I have a heap of things I SHOULD be doing, but none of them are very appealing right now. Even the arty stuff. Maybe I'll just go do some 'research' on the net
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IME: effort -> reward maximisation, risk aversion Being nice takes more effort, especially if one is feeling down. It's easier to share the grump.
That fuzzy feeling can really depend on the response you receive. A negative reaction to your niceness can really screw it over, much as a good reaction can really boost it.
Some people may never or rarely experience positive (or even neutral) feedback therefore see the rewards from the low-effort path as being reliably the best available.
Which I'm sure you can see gets rather circular rather quickly.
At the same time I'm not actually sure that being nice to people who are crap to you is necessarily the best reinforcement strategy, in that it rewards the wrong behaviour. (See also the Prisoner's Dilemma)
Yeah, I think that I may be a bit weird in this, I find that being nice is generally less effort since if I'm not nice I berate myself more.
However people who are consistently crap pretty much getting ignored. Pretty much, I'm apparently a sucker for punishment. The theory there I suppose is that if you _take it_ you _get it_. I refuse to entirely give up on the human race's ability to actually rise above crappy behaviour! I'm not surprised by crappy behaviour, merely disappointed.
If I'm in a neutral to good mood I find it's easiest to be nice (I think, I'd need an external viewpoint to know if I actually act in accordance with that).
If I'm not nice to someone when I'm in a bad mood I'll usually tell myself off / feel guilty later, but because that effort is delayed it simply isn't taken into account at the time.
why, when it feels so much nicer to be decent to people, do so many people choose to be pretty crap to each other? or does no-one else get that fuzzy feeling?
No idea. Maybe they are sociopaths or don't see all people as equal to themselves? Maybe they don't actually realise they are being pretty crap? Maybe they learnt that they can get further in life by being crap to other people, and just ignore that horrible feeling they get afterwards...
Oh, another explanation: It's a lot easier to be charitable towards others when you aren't struggling for survival yourself. It's also a lot easier to continue the habits of a lifetime than to change them, so if you learnt to survive by being selfish and cruel then you might continue on that way after the necessity has gone.
Also, many people learn how to treat others from how others treat them. If no one was ever nice to them they might be pretty crap to others...
I am, of course, talking about people who are consistently crap to others, rather than those who might feel be influenced by mood every now and then. Everyone has bad days.
Comments 6
Being nice takes more effort, especially if one is feeling down. It's easier to share the grump.
That fuzzy feeling can really depend on the response you receive. A negative reaction to your niceness can really screw it over, much as a good reaction can really boost it.
Some people may never or rarely experience positive (or even neutral) feedback therefore see the rewards from the low-effort path as being reliably the best available.
Which I'm sure you can see gets rather circular rather quickly.
At the same time I'm not actually sure that being nice to people who are crap to you is necessarily the best reinforcement strategy, in that it rewards the wrong behaviour. (See also the Prisoner's Dilemma)
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However people who are consistently crap pretty much getting ignored. Pretty much, I'm apparently a sucker for punishment. The theory there I suppose is that if you _take it_ you _get it_. I refuse to entirely give up on the human race's ability to actually rise above crappy behaviour! I'm not surprised by crappy behaviour, merely disappointed.
Reply
If I'm not nice to someone when I'm in a bad mood I'll usually tell myself off / feel guilty later, but because that effort is delayed it simply isn't taken into account at the time.
Reply
No idea. Maybe they are sociopaths or don't see all people as equal to themselves? Maybe they don't actually realise they are being pretty crap? Maybe they learnt that they can get further in life by being crap to other people, and just ignore that horrible feeling they get afterwards...
Reply
Also, many people learn how to treat others from how others treat them. If no one was ever nice to them they might be pretty crap to others...
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