Close your eyes.

Now picture a world where it's five thirty-five on a weekday and BBC One isn't showing Neighbours.

Now open your eyes.

Odd, isn't it? Everything seems so familiar, yet lurking beyond the edge of your vision lies a truth too terrible to contemplate. In many ways it's too terrible to bear, but we must face whatever comes.

Because my job is completely unnecessary, I was allowed to leave work half an hour early today, which gave me the opportunity to realise just how much I've missed Neighbours ( Read more... )

What an absolute travesty. I even went so far as to force my friend Paul (at gunpoint) to ring up and vote for Ukraine, and for what? Twenty-five pee down the drain. That money could have been given to the poor.

Well, well, so much has been happening. Patrick Moore has proved to the world that he can literally say whatever he wants because he's so old and loved. Tony Blair has shocked the world by suddenly announcing that he plans to retire in a matter of weeks, David Beckham stepped up to help find a missing little girl by holding a picture of her in ( Read more... )

No, seriously, what?

What?

The People's Republic of Kent has been destroyed by an earthquake.Those Kentish saps wouldn't know an earthquake if it made all the seagulls go crazy. In Japan, I survived 'quakes the likes of which you westerners have never seen. I woke up at five in the morning wondering who was shaking my bed, bravely lodging myself under the bathroom door to ( Read more... )

Peter Andre has brain scan.I haven't got time to sit around making jokes about this, so the headline will have to do. I've got several repeats of Gladiators to catch up on ( Read more... )

Alan Ball, the man viewed by many to be responsible for dissolving the Soviet Union, has died of a heart attack aged 61. Across Russia, opinion was divided as to his legacy, given that he presided over Russia's economic collapse as well as it's rejection of decades of communist rule ( Read more... )

Vonnegut dead.