I just begin.
Now that Halloween is out of the way there is now November to deal with. Days, seasons, years, they all go by so fast. Right now I'm having to pick out another four online classes to take so I can keep my insurance. It all feels dirty going about it this way since I did nothing for the last ones. I wish I could just go to college like I always thought I would. Instead everything is a mess and I've not accomplished anything. I'm not against online schooling, I just know after all these years that I'm no good at it. I have no self discipline. Maybe if I could just find the right classes, but then last time I took ones I was interested in. It's all just me letting anxiety and fear stop me before I even start.
I don't know what I want to do with my life, or what I'm even capable of. I just know that wanting to do everything while doing nothing at all isn't working. So even though this all feels wrong to me and part of me would rather take something art related like photography (which this school doesn't offer online), what classes do I pick now?
I'm definitely tweaking the meaning for myself just a bit at the moment as I listen. I love how I can find all sorts of different meanings besides the ones she most likely intended in her songs, while still enjoying them. I keep playing her music tonight.
I don't know what I want to do with my life, or what I'm even capable of. I just know that wanting to do everything while doing nothing at all isn't working. So even though this all feels wrong to me and part of me would rather take something art related like photography (which this school doesn't offer online), what classes do I pick now?
Click to viewI'm definitely tweaking the meaning for myself just a bit at the moment as I listen. I love how I can find all sorts of different meanings besides the ones she most likely intended in her songs, while still enjoying them. I keep playing her music tonight.