Screenwriting Class - Assignment #1

[rowr]

An empty industrial kitchen of a modern fine-dining restaurant.
Present day.

The lights flicker on after a metallic thud as the switch is flipped.  MICHAEL, 30, a well-groomed man of athletic build, carries a cooler and several bags into the silent room.  He inventories his surroundings as he makes his way to a bench across from the oven,

Comments

[krizazy]

Good twist in the horror story.

Are you supposed to use more adverbs in screenplays than in normal writing? I can see them being useful for actors to interpret the scenes. If it were a book I'd be nixing most words with an 'ly' in them.

My other observation is that it feels too well-written to be a screenplay. When I've seen them in the past (for oscar winning movies), they seemed to have been written by illiterates who couldn't form complete sentences.

I now know what a slug line is.

[rowr]

Hmmm that's a good point about the adverbs - I think I'm going to ask the teacher about it. It was hard for me to be descriptive enough without them but now looking at the scenes again they seem a little overly-adverby. :P

I have revised the scenes a bit since I posted this, and I want to edit them a little more since we talked over them in class. I'll repost what I get after I'm done editing.

Thanks! :)