I am not doing so well. I am having trouble sleeping and transitioning to my new doctors. They cant see me for several weeks and I am almost out of meds. I am not sure what to do
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That is something very...unexpected. I know that there is nothing I could ever say to undo the shit you have been through but, for what it's worth, I'm sorry.
I can only imagine the number of times you have tried to write this out, and I'm sure it wasn't easy for you. Especially in light of how you said you feel about sharing information about yourself. I appreciate the fact that you were willing to share this, and I hope it has, in some small part at least, helped you...shit, I don't know. That can't be the sort of thing you just get over.
I'm afraid I would just make an ass of myself if I try to say any more.
Call me sometime if you want, I'm up stupidly late (like 6ish)
Your mother and father are very sick people. To imagine why any mother would ever allow such horrific things to be done to her child is completely beyond me. If anyone ever did something like that to my son, I think I'd probably fucking kill them.
That said, I want you to know how sorry I am to learn that your faith in goodness and humanity was destroyed by your rotten parents. I have this totally unrealistic desire to go back in time and kick your father's ass the first time he so much as thought about touching you, but I know I can't do that. All I can do is tell you that there are lots of people in your life who care about you and who would never do anything to willfully hurt you the way your parents did. I know that's probably not enough to totally restore your faith in humanity, but perhaps it's a good start. :)
I'm here for you, dear. If you ever want to talk or hang out, feel free to give me a call.
my friends have angel wingsrsangelFebruary 4 2007, 10:09:51 UTC
Thank you both for being my friends. I dont have many friends because I am afraid they will reject because of what happened to me or they wont understand. I know eventually I will get to a point where it doenst dominate my mind. The fact that I can share with you guys (and you still love me) makes it easier to go one more day. I think I have my meds figured out now..I am so afraid to go off of them.
Again thank you for your love and thoughts. Kirsten
Re: my friends have angel wingssylvanirFebruary 4 2007, 20:30:50 UTC
What can I say? Unlike your mother, I can see that this isn't something you chose to let happen. You were young, seeking approval in some way, and those in the position to raise you in a loving, caring environment decided to abuse that responsibility and trust. Why should this change how I feel about you? I mean, if you had been crawling into his bed, going, "Daddy, you've only raped me three times tonight. Don't you love me anymore? What if I let you rape my asshole too?" Then it might be a different story. I wouldn't feel quite as sorry for you at that point. Still wouldn't make me stop being your friend though - would just make me re-evaluate you somewhat.
As it is, though...this isn't the sort of thing I would wish on anyone. I'm sorry that you went through that and, while I understand that my friendship might not be enough to restore your faith in humanity, I do hope it at least gets you to smile occasionally.
Comments 4
I can only imagine the number of times you have tried to write this out, and I'm sure it wasn't easy for you. Especially in light of how you said you feel about sharing information about yourself. I appreciate the fact that you were willing to share this, and I hope it has, in some small part at least, helped you...shit, I don't know. That can't be the sort of thing you just get over.
I'm afraid I would just make an ass of myself if I try to say any more.
Call me sometime if you want, I'm up stupidly late (like 6ish)
Reply
Your mother and father are very sick people. To imagine why any mother would ever allow such horrific things to be done to her child is completely beyond me. If anyone ever did something like that to my son, I think I'd probably fucking kill them.
That said, I want you to know how sorry I am to learn that your faith in goodness and humanity was destroyed by your rotten parents. I have this totally unrealistic desire to go back in time and kick your father's ass the first time he so much as thought about touching you, but I know I can't do that. All I can do is tell you that there are lots of people in your life who care about you and who would never do anything to willfully hurt you the way your parents did. I know that's probably not enough to totally restore your faith in humanity, but perhaps it's a good start. :)
I'm here for you, dear. If you ever want to talk or hang out, feel free to give me a call.
Reply
Again thank you for your love and thoughts.
Kirsten
Reply
As it is, though...this isn't the sort of thing I would wish on anyone. I'm sorry that you went through that and, while I understand that my friendship might not be enough to restore your faith in humanity, I do hope it at least gets you to smile occasionally.
Take care.
Reply
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