mazily
in
rps_advent
Day 26: Pirate AU - Canada
Title: Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum
Author: mazily
Fandom/Pairings: Canada, HD/CKR/MP
Prompt: Pirate AU
Summary: A dastardly tale of piracy, murder, and sex.
A/N: Apologies for the a) shortness and b) tardiness. Calendars are hard, yo, and apparently December 26 is the day immediately following December 25. Who knew?
The first Dread Pirate Oh is called that because it's actually her name (from her father's reaction to her birth, which was, in short, "oh, fu-"; in long, it was something far less suitable for children-- and this is your final warning to shuffle all the young ones off to bed before continuing to read this most dastardly tale of piracy, murder, and worst of all sex-- which went something along the lines of, "oh, fuck, not another sodding girlchild!"), but the rest of the Dread Pirates Oh are given the name upon proving their worth.
The title is currently shared five ways: there's the Dread Pirate "Oh, \o/!", the Dread Pirate "Oh, piracy is just like golf", the Dread Pirate "Oh, fuck off, already, you fucking fucker", the Dread Pirate "Oh, just call me Molly", and the Original Dread Pirate Oh (ODPO for short); for simplicity's sake (and to save the author the trouble of typing out those terribly long names), we shall call them Paul, Callum, Hugh, Molly, and ODPO (aka Sandra). While Paul is happily married to the Dread Wench "He's not as cute as he thinks he is, but I love him anyway" (Martha to her friends, and enemies), the rest of the crew are sexually indiscriminate (and indiscriminately sexy).
*
It starts with the normal things: plundering, pillaging, daring escapes from the law. It ends with the normal things: romance, plundering, and daring escapes from the gallows. We start, for expediency's sake, somewhere in the middle.
-"oh, fuck," Molly says, "oh." She collapses against Callum, sweaty and blotchy and out of breath. Callum groans, and Hugh applauds.
"Brav-fucking-o," Hugh says. "Next time let's try that without the fucking interruptions, Gross, you hear me?"
(Okay, so maybe that was a touch too in media res, but oh well. No one really needs to see what came before that, right? Right.)
(Right?)
Fine: it starts with a drink, or two, and Molly and Callum make a bet about gold coins, a dolphin, and the octopus that's been chasing them for nigh on thirteen months now. Callum wins, or Molly does (or maybe Hugh does, even though it wasn't his bet to begin with, because he has a way with things like that) and Molly dances as she removes her clothing, shoes to shirt to trousers.
Hugh sings. Molly's dancing. Callum sits, and he tries to unbutton his shirt, eyes never leaving Molly's neck, her chest, her legs (except to look at Hugh, Hugh's throat and his mouth and those fingers that join with Callum's, purposeful and sure, pulling Callum's shirt from his shoulders). "Yo ho, yo ho," Hugh sings, "a pirate's life for-"
And Callum pushes Hugh to the deck, back against the ground, and climbs over him. On top of him, straddling Hugh's waist, and Callum grabs Hugh's hands and forces them over his head. "Stay," he says, "Or Molly doesn't come."
"-me," Hugh finishes.
"Hey," Molly says. "What?"
"Stay," Callum repeats, and he pulls at Hugh's trousers, pushing them down until they catch on his boots. "Stay." Hugh squirms, and his arms shake, but his hands don't move. Callum crawls over Hugh-- his dick inches from Hugh's mouth, hard, Hugh can see it pressing against Callum's pants, hard and, Hugh imagines, maybe leaking a little, just at the tip, wet-- and reaches for Molly. She kneels at Hugh's head, thigh hot against his ear, and kisses Callum.
Callum's good with his fingers, better with his mouth, his tongue, and he pushes his fingers into Molly's mouth as he kisses her. As he pushes his cock across Hugh's cheek and rubs it against Hugh's mouth. Hugh's open mouth. Hugh licks at the fabric covering Callum's cock, lines of spit connecting them, grunting and arms still trembling. He's moaning, they all are, and Callum reaches down with one hand, reaches blindly, pulling at his own trousers, opening the fly and pulling out his dick.
"Fuck," Hugh says, and he lifts his head, mouth already open and breathing short. staccato. breaths.
--"Land ho!" says Paul. "Trousers up, people, and swords at the ready!"
"That goes for you, too, darling," Martha says, not at all sotto voce.--
"Fuck," Molly says. She bites Callum's lip and twists her hands in his hair. "Fuck.
*
They pillage, they plunder, they kill (what, you don't expect details at this point, do you?). They return home for a lovely supper and a few dozen bottles of rum, a spot of music and a jig or two. They've picked up new crew off the Island of Vancouver, two strapping young lads named Jenny and Jared, and they set sail for the Fort of the Angels in the morning, in search of Oscar Gold and the lost treasure of Emmy.
"The first rule of working on the Pirate Ship Canadia," ODPO is saying, "is that only I get to wear an eye patch. Not that I actually would, of course, but there you have it. There is no second rule. And now, we dance." She bows to Jenny (or is it Jared?), and offers him her hand. He, being neither blind nor a complete idiot, accepts, and they begin the first waltz.
"Tonight," Callum whispers, breath wet against Hugh's ear, "Report to the brig after the last song." He traces an X on the back of Molly's neck, and she shivers, Hugh shivers, and Callum laughs. "You too, Molly. Be sure to shackle him when you get there." He kisses her, open-mouthed but fast, a press of tongue and a quick bite, and he jumps up to ask Martha for a dance.
