Titles #36 - "Sailing to Byzantium"

[rovingseaturtle]

(Ok, here we go)

Sailing to Byzantium

I'm like most people, I think. I'm always striving to reach my great success. I say my great success because I do not wish to imply that I want to be better, more succesful than others. I only want to succeed in the things I set out to succeed in. Say, I want knowledge. I don't mean some all encompassing

Comments

[peshekee]

i like this - but there does seem to be something missing in the middle

i shall think on it

maybe Jennifer or Kristyn will have an idea

[randomlanguage]

For me, what makes this piece less successful is that I can't see any of it. It's more telling than showing as they say. And yes, the narrator can narrate, but through the narration can show... if that makes any sense. I think you were successful at it in your other first person pieces.

I would end it without that last line...see what you think.