Halloween under the cut
My Halloween was like most holidays for me, a mix of highs and lows. Actually, no, it was nice. It was November first that was many shades of shit. I mean, I completed my annual 10 books for October goal on the last day with a reread of The Halloween Tree (I cheated with short books this year since it just wasn't happening). It was 10pm and I felt content after spending the day with my mom traveling about, even unexpectedly finding ourselves walking around an old cemetery, and then reading. If only the evening had ended there or with a quiet movie at home. If only... those words repeat so often in my head these days. Instead there was the late party with people my age (bringing up all of the ugly self-hatred back to the surface), anxiety, problems caused by anxiety and something worse, and the constant wish that I hadn't come and could just leave already. As you can tell, I am still not over some of the misery from that night. Ugh, had it just been as simple as all that. If I were just someone else! Oh well, it all went very bad, but I don't think anyone really noticed. I just need to let it end there.
As to what I went as: my first costume idea didn't work out (I had a slight allergic reaction to the old makeup I used ), so I bought last minute brown ears and went as a mouse. I knew that would either bring up the word cute or else the mentioning of certain Disney characters, so I also packed a fake dagger. I was thus named Vicious Mouse, or later ,to my annoyance, Vicky Mouse. Never again.
As to what I went as: my first costume idea didn't work out (I had a slight allergic reaction to the old makeup I used ), so I bought last minute brown ears and went as a mouse. I knew that would either bring up the word cute or else the mentioning of certain Disney characters, so I also packed a fake dagger. I was thus named Vicious Mouse, or later ,to my annoyance, Vicky Mouse. Never again.