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[rubybegonia]

I am completely drained. My belongings are scattered across a ten mile radius, but at least they are still mine. I am tired of being needed and wanted, I feel like I might be coming down with meningitis, a very mean evil kitty is attacking me every time I breathe in her direction and I have no real "home". It feels strange to not love John in

Comments

[edelwiess]

Confusion, combined with exhaustion and illness are a totally bad combination. You are true to your word, sometimes truer to your word than you are to yourself. Once you become completely true to yourself, you will be truer to your word. And when you think about it, you were there forever and ever. You just gave all you could give. With nothing coming back to fill you up again, well you ran out of time. This is grieving. I think that you will vacillate between anger and numbness for sometime. Remember what A would say....Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
You will grow and it will hurt. But it will heal and you will be stronger yet.