[& NFL...actually just the AFC East: The hell fuck is going on?]
I'm usually relatively cynical about the Dolphins--for good reason going 7-9 the past 2 years straight and 1-15 not too long ago--but this time I'm not going to be as cynical.
You heard me.
They're going to go 8-8 this year. .500. And they'll beat the Jets once. But not the Patriots at all because I said 'not as cynical' not 'batshit crazy'.
--
The draft happened last night and no surprise on Luck to the Colts and RGIII to the Redskins. For some reason, I don't like Luck. I can't put my finger on it--I don't know if it's the derp I see or the fact that he's succeeding my Pey-Pey but I don't like him. He'll be good but just something about him rubs me...wrong. Hard to explain.
Still, he throws good. Then again, so did Ryan Leaf. So you have that.
Which leads to the point of this: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE KNOWING HOW THESE KIDS (GOD I'M OLD) ARE GOING TO TURN OUT?! Mel Kiper I'm looking at you. Idiots on message boards, I'm definitely looking at you. Ryan Tannehill was drafted by the Dolphins and already he's either a) dog shit pot-pie or b) the Second Coming of Marino.
He's neither for the simple fact he hasn't had the chance to do anything. He hasn't had a practice. He hasn't thrown a ball in practice. Nothing. I want this kid to come to Miami, sit for a year, maybe two and then go out there. I don't want to win now. Hell, the Dolphins haven't won jack in 12 years, what's another 2? They can't keep picking up burnt out QBs or "meh" QBs or just wait until Tom Brady retires.
-
Considering the off season the Dolphins have had--protests and pretty much the entire NFL Network and ESPN laughing at them for a laundry list...
a) Being 7-9 2 years in a row
b) Having no QB
b1) Not getting Peyton Manning (and him writing a really nice letter which translated to, "Your front office is god awful, no.")
b2) Not getting Matt Flynn who saw the *Seattle Seahawks* as a better option.
c) Failing to get Jeff Fisher to coach.
d) Failing to get the now San Francisco coach who just so happened to take them to the NFC Championship game.
e) Cutting their leading tackle...after they said they weren't.
f) Cutting their leading wide receiver.
g) Losing 30,000 season ticket holders over the last 5 years.
...I am happy the season is almost here. All of that is what happens when you have people at the top who don't know fuck all what they're doing. But there's nothing we, as the fans can do but protest with our wallets and be mad because they (Jeff Ireland and Mr. Ross) will not listen.
Oh they'll say they will. But ffffffuuuu--no. No, they won't. Because they get to go home and roll around in their bed of money and laugh. Like they really care what fans think; the Browns haven't done crap in years and there are people that still buy their stuff. Same goes for any team. So you'll piss a few people off like me who turned down season tickets but on the whole, people will still buy Aqua and Orange, waiting for the day when they're relevant again so they can go, "I WUZ THAR DURIN DA BAD TIMES, FUGGIN BAND WAGONEERS!"
Yeah. You have fun with that guys. I was there for 1-15. I went to those home games. I watch pure ineptitude. I paid $8 for a rum and coke. Paid my dues. Now their move.
This year, with *DAVID GERRARD* at the helm, watching games are going to be painful. But no, this year, I am going to man up and watch.
All my Dolphins gear is still in the closet though.
--
Peyton Manning ended up with the Broncos and they pretty much shot Tim Tebow out of a cannon 22 hrs later, dashing the hope of any Peyton ManningxTim Tebow fanfic writers. And where does he go?
The Jets. Fuck.
That being said, I don't *hate* the Jets. I hate their coach which then translates to the rest of the team and their pretty boy quarterback...ok, I hate the Jets, I just hate them less than the Patriots so there you go. Now Tim Tebow is on that team because...John Elway was jealous? (yes) Rex Ryan is crazy? (yes!) I don't know.
All I do know is that I have to root for Tim freaking Tebow wearing Green and White because the guy could crap out the cure for cancer and it wouldn't be enough for people. So I want him to win--lose 2x to the Dolphins but w/e, dream--and win and win. I want Merril Hodge to eat his words and J.A. Adande to choke on his and Stephen A. Smith to just go in a hole somewhere.
And Pey-Pey? I want him to do good too. I just want to punch John Elway in the mouth for being such an asshole even while Tim Tebow was there winning a playoff game which is something they haven't done since...him. Bah.
Wouldn't it be poetic if those two met in the AFC Championship game?
