H/D til you puke
I admit to being an extremely big fan of H/D when I first saw it. I thought it was an almost perfect form of smut: it had dorky boys (my personal favorite kind) in sweaters and ties; it had witchcraft, duels and swords (why would I go to the Renaissance Faire if I never got turned on by any of those things?); but best of all, it never got bogged down with the mushy stuff the way that so much het did.
It's not that I don't like het, although I admit I can see the point of view that two guys are hotter than one.
What I sometimes disliked about het was its tendency to end in declarations of love eternal:
"As Yorick held her in his manly arms, Lucinda knew that she would be safe with him forever. Their love would go on, becoming stronger every day until Ruby was forced to put down the book and vomit...",
boring wedding plans in great detail:
"and the placemats were white, and there were white roses on the ground, and her dress was white satin with a white train with tiny white beads on it, and Ruby doesn't know about the catering because she threw the book out the window after nineteen paragraphs of this tripe...",
and of course the ultimate sacrifice!
No, not a goat. I mean the sacrifice of PLOT in the name of FLUFF:
""Oh, Baron Von Lars!" she exclaimed, "shouldn't we be plotting against Lord Evildude?" "Who?" asked Lars, holding her in his manly arms again..."
Lately I have come to the realization that H/D has become everything I used to dislike about het. It's like they've been together so long nobody feels the need to start them out as enemies anymore. Everyone just assumes they are in True Love already. I will share with you some of the plots of H/D fics I have read in the past month, so that you can share my pain. Not that these fics were bad, or badly written, just that they are illustrations of how far H/D has veered from its original form. Names have been excluded to protect the not-so-innocent.
1. H is mad at D who is taking too long to make breakfast. He goes into the kitchen to find D naked but for an apron which reads "Kiss the House-elf". H decides he cannot stay mad at D. They make love.
2. H and D are sharing a flat in London post-war. D wants a threesome, so H invites best friend R to have threesome. R consents, then confesses love for H. H feels sorry for R, but loves D too much to leave him for R and hopes R will still be his friend anyway. H and D continue to make love.
3. H has a beanie baby stag. D is a professional artist, and he steals it on thier sixth anniversary to paint its portrait in oils. H is very angry when he finds it gone, but relents when he sees the beautiful portrait. They discuss where to hang it in thier flat. H gives D a small statue of a chimera. Then they make love.
It's getting to the point where I have to read het to get fic with non-fluff plot. How did that happen? More to the point, what should be done about it?
To see what you think on the subject, I created this poll.
Poll
It's not that I don't like het, although I admit I can see the point of view that two guys are hotter than one.
What I sometimes disliked about het was its tendency to end in declarations of love eternal:
"As Yorick held her in his manly arms, Lucinda knew that she would be safe with him forever. Their love would go on, becoming stronger every day until Ruby was forced to put down the book and vomit...",
boring wedding plans in great detail:
"and the placemats were white, and there were white roses on the ground, and her dress was white satin with a white train with tiny white beads on it, and Ruby doesn't know about the catering because she threw the book out the window after nineteen paragraphs of this tripe...",
and of course the ultimate sacrifice!
No, not a goat. I mean the sacrifice of PLOT in the name of FLUFF:
""Oh, Baron Von Lars!" she exclaimed, "shouldn't we be plotting against Lord Evildude?" "Who?" asked Lars, holding her in his manly arms again..."
Lately I have come to the realization that H/D has become everything I used to dislike about het. It's like they've been together so long nobody feels the need to start them out as enemies anymore. Everyone just assumes they are in True Love already. I will share with you some of the plots of H/D fics I have read in the past month, so that you can share my pain. Not that these fics were bad, or badly written, just that they are illustrations of how far H/D has veered from its original form. Names have been excluded to protect the not-so-innocent.
1. H is mad at D who is taking too long to make breakfast. He goes into the kitchen to find D naked but for an apron which reads "Kiss the House-elf". H decides he cannot stay mad at D. They make love.
2. H and D are sharing a flat in London post-war. D wants a threesome, so H invites best friend R to have threesome. R consents, then confesses love for H. H feels sorry for R, but loves D too much to leave him for R and hopes R will still be his friend anyway. H and D continue to make love.
3. H has a beanie baby stag. D is a professional artist, and he steals it on thier sixth anniversary to paint its portrait in oils. H is very angry when he finds it gone, but relents when he sees the beautiful portrait. They discuss where to hang it in thier flat. H gives D a small statue of a chimera. Then they make love.
It's getting to the point where I have to read het to get fic with non-fluff plot. How did that happen? More to the point, what should be done about it?
To see what you think on the subject, I created this poll.
Poll