the year of...
It is odd but after cutting my hair I just feel like I don't have anything more to lose now. I'm not really sure how to explain what I mean by that, except that something besides the hair fell away. I woke up feeling like I'd care less about wearing the one necklace I've never worn (I pretty much stopped wearing jewelry when I started letting my hair grow out 5 or 6 or so years ago), or the watch, or the new shirt I didn't think I'd really wear out of the house. I just don't care, and maybe it is because the definition or only hazy image of myself that I had in my head is now no more. When that happens then there really isn't much to lose. I don't know if that is good or bad, but I think it is exactly what I need this year.
I saw a new therapist (I've only just started going to an anxiety disorder place now where they work as a team and so this was my third appointment, but first with this woman) and I think she made me realize what I've really got to do if I want to be able to move outside my safety/comfort zone (which is right now just barely the house). Unlike the last appointment where I wanted to run as far away from therapy as possible, I actually want to do this.
This is going to be the year I learn to embrace discomfort.
I saw a new therapist (I've only just started going to an anxiety disorder place now where they work as a team and so this was my third appointment, but first with this woman) and I think she made me realize what I've really got to do if I want to be able to move outside my safety/comfort zone (which is right now just barely the house). Unlike the last appointment where I wanted to run as far away from therapy as possible, I actually want to do this.
This is going to be the year I learn to embrace discomfort.