Comments | rotting_angel: I had a baby shower today.

rotting_angel

I had a baby shower today.

Nov 15, 2008 23:04

And despite a few hormonally induced mood swings and arguments that resulted from it.... I had a really good day. The shower went well, it was fun. I got nice things from the people I care about. :) Amber even came and it was fun ( Read more... )

Comments 4

inanna31 November 16 2008, 13:20:02 UTC

The mere fact that you're worried shows me you'll be a fabulous mother. It's so terribly scary when bringing children into this world, especially knowing things that we do and the things we've been through and are STILL going through.

That's so good that you're boyfriend is fabulous and does that to you. Those are happy things.

It's rough knowing you have every reason in the world to be happy and genuinly excited about everything but somehow still feeling hopeless and sad. Darling... I'm here if you want to talk.

Have a good day!

rotting_angel November 16 2008, 14:09:12 UTC

Thanks. A lot. It's nice to get reassurance from someone outside the situation. My family assures me I'll be a good mom and all. But it's different when it's not someone you know tries to make you feel good generally speaking.
It's not that I have everything to be happy and genuinely excited about...because money is a biiiig issue at this point. And it might be -our- breaking point. Because I can only do so much on my own, with him attached. (The state will help me if I'm alone. Not so much with the childs father yanno?) Not to mention it's a main cause of my anxiety and lack of security feeling.
But that...hopeless for no reason feeling is definitely there, and overwhelming.

inanna31 November 17 2008, 17:15:33 UTC

The state seems to make it so much more difficult when the man is there to help you. I went through that when I had my third child. Being a parent, you find ways to survive no matter how much you have to swallow your pride. Which I hate doing... lol. I'm positive you'll make it work. As good mothers, we always do. Don't think so much about tomorrow cuz thinking about today can be hard enough.

XOXO

rotting_angel November 17 2008, 17:22:04 UTC

Yes. They do. Which is why if he's not going to get off his ass and provide the way he promised, and the way he SWEARS he wants to. Then I'm going to have to get off mine and on my own feet. I will leave. If only for the sake of having money in our(my child and my) pockets and a roof over our head. Lump how I feel about him ti's about how I feel about her now. And goddamn are you right about today being hard enough to think about. Today -sucks- for me. And I ain't even done anything.