we had Hip Hop rehearsal last night...
Moment of truth came...
And I completely backed out of wearing JUST booty shorts...
Like, there was this whole big 10 minute drama about it between Kristi & Jason and me... they were trying to get me to just run it once, but I couldn't. I'm stubborn in this fear. Ultimately they gave in, and now the guys are wearing shirts with the booty shorts...
I hate this fucking phobia of my body. It's annoying. Everytime I give myself a date to be ready by, or at least just the damn courage to get over it and just take it off, I always back out...
Last night AFTER hip hop, I went to Deazell's house because by the time we were done dancing it was already 11:30, and Mana said she'd be knocked out already. We were supposed to watch Roswell but I brought my burned DVD's and his X-Box doesn't play the bootleg. So we watched Simply Irrisistable... or atleast I did, lol. His ass fell asleep. We talked about stuff, didn't talk about stuff...
But tell me why when I went back to my car... I had my first parking violation. $45 fucking dollars! I parked in a "No Parking Any Time" zone. Totally my fault, I assumed it was good because this one van was parked right behind me...but right where my car started is where the "NPAT" zone started......whores........
Talent Show this Wednesday @ 7:00, in the Performing Art Center (PAC) on CSUN campus. It's free and you don't need tickets. Just show up.
I worked at Millennium today. Did register for the first time by myself ever. Tell me why when my manager Pam was counting out for the next shift to come in, she says, "MATT!" I say, "What?" She says, "Your register is fucking perfect! I'm so proud!"
I was thoroughly excited.
Mana has a job at Sees Candies. So jealous. Yay Mana.
So Katt lied to my face. Or my ear anyway. She's down here again. She called my cell phone last night asking me if I was free tomorrow. I told her we could hang out after work, and for her to call me at 4:00. She calls me at 4:45, from Jessie's phone, saying, "Matt, I've been trying to get a hold of you for hours!"............."Hours?" I say............."Well basically. I tried calling before but that didn't work so I called Christina to see if I had the right number, and I did, and that's why I'm calling now. But listen, my mom wants me to be home by 7:00 tonight, and it's already 5:00, so what are you doing tomorrow? Maybe we could hang out and be lazy and stupid and stuff and have more time to chill."
Honestly, Katt, if you wanted to talk and hang out with Jessie to go over your problems or whatever, that's all you had to say. I fully support you handling your shit with him right now first, boyfriends are a priority. But don't lie to me and try to cover your ass as to why you didn't call. When has Marmie ever wanted you in early from seeing friends? You always say one thing, but do another. When I actually do talk to you, you don't tell me the important stuff, like you dating Jessie again, for one. You knew that was starting back up in SCOTLAND, and how long ago was that?? If you claim we're such good friends, where's our connections? I'm getting this front from you that you're still trying to hold on to our friendship (don't get me wrong, I miss us more than anything) but I feel that you really don't care. I don't want a fake friendship with you, Katt. I want us back. But unless you care to make an actual effort towards that, don't pretend we're something we're not.
On that note, I'm done.