Ok, maybe the Peyton ManningxTim Tebow fanfic-cers will have a little bit more fodder if that happens. But let's hope those people don't do that.
You heard me.
They're going to go 8-8 this year. .500. And they'll beat the Jets once. But not the Patriots at all because I said 'not as cynical' not 'batshit crazy'.
--
The draft happened last night and no surprise on Luck to the Colts and RGIII to the Redskins. For some reason, I don't like Luck. I can't put my finger on it--I don't know if it's the derp I see or the fact that he's succeeding my Pey-Pey but I don't like him. He'll be good but just something about him rubs me...wrong. Hard to explain.
Still, he throws good. Then again, so did Ryan Leaf. So you have that.
Which leads to the point of this: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE KNOWING HOW THESE KIDS (GOD I'M OLD) ARE GOING TO TURN OUT?! Mel Kiper I'm looking at you. Idiots on message boards, I'm definitely looking at you. Ryan Tannehill was drafted by the Dolphins and already he's either a) dog shit pot-pie or b) the Second Coming of Marino.
He's neither for the simple fact he hasn't had the chance to do anything. He hasn't had a practice. He hasn't thrown a ball in practice. Nothing. I want this kid to come to Miami, sit for a year, maybe two and then go out there. I don't want to win now. Hell, the Dolphins haven't won jack in 12 years, what's another 2? They can't keep picking up burnt out QBs or "meh" QBs or just wait until Tom Brady retires.
-
Considering the off season the Dolphins have had--protests and pretty much the entire NFL Network and ESPN laughing at them for a laundry list...
a) Being 7-9 2 years in a row
b) Having no QB
b1) Not getting Peyton Manning (and him writing a really nice letter which translated to, "Your front office is god awful, no.")
b2) Not getting Matt Flynn who saw the *Seattle Seahawks* as a better option.
c) Failing to get Jeff Fisher to coach.
d) Failing to get the now San Francisco coach who just so happened to take them to the NFC Championship game.
e) Cutting their leading tackle...after they said they weren't.
f) Cutting their leading wide receiver.
g) Losing 30,000 season ticket holders over the last 5 years.
...I am happy the season is almost here. All of that is what happens when you have people at the top who don't know fuck all what they're doing. But there's nothing we, as the fans can do but protest with our wallets and be mad because they (Jeff Ireland and Mr. Ross) will not listen.
Oh they'll say they will. But ffffffuuuu--no. No, they won't. Because they get to go home and roll around in their bed of money and laugh. Like they really care what fans think; the Browns haven't done crap in years and there are people that still buy their stuff. Same goes for any team. So you'll piss a few people off like me who turned down season tickets but on the whole, people will still buy Aqua and Orange, waiting for the day when they're relevant again so they can go, "I WUZ THAR DURIN DA BAD TIMES, FUGGIN BAND WAGONEERS!"
Yeah. You have fun with that guys. I was there for 1-15. I went to those home games. I watch pure ineptitude. I paid $8 for a rum and coke. Paid my dues. Now their move.
This year, with *DAVID GERRARD* at the helm, watching games are going to be painful. But no, this year, I am going to man up and watch.
All my Dolphins gear is still in the closet though.
--
Peyton Manning ended up with the Broncos and they pretty much shot Tim Tebow out of a cannon 22 hrs later, dashing the hope of any Peyton ManningxTim Tebow fanfic writers. And where does he go?
The Jets. Fuck.
That being said, I don't *hate* the Jets. I hate their coach which then translates to the rest of the team and their pretty boy quarterback...ok, I hate the Jets, I just hate them less than the Patriots so there you go. Now Tim Tebow is on that team because...John Elway was jealous? (yes) Rex Ryan is crazy? (yes!) I don't know.
All I do know is that I have to root for Tim freaking Tebow wearing Green and White because the guy could crap out the cure for cancer and it wouldn't be enough for people. So I want him to win--lose 2x to the Dolphins but w/e, dream--and win and win. I want Merril Hodge to eat his words and J.A. Adande to choke on his and Stephen A. Smith to just go in a hole somewhere.
And Pey-Pey? I want him to do good too. I just want to punch John Elway in the mouth for being such an asshole even while Tim Tebow was there winning a playoff game which is something they haven't done since...him. Bah.
Wouldn't it be poetic if those two met in the AFC Championship game?
Ok, maybe the Peyton ManningxTim Tebow fanfic-cers will have a little bit more fodder if that happens. But let's hope those people don't do that.