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[rottinglepha]

You know... Life can be pretty strange at times.

I don't feel the urge to post often or frequently about my life lately because, well, my life is good. I don't feel the need to justify it with proclamations of love or emotions. It's my life, I'm content with it.

But still I feel an urge to write. What about? The past. I need to maintain a strict

Comments

[blkrabbitofinle]

>> Maybe, maybe if I wasn't always the one working to make friends again. Maybe if someone else tried and worked at it to make me happy again. Maybe then I can be nice. Maybe not, but at least I would know they tried. <<

I feel this a lot. There's a lot of history, old and new, and I'm sure there will be more in the future, where I ask this. When it happens over and over again then I can't help but conclude it can only be my fault, and those around me are blameless for the pain they cause.

Yet... while in many cases I can see how that is true, in many cases I can't. And I don't understand how I see people go hounding after people who have abused them, people who treat them like shit, people who never care for them or go out of their way for them. While I care, and sacrifice myself to help, and as soon as I need help in return... they simply walk away without a word.

[blkrabbitofinle]

I read that again and am reminded of how much difficulty I have accepting the idea of, 'Forgiveness does not mean absolution.'

But beside the point; I loathe having to ask this because I knew her for quite some time and she was good to me right up until I stopped talked to, well, anyone. But all things considered I think I can be excused for my memory being shot to shit from ten different directions at the moment, particularly in regards to the past. What the hell was Skaves' girl's name? It's right on the tip of my fucking tongue but I can't get it out.