Greece. August 27, 2006.
Dear Diary -
It is one thing to study the myths of another culture. It is another to live them. I'm glad we genocided the Native Americans and seriously fucked up their spirits cause this fucking 'I'm a god' bullshit is fucking lame.
Hera and Hephaestus are waring over the vampiric court of Greece and likely all of our shit as well. Big spirits with nothing better to do than pick on each other for all of eternity; I mean, what the fuck? I didn't understand it going in, but I got it by the end of the night. Malcolm explained it to me. I can't even begin to explain how fucking glad I am that Sevens was with me rather than Issy...if Smoke heard about how I was mooning over some vampire... Well, he'd forget all about all the dracula pussy he's fucked and come all up in my grill that some motherfucking dead creature ain't good enough for me. But nothing is good enough for me in that asshole's eyes. Nothing ever will be. There are no walls on my cage, just my brothers words and fucking disapproval. And, of course, the making of guys that I like almost dead.
In the silver age that the Greeks found motherfucking civilization. They started building shit, leaving their slavery gods and the myths behind. The past fucking repeats like no ones damn business. We did much the fucking same, asking the upset spirits to leave, and paying Charon with what is always given. Silver. Silver that Malcolm gave us. I don't think either Sevens or Lux know that he likely saved our lives. You don't fuck with broken portals to hell opened by morons who don't know what they are doing without at least a couple of silver coins. I never knew that quarters didn't have silver. Nor euros. We were, without a doubt, fucked.
But the fucked never happened, cause he stormed in. This fucking bullshit lick demanded to know what we were doing, and of all fucking things he listened when I told him. I couldn't fucking believe it. It was the thing no one ever does. They barge in and fuck everything up cause they know better than you. But not this one. He just came in, found out what was going on, found out we needed silver, and left. And then got us silver! It was an amazing example of efficiency. Apollo's own doors couldn't have been more fucking awesome than those coins.
The guardian demanded payment of my sight and Lux's memory, and it was motherfucking funny, you know? Bitch made the river Styx wash over my fucking eyes and steal my goddamned vision. All I could think standing there blind was how the motherfucking pillars of that hold up the grotto at the mouth of this fucking bullshit river tearing my sight from me are silver. It was like the spirt itself was speaking to me through myth and innuendo. And perhaps it was, for like Apollo's silver arrows, Malcolm just saw what needed be done and motherfucking rolled it. But I'm starting to gush and I'm not gonna gush cause he's just some guy and I'll never fucking see him again and it doesn't matter if he was easy to talk to and smart and smiled and saved the fucking ritual and listened and didn't suck. And he didn't treat me like a child.
I sound like one of the dumb fucking bitches mooning over my fucking brother. And that is a fucking travesty, so I gotta write about something else. I learnt like a fundamental fucking truth about the occult tonight, and it is painfully fucking simple to explain. Vampires are retarded. I mean, I thought mages were stupid. Oh, no. They must hit them over the head with shovels before they make them immortal, because this is the dance macabre of incompetence. I'm so glad that all the Awakened want to do is fuck like high schoolers on X, because if we attempted to play politics like this we'd all have fireballed enough other to death by now. I mean, seriously, how does some idiot fail at opening a gate to hell and then no one notice for four months? You think if they had eternity they'd learn how to read a motherfucking book or two. Like, whoa.
He kept telling me I reminded him of his daughter. That was kinda creepy. I kept wanting to say something about how my Dad was dead and my brother killed him, just like my brother was going to kill this guy cause I was crushing on him, but that didn't seem very appropriate. So instead I explained how "can't" was an impossibility that should be railed against at all costs, and he explained to me how Milton was wrong. True Hell is not being locked in a room with those you once loved for eternity, but rather being locked alone, and playing solitaire forever. It sounds so lame when I explain it, but he just made so much motherfucking sense.
And then later we talked about family. Some little shithead was whining about how people shouldn't kill shit. We were talking about right and wrong, and fucking family came up. And while Smoke may sometimes be like one of Artemis’ own damn arrows about this fucking no boyfriend thing, he's still my brother. And like watching this vampire nod on about how family is like super important, since he's like so fucking old and has seen like everything, made me really fucking miss Smoke. I'm fucking glad he's back from Heaven, cause while shit is motherfucking harder when he's around, it is also more motherfucking right. I gotta stay on fucking target and stay focused. He's fucking slipping, too, and I can almost fucking feel it. Change is fucking coming, and if he's changing, it is cause he thinks it is time for me to motherfucking change. I ain't ready yet. I can't fucking learn it. I don't know what is stopping me. I can feel the power there. I can motherfucking almost touch it, but it is like fucking trying to close your fist around cocaine. You get some, and but not the motherload.
But Smoke is in Maryland and I'm in fucking Greece. I really need to learn to fucking port. Or I could just untie Ulysses’ motherfucking string and have his winds blow me the fuck home. Or I can sit on a park bench and write into my journal about some fucking vampire that got my heart all fluttery. Fucking lame; I am as bad as them. Fucking hell. I need a drink.
Tink
Malcom's point of view.