*fin.
Author: mazily
Fandom/Pairings: Canada, HD/CKR/MP
Prompt: Pirate AU
Summary: A dastardly tale of piracy, murder, and sex.
A/N: Apologies for the a) shortness and b) tardiness. Calendars are hard, yo, and apparently December 26 is the day immediately following December 25. Who knew?
The first Dread Pirate Oh is called that because it's actually her name (from her father's reaction to her birth, which was, in short, "oh, fu-"; in long, it was something far less suitable for children-- and this is your final warning to shuffle all the young ones off to bed before continuing to read this most dastardly tale of piracy, murder, and worst of all sex-- which went something along the lines of, "oh, fuck, not another sodding girlchild!"), but the rest of the Dread Pirates Oh are given the name upon proving their worth.
The title is currently shared five ways: there's the Dread Pirate "Oh, \o/!", the Dread Pirate "Oh, piracy is just like golf", the Dread Pirate "Oh, fuck off, already, you fucking fucker", the Dread Pirate "Oh, just call me Molly", and the Original Dread Pirate Oh (ODPO for short); for simplicity's sake (and to save the author the trouble of typing out those terribly long names), we shall call them Paul, Callum, Hugh, Molly, and ODPO (aka Sandra). While Paul is happily married to the Dread Wench "He's not as cute as he thinks he is, but I love him anyway" (Martha to her friends, and enemies), the rest of the crew are sexually indiscriminate (and indiscriminately sexy).
*
It starts with the normal things: plundering, pillaging, daring escapes from the law. It ends with the normal things: romance, plundering, and daring escapes from the gallows. We start, for expediency's sake, somewhere in the middle.
-"oh, fuck," Molly says, "oh." She collapses against Callum, sweaty and blotchy and out of breath. Callum groans, and Hugh applauds.
"Brav-fucking-o," Hugh says. "Next time let's try that without the fucking interruptions, Gross, you hear me?"
(Okay, so maybe that was a touch too in media res, but oh well. No one really needs to see what came before that, right? Right.)
(Right?)
Fine: it starts with a drink, or two, and Molly and Callum make a bet about gold coins, a dolphin, and the octopus that's been chasing them for nigh on thirteen months now. Callum wins, or Molly does (or maybe Hugh does, even though it wasn't his bet to begin with, because he has a way with things like that) and Molly dances as she removes her clothing, shoes to shirt to trousers.
Hugh sings. Molly's dancing. Callum sits, and he tries to unbutton his shirt, eyes never leaving Molly's neck, her chest, her legs (except to look at Hugh, Hugh's throat and his mouth and those fingers that join with Callum's, purposeful and sure, pulling Callum's shirt from his shoulders). "Yo ho, yo ho," Hugh sings, "a pirate's life for-"
And Callum pushes Hugh to the deck, back against the ground, and climbs over him. On top of him, straddling Hugh's waist, and Callum grabs Hugh's hands and forces them over his head. "Stay," he says, "Or Molly doesn't come."
"-me," Hugh finishes.
"Hey," Molly says. "What?"
"Stay," Callum repeats, and he pulls at Hugh's trousers, pushing them down until they catch on his boots. "Stay." Hugh squirms, and his arms shake, but his hands don't move. Callum crawls over Hugh-- his dick inches from Hugh's mouth, hard, Hugh can see it pressing against Callum's pants, hard and, Hugh imagines, maybe leaking a little, just at the tip, wet-- and reaches for Molly. She kneels at Hugh's head, thigh hot against his ear, and kisses Callum.
Callum's good with his fingers, better with his mouth, his tongue, and he pushes his fingers into Molly's mouth as he kisses her. As he pushes his cock across Hugh's cheek and rubs it against Hugh's mouth. Hugh's open mouth. Hugh licks at the fabric covering Callum's cock, lines of spit connecting them, grunting and arms still trembling. He's moaning, they all are, and Callum reaches down with one hand, reaches blindly, pulling at his own trousers, opening the fly and pulling out his dick.
"Fuck," Hugh says, and he lifts his head, mouth already open and breathing short. staccato. breaths.
--"Land ho!" says Paul. "Trousers up, people, and swords at the ready!"
"That goes for you, too, darling," Martha says, not at all sotto voce.--
"Fuck," Molly says. She bites Callum's lip and twists her hands in his hair. "Fuck.
*
They pillage, they plunder, they kill (what, you don't expect details at this point, do you?). They return home for a lovely supper and a few dozen bottles of rum, a spot of music and a jig or two. They've picked up new crew off the Island of Vancouver, two strapping young lads named Jenny and Jared, and they set sail for the Fort of the Angels in the morning, in search of Oscar Gold and the lost treasure of Emmy.
"The first rule of working on the Pirate Ship Canadia," ODPO is saying, "is that only I get to wear an eye patch. Not that I actually would, of course, but there you have it. There is no second rule. And now, we dance." She bows to Jenny (or is it Jared?), and offers him her hand. He, being neither blind nor a complete idiot, accepts, and they begin the first waltz.
"Tonight," Callum whispers, breath wet against Hugh's ear, "Report to the brig after the last song." He traces an X on the back of Molly's neck, and she shivers, Hugh shivers, and Callum laughs. "You too, Molly. Be sure to shackle him when you get there." He kisses her, open-mouthed but fast, a press of tongue and a quick bite, and he jumps up to ask Martha for a dance.
*fin.